₦airaland Forum

raumdeuter:
I have but IMO it doesn't make sense, You wey dey in position to help today might need help tomorrow, In this small time we don live for life we have seen many things happen a little act of kindness goes a long way without playing God

Like crystaltiger said, You marry 2nd born, the first born come die, will you divorce him or her

If you read my post, I said, if you marry someone who is indifferent or doesn't carry that responsibility then it is different. It will be a difficult adjustment to spring that responsibility to a spouse and yourself.

If the 2nd son has never being active or involved, then it doesn't change when 1st son dies. Also, let me clarify, I have seen families where it is even the last son that is responsible and shoulders the responsibility of the family. It can be anyone in the family but for most, it is the 1st son/ daughter.

My point is, if you know someone is a certain way, is integral to his original family, don't enter with the mindset of changing or stopping him from being who he is.

raumdeuter:
Just marry person wey dey kind and considerate

Instead of all these I dont want first son, first daughter, person wey get mama etc. Abi shey make his/her own future daughter inlaw dey pray say make she die before when his/her son marry

Abi she sef wey marry and dey born, no be person go marry his first son/daughter

The person that thinks they have covered all their bases, no marry 1st son, 1st daughter, MIL dead, what if life situations happen to them?

It doesnt even have to be bad, Life progress, A chairman and madam in Kogi when their kid dey find job for Lagos or New York or London, he cant transfer his father mansion from Kogi to Lagos/London/New York, Na person sef go first help am settle down

I agree with you but are you telling me you have never met people with the mindset I am talking about?

TemporaryHansel:


Interesting question.

I just hope some of us don't get labelled tribalistic by Ronald later on when we share our opinions on this matter.

Rest! I have never called you or anyone tribalistic, even though there is nothing wrong with health tribalism.

I am more worried about ethnocentrism than tribalism.

CrystalTiger:
Rules and regulations akaria nu biko 🤣🤣

All these ones na wetin person go consider finish? So if the person doing all these things now dies and the "burden" now falls on your spouse, what then happens?

Hahaha.. Yes oh! You never meet pesin wen go tell you say they can't marry a 1st son or daughter? It get why oh! You neva hear woman wen go tell you say she can't marry a man wen him mama dey alive?

If the pesin die, e die with the pesin. That is why I said, know who you dey marry.

izzou:
I am being sincere.

Because we are married doesn't mean I cannot sacrifice for my family.

So if my Sister (God forbid) loses all and falls to ground zero, I should not help her because I have rules?

Very funny.

This is why everybody, beyond the Love for our partners, you need to know their partners well well oh! Here is what I mean...

Knowing and understanding your partner's position and role in the family is one half of the battle. Don't marry a 1st son who is very active and important to his family including extended family and then think you can cage him or stop him from playing his role after marriage, a role he has been actively playing before meeting you.

Or marry an active Adanne and get mad she is involved in the lives of her siblings or coordinating the affairs of her original family because it comes with the territory. That isn't the time to remind her "you are now married and should focus on your home". Alaye, you met her as an active and involved Adanne, it is not going to change just like that.

My rule is, as long as he or she continues to be a responsible partner, prioritizes and manages the affairs of his/her family well, then there should be no issue.

Now, if your spouse is indifferent and doesn't shoulder any of those responsibilities then thank your stars. Its like getting married to someone and suddenly telling him or her to stop supporting their parents even when it doesn't affect the family. Na why some people no dey marry 1st sons or daughters or a child that is very active in his family and I respect that choice because it is not easy.

BlueRayDick:
The woman is emotionally attached to the house. I feel wants the husband to see them staying in the house she inherited as her own little way of contributing financially to the marriage.

The wise thing for her to do is to put up the house for rent [/b]and move in with her husband in the newly rented space he got. [b]It appears the man still loves her and he's only waiting for her to take that step to save the marriage.

The first embolden is my thought as well. She needs to put the house up for rent and use the proceeds to support the family financially, if financial support and not control is her angle.

On the 2nd embolden, there are times in a union/ relationship where choices made by one partner is sabotaging the relationship/ marriage but they can't see it or they see it but can't get out of it. If he continues to wait for her, she may cause irreparable damage to the relationship. 6 months in and she is still saying she has apologized but he has refused to return, instead extended the rent, that doesn't sound like a woman who knows her actions are sabotaging the marriage.

izzou:
The man already knows his wife; The type that likes to own theirs and enjoy yours.

