₦airaland Forum

It's natural. Too much preoccupation with one person is bound to cause complacency

Threads like this are one of the low-hanging fruits that are comfortably brought forward for "discussion".

Marriage is not solely about a wife being fixated on sustaining her husband's interest in their marriage because men have "short attention span". They both owe each other an obligation to sustain each other's interest in the marriage, none should be "babied".

Women actually lose interest more and quicker.

Always do your research well before you start what you can't finish.

I blame the Nigerian govt. Nothing to do after graduation

Klass99:
I am open to learning one or two useful things from a male perspective. I like what that user Theophorus shared, it was valuable information.

I'm looking forward to a female perspective as well and hoping Kanwulia or others share their experience. And I am truthfully not seeing it the way you and Hathor are.

you had beta not waste ur time n go about ur business waiting for a female perspective from the kind of females we have here is like expecting buhari to achieve a goal.

descarado:
Women actually lose interest more and quicker.

Always do your research well before you start what you can't finish.

I blame the Nigerian govt. Nothing to do after graduation

Did you? Have you?

.

addictiv:
life is in phases and its only natural to loose interest in things along the line ...people change as they grow, interests change, priorities change. The person you married today wont be the same person 5 or 20 years from now. You have to be willing to accept that these changes are part of life and establish a good communication base with your partner so that you can evolve together instead of fighting against the change.

You are so right,God bless you.The earlier we accept this truth, the more responsible we will become and stop blame game.
A child of 5years will tell you he wants to be a banker in future, when he's 10years old he will say he wants to be a lawyer, when he's 18years old,he will tell you he wants to be a medical doctor so that he can easily travel out of the country.It's same person ooo but as he grows,his desire changes.

Klass99:
You can learn from people who don't get it right as well.

For example I learnt how to NOT be a real jerk or jackass like Donald Trump and some extended family members

I don't think anyone needed Trump to learn that but I get your point. However, I still believe that learning from those who get it right is far more effective. You wouldn't ask someone who doesn't know how to bake to show you how to make a cake. You would ask the one who knows how to get the job done. Anything else would be a waste of time.

pozehnani:
This can only happen When people don't understand what marriage is all about.

Most people see marriage as a medium to satisfy their sexual desires and that is why you see many men attracted and getting married to a lady because of her shape. When she goes out of shape, the Interest is gone.

Some see marriage as a means of survival. So when they become comfortable, they lose Interest in the providing spouse.

While some go into marriage due to societal pressure only to get in and realize they dont know what and why they are in the marriage. Or if marriage is actually for them.

If you want to understand the real meaning of marriage, study the life of Christ and his relationship with the Church ( the saints in the body of Christ). Until I find a man who understands this last point, Ill gladly remain unmarried. All we have these days are halfbaked men who know little or nothing about marriage.

What about half baked women?

Klass99:
I appreciate the education.



Lol , Kanwulia have you lost interest or did you lose it at any point? If yes, why? Pls enlighten a sista

We ALL lose interest in either the relationship/marriage situation or PERSONS involved. Very natural as people and conditions change.

There are many ways to lose interest in a relationship or a person because our needs keep changing.

You can lose interest in SEX with a person, but you are forced to stay in a relationship because of financial privileges or children.

Even after you leave a marriage or relationship, some doors remain open with the “exes”.

Interests may be rekindled at anytime,

pozehnani:
This can only happen When people don't understand what marriage is all about.

Most people see marriage as a medium to satisfy their sexual desires and that is why you see many men attracted and getting married to a lady because of her shape. When she goes out of shape, the Interest is gone.

Some see marriage as a means of survival. So when they become comfortable, they lose Interest in the providing spouse.

While some go into marriage due to societal pressure only to get in and realize they dont know what and why they are in the marriage. Or if marriage is actually for them.

If you want to understand the real meaning of marriage, study the life of Christ and his relationship with the Church ( the saints in the body of Christ). Until I find a man who understands this last point, Ill gladly remain unmarried. All we have these days are halfbaked men who know little or nothing about marriage.

I would have love to give ur comment 100% pass mark but the lady paragraph made me reduced ur mark to 29%

Shifting all blames on men for marriage failure I'd out of context and is showing type of wife you would be in marriage, in fact I salute the man you would end in his had house

Fiscus105:
I would have love to give ur comment 100% pass mark but the lady paragraph made me reduced ur mark to 29%

Shifting all blames on men for marriage failure I'd out of context and is showing type of wife you would be in marriage, in fact I salute the man you would end in his had house

I guess you don't know what to say because you're sounding so incoherent.
Be more coherent next time.

pozehnani:
I guess you don't know what to say because you're sounding so incoherent.
Be more coherent next time.

