₦airaland Forum

Sometimes, It is just good to keep quite when you know everything you say make people angry and make you more unpopular.

It will be more reasonable rather to beg Nigerians you've failed and seeking their permission to repeat so as to meet-up the expected performance threshold by Nigerians.

solomonwis:
Yes,you can have "family support" but the definition of family support ends with funds made available by the principal applicant, Accompanying spouse or both. Other than these two,the onus lies on the principal applicant to prove that fund or evidence of fund presented is indeed available,not borrowed or encumbered by debt of any kind.

It is always an herculean task proving that other sources of fund prove the availability for use by the principal applicant and his/her family.

Hi Solomon, do you mean to say that funds coming in as support for this purpose from extended family members as listed on your apllication and a letter signed by them as a donation they don't expect to collect back from you would not be convincing?

zaralady:
hello nairaland,

Happy valentine in arrears. We re still in the era of love, and there is this question that has me really confused and befuddled.

As a result of my post of facebook on motivation, gospel, and life, I'm seen as a mentor to many friends and followers, and some come to me for advice which by God's grace I give.

Lately, a facebook friend sent a message and it reads:

"Miss......I see your good works and words of wisdom and consolation to many confused and distracted people out there. May God continue to uphold and empower you. Please this question have been bothering me because I'm getting married in 2 months time and my fiance and I have been arguing about oral and anal sex. He said he sees nothing wrong with it and would like to do them when we get married.

I see it as a sin and a diabolic act in the sight of God. This argument is making me think he is not the will of God for me. What do you think about oral and anal sex in Christian marriages? Can christians indulge in them or not??"

So nairalanders please I'll really appreciate your brilliant contributions, I know we have matured and wise people on nairaland, so please let them come out.

Thanx...

Meditate on this words ntural use of woman Romans 1:27
And likewise also the men,
leaving the natural use of
the woman, burned in
their lust one toward
another; men with men
working that which is
unseemly, and receiving in
themselves that
recompence of their error
which was meet.
- King James Bible "Authorized Version",

SenatorJames:
Thank God this thread is in joke section. If not, i will just burn my nairaland account with petrol and matches now.

I guess you can't make it past the first section. Just watch, somebody might be up to the task one day.

As 2015 Valentine's day is coming to an end, it will be good I share with you fellow nairalander the Valentine's Day last year report.

(1) Engagements .........12%.
(2) Heart breaks ........92%.
(3) Wife caught cheating ........79%.
(4) Husband caught cheating .......78%.
(5) Condom sales ........ZMK 17m.
(6) Fast food sales ........ZMK 95m.
(7) Visit to Motherless Babys' Homes,prisoners/cells, beggars/ destitute .........2%.
( Night club sales........ ZMK 225m
(9) Joint & Cool Spot sales.....ZMK 68m.
(10) Girls in hospital over Love.......482, 631.
(11) Boys in hospital over Love.........397,506
(12) Girls arrested for fighting over
Boys.......33,876.
(13) Boys arrested for fighting overGirls.......66,405.
(14) Wives beating husbands in public.......804.
(15) Husbands beating wives in public...........1,209.
(16) Exchange of boxers for BB/Tecnomobile/Money For Brazillan Hair........4m.
(17) Divorce........ 557.
(18) Pregnancy .........39,572
(19) Number of switched off phones on Feb 14 2014...... # 9m.

Do feel free to add your own...

helphelp:
U



APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY
DAUGHTER.
FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN
HAND WRITING AND IN BLOCK
LETTERS
I ________helphelo_______ hereby apply to
marry
your
daughter Miss______rhyle_____ _. I am
__30 something ___
years
old.
Please answer the following
questions
honestly.
1. Do you go to Church ? Yes/No YES
2. Do you have a degree or diploma?
Yes/No YES
3. Are you still a virgin?
Yes/No HELL NO
4. Are you working? Yes/No YES
5. Do you have a car?
Yes/No YES
If your answer to any of the above
questions is NO, do not continue.
Leave my
house and don't look back.
If all your answers were YES, Then
continue...

