₦airaland Forum

Ma'am, you made quite a lot of sense but I just want to point out one teeny tiny detail you got wrong: Elie Saab is not gay. He's very happily married to a woman - Claudine. He has a son with her, I believe.

MissRaine69:
This is how I look at it
The Arts especially where Fashion is concerned , Music and Theater/Silverscreen were historically the only places were gay men could flourish without discrimination from mainstream society. Gianni was never openly gay very few designers are . They live notoriously private lives. The world of Art in its many forms has always been liberal and fluid when it comes to sexuality look at the The Renaissance period from an art perspective, art shifted from being about saints and heavenly beings to reflect nudity, erotic themes and there was less restriction when it came to subject matters being painted. Artists had more artistic licence. Fashion and music are like that. You are free and accepted.

Male Actors historically used to play both male and females roles, women did not act. It was considered uncouth. Why there are more male gay designers though? It’s not a testosterone driven field, it’s about finesse, delicateness and expression of the sublime. robably, because their sex drive doesn’t stand in the way as it would in an all male heterosexual world were competition is based on who has the biggest d**k rather than who can articulate a described vision onto fabric. They legitimely care about “style” and “grace” and “elegance”, and they know the rules of the intra-sexual competition among females. They understand why it is such a defeat to wear the wrong handbag, the wrong skirt. These things matter to women believe me.
Now I am not saying straight men don’t make the best designers but all my favourite designers are gay.
Ellie Saab
Valentino
McQueen (late)
Oscar de la Renta (late)
Byredo ( perfume) &
Tom Ford

Does anyone know if the MBBS admission list is out yet?

Olumaeme:
I don't even understand all this fuss about feminism? Is that there is separate laws for women or there's women constitution?

I think women even get some undue favor.... We are equal already in the eye of the law

Yes, just like black and white people are all equal in countries that are predominantly white, what's all this fuss about racism? The Law is all that matters? why do we complain about crime? it's not allowed under the law, so what's the problem?

selflessmaya:
actually it will, that's the whole point of an abortion, to make a pregnant woman not pregnant again.



who says he should drug her and abort the pregnancy? do u honestly think a 16 year old wouldnt wish to not be pregnant? if u want to throw around pro-choice, if the sister does have the kid, is she capable of raising it without his contributions? she really has no choice and is very dependent on what the potential caretakers of the child will decide. if nigerian families can beat a pregnant girl and talk hell into her about how the pregnancy will go, then a family can save the beating and be as level headed as possible and talk to a 16 yr old CHILD about why they feel an abortion is the best course and get her to see reason. most pregnant 16 yr old nigerians will pray for a family that can even let them have that option so let's not pretend nigeria is the uk where teenagers "wanna keep the baby".
if OP wants the pregnancy to stay, it will stay whether she likes it or not, if he wants it gone, it will be gone too, if he wants her married at 16, she has no choice. in nigerian society, the pro-choice ish does not exist for most women and i'm not stupid enough to delude myself like most ppl here. families mostly make the decision and for once a man is here trying to make what any sensible person knows is the right choice, a choice that most ppl who feel trapped like his sister would secretly want. and we should leave it to his kid sister? in this country? where she gets no choice in the first place? he could have married her off, he could let her have the pregnancy as a punishment but he's considering letting her walk scottfree from all this, i am a huge advocate of pro-choice and how a woman should have sole decision but sometimes i have to remember i'm dealing with nigerians and head straight to the point. my main argument with abortion is it's a woman's body, choice etc. but this is an important issue and this is no time to start trying to state laws of feminism.
the case is simple: a girl who gets no choice in most families has a brother who wants to give her an option that most girls in her shoes would kill to have. if she's getting this option cos he wants to save face, not cos it's her body etc, it's none of my business, it still benefits everybody, a 16 yr old will be more grateful in 4 yrs time if she terminates this pregnancy than if she keeps it. 95% of women who have had a safe abortion dont regret it, they're thankful for that chance of escape everyday.



u must be high on some narcotic if u think i'll argue with someone who just compared a 16yr old child to a 27yr old adult. why didnt u also say, it's not such a big deal if a 20 yr old man has sex with a 9 yr old, it's same 11 yr difference. you're the idiot and it shows . lol

Look at you, acting all blunt and realistic and deluding yourself into believing you're making sense. it's so adorable.

I'd like to point out that there's probably more to you than meets the eye. The way you keep on insisting that an abortion is the absolute best for her, makes me believe that at some point in your life, you needed one, but you couldn't get it. Too bad, but it still doesn't excuse this mess.

