₦airaland Forum

Eng. Tino:
GST
FIRST SEMESTER EXAM
answer all questions....dis paper wud last 4 2hrs only.
1. Tobi wanted 2 setup his gf 2 c if she was a cheat by plannin wif his best friend......1 month later, his best friend n gf sent him a weddin invitation.....describe tobi
a) God sent b)mumu c)learner

2. who are d 2 people dat shake hands when u switch on a nokia phone?

3.did adam and eve have navels?

4. which uni in naija has d highest numba of ladies using bb phones?

5.who ate d missing part of apple's logo?

6.if u pamper a cow, do u get spoilt milk?

7.if ada is a gal and obi z a boy, den wat is adaobi?

8.if a king is gay and marries another guy, who is d guy 2 d royal family?

9. what is d shape of d sky?

10.can a school teacher give a homeless child homework?

11.is a hot car cool or a cool car hot?

12.how can u hear urself think?

13.if quizzes are quizzical den what are tests?

14. if u try 2 fail and succeed, wat have u done?

15.why are buildings called buildings when dey are built, y arent dey called builts?

16.y do dey call things sent by ship 'cargo' n things sent by car 'shipment'?

SECTION B
write an essay of 1500 words on 'my oga @ d top'

bros neva go o. . .use dese ones take tie wrapper.
1. Y is water wet ?
2. Y is d sky blue ?
3. Y doesnt 1 + 1 = 3 ?

I hope u gt dem o. . .buh if u werent able, I will gv u d ansas.

GorgeousReney: 1 tin av noticed on dis thread is dat abt 90% of d pipz here lack 1 vry important tin in lyf.....CHARACTER.......der z no day dat passes dat u guyz dnt fyt..nd yet claim 2b 1 family.....
It's sumtymz funny watchin d e-fyts..........
but 1 tin still remainz.....
D VARIOUS E-FIGHTERS PORTRAY HOW DEY WERE ALL BROUGHT UP....LACK OF TRAINING AS IT SEEMZ.....ND I THINK IT'S A PROBLM 4RM HOME DAT NIDS 2B TACKLED.....

to be frank with u, dis ur post doesnt portray wat u intended. This post can ignite some kinda confusion here. . .nxt tym take an analysis of d situation b4 u post.

Seriously, ur post is really annoying lyk ur beta dan us or particularly dose wu av gotten into e-fights.

#_edited

Diamondwriter: boss 100 level be like mountain.u gat climb hard: just first semester and i wan die(GOD 4BID) but i hear say na 200level go really almost kill person.God dey! We dey wait 4 u

. . . Na wa o. Anyway sha make we just dey pray

Diamondwriter: I don't see why anyone should bother about cutoff(s). Lemme tell you something,last year i had friends who made the 'cutoffs' of their individual courses (in another school) or so they thought. When the admission list was released. They didn't get their courses.
Uniben have a good reason for not wanting to release cutoffs and theirs nothin any1 can do about it. I remember also that last year,a friend told me that someone told him that someone told him dat the deputy vc said that civil engr's cutoff was 55:i was happy.(i got d course at d end still) but i have coursemates that entered with 50;49.5...... So 4GET ABOUT THE CUTOFF MARKS YOU HEAR. Hapi striking

my man wetin dey happen 4 civil engr dept na ? Wetin I go dey read now. . .

[size=20]all of una need a weeks ban. . . thats d truth ! [/size]

madam: YOU ARE VERY $TUPID GIRL, YOUR IMAGINARY UNCLE THAT WORKS WITH THE VC BETTER GUARANTEE YOUR APPARENT ADMISSION, WHERE YOU FOOLISH ENOUGH TO REASON THAT NON ACADEMIC STAFF ARE OFF LIMITS TO OFFICIAL STUFFS LIKE, YOU ARE JUST A SENSLESS SHE-GOAT

u wicked o. . lol. . All these for only one person ?

korm2me: let me tell u,
1. Neither wil scoring hi in jamb will guarantee u hi pume score nor scorin low in jamb will Mk u score low.d pattern of questions of jamb n pume r diff.
2. Uniben works entirely wt aggregate irrespective of ur jamb or screenin score.
3. Medicine merit cut of last yr was 66. Edo 65.others got dia way in tru a fortuitous combination of luck. Apart frm dose frm educational less developed state. Being an Ibo guy ,DAT guy must hv gone in tru influence. DAT NT withstanding miracles happen Bt very rear.
4.b4 u compare two ppl DAT fare equally in aggregate score n one being admitted n d oda NT, u Av to conzida dia states of origin.