I have got a NO, but I'll continue anyways


1. In 50 words or more, Describe the
disadvantages of cheating in
marriage. There are no disadvantages


2. With the aid of a diagram, Explain
how
you can give respect to your father
in- law
and mother in-law. You go wait for this answer tire

3. Suppose your wife says "Honey, I
need
money for my hair at the saloon",
what
would be your answer ? Go- ahead but I must Tesojue la leyi

4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce. No IDEA

5. What does the term 'good
husband'
mean to you? Bleep your daughter tirelessly

6.Do you have both dad and mum
together?
Yes/No YES

If No explain why?
7.Were your parents legally married?
Yes/No YES

If YES for how long
If the time of their marriage is less
than
your age, 30 something years

Explain why you were born out of
wedlock.

8. Explain the meaning of ''COME
HOME
EARLY" If your daughter is Hot noni

As used by women (100 words)

9. Give any THREE reasons that can
cause a
man to sleep outside his
house. Just in case I see fresh...ain't going home mate

10. In case of divorce, Who do you
think is
the owner of the kids between father
and
mother? Na sperm dey turn pikin


Answer the following
by Yes or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No YES SiR
2. Do you smoke?
Yes/No NO Sir
3. Are you short- tempered?
Yes/No wouldn't know

LAST PART - BUT EQUALLY
IMPORTANT
1. When can you be free for
interviews? Sundays alone

2. When is the best time to interview
your dad?Sundays aline

3. When can I interview your mum You wanna DIE

4. When can I interview your church
Pastor Reverend Father you mean

5. Please stick your passport size
photo
below which will be put in the
newspaper
to check if you have other girlfriends.
Sign here:
Sign again:
Thank you for showing interest in my
daughter. Your application will be
processed in a year's time.
You will be acknowledged only if you
emerge successful.
As you are waiting,
*Please don't call me! K
*Don't visit me! K
*Don't contact my daug hter! Why not

If u do, you will be disqualified!
Leave your details in case I need to
ask you
more questions;
Postal Address: ask your daughter
Email: ask your daughter
Phone: ask your daughter
Home: ask your daughter
Facebook: ask your daughter
BEST WISHES Thank you sir

you've already failed the first part, so, kindly take your leave and clsoe the door as you move out.

NYSC 2014
I fell in love with this cute damsel
and
everything was going on fine until i
made
my intention known to her father &
being
a learned man, here is what he gave
me:
APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY
DAUGHTER.
FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN
HAND WRITING AND IN BLOCK
LETTERS
I _______________ hereby apply to
marry
your
daughter Miss___________ _. I am
_____
years
old.
Please answer the following
questions
honestly.
1. Do you go to Church ? Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma?
Yes/No
3. Are you still a virgin?
Yes/No
4. Are you working? Yes/No
5. Do you have a car?
Yes/No
If your answer to any of the above
questions is NO, do not continue.
Leave my
house and don't look back.
If all your answers were YES, Then
continue...
1. In 50 words or more, Describe the
disadvantages of cheating in
marriage.
2. With the aid of a diagram, Explain
how
you can give respect to your father
in- law
and mother in-law.
3. Suppose your wife says "Honey, I
need
money for my hair at the saloon",
what
would be your answer ?
4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
5. What does the term 'good
husband'
mean to you?
6.Do you have both dad and mum
together?
Yes/No
If No explain why?
7.Were your parents legally married?
Yes/No
If YES for how long
If the time of their marriage is less
than
your age,
Explain why you were born out of
wedlock.
8. Explain the meaning of ''COME
HOME
EARLY"
As used by women (100 words)
9. Give any THREE reasons that can
cause a
man to sleep outside his
house.
10. In case of divorce, Who do you
think is
the owner of the kids between father
and
mother?
Answer the following
by Yes or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No
2. Do you smoke?
Yes/No
3. Are you short- tempered?
Yes/No
LAST PART - BUT EQUALLY
IMPORTANT
1. When can you be free for
interviews?
2. When is the best time to interview
your dad?
3. When can I interview your mum
4. When can I interview your church
Pastor
5. Please stick your passport size
photo
below which will be put in the
newspaper
to check if you have other girlfriends.
Sign here:
Sign again:
Thank you for showing interest in my
daughter. Your application will be
processed in a year's time.
You will be acknowledged only if you
emerge successful.
As you are waiting,
*Please don't call me!
*Don't visit me!
*Don't contact my daughter!
If u do, you will be disqualified!
Leave your details in case I need to
ask you
more questions;
Postal Address:
Email:
Phone:
Home:
Facebook:
BEST WISHES

