It is a phenomenon as old as the sands of time, passed down from one generation to the next. Over time, some geniuses decided to invent money and it became a necessity. Fast track to today, it has become a social ID card, we all need to tender it to get everything we want; friends, parents , girlfriend,pussy,respect just to mention a few. You probably guessed, I’m talking about work, job, Labour, slavery or whatever word you use to describe toiling away for money.
In the same vein, I’m going to centre in a specific part of the labour force. This comprises mostly of youths at that awkward stage where they are still studying but they need money to buy pot and other related life essentials. If you are out there and you need a job but you have no qualifications nor talent or skill whatsoever, this post is for you as I’ll be outlining the jobs out there for you.
P.S: If you got the meaning of pot above, you need to see someone for your addiction problem, also drop your number in the comment section so I can counsel you. Females only.
1. Sperm donor: This is a very bomb legit means to make money. You get to knock up people way out of your league and the pay is worth it, trust me. Actually don’t trust me, the only things my hand pumps are weights and barbells. All you need is to drink a lot of fluids, a vivid perverse imagination, Vaseline and a strong hand or two depending on the length. Besides I hear there is no limit to how many times you can make a deposit, so as long as you keep it up , you ‘ll be rich with your vineyard overflowing with milk ( see what I did here??)
2.Blood donor: Now this is a personal favourite of mine. I mean there is a metric ton of liquid in your body just wasting away and here is the good part; it recharges when the quantity is low. Big upside is the fact that you only need 3/4 of the quantity to survive, so why not make a buck off that extra 1/4. Another upside is that you’re saving someone’s life while making money. You basically get paid to be superman. This profession cuts across every age, gender, race and qualification of course. It’s like the samurai sword of professions, so next time you’re low on cash, think about it. Do be careful though you can literally die trying to get rich from this scheme.
3. Professional mourners: Who doesn’t want to go out in style? Personally I don’t think my funeral should be considered a success if someone doesn’t jump on the casket in tears, begging to go with me So you see, you’re actually making a hateful, hated schmuck’s dream come true (not that I’m one). All you need is a wardrobe revamp to black clothes, ability to break down and roll around well and if you really want to spice things up, a propensity to send your clothes into tatters. If you think you can’t produce tears at will, cheer up (actually try not to cheer up as much as possible) there is hope for you, slice up the onions needed for a party or find a Yoruba demon to break your heart, you ‘ll be fine (actually not fine)
4. Politician : Is your moral compass broken? Are you a smooth talker? Can you promise and fail? Did you fill in income in access of 5 million while opening your bank account? Then this is the job for you. You don’t even need to occupy a post throughout your career. Just back the right horses, be very close to those in power, be a shameless leech to your boxed up colleagues and all you’ll have to do is sit back and count your millions. 100% legit.
Conclusively, I leave you with the immortal words of Bill Gates, the current wealthiest person in the world.....
“Good morning, How are you? “
More insightful and Interesting Posts via http://trendsnaija.com.ng/2016/07/31/momentoftruth-get-rich-or-die-trying-by-ademidun/