1. I disagree wit u. . .the question I saw in uniben pume was same wit jamb syllabus.

2. I agree wit u. . .u shud av told trafford. . He doesnt agree wit u. . He said dey consida bth pume and aggrega8.

3. Bro 4get cut off wey skul talk e. . . .na God fix some pipo cutoff.

4. lol. . .I knw dat. . .thanks bro.

Adex097: Lol..the "precious" in your name dey confuse person.

lol. . How na ?

Swagalord18: but her signature is -ban inviting

na wa o. . .me nor be girl ooooo. . . Shuo!

mickeyIso: dnt mind her.she's joking

My OGA u dream see girl ? Me na guy o

Swagalord18: hw com u can still say bye

me da B0SS . . .

Trafford: your claim seem so reasonable.. You're absolutely correct!






Nah...I'm just kidding

lemme let you in on something..your jamb score should Never.. I mean NEVER be a determinant of your admission...no, NEVER! It's primarily about your post ume score.

Okay, lemme give an example.. Last year, I got 243 in Jamb.. N I got a friend who got 218 or so.

You may say I got a higher chance of being admitted ..right?

But in postume..the guy got 66 n I got 56.

Mere looking at the scores..you may think I still got a higher chance..right?

But do the math, his aggregate was 60 n mine 58.

N you know what else? He was admitted in the Merit list to study LAW..while I got nothing..zero..nil.. Odo!

My dear, in the merit list esp.. Uniben n virtually every Uni looks at your postume score n your aggregate..n never your jamb score n aggregate.

that ur friend was admitted wit a score of 218 is not a yastic to say dat pipo wit low jamb score jst need do well in pume & dey will av their course. . dats wrong, absolutely!

wat I m stressin' is dis lets be natural. . . I sincerely wonda y someone wit a high jamb score wont do well in pume because u cant sincerely compare 213 wit 230. . Neva! Bro, ur friend might av d grace or he is lucky but wit 218 in unizik. . . .u are done for except u knw d VC or other top guys i guess dats y we love uniben cos dey do consider *winks*

if u noticed, i lyk saying unizik because it is nt always easy dere.

Bro one last thing. . . had it been more people wrote dis pume u shud av bin shivering at home cos many will av jst d same pume score wit u & jamb score counts then(e.g 212-229). . . . . Bro we are living in an imperfect world, somebdy wit 70 agrega8 might even find his/her name in 2nd batch while 53 fit even dey first batch. . .its God's Grace. I knw of someone who had 56 & he got medicine 4 first batch last yr, an ibo boy 4rm anambra... not wit runs o. .

. . .*clears throat* ur friend was admitted wit 218 and 60 agrega8 is nt a yastic to say dat others wit same 218 and 60 aggrega8 will be admitted dat same year. . .
#hope_i_nor_dey_disturb_?
#hehehe
#trafford_wan_follow_DEBATE_debate...hehehe

Monsieursuave: .

Anybody dat took dat advice Đíŝ year given d current situation is surely nt alryt!!

dnt say so. .

#_Olawalebabs just banned me! (m serious)
#_bye_guys!

Adex097: Jamb combined both first and second choice candidates. For example, I chose oau as my 1st and 2nd skul of choice, it would be counted twice in jamb stats but in OAU's stats, my name would appear just once.

my broda. . .wat ojingbe said is right! The final numba of pipo dat were eligible to write d pume of oau was 19k + and dat of uniben was 14k + . . .dont confuse urself with d combination of 1st and 2nd choice stats. . . Mass failure was announced in oau pume. . .

Trafford: Na wa o! So you guys mean you couldn't offer any form of entertainment while I watched from the sidelines for 72 whole hours...this is bad!


anyway..I see some New names here, y'all welcame


Ehnnn...Mr. Mod, I see your handiwork o! N I tell you...not everyone appreciates what you're doing here.. You just being a killjoy.. No offence

n now to the topic at hand.. Hehehehe, na only laff I fit laff. How can you say candidates stepped down cuz they didn't score up to 220 ? ehnnn ? U knw how many scored 199 n felt like tearing themselves apart? Then man manage enter 200 on the dot..then one person wey call himself 'educationist' go advise am to step down n he go follow..abi? Cuz he put jass for mouth! Even if na your papa sef, you go defy he words!

So that claim, my dear..is totally out!

