Family › Re: Should I Marry This Man? by pureview: 10:08am On Jul 30, 2016 |
ank you very much. Your brilliance shines through. I shudder at the hypocrisy and double standard Nigerians exhibit daily. This lady is a rare gem and no man or woman should tell her otherwise. Seeing her brilliance and personality made my day. It was nice knowing that my motherland still breeds classy ladies. devvland: FLAW. How is she flawed? Because she knows her worth and wishes to valued for it? Because she speaks her mind? Because she seems to insist to be treated right? Because she sounds intelligent and has presented and marshalled her thoughts with unerring precision? If you love those qualities you wouldn't be so quick to assume they would easily degenerate to FLAWS.
We admire brilliance from a distance. We hate to have it stand next to us cos it shines bright and illuminates all our own flaws, inadequacies and pretences.
If that lady was a man nobody would call her flawed. In fact everybody here would be admiring her level headedness. But we have such double standards...that confidence and self-esteem (the cardinal traits for strong human personality) are a flaw in a woman. Funny thing is we don't even see that our perception is flawed. It's a shame. |
Family › Re: Should I Marry This Man? by pureview: 7:29am On Jul 30, 2016 |
I have read through your write up and I can deduce that both you and your fiance are medical students.
I have been in your shoes though in an entirely different circumstance. But I will give you some straight up advice.
1. The family is just worried that after training their child throug Medschool that it is wrong for him to come out and dabble into marriage without giving back to the family that made him.
You and your fiance have been through too many tough times that its difficult to see yourself with any other person but him . I bet he's even the love of your life.
Two things I don't know is how young or old this your man is .
But my advice to you is this :
DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN , HE HAS A LOT OF BAGGAGE.
The family is already attacking you because they think you are pushing their son to marry at an early stage when he's not prepared.
Most people think Doctors have loads of cash , which isn't necessarily true. so when you marry him and he's not dolling out the cash as they expect, you are immediately accused as the cause and culprit.
My advice , you are young. you will definitely find a better prepared man by the time you start your housemanship who would adore you and whose family will worship your intelligence and not feel threatened by it.
Marriage is a lifetime journey , you don't have to go through life avoiding your in-laws. Marriage is better than that.
In time you will find out that love is not everything , life is more complex than that. I understand your fears , I was once in your shoes. you would definitely find another love.
problem is how do you go about it , medschool is a very narrow society once you graduate you would see the world is a better place. I'm telling you this because I can already tell that you are a very intelligent girl who has the brains and poise to attract the best man to herself.
only an insecure man cannot see that you are a treasure.
My advice , stop trying to be the super hero , you can't fix your boo's family problems cos automatically the family sees u as their new problem.
gradually start withdrawal from him now , start hinting him that this marriage thing might not work as your family is not supportive and his isn't too.
Tell him you can never enter a marriage without the blessings of both parents. let him understand that the problem is not him that you love him more than everything but also your family is everything to you.
Don't stop the relationship overnight cos it might break him down cos you people have come a long way.
The truth is that your fiancee has to invest back at least for 2 years on his family before settling downI made similar decision several years ago and I'm happy I did. today she's happily married and so am I . we are still very good friends who appreciate the roles we played in each other's life when we were younger.
Be strong and take the bold steps , please don't break his heart. gradually disentangle all the covalent bond holding the relationship together , in time distance of housemanship or youth service might take its toll on the relationship and it will give way.
On the flipside it might survive it all and you guys might end up together when it is right.
Just step back a bit and with time it will become clearer , no need for the rush.
sorry for the long epistle , I hope it helps .
God's grace. |
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Family › Re: Help!!..did I Marry The Wrong Lady? by pureview: 3:38am On Feb 18, 2016 |
yemi16: Thanks dear...for the first time i am seeing an unbiased advice from a lady.....and i really appreciate ur sincerity and openness...before doing option 1 and 2, i'd try todo 3 first... I hardly ever comment on nl but I had to do this to stop you from making a mistake. please,please ,please , do not invite a 3rd party into your marriage. It is the first step in bringing cracks into your marriage. Your pastor at this point is a 3rd party. This issue isn't something you can't handle. I guarantee you that you would lose some respect from your wife if you invite a 3rd party on this issue just 6 months into your marriage. In the early stages of any r/ship or marriage , women tend to push the boundaries to know the extent of what a man can take. I believe you have been too soft on her so she now throws tantrums and acts up. Bro , this is the time to be firm without being harsh. The ground rules you lay now will most likely guide your family from now on. It seems you are the one that always go begging when you guys fight , STOP it, it's not healthy as it can be used as a tool to manipulate you. Ignore her for now so she would know that this issue is very important to you and hence non negotiable. when she gets tired of sulking and eventually comes around , let her know how dissapointed you are about her attitude and warn her you wouldn't want that to happen again. This is the time to be the man, husband and leader and not outsourcing your job to your pastor. If she is truly a decent lady , she would eventually appreciate you the more for being the man and showing leadership. |
Politics › Re: Ministerial Nominee, Anthony Anwukah, Was Convicted By High Court For Corruption by pureview: 9:14pm On Oct 18, 2015*. Modified: 8:36pm On Oct 19, 2015 |
It's all part of the change. |
Politics › Re: Police Seal Up 22 Rivers LG Secretariat On Orders From IG by pureview: 3:11am On Jul 11, 2015 |
.... |
Politics › Re: Fg's None Oil Revenues Exceeds Oil Earnings In Month Of April by pureview: 9:05am On Jun 25, 2015 |
This is a good development. Building a non-oil based economy is the way to go.
