₦airaland Forum

TBoss - Big Brother, if I get to win this game, you must come out and I will give you a kiss

The massage was a night before the actual incident. So, she was referring to it that maybe cos she asked for a massage the night before topless, that Kemen just assumed she had given him a green light, but No, she hadn't.

mira4u:
That means she wasn't really aware of what happened cos she slept off while he was still massaging her body? I am not getting this.

It wasn't shown to the viewers, but it was shown to them. Though, they had technical issues or it was breaking cos they mentioned if it could be replayed, but the woman just explained the video to them, that Biggie may have a reason for that.

Donbabajay12:
Was the Video shown please ??

They had technical issues. They said it was breaking...so, the woman had to explain more. Even though TBoss too requested that they replayed, but the woman said maybe it was purposely done that way.
But I have a question. TBoss noticed something was moving in her pant, she then raised the blanket up and checked before moving away, I just thought she should have raised alarm at that point, but the story is being painted as if she was asleep, and turned away when she noticed something moving.

Two things are involved.
Either Kemen moved closer to her again, as seen in the video, after she turned but had withdrawn his hand or stopped the movement, cos she was claiming maybe he continued after then.
Or he continued; But if he continued immediately, someone who turns over on a bed is half-conscious and will definitely notice the movement.

But TBoss didn't say she raised the blanket to check. She just said she turned away from her sleep.

So, only God knows the clear picture...all is well.

guardsman:
d video shown & described by big brother to d HMs is d same one online.
Weak evidence by Biggie.
Stewpid f*cking Roma/Gypsy version of Delilah has ruined someone's career. Tbos ooouuuuutt!

Bally, Bisola, Efe, TBoss in one group
TTT, Marvis, Bassey, Debie in another group

Task Brief.

There'll be a fun competition. A game of monopoly. HM's to be divided into 2, and play against each other in each group. The 2 winners from each group will play against the other 2. Till the winner(s) emerge(s).
Though most of them are saying they don't know how to play

Debie has started again o. Pls, leave Efe alone. See her sitting on him, he wants to stand up, she's pushing him back...what's this really?

Lastly, they do the "consent is sexy " pledge...

...
That consent should be voluntary, given without intimidation, pressure or fear...
That they'll always respect their partner's choice.
...



They're all asked to describe their mood now...
Generally uplifted, appreciative, hopeful, enlightened...

TBoss shouts out to Biggie for organising this, says she knows what she's talking about(A confirmation again that it was cos of Sunday's incident, especially cos of TBoss), so they came solely cos of this, if not, they'll have done so in the first week...
*The End*


All HM's are asked to go to the garden and close the front doors.

Sexy is when you love being you.
Sexy is when your body feels right because you are comfortable.

Why is consent sexy?
HM's answers
-Safety + consent = freedom to explore, express oneself, completely be yourself, confidence.
-Consent builds understanding and takes one deeper
-Because it shows maturity(cerebral...then, the woman says kidney cos she was told earlier that they call brain kidney, and they all wowed, so she wrote kidney maturity)
-cos it makes you always stay free
-cos that's the ultimate respect you can have for your partner

What do you find sexy or not sexy?

Generous, enthusiastic, confident, vain, uptight, arrogant, critical, dogmatic, self centred, creative, cool, happy, easy to be with, respectful, cruel, open, mean, able to listen, honest, dishonest, shut down etc


TTT says being self-centerd is sexy. I wonder less...

Some Myths.

Myth 1.
That No may mean ' maybe ' No but No should mean No.

Myth 2.
It is natural for women to be sexually submissive, silent, positive and for men to be sexually demanding, dominant and in control(Are you man enough)

Myth 3.
Wearing revealing cloths means you want sex

Myth 4.
You can't be raped by someone you know or are into

Myth 6.
If the perpetrator is under the influence of drugs and alcohol, he won't be guilty

Others.
Women like to be harassed
Only menn sexually harass, sexual assault and rape.
It is unreasonable to expect a man to stop after pre-intimacy

The black lady will be leaving soon, after the break, she wants to go and pick her child. They're on break now...

Chai...TTT don dey flatter o. Na him talk pass...Na wa..Woo her well

Chai...These HMs been lying and praising TBoss whereas almost all of them don't like her. They'll still go into that room to nominate her, and backbite about her, though they all do the same to one another. I fear humans

They are giving some words of honour, to apologise and move past.

