₦airaland Forum

Thanks so much guys for all your advice,and I do apologize for not responding early enough but I've been through a lot this past days,Just to update you on what's been going on:
We've both agreed to separate for a while i.e for 3 months just to think and reason out if we can still live together and also to know if there's still emotion in the marriage.

She had since left for the USA on holiday or probably to free her mind,but the children will be with me for a month( the au-pair will be taking care of them),and they also will be leaving for the USA for their school midterm break.

In the event that we could not reconcile after the 3 mths,I've been adviced by my lawyer to seek an amicable settlement with her,i.e half of the properties and the cars will probably go to her etc.

I need your prayers at this time that all things will work out well for me and the children,I love my wife but unfortunately I can not really believe things could turn out this way.

Thanks Tope,More advice Pls!.

Hi All,
Please read my story and advice accordingly:

I met my wife through a close friend who happen to be her manager in 1998, she happened to be doing her internship there and my friend being a Christian recognized some good virtue in her and recommended her to me afterward i realize that both of us actually attend the same church,I got to know my wife 2months to rounding up her programme i.e her intership and 1month before leaving for school I spoke to her and we both agreed to start a relationship.I was working in the kaduna then while she was schooling at the University of Ibadan,due to the nature of my job, I didn't have much time to travel down to visit her in the school,

I will say she's decent and do pray a lot, she did not have many friends,though the 2 different occasions that i visited her I couldn't meet any of her friends,so there is no way for me to know any of her character or maybe her past life while in school,at a point when I propose marriage she said she had only been in a relationship once and due to infidelity on the part of the guy she broke up.we got married immediately she finished her service year i.e 2000 and a year after we left relocated to UK.

There is one trait I've seen so far in my wife and it is that she's too secretive,example includes either she's home or not i'm not allowed to open up her mails,i'm not allowed to receive her calls,she never jokes,she said she doesn't like jokes,the fact of the case is that i do not understand her,I've had to talk with her several times but refuse to see reason with me.

My idea of a marriage is that both side should be open to each other,i.e they should be best of friends,in my case some times I may want to confide in her some things she will tell me that she's not interested,on few occasions i've had to accuse her of infidelity not that i caught her but I actually sense it because of lack of intimacy i.e communication between us.she's very intelligent and smart(she's a Phd holder) and and am a research scientist though very busy still studying and with 2 kids in the marriage,I know what she can do,I've had to confront her with some evidences yesterday and since then she's been crying and i guess making up her mind to quit the marriage.

Now this are my points:There has not been any intimacy between us.and 3yrs ago i'discussed with her sisters and they spoke to her up till now she's not changed.

She's always nagging every little things she'll start making trouble.I've had to ask her what the problem is.financially we are ok,both of us have 3 properties in uk and 1 under construction in  Nigeria.so this is not money problem.

Another is the fact that i should not check her mails even if she's out of the country!

She does go out any time and i cannot query her or ask her where she's been.

I don't seem to understand.I do not intend to cheat on her or anything and i will never cheat on her.I only suppose a marriage should not and could not be like this. Pls note I've taken her to so many seminars on marriage and I've actually tried my best .I do not know what else to do.

Pls advice,
Thanks.

Hi guys,
I need to get one of my cars repainted but i need an idea how much they charge for painting between abeokuta and lagos whichever one is cheaper.
The car is Mercedes Benz 230E.
Thanks.

Hi,
i've just sent you a mail,pls check and reply asap!
thanks.

Hi,
I'm based in ireland and for some time now i've been seeking for a business/career mentor,it's been quiet difficult getting response,I only need advice/leadings concerning my career path,if you're willing to be my mentor pls contact .
Thanks.