We pray for the return of the groundnut pyramids, the palm oil plantations , the rubber plantations and stable power supply to drive the small scale industries and to stimulate an industrial revolution.
Nigeria shall be great again. |
Travel › Re: Ghanian Orthopaedic Surgeon Blasts Spanish Ambassador For Denying Him Visa by pureview(op): 11:05pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
The Deputy Head of Mission
Embassy of Spain
Accra, Ghana
26th April 2015
Dear Sir:
I applied for a short-term visa to attend a medical conference in Barcelona from 26th April to 29th April 2015 and by your response dated 22nd April 2015 I had been denied an entry visa to your country. As was written in your rejection letter, I have an option of lodging a contentious-administrative appeal at the High Court of Justice of Madrid (Spain) within a two-month deadline counting from the date of serving. Since it is nigh impossible for me to get myself to Madrid and lodge my appeal I have decided to personally write to you for some clarification.
The reasons for denying me an entry visa were that the information regarding the justification for the purpose and conditions of the intended stay was not reliable and also that my intention to leave your country before the expiry of the visa could not be ascertained.
I know it is your prerogative to decide whom to grant a visa to but I feel personally insulted for the reasons you have given for the denial.
I am a highly trained orthopedic surgeon with specialty interest in orthopedic sports medicine and complex joint reconstruction. I have been a doctor for the past 20yrs. My current positions are:
Consultant Orthopedic Surgeon at the KorleBu Teaching Hospital. Lecturer at the University of Ghana Medical School Fellow of the West African College of Surgeons Consultant for West Africa Rescue Association WARA. (I treat patients from the expatriate and diplomatic community including quite a number from Spain) I am sure if you were to injure yourself, am the most likely surgeon that you will be referred to.
I have attended medical conferences in Germany, Switzerland, South Africa, Japan, Canada, USA and Norway. Incidentally all these countries found my purpose for travelling justifiable except you. The letter of invitation I presented to you was written by a renowned surgeon in Madrid who trained in the same institution as I did in the United States. But I guess you did not find a letter written by such a person credible enough.
I find it laughable that you think I will not return to Ghana and end up as an illegal immigrant in Spain where people of my skin tone are treated as second-class citizens. I have a wife and children whom I do not intend to abandon. Although I do not consider myself wealthy, I am very comfortable economically and have investments in property and other assets in Ghana. How did you ever come to the conclusion that I was a flight risk?
May I kindly remind you of some basic facts about your country?
The unemployment rate in Spain presently is 25% and youth unemployment tops 50%. Why will I leave a stable job and to go and join the unemployment ranks in your country. From January 2009 to end of 2013, 400,000 Spaniards emigrated to look for work outside of your country. And this is expected to rise in the coming years. Doctors in Spain are the least/worst paid in the whole Euro zone. Why will I want to go work in a country where my counterparts are leaving in droves for economic reasons? In the year 2012, it is on record that 2405 medical doctors applied for certification to work abroad, according to The Medical Spanish Association – a 75% increase compared with 2011. 83% of doctors seek jobs in Europe (mainly the UK and France) and 7% America. In 2009, the Health Ministry warned that there was a shortage and that the country needed around 3,200 more doctors. By 2025, at the present rate the shortfall will be around 25,000. The Spanish government has talked of increasing the number of university and medical school places, as well as making it easier for overseas personnel to work here.
Sir, as a representative of the country of Spain you have failed woefully in your responsibility to promote the interest of your country by denying me a visa. My skill, knowledge and experience will be invaluable to the Spanish people even if I decided not to come back to Ghana. Furthermore, my budget for this conference topped € 5000. This is the amount of money that would have been injected into the Spanish economy in a week. Can you imagine the economic loss if all the doctors from all over the world attending this conference were denied entry into Spain? I was due to present two papers and since I was not able to go I have informed the conveners of the conference of my inability to attend. This is an international conference and can you imagine the embarrassment your compatriot doctors will feel when it is announced that I could not present my scientific papers because you denied me a visa? Never mind that I cannot get a full refund for my ticket and my total booking for the hotel is not refundable.
Given the reason for visa rejection, a detailed explanation on which aspects of my application did not provide sufficient evidence that I will return to Ghana is most welcome. I am particularly curious to know of the lofty economic standards set for Ghanaians to visit to Spain when Spaniards themselves barely meet these standards.