I repeat. I salute the poor man you would end in his house.

Thank God you have the mindset already that you would not marry until you see man like Jesus, in which you never see.
We know you people, woman like you end up as single mother.

Fiscus105:
I repeat. I salute the poor man my daughter would end in his house.

Thank God my daughter has the mindset already that she would not marry until she sees a man like Jesus, in which she will never see.
We know my daughter, a woman like her end up as single mother.

Amen.

Klass99:
You have a valid point about the cake baking business, as for Trump my favourite career blogger says - pay attention to the people you respect and the ones you do not respect, and try to figure out why.

In figuring out my why, I have learnt to avoid doing the things people I don't respect do (like Trump) While doing things people I respect do.

In a nutshell, you learn from everyone everywhere. Well, that's a good thing.

But you reminded me of what I have once read somewhere about how our brain works. When we tell ourselves or children not to do something (Don't eat chocolate./Don't smoke./Don't drink./Don't spend so much money./Don't nag.), our brain does not pay attention to the don't but the verb eat (chocolate), smoke, drink, spend, nag etc. and so we do exactly the thing we were trying to avoid. Instead we should be telling ourselves what to do, e.g. eat healthy/fruit/vegetables, you get the idea.

Mindlog can help here, I guess.

In other words, avoid the negatives or at least rephrase them into positives.

In the context of the thread and with reference to the guy you quoted, we could tell ourselves to speak words of affirmation to our spouse instead of telling ourselves 'don't nag' or 'I won't nag'.

Hathor5:
In a nutshell, you learn from everyone everywhere. Well, that's a good thing.

But you reminded me of what I have once read somewhere about how our brain works. When we tell ourselves or children not to do something (Don't eat chocolate./Don't smoke./Don't drink./Don't spend so much money./Don't nag.), our brain does not pay attention to the don't but the verb eat (chocolate), smoke, drink, spend, nag etc. and so we do exactly the thing we were trying to avoid. Instead we should be telling ourselves what to do, e.g. eat healthy/fruit/vegetables, you get the idea.

Mindlog can help here, I guess.

In other words, avoid the negatives or at least rephrase them into positives.

In the context of the thread and with reference to the guy you quoted, we could tell ourselves to speak words of affirmation to our spouse instead of telling ourselves 'don't nag' or 'I won't nag'.

You are right, rather than focusing on the "don't" redirect it to "do" because that is positive reinforcement, a poweeful behaviour modification technique.

Mindlog:
You are right, rather than focusing on the "don't" redirect it to "do" because that is positive reinforcement, a poweeful behaviour modification technique.

Thank you.

It helps to know how to talk to children too.

The only reason is because of lack of sex or the inadequacy thereof.

descarado:
Women actually lose interest more and quicker.

Always do your research well before you start what you can't finish.

I blame the Nigerian govt. Nothing to do after graduation

If that is the case, the number of cheating wives would have been on the increase.

Hathor5:
Thank you.

It helps to know how to talk to children too.

Regarding children, I am pushing towards that specialty!

Klass99:
Alright, I appreciate the feedback.

But, I can't wrap my head around losing interest in sex with someone whose head game is beyond excellent and whom I enjoy being with, in and out of bed. I still dey reason the matter for myself sha!

I'm not disputing what you said, my mind is just pondering on it, while reminiscing on time spent with that person in my preceding sentence. I figure several years of being married can do that to someone though.

After you get married, please come back and answer your own questions. Till then you can only keep “wondering”, or you can go and ask “Chioma Rowland Davido Adeleke” aka “From Assurance To ENDURANCE”!

You don’t need marriage to lose interest o. It is easier to fall OUT of LOVE or LUST than to fall in.

Shine your eyes well o!!!
Please, love and protect your self and heart!
Only care for those who care for you. As soon as they change, YOU CHANGE too.
Always be 10 steps ahead of any emotional or romantic gambit!✅✅✅

When you're not taking good care of your wife,you will loose interest.

KanwuliaExtra:
or you can go and ask “Chioma Rowland Davido Adeleke” aka “From Assurance To ENDURANCE”!

Madam Kanwulia this statemement was very funny, you no go kill person with laugh for NL.

Loool

Marriage is overrated... I will never get myself entagled in such bondage