₦airaland Forum

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make I just keep shut and watch!

dearpreye:
Good morning all.

Moments ago, I saw and read a relationship topic on front page. This is as a result of that topic. The OP asked for advice from NLers over his to - be wife who has very serious anger issues. Anger is one of the worst weaknesses any person could have or tolerate in their lives.

We have this erroneous belief that ALL courtship must end in marriage. It's a dangerous mindset. The purpose of any courtship is to ascertain the COMPATIBILITY of the people involved. It's a time for each person to carefully decide what they can or can't tolerate in their partner. The courtship period is the most vital period before the knot is tied.

This message isn't tailored towards discouraging those who are in a courtship neither is it intended to make us fault finders but its purpose is make sure we make good decisions with our HEADS after taking the time to study and understand people.

People don't change.

Humans are some of the most complex creatures God ever made. We hardly change. We only change when we want to, not because some people wanted us to. That's the human nature. If you're tolerating very difficult issues with the belief the person will change in marriage, you've inherited an eternal prayer and fasting ministry. They will hardly change.

Don't ever ignore RED FLAGS.

Red flags are warning signals predicting potential dangers in the path of your relationship.

If any person told me I want going to marry Mary, I wouldn't have believed. I thought we were in love. Maybe we were. I was old enough to have witnessed my parents argue very bitterly, sometimes also to the point of not talking to each other for days. So I knew marriage is one of the most vital events I'll ever undertake; so I was prepared to get as much facts as I could on the issue of marriage.

When I visited her this fateful day, I didn't know it would be the last day we would see. It was blissful day. She had suggested I visit a pastor friend of hers. I did. She suggested I visit another friend but this time I refused because of the exhaustion that followed the first journey. In fact I suggested we reschedule the visit. An argument ensued. She insisted I should go, but I stood my grounds. After some exchange of words, I decided to return home. That was when the unthinkable happened : my clothes were hooked up and ruffled and all my buttons destroyed. I didn't believe it was happening.

I got a new clothe and returned home. On my journey, I typed a beautiful message, appreciated all the times we had and gave reasons why the relationship has ENDED. There was no way I would be getting married to a potentially violent woman. She apologised and call my parents but I was gone. No promise of change on her part OR emotional tears could have me change my stance; I was gone.

If a little argument could lead to my buttons being destroyed during courtship, I didn't need any person to have told me what lied ahead. That moment, I engaged critical thinking and forever exited the relationship. But I didn't fail to point to her her anger issues. Some other person could put up with her, but not ME.

We need to be very clear when we make very critical decisions like whom to get married to. How far you go in life depends, to a very large extent, whom you're getting married to.

Never permit pressures of age or parents or even the society force you into making decisions that will only guarantee decades of bitterness, sorrow and gloom. Your decisions determine your destiny. Your decisions determine your happiness or sadness.

I'm not advocating for impatience on anyone's part. You could still give very reasonable time for your partner to address some red flags you'll notice. But where such a partner has not shown any meaningful, positive difference, let your head rather than your heart, guide thee.

Life's beautiful but getting married to someone you're NOT compatible with, will make life long, sad and miserable.

Make a smart choice and avoid a life of endless prayers, fasting and counselling. The average Nigerian has enough prayer points already! LOL.

Have a great day.

u wanted to marry her buh had never found out abt her anger ish until den?....

difficult to believe!

Lsofdk:
[color=#225484]no dy bend your face 4 me abi you wan chop kiss and yes i wan join the race? [/color]

I will kwantinue bending my face!.... now do ur worst!

BreadandBeans:
OP I think the girl u are referring to is suffering from Brain Tumors, Cerebellar Disorder and Brain malformation. When she's free from this ailments, then you ask her if you guys are handsome and hear what she'll say.. Cheers

.....


oyibo!

cocaineaddict:
make money first. You kids look malnourished.

....wicked sombori!

KingRex1:
Lol, this case is strong.

Gat a decent space for u here, if u dnt mind

were is d space!

romme2u:
leriebloom, refiner report to base

which base?

KingRex1:
u still awake.. Heat, mosquito or ur bf?

all of d above....and at once!

timidapsin:
Okay...Enjoy! Got to get back to work..

work?...by dis time of d night!


OK oo....enjoy too!

timidapsin:
Shouldn't you be sleeping now?

yea I should ...buh not feeling sleepy yet!

KingRex1:
i referred to you

....
u eh!

Realone92:
I know u fly , u slay ....u don't need my words to tell u how cute u are I don't wana add to your guys list ... Stay blessed !!

....fanks sweety!

pennytration:
Tell dem o. Add LadyF, Prettythicksme, Pheals, Refiner, Smellymouth, Lasisi69, Cruzita and Cuteopsy to dat list.

gerrarahie joor!... mtsheeeeew!

timidapsin:
Stressful How was yours?

same!

KingRex1:
I had a nice day. Thank you

lol!.....
wasn't referring to u!

Lsofdk:
[color=#225484]only you 4 guys. you go float like balloon dat day[/color]

.....u won join?

timidapsin:
Refiner

gudevnin...how was today!

slyIsaac:
He he he fear ke ?? I walk in the face of danger Me say I want talk to yhu face to face ni ?
Were yhu dey since ?

lol!....its just for fun OK!....

demzylahot:
hey..hw r u

I dey oo..u nko

sandraokosun:
as in hen, no be small. I have seen a couple of ths beaches been asked everyday questions on education matterz offguard, and they fail all and start trying to cover up with laugh and silliness. Just watch close up loves naija show and u would see how dumb many are, they cant ans a question, but go they form accent, with bleach

oga its OK abeg!...u wan kill me wif lafter!


beauty wif no brain!

Realone92:
Refiner carry 4 guys ......the battle of the magnificent "intrigue" ....I guess her beauty could launch a million soldiers to war .,..

....

Codedrock:
Oga seun she's too young for u oo.. cos e be like say u wan lift eye from tonto to her now...

I smell ban!!!....

slyIsaac:
Uhm...refiner,do yhu like the idea of me wooing. Yhu anonymously?? I mean doing online sef is bad on ts own...I'd like to look yhu in the eye as am wooing....any way may the best man win


Welldone o

lol!....u don d fear?

hehhehhe...no fear joor!...just some romantic words and u in!

sandraokosun:
My EXPECTATION WAS to see MAUPE OGUN, VICTORIA PEPPLE, ADESUWA ETC.



These are the real tv personalities who have all round beauty with brains and know how to make top politicians and guest shiver for cover and wet their agbada when interwied and flawed by the depth of these women.




all i see here are a couple of bleached whores and photoshopped artifical crayons beaches who probably got their by either sleeping with some personalities or knowing them, and cannot tell you the meaning of photosynthesis.

oga take am easy nah!...naso e pain u reach??

ImDharay:

whattttt! a whooping 4 contenders
on refiner's ass.? Na only she waka come...

u for don join to make dem 5!

ImDharay:

lol, ionne av...neva had. always prefer watchin.

....

simple and short!

love is GOD!

ImDharay:
www.nairaland.com/attachments/2743115_meme0618967655_jpeg7b1beb5a580faa2f3e265e4f8cbc753d

.....go joor!




by d way who is ur wooeee?

ImDharay:

hahaha, u see urself, nw dts not ur real face cuz u know it doesnt fit u.

mtsheeew!...gerrarahie joor!

ImDharay:

u need not say it
so stop pretendinq...n0w try sumfin else.

pretending?...dats not my face nah!..why should I pretend?.....abeg try somfin else!