₦airaland Forum

Your husband's brother is such a nice guy yet you just cannot seem to get his wife to like you. It would be great if everyone could get along yet she refuses to give you a fair chance. She is very nice towards your husband and the rest of his family. You try to bond with her but she refuses all of your attempts. She is too busy disliking you for "stealing her spotlight". She is no longer the only daughter-in-law in the family, she has to share the spotlight with you which is something that she does not want to do. She feels competition, jealousy and anger towards you and will do anything to make you feel stupid and unwelcome.
Just know that you have done nothing wrong. Do not go out of your way to kiss her behind. She was once in your shoes. She had to go through meeting the same family and has had similar experiences as the newcomer once she married your brother in law. It is unlikely that anyone treated her in the same way that she is treating you so do not blame yourself. She has no right to make you feel uncomfortable.
Steps:
Stand up for yourself: You are a part of the family now. Your husband chose you to be his wife. You have every right to be included as a part of this new family. Building a relationship with your in-laws is very important so do make the effort to visit often, get closer.
Socialise with your brother-in-law and his wife. You and your husband should invite his brother and his wife for dinner or go out on a double date. Use the outing as an opportunity to break the ice.
If your new brother-in-law and his wife reject your offer to meet for dinner then just stop trying. Give them some time and space. Realise that there is nothing left to give. You can only try so long before your patience runs out.
Make a decision on how to deal with it. Your brother-in-law's wife goes out of her way to make you feel uncomfortable. She rolls her eyes at you and she gossips behind your back. The best thing to do is ignore this.
Discuss everything with your husband. Let him know that you are aware that his sister-in-law does not like you. Also explain to him how much it hurts you that she goes out of her way to make you feel uncomfortable. He does not have to 'fix' the problem for you.
Do not allow this jealous witch to interfere with the opportunity of you getting to know your in-laws. You have every right to build a relationship with your mother-in-law and father-in-law. Do not be intimidated.
If your brother-in-law's wife continues to be uncivilized then do not be afraid to approach her with a stern attitude. Let her know that you are aware of how she feels and that you do not appreciate her approach on the situation. Let it be known to everyone in your husband's family.
Stand your ground. If anyone in your husband's family is purposely excluding you from family events, especially for the sake of his sister-in-law, then show up with your husband anyway. Let them know that you are a couple and that you will not stay back.

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DozieInc:
Nice tips Op.. HNM.

thank u dear nd same to u

Justdulla:
Nice Tips.. whenever am angry,I just ignore the instigator and shut up ma mouth..

thank u, lol

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind. With insight about the real reasons for your anger and these anger management tools, you can learn to keep your temper from hijacking your life.

Understanding anger

The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad. It’s perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged. The feeling isn't the problem—it's what you do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or others.

If you have a hot temper, you may feel like it's out of your hands and there's little you can do to tame the beast. But you have more control over your anger than you think. You can learn to express your emotions without hurting others— and when you do, you’ll not only feel better, you’ll also be more likely to get your needs met. Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but the more you practice, the easier it will get.
And the payoff can be huge. Learning to control your anger and express it appropriately can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a healthier, more satisfying life.


Quick tips for cooling down

1. Focus on the physical sensations of anger.
While it may seem counterintuitive, tuning into the way your body feels when you’re angry often lessens the emotional intensity of your anger.

2. Take some deep breaths.
Deep, slow breathing helps counteract rising tension. The key is to breathe deeply from the abdomen, getting as much fresh air as possible into your lungs.

3. Exercise.
A brisk walk around the block is a great idea. It releases pent-up energy so you can approach the situation with a cooler head.

4. Use your senses.
Take advantage of the relaxing power of your sense of sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste. You might try listening to music or picturing yourself in a favorite place.

5. Stretch or massage areas of tension.
Roll your shoulders if you are tensing them, for example, or gently massage your neck and scalp.

6. Slowly count to ten.
Focus on the counting to let your rational mind catch up with your feelings. If you still feel out of control by the time you reach ten, start counting again.


Give yourself a reality check

When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to thinkabout the situation. Ask yourself:
1. How important is it in the grand scheme of things?
2. Is it really worth getting angry about it?
3. Is it worth ruining the rest of my day?
4. Is my response appropriate to the
situation?
5. Is there anything I can do about it?.
6. Is taking action worth my time?

stevekeri:
nice one, I hope she find the right man. God will see are through it. I which I could leave my life like this.

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It's just God's grace

A 33-year-old woman, Rahab Mugure Nga’nga, who claims to have never had sex all her life has drawn the attention of many people to herself after she boldly declared that if she does not get married, she would stay a virgin forever. Rahab, a commercial service manager from Kenya, made the disclosure during an interview in which she shared tips on how she has been able to maintain her virginity and stance.
According to the young woman, she has preserved her virginity because of her religious belief and desire to please her God. Her words: “I am a born again Christian and I do not want to offend God with sexual sin, sex outside the marriage bond is sin. I want to have s*x, just like the next person, but because I haven’t before, it is not a distraction.”

