₦airaland Forum

richdiamond:
moderation is the key my dear.

Moderation in exercise/body building for men? Yes of course. None of my coworkers were "Hulk status", but were ripped. They consumed high protein diets and hit the gym at least 4 times a week. I think the dedication was just as attractive as the muscle development. See I'm not shallow lol...

I know no one is perfect, but hearing the story of Ken Saro-Wiwa is what motivated me to adopt an activist mindset. If only all Nigerians could band together under one shared identity, we could conquer our social problems.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz1cE5O1eF4

richdiamond:
Are you sure?

I confess, I do not know how much guys weigh, I just guessed. Subtract like 10-15lbs from what I said and maybe that will be more accurate. I think my preferences are related to the fact that I used to work in a gym and many of my male coworkers were amateur body builders. I guess the average guy is smaller than them, which is perfectly fine.

dapsy4u2:
Hmmm

Lol is this unrealistic?

I'm not picky but I can't help being attracted to bigger guys, since I'm pretty athletic myself. I do not like extremes e.g. obese, too thin, or too muscular. Perfect male body would be 5'8-6' tall, 170-215lbs. If you like someone enough, you should be flexible in your preferences.

kilokeys:
the guy and girl i see here are whites..

we africans have our africanized problems.

many of those rules dont work here..

she would rather die than do those.
then hate u afterwards when u find somebody else

You sound a bit cynical. I agree some of these may seem to be out of a fantasy/fairy tale but, it's cute I guess. I like the direct approach, but some like to play the game of cat and mouse.

Your girlfriend has an inappropriate affect (very common). Sometimes when people are so happy they are overcome with emotions and cry. The stranger occurrence is when people laugh at funerals or other sad events. Although you have kissed 5 times, maybe she is still getting accustomed to having someone showing her affection. Her happiness translates to tears because you embody the realization of her dream of finding true love. In my opinion 2 weeks is very soon to be considered "love", but I guess only you two would know.

dapsy4u2:
.U have a mail.

Replied...

dapsy4u2:
Really hope this wont affect your relationship when you finally get into one, as you'll think it's outside the norm to kiss, hug or say "i love you".

I think I'll function normally, I just need to meet a guy who is affectionate so that my actions are reciprocated.

andromida:
I think you should date all the guys that come your way get to know them and see what they have to offer keep an open mind in the dating world although the physical attraction is important be open to being surprised.

I appreciate your advice, but dating is very difficult in this area. I live in a small-ish town with close-minded people of a different race. I will be stuck in this town for another 3 years. I do not want to waste 3 years of my life being alone, so I thought I would use my resources to consider other forms of dating during these next few years.

dapsy4u2:
Why not get advice(s) from older relatives if you can reach out to your parents or older siblings. then take it from there. rather than exposing yourself to the dangers of online dating.

I am an only child and my extended family is very conservative. I never got "the birds and bees talk"; I learned from my friends. I have never seen anyone in my family kiss. Hugging is not very common either. No one in my family has ever told me that they love me. I feel like I was not exposed to this world, and I am trying to take a proactive step towards understanding how courtship/dating works.

LEAFLET:
You are a pretty girl..You look african though!

I am Nigerian...I thought this site was for Nigerians lol.

oseiwe:
The guy online might also be promiscuous and alcoholic too. There are good people everywhere, start from your college.

You have a point. I will just hangout in the gym and and wear high heels in the library lol. The thing that frustrates me is that my roommate is obese and not very friendly and still has a boyfriend. I do not know what I am doing wrong.

LEAFLET:
What do you mean make fun of you?..You are funny!

I don't know, maybe they will say that I should not be online, talking to strangers about how to improve my love life or lack thereof. I posted a picture, I guess anyone can see how hideous I am now...Oh well I will take it down soon.

LEAFLET:
If you can't help the one you truly love with financial means in any small way you can when He's in need then It's not love...I am not saying you shouldn't be wise..I am just saying that you should be able to support the one you love in any way you can,It takes time to trust someone you've not met people but I've seen people that met online and later got married..One of my aunty is a living proof..Besides you can upload your photos so we can at least see how you look..That's not too much to ask..

I'm a poor college student.

Yeah, I mean at this point I just need practice as far as talking to guys. I feel like my interests might not be in the "mainstream". I am afraid to post my picture on this site, what if my family sees it and makes fun of me lol.

In my mind one of the things that Nigerians have always had is a sense of chastity, albeit a few mistakes here and there. I feel that the West is too sexual and this is leading to a lack of moral character in society. People just do whatever they want and still claim to be Christians/followers of Jesus Christ. Although trends may be set by the West, I beg you to not blindly follow along with the excuse that "everyone is doing it". Flee this immorality and pray that God will give you the strength to avoid such situations where any temptation is present. Women and men have different chemicals that are released during intercourse. What you perceive as some "fun" or experience, she views as a sign that you love her because of the bonding hormone oxytocin. Just marry your girlfriend if you know you will fall into sin with the other woman.

oseiwe:
How can you call someone who is athletically fit as skinny?
It's like you don't like six packs!
Traditionally, start off as friends, then decide if you wanna continue but meeting people socially in real life is far better than e-love. I know what my brothers can do.

Sorry if I offended you, the guy was just skinny though, no muscle. I prefer that my potential mate be able to easily carry me to safety if I faint during a fire lol. Meeting people in person does not happen anymore, unless through mutual friends. I just moved to a new town and it's hard to meet people who are not alcoholic or promiscuous.

jmoore:
Don't pay him for any stuff and you won't be a victim.

I asked those questions to see what the dating climate is like and to get an idea about whether anyone would ever be interested in me. I just feel like I missed the opportunity to date because studying and doing well in school is my priority. As far as being scammed, I would hate for someone to lie to me about their lives or personal values. I would never send money to a stranger, just a Christmas card and cookies lol.

Tymax:
On second thought, you could come visiting. Many fun places here plus you'd get to meet your guy in person.

I don't advice distance relationship. Too much wahala.

The last time I went back home I was 14 and things were pretty safe, I did not want to leave. I am a bit worried about my safety now. Where are the hangout spots for young, God-fearing, singles?

I met an exchange student from Nigeria. He had previously studied in the UK and I found him really nice to talk to. Unfortunately, I was just not attracted to him because he was so tall and skinny, like 6'3 (191 cm) and 180 pounds(82 kg) if that. I'm 5'5 (165cm) so it was like being in the presence of a giant. Am I too shallow?

oseiwe:
Go outside and socialise in your geographical location, you will either find the kind of man you want or the man that wants your kind will find you.
Keep away from overseas dating!

Most guys are either married, gay or racist lol. Dating someone from back home is just another option I am considering. Everyone seems so skinny though . The problem I have is that the guys here expect a "test-drive" and I prefer a more traditional course.

I figure I can also meet new people on here and catch up on current events.

Over the last few years I have come to the conclusion that I would like to marry a Nigerian or at least an African man. I love the good manners, work-ethic, intelligence, and family values that we are known for. Can you guys and girls offer me advice about how to initiate things or even if this is realistic? I come from a very conservative family where dating was not spoken about, so I am clueless about how Nigerians back home conduct their love lives. I attached a picture of what my area looks like.

1. Is it hard for Christian women in their early to mid-20s to date?
2. Are people still waiting until they're married to engage in intercourse?
3. What does the average Nigerian guy find attractive? (I know tastes vary, but a good height, weight, other attributes of personal appearance)
4. Life abroad can be very hard without having a degree or profession that can transfer. Are most professional men married? If not where can I meet a medical/engineering student?

I welcome all comments, thanks in advance.