₦airaland Forum

nwabuking5:
from my own point of view. i don't believe a man can be beating up by the woman he married. that man is not a man and can never be a man.

WORD !!!

It's not acceptable in my hometown but to me (personally speaking), I dont think there's anything wrong in it.

***Rano walks into the thread. Not feeling the atmosphere and he left by saying - GEJ FOR PRESIDENT!***

Quote from Nekai: The only intelligent snipets of your entire post. If she is abusing him sooo much by daring and provoking him, and since he cannot have PEACE OF MIND with her around, then why doesn't he walk away and dump her? Surely, as a man who is not prone to violence, you cannot seriously believe that he is handling this situation correctly?

See the answer to your question. Quote from OP: "Then he said 'get out of my house', I SAID NO!

What say you about that?

When my GF cheated on me, what did I do?. . .BONE her side and MOVE ON!

sledge406:
aribisala0's comment,
@Ranoscky and Harakiri,

Nice points you've outlined and the annoying ish is many readers in here will take you for your comments and reason you to be a lady beater just because you decided to be on the fence and apportion blames in the right quarters. Never back down for a cause even if you stand alone and some heads out there know the truth but would rather be blind to see.

Thanx man, big ups!

That is me for EVERYONE! I dont back down at something that I know is right and, I say things the way they are!

sledge406:
aribisala0's comment,

Abeg say something else. Anybody lady can be handled as far as they have someone they answer to. An insight to "The Godfather" (Al Pacino'c classic) will let you know that anything can happen but sometimes, it is not always jolly for the wife/woman beater.

ferdiii's comment,
Lies!
Conduct a real survey and you'll have SOME ladies who tell you they love it when they get hit by their BFs/HUSBANDs because of the aftermath sorry after sex and fact is I know of someone who confessed to this.

@Ranoscky and Harakiri,

Nice points you've outlined and the annoying ish is many readers in here will take you for your comments and reason you to be a lady beater just because you decided to be on the fence and apportion blames in the right quarters. Never back down for a cause even if you stand alone and some heads out there know the truth but would rather be blind to see.

Yes, a real man must never hit a woman, I advocate for that 100% (but what of a woman that beats a man?---I guess the man is silly or must be a weakling, right?) All these so-called online FEMALE activist on NL think say na bread and butter matter be dis. See how the guy has been made to look evil (he might be, who knows) but have refused to see the flaws of the lady for her daring moves and insults because she sees herself and her bobo as equals. Harakiri pointed out early that would someone in the right frame of mind come to his comfort zone (his house/home) looking for a fight? Some women out there are really nasty and they are the ones that should be changed but would they ever considered themselves to be looked into? The said beater's flaw is having an uncontrollable temper and who knows, he might have tried to exhibit control from the beginning and finally gave up. And since he successfully landed her some beatings in the first place, he saw a reason to continue when things went out of hand. (A situation the same complainer placed herself) What stopped her from rushing out of it when it first happened or when it fourth happened? His golden prick as long as his height and your investments (only God knows what) keeps drawing you back like a magnet. OP, you don't have a life of your own as no real independent lady would be subjected to what you are in. (Maybe you're ashamed of your friends laughing at you when you're out of his house and back at your parents' but remember it is better to be laughed at while at your parents' or your friend's than to be cried for when you're in a sack---you sure say dem go use coffin for you?)

And to all the guys who take pleasure in causing harm to women for no just reason and even for a just reason (when you can look for an escape route to seeing calm restored), remember, your time is nigh as you'd be paid in your own coin. Make una go find una mate for outside or try to register in KING OF THE CAGE. These women are fragile no matter how strong they claim to be, it is somewhat in their nature or DNA to "fight to finish" with their mouth. Ignore them!

The best form of dealing with a lady like a friend tagged it is "SILENT TREATMENT" (never knew that) and I tell you, it works. But over time, you should try to discuss the issues that caused problems in the beginning and make sure its ugly head isn't seen but if all you have is problems and shouts (quarrels) than love, stop deceiving the evil spirit in yourselves and SPLIT WAYS!

Nuff said!

Bros, infact, I dont just know what to say to you but, may you live long (the embolded line above)!!!
That is what ALL (but just FEW) posters on here FAIL to see but decided making CLUELESS conclussion and advice.
The most funny thing is that, they all went thru the OP's write up and were stil advicing her to leave the relationship without seeing and commenting about the true picture. smh!

Now, every1 are advicing her to leave the guy instead of telling her to her face point blank period that she was the cause of her being battered and should work on herself/attitude. Believe you me, If she eventually leaves that guy and start dating another, she will DEFINITELLY continue her 'shaddy' attitude (daring, abussive, stubbornness etc) with the new guy, and if the new guy is very much hot tempered and som1 that doesnt tolerate such nonsense, who knows what the outcome of the 1st beating would be (God forbid tho)?
The boyfriend now is being crucified and branded different kinds of names here while the hand writting is written there on the wall for WE ALL to see (but unfortunately, som turned blind eye). 