Your post is contradictory , to say the least. in one breath, you insist that she's too young to be a mother, yet in the next, you mention how an abortion would be so easy and have no effect on her. Why is she too young to have a child, yet old enough to have her insides scraped out illegally?

You did not even consider the effects of the abortion itself. How will her brother ensure that the abortion is 'safe' when it is illegal? That's like telling someone to go for a 'safe' robbery. In this case, what you see is what you get. There's no insurance, no guarantee, no body to hold the Doctor responsible if something goes wrong.

And the worst part of all this is that you don't even take her choice into consideration, yet you say you're pro-choice. Who says a sixteen year old cannot raise a child if she wants to and if her family is supportive? Is it rocket science? A sixteen year old certainly is mature enough to decide what to do with her own pregnancy.

You framed your post such that you stopped short of saying she should be tied down and forced to have the abortion, yet that's obviously what you mean.

ORAGBON:
Dear Jzhane,

I have a big mouth,yes I admit and I am so ashamed right now.

I met Obinna last year and he did admit that it was my bluntness that attracted me to him. I am someone who likes to say it the way it is. I am very blunt and direct.

Over the course of the relationship,Obi has also said to me that I should tone down my bluntness. I had then began to wonder: why this same h=guy who was attracted to my being very real is asking me to change.

I didn’t like that his suggestion. And frankly speaking,I felt like he wanted to control me.

We have quarreled about this a couple of times but we also reconciled.

If I am completely honest,I think that I take things a little too far. For example,the day Obi introduced me to his elder sister,the woman said to me that she didn’t like my tinted hair (which was gold)…and I told her that I didn’t like her nails. I told her also that my hair choice is my business. But I think I should have just kept quiet.

The last issue we had was two weeks ago,since that time,Obi has not been picking my calls. He is avoiding me. I don’t know if he doesn’t want the relationship anymore.

What happened was that Obi and I went for a party of his colleague who was having a house warming party. As we sat eating and drinking,Obi asked me to pick up his second phone which he left in his car. I was engrossed in the gist that was going on so I told him to go get it himself that I was not going to miss the gist. He said,babe,please go and get my phone a second time. At that point,I lost it and said,biko,am not your servant…leave me,either you get it yourself or stay without it.

As we sent home that day,Obi refused to speak with me. He dropped me off and that is the last time I have seen or heard from him. I have sent countless text messages (which I had to swallow my pride for) apologizing for my attitude. Yet,Obi has not reached out to me..

I thought about going to his place but I am scared he might not want to see me. The shame of open rejection,I cannot bear.

What do you think I should do? How do I win back Obi the love of my life?

More importantly,how do I change my behavior without loosing my self esteem?. I pride myself as a strong educated young woman,.I was raised to be very independent. I hate it when a woman is not allowed to express herself because it is believed to be a man’s world. Men don’t like women who are very outspoken but isn’t that prejudice? I know a woman should submit to her man but to what extent? Shouldn’t men be able to also accept a strong,opinionated and smart woman…

I guess I need to know how to balance this. Please help me.



From Sandy,

V.I,
Lagos




www.livelystones.com.ng

I don't think the person that posted this is the Sandy with the problem but here goes:
Aunty, if you are educated, strong and independent as you say, then you should know you don't need to be in such a toxic relationship. It's obvious the Obi in question only pretended to accept you for reasons best known to him. Now his true colors are showing, and it's time to cut your losses and leave.

His sister criticized you, is she not also a human being? why should you not reply?

And the way he ordered you to get his phone, even when you informed him you did not want to speaks volumes about the respect he has for you. You did well to assert yourself in public. Waiting till you got home, as some suggested, would have had no impact on him.

I'm yet to see an independent woman desperate for a man's love. Yes, the relationship was an emotional investment, and you're right to feel hurt, but if you're smart. You'll cut him loose and move on. Let him find a 'submissive' woman to act as servant. You're better off without him.

tosyne2much:
My own observations about the so called feminists is that they are dejected people. They are usually embittered people that have no men in their lives.

When you see a woman that is being treated like a queen by her man, she will pay loyalty and submissiveness to him and she will shove "feminism" into her ass.

Statistics has shown that only ugly, hurt, frustrated and dejected women claim to be feminists

Just to be clear, you do know the meaning of 'queen', right? Because I'm very confused. If a subject expects a queen to be submissive to said person, can that subject not be said to be mentally deficient?