₦airaland Forum

AwkaetitiBabe:
Anambra

Ohh. Igbos take these things more seriously.

farady:
OP kindly follow the above advise. This life is too short to leave trails of unnecessary wahala behind and excalate fires that we ought to put off with simple acts of love. Bible says honor your father and mother..... I'm sure you can complete the rest of the sentence.

Yes, I think about that commandment oftentimes. But in all fairness, I've been really good to him inspite of everything. I've been the peacemaker trying to get my siblings to forgive him.

But for that marriage part, for some reasons, I just don't want to go to the village... nor do I want him walking me down the aisle.

I'll really consider born2breed's advice.


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MedicH:
just kill the man already

God forbid that I wish death on any man.

Pubichairs:
Hope u told ur fiance everything about ur family including de where about of ur dad..

I won't be surprise to see another thread from u concerning wot I already said..

Ur maternal uncle should run de affairs..it doesn't matter who collects de bride price....

@First statement, whenever I meet a potential suitor that I'm interested in, I make sure to tell him the family situation.

Thanks a lot for your input.

Born2Breed:
You mentioned two important things here.

Walking down the aisle and bride price collection.

Your maternal uncle can walk you down the aisle.

The bride price is for your father cum paternal family.(bride price and list is not much in Edo state,i guess you are owan or etsako or igarra?)

Also,marriage can take place anywhere,bring your father and few relatives(1or 2) to your location to perform the necessary rites then go back home.

In all these you must plead with your maternal uncle to please allow your biological father collect his bride price and go. I always advice my fellow ladies not to offend any side of the family when getting married.

This makes a lot of sense. Not Owan or Igarra... from Igbanke.

Thanks a lot for your contribution.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Maternal family cannot take bride price where I'm from. Mustn't be your father though.

What state is that, please?

Redoil:
see eh Urhobos men believes that mother are to train children while the father does what he likes with his life. that is why most of them marry up to 5 wives and still have lot of girlfriends with out taking care of their children.

to me who ever takes care of a child up to a marriageable age is entitle to collect the bride price

Great. Thanks.

bujebudanu1:
With what have seen. Just like your case

My cousins did their traditionals in Lagos.mum and dad and not lagosian and they are separated, but they grew up in lagos. Where u do doesn't matter shit.

Anybody can walk you down the aisle.take a case of if your have a late dad.
You will go the aisle with your younger,elder brother, uncle , anybody u like in your family

Of course, I wouldn't be confused if he was late... but the situation now is that he's alive, so I'm wondering if it's against tradition to have someone else perform those rites.

But I get your point. Thanks a lot.

Gurumaharaji:
Regina Daniels father doesn't even know she get married.... so ur responsible Uncle dat train u can conveniently act as ur father during d occasion

Hmmm. Regina Daniels... We don't really know the full story.

Hello house, good morning.

I have a real concern and I want to know what is permissible from mature and discerning individuals in the house.

Myself and my siblings were raised (from when I was about 8 years old) single handedly by my mum. Even all the 7 years that my father lived with us, my mum chiefly ran the home... she was the one who paid rent and school fees and ensured quality feeding. Father was gainfully employed at the time, but he just lacked a sense of responsibility for family. He finally absconded at about the time I was 8 because he lost his job, and never looked back... he was never involved in our finances or welfare. In all those years, he visited a few times, but that was all. My mum passed on a few years ago and her brother, my uncle, assumed FULL responsibility for my siblings and I. My paternal uncles never lent a helping hand.

Now I'm in my 20s, done with schooling, working currently, and would be getting married soon. I want to know what is permissible. I'm from a minority tribe in Edo State, so I'm not Bini or Esan. My maternal family are Okpe (Urhobos). Left to me, I don't want my father collecting my bride price or walking me down the aisle. He now lives in squalor in the village. I don't want to go to the village to do my traditional wedding if I can help it.

Two years ago when I first had plans of getting married, my maternal uncle who's responsible for us had mentioned that I shouldn't take any man to my dad. My maternal family is angry with him, for what he did to my mum and us. I would love to respect my Uncle's wishes because I feel he has a say, and to show my appreciation for all he's done.

Has it ever happened that a girl's maternal family receives her bride price? Is it a taboo? If that's against tradition, is it possible to choose another location other than the village, where my dad and his kinsmen can perform the traditional rites?

Also, on my church wedding day, can my Uncle walk me down the aisle?

N:B I don't hold any grudges against father. I've been the only one amongst all my siblings who's tried to keep in touch with him. I was the one who personally went to seek him out to know where he lives... and to know my village. Whenever I can afford to, I send him money.

Still, I don't feel he deserves to give my hand in marriage. He's never been a dad, in the true sense of the word. Something happened not so long ago, and he was threatening to curse my brothers... for not looking after him. He acts really entitled.

Candid advice, please. Thank you.