A woman who wants to right the wrong would have packed her property into his home, and rent hers

Rather, she still dey "Her house", and is expecting him to go back there.

Akuko Mike...

The embolden solves the problem for any woman who really wants her marriage to work. Living in her family house isn't comfortable for the man and his original instincts about it were right. If there isn't more to it, she should pack her children back to wherever her husband is and continue with the marriage. The husband needs to also be clear about this expectation. He is enabling and accommodating a bad behavior by allowing her remain in her family home. She needs to pick a side.

BlueRayDick:
I think one of the principles a man must live by is to never move into a house owned by or paid for by his wife under any circumstance whatsoever.

I have to agree with you. There are certain decisions that are non-negotiable for me because this outcome was inevitable. It takes a very very special and rare woman to not ridicule a man privately, silently or publicly whenever she carries the burden of the family even if it for a short time.

Also, the man corrected his mistake by moving out, but what exactly is the wife still doing in the family house? Does she need anyone to tell her it is time to move herself and the kids to the 3 bedroom apartment? Does she want to still remain married? Because as it stands, they are separated. E no go hard oga for find woman wen go give am peace of mind because as a man, if your partner can’t give you peace of mind, the culminating effect on your life may even end a man.

darkelf:
Please, can the GSW backroom staff and front office tell Draymond green the truth of how he has been a liability to us for the past 5 seasons

Let him retire from my team abeg!!!

Even the creativity he is touting is almost non-existent now

The way he shouts "smartness", you'll think he is on double-digit assists per game but he's just on a measly 6 assists per game

Which kain liability be this fgs??

A 27m dollar per year liability ooo!!!!

SmooshCHN has been wailing consistently about moving on from him for 7 years now.

diggz:
All these PE teachers pretending to be football coaches. How Leyqute Amorim use collect 2 kondo for house? Someone should please check on Roland17, if Arteta no kill my brother, na Leyqute Amorim naim go finish am at this rate 😆

Those fools have perfected how to put my emotions on rollercoaster. How the hell do you go from beating Inter to losing to 10 man Ferencváros AT HOME!

Arteta tried his best to end me before last season but it is now obvious that these ones are actively after my life. These fools blew our UCL spot in the final games of last season and now they are embarrassing themselves with performances like this. Y. Musah was playing like he was drunk, werey has no business starting for our Youth academy at this point sef.

As dem score that first goal, I just tell myself to lookaway.

We will finally be playing at home again on Saturday, it feels like forever. The lads have shown a lot of mental fortitude to get the necessary points away from home.
#COYG

A type of politics that did not improve our economic realities. Food and grocery prices have skyrocketed. How about gas and diesel? Our relationship with allies? Especially Canada and Mexico?

You have no idea the looks I have gotten every time I visit Canada to vacation or spend time with family/ friends. Tariffs? Used irresponsibly…

You told us the Democrats mismanaged the economy and we punished them, only for you to be worse than the Democrats with shameful levels of incompetence laced with corruption.

IjeBos:
Too late for Rubio.
He tainted himself with Trump.

I have to agree, especially if he plans to once again separate himself from Trump, heading into the Presidential Election cycle. However, he is the most sensible that can move the needle for them while keeping the Republican base.

IjeBos:
How did all those "Dems are leaving Blue states for Texas" work out for you?
Bwahahahhahaha

The cities bordering Mexico, especially in Texas burned the Republicans. They lost virtually all of those cities, cities where they thought they had flipped eternally. Someone on FOX conceded there is a MAGA/ Trump fatigue in the party and to me, that is the summary of yesterday’s election for the Republican Party.

raumdeuter:
America spoke and we respect the voice of Americans

You haven't told us or defined what MAGA is. What exactly are Maga in your views or what are their policies that you are against

I am uninterested in a headless reel about the definition of MAGA to me or to you or to Americans.

Whatever you define it as, Americans were clear yesterday that we don’t want any more of that type of identity and divisive politics.

Marco Rubio is the most sensible option if his competition is Vance and he would be deluded to use MAGA as his base. We already know how he really feels about Trump.

cococandy:
Hi dearest. I’m alive. I was in the middle of my DNP exams and needed to take some time off to concentrate. But in the middle of that, I lost my dad to a hit and run (and probably drunk) driver.

