₦airaland Forum

Kaycee7:
YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

Both the Op who reeks of insecurity and inferiority complex, all of you who couldn't note that Op is the one with issues and most especially, the immature idiots who have already rushed to the conclusion that the wife is cheating, YOU ALL DISGUST ME!

Amhappy:
My guess is that Your wife is not cheating so don't do anything irrational. However you need to make her end the overly association with her exes. It's not healthy for your marriage.

Diligentnigga:
Exactly bro u are on the right path to getting her back to her senses,,trust me you,,shes missing u and shes thinking about it also and feeling guilty somehow,, sometimes some issues are best tackled with silence,,before this week runs out am sure u will see changes

Ignore all d post dat shes cheatin on u and stuffs d truth is shes not,,if she was she wudnt mention the exes in d ist place she wud rather lie to u dat she wanna go c a friend,,she said her ex to u cos she was thinking u would trust her the more and stuffs...but truth is shes immature to knw in marriage exes are exes,,u restrict ur communication with them to d bearest minimal,,

Since u said u were harsh at ist during 2017 and sshe complained about it theres no point being harsh just b quiet and b patient with her in a very hard way,,like not sleeping with her ignoring her food and all she will definitely cum back to her senses

horpigee1:
Let her know that ex is ex, and bygone is bygone.... I dnt really know why people still take der exes so important...

Pls ask her this questions.....why did u guys become an ex? Her answers should be BTW one of this listed below..... Bcus we are not compatible, bcus he always beat me, bcus he make me cry, bcus he wasn't caring, bcus he cheat on me and so on.

Let her know that those guys she dated b4 they broked up wouldn't have become an ex if those guys really loved her wen they were dating.

Let go to the main point.. I tink she took her exes decisions than urs. . U are getting to the stage where ur decisions won't be relevant if u dnt take proper steps b4 it too late

I tink I av a couple of solutions to ur issue

It not gonna easy but just give it a trial, stop taking her so important, stop discussing an important issues with her, at times u can just go to kitchen and make a meals for urself (am not saying you should not eat her fud o)

When woman realised that they are no more important in the house again, they find a way to amend der mistakes.

Let me give u an example..... In economy, wen d producer or d manufacturer realised that people are no more patronised der products again , u knw wat they do?? They started find a way to upgrade der goods in other to gain peoples hrt.... That's why Toyota camry produce different types of cars every year, and that is why teckno produce different types of phones to upgrade der products.

Wen ur woman realised that she is no longer important then she gonna find a ways to upgrade herself.
God bless you marriage

As an hip hop artist.. I need a record label

BookEditor:
You are simply at fault. The fault is from you.

Why did you allow your wife to be your own boos, to boss you around? She is not the type of woman that should be handled the way you're handling her. I think you need serious marriage counseling. Even your wife needs serious marriage counseling too.

It's the way you lay your bed that's how you will lie on it. Marriage is a lifetime journey and anyone who is not willing to get into it with full commitment should not even go in at all.

The fault lies more on her side for all her behavior but on your own part, your fault is not being firm with her and allowing certain things you're not supposed to allow in your marriage.

When you show a woman all the love needed in a marriage, then you also as a man be firm with her and refuse to allow her do certain things and put your foot down or else you will lay the foundation for the collapse of your marriage. I can assure you that if I counsel you for 5 straight hours, I will speak senses into you. I'm talking with going to 2 decades of experience.

First of all, why did you allow her that very first time to go meet her ex in the media? That was your first mistake. The moment you allowed her to meet any of her ex the first time you must continue to allow her with her other exes or else trouble will be let loose. Women are not logical in nature. They are highly emotional and have no iota of logic in them when it comes to relationship issues. It's you the man that will know that you must not allow it.

Just like a child crying for you to give him sweet even when the doctor has medically warned you that this child should never eat sweet and that if he eats sweet his illness will deteriorate. Will you now say because the child is crying seriously you give him the sweet? Won't you find something else to give him? Because the child doesn't think logically and may even put his hand inside fire.

The same thing with women. You are more logical than them as a man. So you will tactically block every opportunity or thing that will make her vulnerable because to her it's harmless but by allowing her, it can turn to something else in future and destroy your marriage.