tpiah99:
rent a crowd

Politically oriented modification.

kilokeys:
rent-a-ghost

got it right.

Who remebers this programme?

I pray God will take control in Nigeria and glorify himself.

I agree Mr. Presidetnt, they do better in making things worst because they wont need your vote anymore and hence nothing to loose. And if u'll agree with me on this too, It doesn't worth it giving them a second chance.

I support you. Mr. General, that's a civilised way of handling issues in a democratic era.

wahabcoal:
Thanks much for that. Do you have an idea how I can submit same evaluated transcript to CIC?
Has anyone done similar thing?sending another transcript to WES Canada will take lots of time and stress.

I think WES evaluation report for US might be different from Canada from the principle of comparative studies. But to be on a safe side, it is highly recommended you contact WES to clear doubts on that.
However, I strongly believe you may not need another transcript sent since it is still same organisation. They can access it but with a new service charge.
Contacting them will help you make a wise and unregretable decision.

GEJ and GMB hugging, shaking hands and smiling at each other.

GMB daughter in UK, GEJ family also at UK or US, you are here in Nigeria suffering and smiling.

Wise-up Nigerians, the few naira they gave cannot sustain your present needs let alone the future after election.
No man should fight and hurt others because of Politicians' political ambition. You are being used. If you kill in the process, you are not better than boko haram.

This man has got good sense and I see much of his predicament. I can assure you that he's got more sense than the siting president considering his presentation with his 'low level of education' people abuse compare to Mr. P.H.D holder.

Their camp is so debased in reasoning and education. Even as you can see, his gramatical expression with his level of education outstand the level of Mama Pis with her B.Sc. Not to talk of Mr. P.H.D.

Hmmm.

I rejoice with you. Its a worthy struggle despite frustration from within that has only made Nigerians to only shine outside ther father's land. Kudos.

I write jamb = Boko haram
I go University = Strike
I no go school = Poverty
I wan travel by air = Plane crash
I travel by sea = Millitants
I travel by road = Accident I go out I relax = Kidnappers
I go Bank = Armed Robbers
Make I enter bus 4 Nyanya Motor
park Abuja = Bomb blast
I vex use leg go village = witchcraft
I dey house = No work
I go work = No Salary
I dey room = No light
Make I marry = No money...
I even shake person = Ebola.
Even 2015 = I must Survive.

Oya add your own...

TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - THE ASSUMPTION THINKING

We all want to be comfortable. We want a comfortable lifestyle; that life that would give us the peace that comes with meeting obligations, responsibilities, fitting in and self-preservation and personal pride. We just want to make sure were socially and economically okay.
We work so very hard, search for new things, seek fresh opportunities and try to put in our efforts in ensuring we are…okay.
A good, enjoyable, peaceful life is not an illusion. Happiness is for real, joy is for real, peace is for real, fulfilment is for real; these are not things that are impossible, these are not experiences that are mere imaginations, some people are actually happy, contented, comfortable and fulfilled.
Please understand me; a happy life is different from happiness as in emotional state. You can have a very happy life but still occasionally feel bad and unhappy on the account of events that occur in and around you that make you feel bad.
You can have a very happy life and occasionally your husband or wife or friend or boss or colleague would do something that'll make you unhappy, it does not mean you don't have a happy life, you still have a happy life you're just momentarily upset on the account of an issue.
A happy life is the pleasantness of your journey through life. It is the totality of how far you have come; where you're at and where you're headed. If your life thus far is something you can smile about and be happy about and the future looks promising and fulfilling then you have a happy life.
On the contrary if you look over your life, your choices and decisions; where you're at right now and the future makes you afraid and insecure then you probably don't enjoy a happy life.
A happy life is beyond temporary upsets and unpleasant occurrences; as even when an individual is struggling and unhappy in life, there are still moments of happiness anyway.
A happy life is a great life, a life of success according to your own unique and personal definition of success.
Is your life today in alignment with your personal definition of success? Would you be saying your dreams and expectations thus far has been your experience? Are you living a life different from what you really want? Is there a difference between your dreams and your reality?
Why is it taking so long to marry your reality and your dreams? At what point would your dreams become your reality? For how long would your dreams and your reality exist as two parallel lines?
For how long would you keep observing others doing what you can only wish; other people like you achieving your wishes, experiencing your wishes and enjoying what only exists in your own dream land?
If it's possible for others, why does it appear impossible for you? Don't you suppose it's time to sit back and think about finding real solutions and answers? If many theories you've heard, read and assumed aren't working as expected don't you suppose it's time to try something entirely new? Or you're only hoping and assuming things would fall in place one day? Hmmm.
One of my colleagues began to share a business idea with me; for him it was novel and interesting, and appeared smart; it looked really good on paper and he was convinced many people would buy into it.
I asked him a pertinent question, if we invest so much in funds and man hours into the idea how much minimum returns are we looking at and when are we likely to deliver certain revenue in returns? He smiled and gave a common response; well he hoped people would like it and patronize and if they do; mark the words, if, then we should be able to deliver so so amount in numbers.
I smiled; he was missing something crucial in today's business environment; the terrene is too treacherous to invest money and man hours in an ‘if’ situation. Assumption is a great killer in today's business.
The excitement, speed, dynamism and operations in today's business world has become a situation of ‘get it right the first time’ If you want to stay ahead and enjoy good growth, you strategy, tactics, and decisions must be tight. Assumption is a risk too high to take in business today and guess what? it's too high to take in individual lives too.
Let me take you back a bit to your days in school; as an undergraduate, you were told and you agreed and assumed if you did very well, study a good course and graduated with very good grades, your life would be okay, you won't have problems as such, it would be smooth sailing.
But if you observe, you may just discover that in the real world; after school life, your assumption may have been flawed. You will see many course mates with good grades from highly reputable universities struggling to get jobs and the ones with lower grades or less prestigious courses and less prestigious higher institutions getting the good jobs and earning good salary; faulty assumption, mistaken beliefs.
Even in social lives, it is assumed the serious, focused and moral young ladies are the ones who would eventually end up getting married in good time to kind, serious minded and responsible gentlemen.
But if you observe, it may surprise you, the playful, unserious, happy go lucky, fun, party and club girl could be the ones getting married in good time to the nice, gentle and responsible guys and the so called good girls, serious and focused ones are the ones still praying and hoping to be married one day. Hmmm. Faulty assumption, mistaken belief.
It is also a common thinking that if you get a well-paying job, you will be okay, but check it out, most employees in well-paying employment today have sub-zero account balances; most of them are in debt, they owe so much and are constantly broke. More money made them debtors not comfortable, for some, their drivers and other non-management staffs are building houses, senior managers owe, paying for cars and gadgets - faulty assumptions, mistaken belief.
It is also a common statement that good success would come to anyone who pours himself into his job or career. I have come across and counselled very many hardworking; practically toiling individuals who have nothing to show for it after many years, hard work is never equals to success, faulty assumptions, mistaken beliefs.
It's also popular to think if you have dreams, goals and aspirations and you listen to coaches, teachers and motivational speakers and read their books things will work out. But I know many people, who's read books and listened to speakers for many years and till now can only quote them and refer to what they said. In their personal lives and with their goals, they have nothing to show.
Dear friend it is futile to assume the answers to life's questions. You must know the answers to your quest in life. Don't just assume if you do this and do that things would work out, you must be sure. If it doesn't work out as planned, let it not be because you weren't sure, let it be that something unexpected frustrated your strategy.
Talking now of strategies, do you have a personal strategy for accomplishments in life.
Brands have strategies; companies have strategies, don't you then think you should have a strategy for accomplishing your own purpose?
Why do you set the kind of goals you set? How relevant are those goals to what you want and where you're going? Do you make up your mind to read two books a month because Muyiwa Afolabi said you should? Or in view of where you're going in life, reading two books a month is necessary?
Even if reading is important, what kind of materials or books should you be reading?
Goal setting must be purposeful. A friend recently called me and was lamenting seriously about his career. He works in the corporate affairs of a company and was hoping to become the public affairs manager someday; a very hardworking staff, committed, dedicated and studious. But year after year this dream keeps eluding him, he doesn't know why but I do and I've told him why.
Becoming a public affairs manager is not just about hard work or being committed or dedicated.
It's a craft; you must be charismatic, intelligent with words, have a good command of English and be a people person.
These should be the areas my friend should be focusing on; it's not just in working very hard and sucking up to the boss.
In achieving your purpose, you must be it, to have it. In life you really don't chase your dreams, you attract your dreams by becoming the dream, your dream is not ahead of you; it's on the inside of you. You manifest your dreams, you don't chase it. You grow and develop to become it; then the world would acknowledge you have what it takes and patronize you and pay you for it.
Many of us are anxious to improve our circumstances but not anxious to improve our selves. Our circumstances can't improve if we do not improve. Ability, not ambition, delivers dreams. Develop in you what it takes to handle and deliver your dream and the dream would naturally gravitate towards you.
It is you that you need to work on, it's not the school you went to, the grades you finished with, the money you're making or the man you think should be toasting you not the other not so classy girl, when you become it, all you want would find you.
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]