I’ve been staying away for my sanity, hoping to retain what little mental capacity I can, and to be there for my family through the grief.


On the bright side, What a victory for America these results are. We have Trump to thank for this. He showed the people what conservatism really is and I’m glad it was rejected soundly .

Cc IjeBos, unlimited, armyofone and everyone else who asked. Thank you guys. Evil did not prevail!

Please pop champagne on my behalf. I’ll celebrate another time and hopefully by then we would have rid the country of the cruelty and toxicity that’s been plaguing it for the last two years.

Nneoma, I am sorry for the loss of your dad. Biko, take it easy and take your time to grief.

raumdeuter:
What is MAGA to you that he will make him use or not use it

MAGA is the monster you enabled that has now become the Elephant in the room no one wants to be associated with.

In the past every candidate used MAGA to sell their candidacy, they sought Trumps approval but reality hit and most refused to even use MAGA for their banners, they did not want to even identify with it or say they are running under the Republican Party.

We were very loud about what we want, we made a statement yesterday and it was clear. Remember, you used the same line when Trump won, you said Americans spoke with one voice and yesterday we did once again!

raumdeuter:
This same party won an election with same population 2yrs ago

This same post mortem of the Republican was done after Romney lost in 2012 declaring that republicans will never win another election in the country but we came back and won 2 presidential elections after that

You seriously think in 2 years, Marco Rubio will be relying on MAGA to win the Presidential Elections if he becomes your nominee?

You seriously think in 2 years, candidates for HOR and Senate will still use MAGA? If una try am again, it will be another beating.

Omo Fox News be like burial ground.

raumdeuter:
Yeah we will see how that turns out in 2yrs

Obama lost massively in 2010 and won 2yrs later

Same with Reagan same with Clinton

We.meet again in 2yrs and compare notes

The voting population has changed significantly Dayo. While history is important in politics, the dynamics of the voting population is just as important.

If your party doesn’t address the elephant in the room, you are going to struggle during the next cycle. Your party hasn’t done enough to win voters outside of your base. You lost the voters that propelled Trump.

GloriousGbola:
Dems should not do any decorum or nice guy

first to do no dey pain

lawfare, retribution, purge the doj , deal with musk , regulate social media, probe the trump crime family

do it all

Do all of that but they can’t get distracted by those. Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is heading from every aspect. The Democrats can’t repeat the same mistake they made during the presidential election. We run a politics of consequence here. They need to focus on real economic issues that is affecting us, everything else will be secondary.

raumdeuter:
Congratulations to the Democrats candidates who won

We go again in 2 years time

God bless the USA the greatest country ever existed

Dayo, you guys freaking lost Texas! Like Texas!!!!!

I don’t know if we have ever had a more obvious demand for a shift in our politics.

Americans have made a very clear and loud statement with this election. Nobody is above the country.

The Republican Party has a serious decision to make while Democrats better understand the opportunity in front of them. We run a politics of consequence and it is played out once again..

greypencils:
Na Roland dey look skill. Me dey look at bumbum. If for say I dey yankee na, I go done hustle for courtside seat, make I look the bumbum dey go.

Skill? Where? Na mental strength and resilience me Dey look. You have to give her that when you consider her journey.

Choices have consequences…

raumdeuter:
Which thread?

My apologies, I na United thread I wan post am. Make I delete sharp sharp.

Error!

PSG need to dey play some games with 8 players only! 0-4 already? As how na?

iamoyindamola:
willo is back

The Rose of dem all!

Welcome back Agba!

Ihebu4chelsea:
Ada ukwu!!!

I dey tell you! Correct Ada Ukwu! E no easy.

Ibime:
So you are one of the wicked uncles that participate in billing young men?

Haha.. Na we dey even help make the process easy for men.

No one goes into a dowry ceremony with the intent of holding our daughters hostage.. naaaa.

If na bride, we know she will be going. I don see situation when we had to take a break for a few minutes and come back into the room.

Spy360:
It is quite untraditional for this to happen. I think it is beyond merely paying the bride price. I see animosity between the groom/bride and that wicked uncle.

They may be calling his bluff while his showing them pepper 😂

You are absolutely right. Dowry bargaining for the most part, irrespective of the back and forth is done in good faith with the understanding that the bride is going to her husband’s place.

To your point and like most of us have said, this isn’t a normal occurrence.