To Above only,
Dont do any 419.any advice you have post it here to benefit eveybody and not to sednd u emails.

With all your properties and money, you should be able to afford counseling. Hey man, if you divorce think about you children. They will be at a disadvantage compared to a two parent home. Another thing, no sense being in a celibate marriage. In the u.s. I think it is grounds for divorce. Get your problem fixed.

Has she been like that all the while or she just developed such character? If she has been like that, that might be the reason why she did not have much friends while she was in school--like you said--. But if she wasn't like that before, don't you think it's pride getting into her head? She might not be cheating on you. You are her husband, you can bring her down to a zero level and talk senses into her head coz having a phd does not mean you should misbehave in your husband's house. I don't pray a divorce for you guys. Although, some pple might have taken divorce as an habit, but really, it's not a good thing.

and, don't forget the place of prayers. We has human are just guessing the problem, but prayers would go directly to the solution. GOOD LUCK.

@Poster

Sorry man! some women are just like that,

, or, she's just tired of you.

Thanks so much guys for all your advice,and I do apologize for not responding early enough but I've been through a lot this past days,Just to update you on what's been going on:
We've both agreed to separate for a while i.e for 3 months just to think and reason out if we can still live together and also to know if there's still emotion in the marriage.

She had since left for the USA on holiday or probably to free her mind,but the children will be with me for a month( the au-pair will be taking care of them),and they also will be leaving for the USA for their school midterm break.

In the event that we could not reconcile after the 3 mths,I've been adviced by my lawyer to seek an amicable settlement with her,i.e half of the properties and the cars will probably go to her etc.

I need your prayers at this time that all things will work out well for me and the children,I love my wife but unfortunately I can not really believe things could turn out this way.

This is really sad. I will pray for you guys. I hope everythiing works out though.

Outstrip:

This is really sad. I will pray for you guys. I hope everythiing works out though.

thoughtful

i understand the hell you are pasing tru but i guess you 2 must be responsible for the present state of your marriage. i would recommend you read ''how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie''. it just might help you to see your wife from a different light and save your home. Remember, divorce is the most tragic thing that can happen to a family. Gud luck, broda.

Such a sad tale! The problem is that you were not friends from the onset. We must marry people who are our friends o! Why should your partner not laugh at your jokes, not matter how stupid!
Take this separation time to pray and try to friends, try to understand one another instead of gathering wealth.

I do not know you but I think it is entirely your fault. You did not put in too much time in your marriage.

I agree Gentle Lady. I think this marriage could be saved with a little bit of hard work on both sides. I think time apart might open their eyes to certain things that they might have taken for granted

Gentlelady:

Such a sad tale! The problem is that you were not friends from the onset. We must marry people who are our friends o! Why should your partner not laugh at your jokes, not matter how stupid!
Take this separation time to pray and try to friends, try to understand one another instead of gathering wealth.

I do not know you but I think it is entirely your fault. You did not put in too much time in your marriage.

wow, did u read what he posted? he did put enough time to the marriage, the wife just dont have his time. he has done his part, its up to the wife to step up to the plate. lets assume a reverse role here, if it was the husband that wasnt communicating and all, what will ur reply have been? think about it b4 u post

Hi Ray

I really admire your courage and understanding.  Like I said before, I still  stand by it.  What you really, really need now is a BIG, BIG HUG from your mother and sisters and brothers because these are the people that really loves you.  If you are my brother I would have helped end it quick because, I love you and wants the best for you and, the family would not want to loose you because of a woman. Also, I want you to know that, except your children, nobody is worth loosing your live for.  No one else would love you more and look out for you than your own blood and flesh - your children, brothers/sisters and theirs is a classical example of: UNCONDITIONAL LOVE however, people fail to understand that marriage love is a CONDITIONAL kind of LOVE - which means: there are boundaries you MUST NOT CROSS and if you do so, so and so, I will do so, so, and so and that would be over and it usually, is. So, it does not worth the heartaches and stress - your mental health and general wellbeing is more important than money.  Money is not everything!  Money was here when we came and will still be here when we leave this world - no one would take his/hers when they go and that's the truth.  Though quite painful, I am glad you have sought professional help - your solicitors advise which I believe its the way it's going to go.  Settle her and move on to greater things.  You've got your children and that very important.  Please, please, do not attempt to raise any hopes that all will be well after 3 months separation because, I believe this is it now.  The history of separations in this country mostly point to the NEGATIVE side.  As a well informed woman I know, once a woman agrees to take a BREATHER in her marriage there is no re-suscitation here. 
Take courage!  You have tried to save your marriage the best you can and, you can not save what's no longer there hence she's now OFF to USA and probably where she would settle once this is over - probably gone to research certain things.  Please, SETTLE HER and move on!  Remember, once you're single many daughters of Eve would be throwing themselves at you.  Don't even think of it because, that can only land you in another BIG SH-T.  Please, don't because of loneliness rush into any other relationship so soon pleeeeaaaaaasssssssee!  Whether dem be PASTOOOR OR BISHOPOOO  in your churchiooo, don't do it!!
Give yourself time, at least another 3 - 5 years to re-group and recover from this emotional, psychological, mental abuses and physical (in terms of lack of intimacy) to enable you think and plan your future and that of your children. 