So informative.

God is the only true judge, but if this is true, I'm highly disappointed.

Chikungunya Virus Infects More Than 1
Million in Americas
A debilitating mosquito-borne virus, called
Chikungunya, has stricken more than 1
million people in the Western Hemisphere
since spreading there a year ago.
The Pan-American Health Organization
reports 155 reported deaths as of
December 12, almost all in the Caribbean
island nations of Guadeloupe and
Martinique. There have been 1,900 cases
reported in travelers returning to the
United States.
Chikungunya is marked by severe joint pain,
inflammation, headaches, rashes and fever.
If the infection is severe enough, it can lead
to death. Symptoms can persist for months
in those who survive, causing debilitating
arthritis.
The virus, which has symptoms similar to
dengue fever, has long been a scourge in
Asia and Africa. In fact the name,
Chikungunya, comes from the African
Makonde dialect, meaning “bending over in
pain.”
There is currently no vaccine or treatment
for the disease.
Chikungunya is carried by two mosquito
species -- Aedes aegypti and Aedes
albopictus -- that also transmit the dengue
virus. Chikungunya, which is carried in the
blood, is picked up by mosquitoes after
they bite an infected person and spread
when the insects then bite uninfected
individuals.
Public health officials worry that the virus
could persist in the Americas for months, as
climate conditions in the tropical countries
are ripe for the insect carriers to flourish.
They warn that Chikungunya cases could
escalate in a number of South American
countries, including Brazil, Peru and
Paraguay, with the approach of the summer
months.
Source: http://m.voanews.com/a/chikungunya-virus-has-infected-more-than-1-million-in-americas/2570840.html

Op, source please.

I think God really needs you.
You escaped being listed as Sambisa victims and also survived the deadly and incurable Ebola.
Just goand do a special thanksgiving this December.

There is another development on this. Check it out. https://www.nairaland.com/2050279/tompolo-war-ship-gun-boat#28984774

Second time this man will be making sense on national issues.

The Couple deserve justice and they must get it.