₦airaland Forum

We are still upset about the loss of the baby, however we have decided to try again once his papers come through and he has his residency, we are looking at November approx according to his solicitor, at this point we will get married first and then try again for another baby, hopefully we will be luckier this time, thanks for posting, looking forward to our future xxxx

Sometimes, its easy to get cynical, if we had a baby he would not be entitled to stay in the UK, we would have to go back to Africa and live there unless we got married, and he has said that he would never marry a lady for a Visa. Sometimes people get pregnant after two months and have the baby and are very happy and then go on to have more children.My Uncle got someone pregnant after 2 months married her and they are very happy, or seem to be, and they are successful professional people too. After spending time with him today I beleive he does have alot of feelings for me and my insecurity is a bit unecessary. Naughty bug24 dont talk about closing my thread, Ill report you to MrBrown and he'll get you tested for every STD under the sun every 3 months whether you want it or not.

Rosetinted

I am going to give some advice that I need to take myself, take your time, someones character is revealed over time. I am too trusting also, then I do stupid things and get hurt,

@ BUG24 yeah i think love is blind, I'm dead honest and too trusting me,
@MrBrownJay , I was thinking before about what a crank you must be to post stuff at the level you have, I thought this guy needs help, it's funny you should say I need counselling as I thought you needed a bit yourself, perhaps you could babysit for me whilst I go to counselling, or maybe we can go together, sometimes they offer group discount I believe Seems like we both need to sort our heads out anyway,

Cheers,

Rosetinted

If your read my original post I ask for honest advice, and that is what I have got read browncoco and others. Yours actually made me smile to be honest when you said watch out for the chameleon, had a little giggle tbh. But I just sense you are lonely somehow ? Pehaps when I get myself pregnant again after two months by some other nigerian,or my current boyfriend if I dont lose the baby , maybe you would consider babysitting for me a little company for you, food for thought anyhow,

MrBrown Jay.

R U Lonely by any chance ? you just come across that way

xx

Hi Everyone,

I went to the hospital yesterday for my check up scan after the miscarriage and he made sure that he was there for me. The scan was fine, he said that in time we can try for another baby but not yet we need a break from losing the first, he said we should also wait until he has his papers. I was still going on to him about how he left me all alone and he only called and text me when I was miscarrying, he said to me it was because of the way I treat him. He said that he is tired of my friends and even me suspecting that he is after a visa. He said that when I lost the baby he felt a million miles away from me and was ready to finish me because he was truly tired of us suspecting he is after a visa. He said that he was going to finish me and then call me when the Home Office have provided him with his documents so that he can stay and then try to make it work with me when I havent got this suspicion that he wants a visa in the back of my mind. I think he was working so many hours in that period when I lost the baby so that he had an escape/distraction.

Thanks for reading,

Thanks for your reply everyone

It's very good of you all to take the time, browncoco, i think what you are saying is correct, a man wants to be there when his lady friend is not well, esp if she is miscarrying, even though he can't stop the bleedng he can comfort her, maybe even help her with the shopping etc.I believe God took away this baby for a reason, thank God what doesn't kill us will only make us stronger, for now i will keep my distance and not sleep with him, any man worth his salt would understand. I know two months is too early to get pregnant with someone, I don't think I was smart.

It's disgusting to just say something to get into someone pants !

Hello Everyone,

I am posting on here to get some advice about my Nigerian boyfriend. We had been together for just 2 months when I fell pregnant, he seemed happy, had lots of ideas of how to bring our baby up, what to call the baby etc although he stopped "chasing," me as much.  Sadly I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, for 3 days after the miscarriage I was calling his mobile 1,00000 times desperate for him to visit me, he didn't come to see me in those whole 3 days, he normally visited me every day or every other day . I explained that I was bleeding and it was hard to be going through this alone and I needed him by my side. He did call and text every day and his excuse was that he was busy working, college work, church ( anything he could say ) I did not take any time off work as I had just moved to a new city and at least being in work I wasn't alone ( although it was hard going into work and nursing people) Basically I told him that I feel that I cannot move forward and forgive him for what he did to me and everytime I think of him I think of how he dishonoured me. He is now claiming that in Nigeria when a woman miscarries the man does not see her for a few days and its in his blood. He said its a tradition. Is this true ? Sounds like a load of crap to me. We have only been together for 5 months and I dont know whether to forgive and continue or move on. When I got pregnant people said that he had got me pregnant for a visa as his work permit expires in April and he would have a better chance of staying in the UK with a baby in the UK. I'm not perfect atall but this behaviour seems totally unacceptable by English standards, can anyone shed any light on the matter ? Nothing can hurt me that you say, I would rather just know the truth , 

Thanks

Rose