Bassey, Debie will punch your face today. When you were apologising earlier, you still repeated that TBoss is attractive to you, now again, you mentioned "beautiful"...

Just as Debie maintained a straight face yesterday after Bassey was saying all sexy stuffs about the female ninja yesterday, Bassey will surely be in trouble today. Even though she doesn't know he didn't pick her in the diary room, but TBosd It's obvious it's TBoss he likes. BB, let's see the romance task pairing o...

TBoss says she feels like punching someone just to relieve herself. And she says she just wants it to end today, cos tomorrow is her birthday, another new year of her life.
She says she's still angry because they judged her. She was almost breaking down, then she says she wants to use the restroom. And they went on break.

The woman said the exercise they did earlier with most of them having experienced some of them, was for TBoss to make her decision whether she trusts them enough to show the them the video. And cos most of them were transparent enough, she decided that the video be shown.
So, the woman asked them to say their mind.

Bisola asked for forgiveness.

TTT also did same, but said he doesn't have the right words yet, so he'll call her later and discuss with her(hahahahaha)

Bassey said he joined the bandwagon to judge her(hmmmm...That's not fair to others); that he was the one that told others that they have to go and apologize immediately and not later(was that necessary, just to take credit?). He also apologises again, that maybe their general apology was dramatic(Bassey o, you misyarned today).

Bally said some people were quick to being judgemental that very day(Is that necessary? Is it bad generalising and just saying Sorry). He also apologises.

Marvis says she can't put herself into words right now, that she's totally apologetic.

Debie says she can completely relate to the story as a victim and can imagine. Says she wants to relate to the Bible about Love, that TBoss should forgive and the HMs too.

Efe says he learns from the perpetrator that a guy should be more conscious, more self-controlled. He says he's sorry on behalf of everyone, for judging wrongly. He says even as a guy, he is usually very careful as being assaulted. And believes she's accepted the apology for being able to allow them to see the video.

TBoss said she hasn't moved past it, but she's just dealing with it. Someone asked if she feels dirty, and that she thinks so cos she started cleaning things around her.

The woman comes in that she can understand that violation is quite sticky and one will want to wash it out.

You don't get me. My point is they were there cos of that issue, to enlighten them more. She said it, that they had to come in after Sunday's incident, not that they've not been having that workshop all around before now.

I think this should have been a lecture in the first week, not now. If not cos of what happened and the persecution BBN is receiving right now, they won't come in this way.

100naira:
@Princesskab the Chinese/British woman just confirmed that the workshop was already planned before the unfortunate incident occurred so they decided to focus on it.

Though, to be honest, the woman said the video was cutting.

TBoss said she had some pains all over her body. That she actually asked him to give her a massage. She says she has never given Kemen an approval for such. And that maybe because she walked up to the room topless. She's almost crying, she now said it seems he continued after that. That if she knew, she'd have slapped him and brought the whole house down, even if she was disqualified

The women said from what they explained, that being flirtatious or walking around naked doesn't guarantee consent.

They're asked to speak in respect to that video...

Bisola says they are adults and everything that happens must have gone through a throught process, and they are all responsible for such actions. She feels what happened was a bad one..But if she was in the perpetrator's shoes, she would just take responsibility, apologise and make amends in life.

Bally says it's quite unfortunate cos they've been together for so long. He said looking at the pyramid, such action was just a step away from rape. That they should just reflect on what they saw and be better people.

TTT says it takes him to week one when they introduced themselves and now they are a family. He said from the video, what if there were no cameras around? If it was outside(not knowing the video is out already), it could lead to death. From the video, it looked as if Kemen wasn't sleeping all along.

The woman asks them to take deep breaths. Efe steps out to use the restroom

While they wait for the video to come up,

There's a pyramid of sexual violence, that it's not only rape that's involved, sexual ingenuity...
The pyramid starts with some attitudes/beliefs which can lead to sexism to invasion of space to unwanted physical touch to unwanted sexual touch to rape, then finally to death...

A Ninja comes in and is gone. Theyre watching the video now. The woman says it's for openness and not judging

They mentioned that something happened in the BB house(on Saturday/Sunday). And they wanna show the video now and that the audience will not see it, just to clear the air(I think Kemen's video).