BTW, I saw that on myschool as well..n I ignored it..cuz there's no way 2k+ would forfeit an exam 15k was eligible for.. No matter the reasons behind.. If e high well well... We should be talking of Hundred...let's say 500-700.

I no even know where that guy carry he stats from cuz Uniben no dey release such.

Ehhnnnn...what else so? where them Didi..n the rest? Them better show face now or else ehnnn..


n above all.... #16days to go

my broda. . . Stepping down wen u've below 220 in jamb is advised that is if u are going to federal university o. U get anybody for UNIZIK ? Go ask dem. . . No mata wetin u wan write for pume if u nor get lyk 240 for jamb notin 4 u. . . Dnt gt me wrong nt dat dey will penalise u 4 nt avin up to 220 o, d truth is dat people too plenty wey go blast pume coupled with deir gud jamb scores. Unlike dis year, almost 70k go come write unizik pume and u wey get below 220, i sorry for u. . . thats d truth because lyk 40k get 240 and above, shey u knw say unizik dnt go on strike ? For a couple of years now, dis deir first tym to go on strike.

Back to uniben & other federal uni. . . . It is advised cos almost 50k + wil write deir pume and ur chances is very minimal. . . Ask dose wu av written pume lyk twice in fed. uni its cos their jamb score low. . . .if u knw d pains of stayin at home for an extra year, u go respect ur self go delsu or any other state uni wey na below 220 plenty dere!

Monsieursuave: .

Still finding it difficult 2 understand Ʊя argument.

abeg how u take dey pronounce ur name ?

TohBeeQute: ehn na
oga 'una too funny'!
Why she no go funny o_0

haa. . . . D word nor funny u ? *nairalanders_*

Detivo: guy d name of d pple u see on dis thread ar d pple u wil see on dat dey of clearance. So stop asking nd start typing sumtin reasonable lyk ur screening score, jamb, course nd finali agg. So i can see if to fix ur name in d list

:->. . .shuo. . .we don quarrel b4 ?

Mickey7: no its 3013/3014 welcome to d future

hehehe. . .my guy check the last 10 pages. . .make u tell me the topic if na for admission stuff or na other tinz.. .#na_wa_

IVYKORAH: no. Its boko haram thread. Lol

una too funny. . .lol

Trafford: no, it's Uniben admission needle

lol

Is this UNIBEN ADMISSION THREAD 2013/2014 ?

Lordave: We are winning Spain believe it or not.

u must be dreaming. Spain will convert the super eagles' errors into goals and as well convert ur dream into nightmare. Make u take time o....we nor dey here for carry talk

Make NEPA go Die

ugogozi: Please help me check dis pleae 35060845JE

0nu 0gochukwu Gabriel
Institution: Enugu StateCollege Of Education (Tech.)Enugu Abakaliki Rd. P.M.B.01793, EnuguInstitution:Inst. Of Mgt. And Tech, Enugu
Institution: Enugu StateUniversity Of Science AndTechnology, Enugu
Course: NCE, BusinessEducation
Course: OND, MassCommunication
Faculty: Law/Legal Studies
Course: LL.B, Civil Law
REGISTRAR1. This Result isProvisional.2. You CANNOTuse this document for employment or admissionpurposes. For furtherdetails, please refer to JAMB
Course: NCE, BusinessEducation
Course: OND, MassCommunication
Faculty: Law/Legal Studies
Course: LL.B, Law
Aggregate= 136
Christian Rel. Know=31;Lit. in English=32;
Government=36;Use ofEnglish=37;

prisi002: please I'll really appreciate u help me check dis result. 36627230AH God bless you.

0lu-joseph Ayodeji Damilola

Course: NCE, Mathematics/Physics
Course: OND, MechanicalEngineering Technology
Faculty: Eng/Tech/Env.Design
Course: B.ENG., Mechanical Engineering

Aggregate = 192 Chemistry=54; Physics=41; Mathematics=44; Use of English=53;

All i can say is that we've got no striker. Ideye, musa, ujah even d oduamadi sef.....i dnt knw wat is happening. Musa is d most insulted but i guess without him we wouldnt have scored so many goals. Damn! that guy got pace...the spanish & uruguayans will surely be planning to nail him down! All i jst want keshi to do now, is to work on d strikers....they've lack accuracy, consistency & balance.

Deiok: Abeg make i fire my gen

u dey stay sapele ? Nepa don take light here too o

Nigeria.......in tr0uble.