Also remember that women are not to be given complete freedom to do anything they like because when you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

Secondly, why I said the fault is from you on my first line of this post is because you failed to avoid this kind of problem from the first day of your marriage. If you and your wife dated for long, then you should have known the kind of person she is and from the first day of your marriage, you should have given her a condition to throw her line/sim card away and stop using that line if she is really serious about being with you for the rest of her life. Marriage is a journey and whoever goes into the plough must never look back or take actions that could destroy the marriage.

If I continue to write, I will continue to write on and on because there are a lot things I need to counsel you about and if possible even your wife about marriage which both of you don't seem to understand. That's why you're having issues in your marriage.

pls can i have ur phone number ..i will like to call you

pansophist:
What I have noticed about women is that sometimes, they take actions without understanding the scope of its consequences, focusing only on their own frame, and not the whole picture. Like a chicken happily eating the lined grain in front of her, unrealising that it leads to a trap she most cases than not, won't escape from. And if something bad happens, she and society will blame you for allowing such practice from her, as the mantle of leadership has been given to you, and you didn't stand your ground during the waves.

In marriage, some things should be a complete knockout, a no-go area that must not be tolerated, and keeping contact with exes should be part of it. These are sacrifices parties must make for the flourishment of their marriage, and if both parties will not understand and accept this stone fact, then they are not ripe for the matrimonial institution. Breakups are usually on account of irreconcilable differences, making two people go their separate ways, how come she is still in peaceful contact with not only one, but more than one of her exes, even to a point of disregarding your feelings, the integrity and respect of your marriage, even after repeated warnings? This doesn't seem right.

You should from now henceforth, sternly make it clear that you will not tolerate any of such visits again, and make her understand that there are consequences, which must be enforced if she tries to test your backbone (which she will). For the meantime, you may report her to people you know she has respect for (e.g her parents, pastors, etc), making them also understand the consequences you will take it she repeats such next time. A complex problem requires complex solutions.

Lastly, and most importantly, to be able to project your mantle of leadership, you MUST make sure that your traditional duties and responsibilities as are a man are met (the 5 P's), especially to Preside (lead), protect, provide, produce and penetrate (good sex). It is unnegotiable. If after you've done all these, and see no changes, well, I leave to you to take solutions you deem sufficient and accept that you can't change people if they do want to. Goodluck.

Kendumazy:
You need to show some actions that she doesn't really matter since she doesn't want to do the right thing or doesn't respect your feelings. You need to show some actions that you can live without her. If you show these actions and she doesn't bitterly apologize to save her marriage. Then, you need to work on separation cos your peace of mind is one of your most priorities. Sorry, if I sound as if I want to destroy your marriage. Hell No! The truth is that, it takes iron hand and iron heart to handle a kind of your woman.

Kendumazy:
You need to stop been a good boy to handle her. She's taking advantage of the good man in you.

greatnaija01:
You are NOT at fault sir, so pls calm down.

PLS Forgive her.... your wife like most women... does not know the value of the kind of man she has and also she is the immature one.... she has not learned SUBMISSION.... submission is NOT slavery BUT it is letting the man be the HEAD of the HOME... she can only LEARN BY EXPERIENCE... that is the bitter truth.

If not for you, she may have rekindled an old flame in one of the EXes and that may lead to FLIRTING and at the end of the day THEY WILL BE BLAMING THE DEVIL UPANDAN.

Wisdom to apply now is, allow her but Go with her if you can. If she is not comfortable to go with you then SHE HAS OTHER MOTIVES O.....

also CLONE her PHONE.. so that any sms, calls or whatsapp she receives gets into your own phone too.... then u will be able to really handle this thing from the root. When you gather proper facts and evidencies then u can reveal it to family members or church leaders and they can decide what course of action to take.

YOU do not have to be angry yet because she can still say you are just being too sensitive and over protective. In quiet wisdom any hidden thing can be revealed.

Explain to her in LOVE but have a back up plan.
many people hide so much of their true nature till they marry.... their vision for marriage ends with the wedding reception... afterwards a character they never manifested before begins to show up.