this dog ganna die

Dogs using computer

Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?

A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy bars. On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend had left him.

Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?

A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and he logs on from home to try to bring it up. Otherwise, things can wait until tomorrow.

Q: How come the Age of Miracles ended?

A: That was the development phase of the project. Now we're in the maintenance phase.

Q: Who is Satan?

A: Satan is an MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he actually possesses, so nonprogrammers become scared of him. God thinks he's irritating but irrelevant.

Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?

A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier revs.

Q: How can I protect myself from evil?

A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common word, or a date like your birthday.

Q: If I pray to God, will he listen?

A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get off his back and let him program.

Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true?

A: They are much more likely to receive email

A CHINA MAN AND AN IGBO MAN WERE STANDIND BY THE ROADSIDE, SO THE CHINA MAN WAS HUNGRY, SO AS THEY WERE ABOUT TO GO TO THE RESTAURANT, A HOUSE FLY PASS THECHINA MAN AND HE CAUGHT IT AND ATE.
THE SECOND ONE PASSED AND HE CAUGHT IT, SO AS THE THIRD ONE WAS PASSING THE IGBO MAN CAUGHT IT AND TOLD THE CHINA MAN, HOW MUCH WILL YOU BUY IT..........

A man went to a doctor, and said he wanted to be able to get a job at the local Post Office, but unfortunately he was too smart. The doctor asked him his IQ, and when he gave a three-digit reply, the doctor told him that the procedure would have to involve the removal of over half of his brain.

The man insisted, and since the doctor just happened to have a brand new laser device which could zap just the right portions of brain tissue, the operation was planned.

The laser was hooked up to a computer which could monitor the man's declining IQ on a nice bright LED display. The doctor threw the switch and the numbers began ticking off ... 95, 94, 93, ...

Suddenly the phone rang. It was the doctor's wife. They gabbed for a few minutes, the doctor forgetting completely about his patient.

When he hung up, he suddenly realized, and ran into the operating room, only to see the meter tick down ... 6, 5, 4, ...

He ran to the machine and threw the on/off switch, just as the laser was about to wipe out the last remnant of brain. 'Holy moley!' exclaimed the doctor, 'What have I done? Speak to me. Say anything!'

The man looked at him and said, 'I, George W. Bush, announce my candidacy for President of the United States...'

A guy walked into a bar and saw a sign that said, 'Cheese sandwich, $4; chicken sandwich, $5; handjob, $20.'

He said to the barmaid, 'Are you the one who gives the handjobs?'

She said, 'Yeah.'

He said, 'Then go wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich.'