Yours truly,
Dr. Agbeko Ocloo MB.ChB FWACS
Consultant Orthopaedic Surgeon
Cc:
The Ambassador
Embassy of Spain
Accra, Ghana
http://www.myjoyonline.com/news/2015/June-1st/surgeon-writes-angry-letter-to-spanish-ambassador.php |
Travel › Ghanian Orthopaedic Surgeon Blasts Spanish Ambassador For Denying Him Visa by pureview(op): 11:03pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
A Consultant Orthopedic Surgeon at the KorleBu Teaching Hospital, Dr. Agbeko Ocloo, has written to the Spanish Ambassador protesting the refusal of a visa to him without proper justification.
Dr. Ocloo feels insulted at the suggestion that he would not return to Ghana if he was granted the visa.
He said he is too comfortable with modest investments and will never leave all of that to go live in Spain. It is not even in his contemplation, he added.
Read the full letter below: |
Health › Re: Rape Of Medical Laboratory Science Profession by pureview: 10:40pm On Feb 09, 2015 |
clueless |
Health › Re: NMA On Assualt/attack Of Doctors At Their Duty Post by pureview: 8:02pm On Feb 01, 2015 |
I'm surprised this thread is still in the 1st page till now. oh-oh, I just realized they are not doctors.
If they were doctors now, we would be in the 5th page by now with comments like, wicked doctors, heartless doctors, evil doctors, they forgot they swore an oath , God go punish all of them e.t.c.
Now because it is JOHESU that is putting up this condemnable act, nobody is willing to call a spade a spade. |
Politics › Re: FG To Prevent APC From Forming Parallel Government by pureview: 10:03am On Jan 27, 2015*. Modified: 10:49pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
sirajdinsaudi: So what FG is saying is that elections will be rigged and APC will be prevented from forming parallel government? If APC failed to form parallel government if the election is rigged then we the Nigerians might adopt Bokina Faso solution.This same FG made sure the lawyers called off their strike because of Buhari and failed to convince the Doctors to do so.If Jonathan will win(God forbid)let him win convincingly, else the government is calling for another wéti é.Simple. |
Politics › Re: INEC: Jega And His Commissioners In A Shouting Contest by pureview: 6:16am On Jan 27, 2015*. Modified: 10:51pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
Time will tell |
Politics › Re: Fashola, Tinubu Begs Igbo For Support. Pics by pureview: 11:43am On Jan 25, 2015 |
mamajohn: We need ourselves, we can't do without each other. In my family for instance the Hausa guy Mallam Rabiu and Saliu supplies our foods like tomatoes, yam, beans, potato etc, they brings it directly to our door step such we have become like family members, The Yoruba guy has been a good home teacher to my kids that they saw him as their brother, he enters our house anytime he like, the Ibo guys at Ilesha Garage, Boss, Emeka and Emalex supplies parts for our vehicles, our mechanic is Igala from Kogi, my boss in office is Iboman from Delta State, my husband's official driver is a jovial Yoruba man from Shaki. These are very great guys, friendly. No ethnicity, no religious sentiment, we operate as one happy family. Friends, this is Nigeria. We love ourselves, its politicians who use sentiments to divide us for their selfish interest, GEJ is my brother, I love him as a person but don't like his style of administration, I will vote against him, that is democracy. Buhari is a Fulani man, he is our brother, I will vote for him because in a democracy we have freedom of choices, Nigeria is one great and united nation under God, let us live with ourselves with peace, love and unity, happy Sunday. Your write up sounds pleasant to the ears but it's not realistic. At best, it can be described as idealistic. Too bad we don't live in an ideal world. The igbos learnt a lot of lessons from the civil war, for this reason they now play what I choose to call "tooth for tat politics" . this is because the core north ( north west and north east) will always vote along ethnic and religious lines. bring out Boko haram shekau today and they would vote him in preference to a yoruba Christian. For this reason, many igbos whose opinion I have sampled have insisted they would not vote Buhari, these sentiments are even worse in the grassroots. so watch out when the presidential result is released, Buhari can hardly get 25% in any southeast state, and please don't let the crowds you see in those political rallies form your opinion. |
Politics › Re: 2015 Presidential Election:States Jonathan Would Win Convincingly by pureview: 8:47pm On Jan 22, 2015*. Modified: 10:53pm On Jun 04, 2015 |
idumuose: If you can put sentiments aside,okorocha cannot and will never deliver APC to/for Buhari. Imo indigenes on nairaland will bear witness with me. Buhari should celebrate it it if he gets up to 10% of votes here. majority of imo people love owelle save for the elites who feels he practices"familytocracy" but the common man on the street love him so rochas would certainly win. as for Buhari, he can't get up to 25% of votes in any southeast state. take that front me, many people believe Jonathan has not done well but they do not see Buhari as a better alternative, consequently there would be a lot of voter apathy but Jonathan will win clearly in all southeast states. And not to mention the ethno~religious sentiments that play a huge role in 9ja politics even though we like to deny it. |