Like I mentioned earlier and some people started flaring that I was misinforming. It was obviously cos of Kemen's issue, I hope they've confirmed now!

Possible non verbal signs of non-consent.

Direct eye contact
Closed tense body language
Turning away from someone
Avoiding touch
Whimpering or crying
Loose and open arms and legs
Looking sad or fearful
Open, relaxed body language(the other person will need to clarify)
Laughter and smiling(the person will need to clarify)
Tense facial expression (clarify)
Active body(clarify)
Initiating sexual activity
Etc

There are verbal and non-verbal consent, but one must be sure or clarify and not assume

Official(Not Consent)
-Silence or not responding
-Lack of physical resistance
-A coarse or pressured Yes
-Confused or unclear communication


-Drunk or drink
-Revealing dress

The woman asked the HMs the opposite of consent, to show the the person isn't giving consent.
-Body language (flinching)
-Refusal (Outright/Subtle)
-Silence
-"I think we should just be friends" / "You're like a brother to me)
-Coersion

Pls, tune or log in. It's a lecture-proper. I can't update all.

What is consent?
-Enthusiastically wanted.
-Mutually agreed.
-Informed.
-Freely given....

They're back from break. The white woman emphasised again that if someone wants or doesn't want to say anything, he/she shouldn't be forced to.
She asks the HM's what they know about consent. Bisola, TBoss and Bally spoke.
Then the white woman asked them as related to sexual activities.
HM's reply:
-No assumptions
-proper communication
- always ask and clarify cos the other person can say Yes to one thing, but No to another.

Still having pizza at the dining table. The black woman said she doesn't speak Yoruba, but understands pidgin a bit. I remember the white woman is half British also, said it earlier, but she spent most of her times in Kenya and Botswana.

Haba! They both moved at some points, twice...different times, maybe yiu didn't notice...

dominique:
At least he's better than Debbie and Efe that didn't take part at all. Both stayed put all through.So they've never approached or been approached inappropriately before

Talking about consent, after the woman asked some series of questions as regards being victims or perpetrators, outta ignorance or not, mild or serious, against their wish or the other partner's, though didn't ask direct questions(generalised, and wasn't specific whether sex, kiss or) which some of them agreed to...
Some of them said most of the stuffs they're guilty for were done when they were much younger and outta ignorance. Along the line, TTT referred to the "Truth or Dare" games(when the woman referred to ignorance of forcing people on some games against their will)...

They are on break now, pizza break, and they're taking the guests around the house to see.

They'll be speaking for 4 hrs, so it's gonna be a long day. It'll be better you tune in or watch online, this one na long lecture and I can't update as much, may not be available all through, though there'll be 2 breaks in between, there'll be pizza though...

The HMs are asked to give a brief description of themselves by saying their name, describing their mood using the weather, and their dream/aspiration aside winning BB.
Bassey. 27. Wants to be an Aids broadcaster, aside being an Actor.
TBoss says she's 22, oh sorry, 32(She made a mistake). Her mood today is moody. She wants to have a TV show.
Bally, 28. His weather today is clear, in a good mood but nothing special. His dream is to win(Didn't hear the rest)
Marvis, 26. Rain + rainbow(Insatiable, Hot). Dream - Feeding people by making them comfortable, to make people around her happy.
TTT. 36. Rainy. (Didn't hear his', but I think it's about production)
Efe. All weather(Says he goes as it comes); though it's kinda Unclear cos he lost something special to him today-I think he's looking for his rosary, but says he's still cheerful. Want to be an inspiration to people, especially those that come from where he comes from, cos making it is difficult for people who come from there)
Bisola 31 sunny + cloudy. Mixed emotions. Dream - Learning how to become a good film producer and director.
Debie. sunny + rainy. Mixed feelings. Dream - to be able to win a Grammy award, want to give young girls a platform of being creative.

They came with whiteboards. They've come to speak about "Consent is Sexy", a campaign on Sexual Desires Awareness (I suspect they brought this cos of Kemen's scandal).
That they know they've been in the house for some time, and they'll have feelings for eachother, but they want to enlighten them on the confidence to handle their sexual desires.