In addition, Rahab stated that her
eagerness to make her mother happy and not disappoint her by getting pregnant out of wedlock has kept her strong. She further revealed that although she was involved in two serious long term relationships at different times, which unfortunately ended badly, she has remained a virgin.

She said: “My first, which lasted two and a half years, ended because our ideals on sexual boundaries clashed. The second, which lasted three years, ended two months to my wedding date. I rush straight home from work and keep my socializing at zero until these winds have passed. “I also avoid reading certain books or watch soap operas and I do not kiss or caress men.” Miss Rahab, a graduate with both a Bachelors and Master’s degree in Marketing, says even if she turns 50 years old without getting married, she will remain a virgin and maybe adopt a baby.
Wonderful decision! God’s grace…

Some things your parents or friends have told you that are not true. Let’s find out a few of them.
1. An apple a day keeps the doctor away
You’ve probably heard this so many times that it has become a slogan. Yes, apples contain lots of fibre and vitamin C and can help in building up the body’s immune system, as well as other fruits and vegetables. But if you don’t keep the laws of proper hygiene, keep your environment safe, etc; you won’t be able to keep the doctor away.

2. Sitting on a toilet bowl will give you “toilet infection”
The chances that you’ll have a urinary tract infection (UTI) or pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which is wrongly called “toilet infection” in some parts of the world, from sitting on a dirty toilet bowl is almost impossible. Very rarely, it is possible to pick up skin infection, especially when you have cuts or wounds on your ‘bum’. But otherwise, a UTI or PID is almost impossible to pick from a toilet bowl. Whenever you think you have a “toilet infection”, go see your doctor. It wasn’t from your office toilet.

3. We human use less than 10% of our brains
Errrmmm, not actually true! You would have heard this so many times that you’ve believed it. They say even Einstein just used like 20% of his brain. What now happens to the remaining 80%? It’s just there for decoration, right? Imagine technologies such as MRI, PET scans show that each part of our brain is active in different ways. So, this isn’t true at all.

4. Women need rest during their menstrual periods
So many women use this as an excuse to get off work. Well, women are allowed to do what makes them feel better during their periods – even strenuous exercise. Exercise has a lot of benefits as it triggers the release of endorphins that can make you happier.
5. You get catarrh and cold from drinking ice water
While this is partly true, most colds are caused as a result of you coming in contact with someone who has a cold, or picked up the bacteria from your surroundings. Colds and flu are contagious, and this is why proper hygiene is very important. Wash your hands often, take precautions to avoid spreading it or picking it up from other people.
These are just a tip of the iceberg as far as the truth behind some of the things you’ve always known are concerned. Science is making things clearer, and we are learning faster and better than before.
Stay healthy!

oliviatwist:
Actually the best way to heal is to forgive. That way you get rid of the bitterness and fully move on. Even holding on to a grudge means you've not fully moved on.

I've tried both ways so I know.

These are steps to take to get rid of the bitterness and fully move on dear.

1. Either block or unfriend him on
Facebook, because that will be
the death of you. Maybe you assume you are a reasonable and mature lady-human who can handle seeing the occasional reminder of him on your Facebook timeline. You're both grown-ups, right! What's a little "David's Birthday Bar Crawl!" action popping up on your feed? Noooo..... There will be a really pretty lady in his arms in every picture, and you will feel like you want to jump into Buffalo Bill's abandoned well girl-trap in Silence of The Lambs.

2. Don't immediately suggest to "stay friends" — and if he does, tell him you need to think about it. This is an impulse because you don't want to seem like you care too much about the breakup. Because you're so chill. You're so chill that your heart isn't beating. Aaand, you're dead. But truthfully, during this stilted, awkward breaking- up period, it's hard to tell whether you'll be able to be friends or not. Generally, one person wants to be friends and the other wants to be more. Gotta work that out before it can be a healthy friendship…if it ever can be. You're not admitting defeat by not staying friends with him.

3. Rebound with one incredibly hot guy, if that's what you want, and then give yourself some time to decompress and remember who you are. Go out and get yourself some strange from a guy who is either a King of Leon or just has dirty hair. It's hard to tell the difference. But then slow down and be low-key for a while. If you've had one rebound, you've had them all, in this woman's opinion.

Lack of physical activity has been shown to increase the risk of chronic illness and mortality. Yet, a large part of the American population fails to meet the government's recommendations for physical activity. According to a new study, competition might be the key to getting us to workout more. Competition drives us to exercise more, according to a new study. According to the National Center forHealth Statistics, 69% of Americans 18-24 years of age failed to meet the federal guidelines for physical activity in 2014. To remedy the situation, researchers and governments have tried to uncover key motivators for people to maintain a schedule of physical activity, as well as cost-effective strategies to increase motivation. Teaming up with friends and engaging in physical activity routines together is thought to be good for starting a new fitness routine, as the psychological costs of changing behavior are easier to bear in companionship. But how does social media affect our motivation? Does a friendly, supportive environment help promote physical activity? Or might competition be more effective?