₦airaland Forum

Thanks ma I will work things out just as u adviced

chaircover:
@poster have a seat, go and get your wedding photo album and look at the photos one by one.
Take a good look at your wedding ring
Take a good look at your son and look at the similarities between your son and your husband. Even if they dont have facial similariites I am sure that there are behavoural similiarites.

Now be brutally honest to yourself and say, this is my life now. The ex is the ex and this is the present and the future. There is no going back.

Begin to love your husband and begin to give him a chance. You chose him. No one forced you. Even if he does good, you cant see it now becasue you are always comparing. No 2 people are the same, talk less of 2 different relationships being the same.

As regards current issues with your hubby, table them, talk to him and let him know what you want. Men are not mindreaders and magicians and Rome was not built in a day. Some people are lucky, they marry a ready made soup and some people are not so lucky and they have to prepare their soup from scratch.
Teach him what you want him to do in the bedroom. If its technique, then tell him and explain to him what you want him to do in bed, if its size then use an extender, if its ED go see a doctor and if its PE google is your friend QED! There is nothing new under the sun.
There is another thread where a man has had ED since january. Work together! Its when you hear other peoples stories that you will know that you are not the only one going through challenging times.

Re emotion & romance, teach by example. Not all men are lovey lovey touchy touchy. . . so SHOW him what you want him to do by doing it. Dont just keep on saying that he doesnt do this or that. We all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences and that is what moulds people and some people are not deliberatly being wicked . . its that they dont know any better, so you need to teach them.

You have said that he is a good man & has a good heart. . . .My dear that counts for a lot o! Sow and invest in this man and you will surely reap the rewards in the years to come.

What makes u think I don't love him, I luv him with all of my heart

idu1:
u dont love that guy..........

Yes my hubby is a snub, he don't satisfy me on bed,and NO its not about money its more abt emotions den money. Money can't buy peace of mind I want Peace of mind

bennyrazz:
@purityme, your problems are

1. Your hubby is snubbing you and keeping secrets to himself?

2. Your hubby is not satisfying you on bed?


3. Your hubby does not give you enough money?


what else?

That my problm, and once I remember my past I always compare which will later turn to nagging. I don't want to be a nagging wife I want to be a luving one. The more I try the more I fail, I want to endure life d way it comes but am getting weaker.

5minsmadness:
And this is the problem.

OP you are not a zombie. You have to learn to control your thoughts. Anytime you find yourself dwelling on your ex, clear the thought from your mind and think of something else. You can even try something:give yourself a gentle slap or knock on the head when your find yourself thinking of your ex. It sounds funny but it works, it will make you conscious of your thoughts.


All your other present problems will probably stem from this one problem. Sexually you are having problems-are you sure u r not comparing sex with or ex and ur current husband? Financially you r having problems- r u sure you are not comparing how much your ex has compared to your husband? Emotionally...but by now you should see where I'm going.

Stay with your husband o! If your ex loved you so much he would have done all in his power to make you stay. Don't form habits you would later regret.

Good day. Please I need a candid advice, I ve been married for two years,and I ve a year old son. But I ve been keeping a lot of things to my self and I need help before I turn into a nagging wife.
I was in a 5yrs before I met my husband.my ex and I were so in love but we ve diff chanllenges. He was nt ready to settle down and age was no longer on my side. So I met my husby wen am still wit my ex. My husband is the best tin that happened to me. He was nice and has a good heart but he is good in snobbing and keeping things to himself.
Not to bore u wit story my promblem nw is I compare my husby to my ex. And its affecting my marriage. We re facing a chanllenging situation now and am finding it hard to endure. Our problems re uncountable sexually,financially, and emotionally.
I need advice on hw to handle things and stop comparing.