OP, just like I said before, your BF is a better guy (who knows?), YOU is the cause of you being beating and treated like an animal b'cos of your shaddy attitude. Go check on yourself gal, you gat more work to do on yourself!

Quote from Taito077

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It obvious you really love this guy, but you need to know your life is at stake at the moment. It better you give him some space for some time as he needs help. Moreover, try to look at the past months or so when the beating started, was there anything you did or his he facing any problems currently. Maybe problems from work or family pressure or something else, because he cannot just wake up and start behaving that way for no apparent reason. Think through this and see if there is anything that needs to be addressed.

^^ Bless you, broda (nice to read more reasonable posts like this).

That was EXACTLY what I was trying to say. The OP do "dare" him and her current state occured b'cos of her stubborness when asked to leave the house (instead of leaving jejely) her response was "NO, I WONT".

OP, believe U me, your BF is a VERY GOOD GUY!!! I wont advice U to leave him (ya, I might be D only 1 to say this) but, pls go and work on yourself. U need learn how to talk and position yourself whenever your guy is not in a good mood.

Quote form Dahbutter:
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A truth that has been hidden 4 long is that most ladies that get @$$ whiped are actually b¡tche$ that often torment a peaceful guy till they bring out the beast in him. i never knew i could slap a lady till i did my ex after she drove me to madness over and again even attacking me without me responding 4 2 good years, turns out all her ex bfs and even the present one (5 altogeter plus me) ended up beating or slapping the shyte out of her cos she is soo stuborn n crazy n bitchyy. So op pls chek yrself

^^ Guy, may you live long jare!

Now some deep reasonable peeps are talking. So glad to read from them!

@Beeke, girls can be crazy sumtyms, U know? I think the OP deserves what she got and it most deffinitely serves her right!

When one start fvcking a girl, thats when she looses respect and conscience over the guy.
Imagine BOLDLY & CONFIDENTLY tellin a guy "NO, I WONT" in the guys OWN house, shey na madness ni?
That alone would make one/the guy go MAD and give her EXACTLY what she wanted since she refused to leave.
There's two side to a story. I wont condemn the OP's BF on this cos, her write up says it all (she's at fault).

You dare NOT 'tempt' a man to know his reaction. When U'r asked to leave his house, U do that jejely and let him com asking for forgiveness later (since she said thats what her BF always do). U dont say NO to see his next Commando move. Had it been she left when she was asked to, would she be here seeking for advice by now? I just dont know why some girls are just bone-headed and refused listening and reasoning with som1.

Toto dey make soo many girls dey lose respect. When they start fvcking som1 older than their elder brothers, from there, D respect is dead and gone while they cant try whatever nonsense they do to their guy, with their elder bros.

PS: OP, until U tel us D oda side of D story, your BF is a gud guy and I wont blame him. Blame it on your stubborness!

beeke:
In this country were i live you dare not lift your hands on your gf or wife unless you have made up your mind to cool your heels in jail

Not when she "dares" you and when you ask her to leave YOUR house, she confidently tells you "NO, I WONT!"

The fvck do you think she's looking for?. . .NO BE DEATH, ni? . . .Unfortunately, the BF gave her what she asked for and he's being crucified here in NL. Kudos to the boyfriend jare!

STUBBORN GIRL!

Unfortunately, ekoboy is the ONLY one that saw the real picture on this topic, gademmit!

Hey Nerd, dont think I backed down on our arguement about this issue. I went out with a friend and am just coming back now. It's 3:30am saturday morning over here but, I'll like to stay for maybe 30 to 45 more munites before going to bed, so lets continue our arguement cos you guys fail to point out the main problem but, I thank God that som1 with GOOD SENSE OF REASONING has finally came up with it!

Pls, read the post below let me know if you can stil try to see where I was heading to.

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Quote from ekoboy:

"My take on this is, why tempt?
We forget that its not only between man and woman that you have weaker persons. A man will not go looking for fight against someone he is sure is stronger and will surely beat him up. Why can't some women adopt that strategy? Am sure there are other ways a woman can make her point without being confrontational. We forget some words are more dangerous than fists.

Am not supporting men beating women, but am saying let the woman help in not making it happen. It is inappropriate to tell a man " there is noting you can do" under any circumstance. The man will go ahead to prove to you that there is something he can do. I have seen where a man killed someone because of that statement. So everybody should be careful how they use their tongue. Its not everyone that has self restraint."

Do you grasp what I was tryna say?

Nerd, pls tell me what is the cause of all these problem between the OP and her boyfriend and lets see who's at fault?

[quote author=Inked_Nerd link=topic=647069.msg8131322#msg8131322 date=1302853826]
You make it sound like she randomly approached him and asked him to hit her. He made a threat so she responded by telling him since he thinks he can do it, he should go ahead. Had he not been making threats would she have said that? No. I'm quite sure she didn't wake up one day and say "Oya, hit me"These sisters you say you have, I feel sorry for them if your response is to just disregard them. Its relatives like you that will see abuse and turn a blind eye. [/quote]Dont play feminine here, Iya.