Good luck and God bless!!!

Blessed the man has not given up on his marriage. He still wants to work on it and I believe that there is hope

well bro, i think the mistake had been made. and i know that before one seeks for advice, he has thought a lot on the issue. firstly, i think you made a mistake accusing her of infidelity, that i think you should apologize and the most important thing is that, the both of you never knew yourselves and i won't be in a position of putting assunder in your marriage. you are both married so, try asking her what the problem is and how she thinks things would continue in peace. i wish you the best, it is the sacrifice you must offer and the cross you must carry and know this, life is not a bed of roses. may the Lord grant you his peace.

i heard all u said and all contributions given. frankly your situation has gotten a bit complicated bt it can work. trust me. firstly losen up on her, i think ur pressuring her a bit 2 much even though u have reason to bt some people just repond negetively when pressured. keep doing things that made u guys flow together when u first met cos i guess u were flowing at a point. dont also force jokes on her just do it causually and watch her moods b4 u do them cos i think she moody and probably all ur pressure has made her uptight. take it cool wit her, try 2 suggest fun things u cud do 2geda and not fights and querries and i belive she will ease up again. ive been tru abit of it 2.

prayer will solve your problem. then create chance and discuss with her. marriage is all about understanding. God bless

Hmmm me I suspect this ray person. Here's a post of his from a different thread:

Forums / Autos / Any Idea How Much They Paint Car In Lagos Or Abeokuta? on: May 09, 2009, 08:56 PM
Hi guys,
I need to get one of my cars repainted but i need an idea how much they charge for painting between abeokuta and lagos whichever one is cheaper.
The car is Mercedes Benz 230E.
Thanks.

Pray tell what would someone, as he describes himself to be, be doing with a Benz 230E in Abeokuta?

your wife is not in love, now try this every morning, say I LOVE YOU that's the magic word
if nothing change, QUIT

break that shiiiiiit
who needs marriage anyway

Sorry poster but you sound like a wimp, you need to man up. No woman, no matter how educated she is, has no right to walk all over her husband. How can your wife just travel and not even have the courtesy of letting you kno w where she is goin, and you just Siddon there they take am. Are you sure you are even a Nigerian man What if something happens to her while she is away and her family calls to find out where their daughter is?? you will sound like a wimp telling them you have no idea where you own wife is. Me no fit marry person like you oh, I trust my Yoruba brothers wives one is a doctor, the other one a lawyer they no get liver to try that kin rubbish.

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As humans, we are bound to have differences either in opinion, utterance, or actions. We view issues from different perspectives as a result of our different orientations, society, exposure, skills, knowledge, upbringing, family background etc. These individual differences may lead our marriage into divorce if not properly managed. For more details, pls visit www.nairaarticle.com to read more on how Relationship.

Abekeade08:

Sorry poster but you sound like a wimp, you need to man up. [b]No woman, no matter how educated she is, has no right to walk all over her husband. [/b]How can your wife just travel and not even have the courtesy of letting you kno w where she is goin, and you just Siddon there they take am. Are you sure you are even a Nigerian man What if something happens to her while she is away and her family calls to find out where their daughter is?? you will sound like a wimp telling them you have no idea where you own wife is. Me no fit marry person like you oh, I trust my Yoruba brothers wives one is a doctor, the other one a lawyer they no get liver to try that kin rubbish.

now that's my baby, u see why i fell head over heels in love for u?

U married too soon, without knowing her better, let her know, that if she continues her ways /behavior that your marriage will not last.
If not, give her a choice to leave, if that is truely what she wants.

Funny to note, when a Man goes gaga and the woman needs help, we know what to tell the woman to bring the man to his senses.
But if the woman goes gaga, and the man needs help, we hand him over to God.

My Brother, i feel your pain, but i think you still need to pray very hard, open those mails and if she is screaming, you hold your calm and ignore it.
personally, i runaway from girls that don't have female friends.

wtf

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