You complained about "Tempting" and I made it clear to you. Now you here telling me "she didn't wake up one day and say "Oya, hit me" Is it until she says such before we know that she was tempting him? Now, lets do the remix. . .Did the guy wake up 1 mornin and started beating her? NO! why? Her refuser to leave.

You said "he made threats", what knida threats was that? According to her write up, I SEE NO THREAT! Is "leave my house" a threat? Is arguement threat? Pls, where was the threat?

Dont get it twisted about my sisters, ma'am, they'r as cool as the word COOL! But if they find themselves in cases like these, then they should carry their crossess, for I see no reason why som1 would ask you to leave his house and you refused (try play block headed), unto which level?. . .When NOT yet the wife?. . .Now, let me ask you a simple question. . .Had it been the OP left when she was asked to leave, are we gon be here discussing about this issue (just a question)?

Unity

[quote author=Inked_Nerd link=topic=647069.msg8131228#msg8131228 date=1302853008]
Tempted? Tempted? How did she tempt him? Is he not the initiator? You saying she "tempted" his is the equivalent to justifying his actions. Its comments like this that enable other men [and women] to continue the cycle of abuse.[/quote]Madam, Xplain the below. . .?

kofsy:
i used to dare him when he says this because i thought his threats were mere words. Then he said "get house of my house", i said No.

fstranger3:
You deserve it

If i were him, i'd do the same thing

Women are goats, they dont listen until you beat the shyyt out of them

My broda, it wonders me to wonderland, really!

Why must 1 refuse to leave when she was asked to leave, is she the 1 paying the house rent for him?
Why not leave at the moment when she knows that the guy will come asking for forgiveness later? What if the guy gets 'RED', and decides to do an un-do?

OP, FYI, I know of som1 (a Nigerian) serving 22yrs inprisonment in Japan for killing his GF (a Japanese for that matter). I dont want to go into details buh, it's similar case with yours. I dont know why some of you girls are block headed (no offence tho, very angry), is it until he does what was in his mind before U'll decide to leave (and thats if you'r fortunately alive to leave)?
Imagine the guy not being that rude guy but, your stubborness led him in maltreating you like animal, and U'r here complaining. In-as-much-as I HATE GUYS THAT BEAT GIRLS, I dont think I'll blame that guy cos, U tempted him to.

I have said it that, any guy that ever lay his hand on any of ma sisters wil forever regret it, but, in a case like this, omo mehn, SHE IS ON HER OWN!!!

FLAWBISH !!!

kofsy:
I have been in this relationship since november 2007. When we first met, i know my boyfriend to be a gentle and responsible guy. But for the past 6months, he gets violently angry when we have little disagreement and threatens to break my head and kill me.i used to dare him when he says this because i thought his threats were mere words. Not until january this year when he started the real film. When we have heated arguements, he kicks me, throw things at me, press my neck against the wall and says i will kill you o! After all this, he still comes back to apologize. The most recent was yesterday; he said something cruel to someone and i told him i didn't like what he said, this turned into an arguement. Then he said "get house of my house", i said No. Then he grabbed me by my cloth and started slugging me in the head. I am 5'6" and about 60kg and he's 6'8" and 79kg-no match. I asked him to stop, and he kept slugging me. I fell on the floor and he got on top of me, held my neck tightly trying to strangle it. I said you are going to kill me and he said "yes! you are right i will kill you. He took a pillow and used it to press my face down on the floor. And i asked him to pls leave me alone, he was hurting me; I thought i was going to lose consciousness. I am in a bad state now with bruises. I know he still loves me and has realized the horrible things he has done. Is there a chance for him to change? Should i go back to him?
I know most of you will tell me to leave him but it's not that easy, the commitment and the sacrifice i have made in this relationship would not make that so easy for me. And above all, i love him so much![color=#000099][/color] Am perplexed.
Thank you so much for taking all your time to read this, you don't know how much it means to me. I'm almost crying now writing this, just thank you so much everyone.

You requested for advice when you have the answers with you already?

Believe U me, even if every1 here advices U to leave the guy, U have already made up your mind in going back to him so, I dont think my contribution is needed! Abide with whatever U get out of it, for U made the decision yourself.

Best of luck!

Untentable:
I want to believe NYSC causes breakups in relationships even dose destined for d altar. Am goin thru a phase wit my gf dat I don't understand since she started NYSC. Most of her friends are males and wen I complain abt her sleepin in their rooms I become d big bad wolf who is always naggin and criticisin her friends. Now she has requested for a break so dat she can clear her head. Now if I ask her wat she feels for me she tells me its complicated. This is d handiwork of NYSC scheme.
Guys n Gals, wat are your experiences wen one party goes for NYSC and how do u deal wit d long distance relationship?

The fvck is you stil waiting for?

Leave her and move on jare, abi she tie U with otumokpo, ni? . . . .I wonder when som guys go be like me!