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What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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My Wife Said Her Ex-Boyfriends Are Better Than Me / My 18-Year-Old Maid And Her Boyfriends / Fire Kills Isaiah Terungwa Jonatha, His Wife And Their 3 Children In Kano (2) (3) (4)

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Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by tillaman(m): 9:50am On Mar 18
Honest truth is if she keeps doing this then one of those so called exes will lay her again especially if they have laid with one another while they dated which am sure they did please talk to her brother I mean the pastor cause an Ex trying to get her attention and she’s giving in is a NO NO which means she still prolly harbours an atom of feeling for the dude and trust me any one on one encounter would lead to Kerewa I swear please curb her before it’s too late and perhaps how many exes she get sef haba or did you even beg her to marry you ni why would she keep contacting her Exes I mean they are suppose to be nothing but memories to her a part of her past and she has to make sure it stays that way!! I wish you enough bro and I feel your pain too
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by Noblefirstlady: 9:50am On Mar 18
Oyindidi:
If my oga stop to eat my food I go happy ogrin less stress for me. Why men dey feel like not eating our food na punishmentgrin
Dear you mean it's not a punishment for you?
For me if you want me to fall sick then my husband should just stop eating my food

4 Likes

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by Neil0072009(m): 9:50am On Mar 18
ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take
Seriously you have tired I understand that but your wife is just taking you for a fool I advise you kick her out she is a useless person seriously
Do this and thank me later?
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by Nobody: 9:51am On Mar 18
Randy100:
I am not married but I am not single.
When you marry, then we can argue your previous comment. grin

1 Like

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by STRENGTHesq(m): 9:51am On Mar 18
Randy100:
Be civil young man. It is not a must that we will agree on the same point.


I expected you to come up with a point that will counter my point.
apologies
smiley
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by teepain: 9:51am On Mar 18
ruddyman500:


i honestly think so bro but i dont want to rush into taking rash decisions cos i know myself very well i do stand by any decision i make and nobody can change my mind on it

You don't have to make rash decisions but you can draw the lines and set the limits firmly. Tell her what the consequences might be if she crosses the line beforehand.

From your narrative, she possibly have seen that you would always shift ground as you have always done, anytime she prodded you.
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by rawfact: 9:51am On Mar 18
Kendumazy:
You need to stop been a good boy to handle her. She's taking advantage of the good man in you.

That is why one shouldn't be so fast to judge a husband for being strict on his wife, even when some classify it as maltreatment. Physical abuse should be avoided though.

Some ladies are just wired for strict husbands due to their upbringing/past-life while some are meant for easy-going, gentle and cool-headed husband. Such is life.

4 Likes

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by Deltatoto: 9:52am On Mar 18
ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take
its good to marry a virgin.
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by AntiBrutus: 9:53am On Mar 18
I no read the long story finish, but from the comments here...did a married woman go visit her ex? And the husband allowed it?

This one weak me.

1 Like

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by icankel: 9:53am On Mar 18
Any married woman who still gets bothered by exes cheats, do wateva u can to caution her because if she contact any virus she will transfer them to u.

1 Like

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by BookEditor(m): 9:53am On Mar 18
You are simply at fault. The fault is from you.

Why did you allow your wife to be your own boos, to boss you around? She is not the type of woman that should be handled the way you're handling her. I think you need serious marriage counseling. Even your wife needs serious marriage counseling too.

It's the way you lay your bed that's how you will lie on it. Marriage is a lifetime journey and anyone who is not willing to get into it with full commitment should not even go in at all.

The fault lies more on her side for all her behavior but on your own part, your fault is not being firm with her and allowing certain things you're not supposed to allow in your marriage.

When you show a woman all the love needed in a marriage, then you also as a man be firm with her and refuse to allow her do certain things and put your foot down or else you will lay the foundation for the collapse of your marriage. I can assure you that if I counsel you for 5 straight hours, I will speak senses into you. I'm talking with going to 2 decades of experience.

First of all, why did you allow her that very first time to go meet her ex in the media? That was your first mistake. The moment you allowed her to meet any of her ex the first time you must continue to allow her with her other exes or else trouble will be let loose. Women are not logical in nature. They are highly emotional and have no iota of logic in them when it comes to relationship issues. It's you the man that will know that you must not allow it.

Just like a child crying for you to give him sweet even when the doctor has medically warned you that this child should never eat sweet and that if he eats sweet his illness will deteriorate. Will you now say because the child is crying seriously you give him the sweet? Won't you find something else to give him? Because the child doesn't think logically and may even put his hand inside fire.

The same thing with women. You are more logical than them as a man. So you will tactically block every opportunity or thing that will make her vulnerable because to her it's harmless but by allowing her, it can turn to something else in future and destroy your marriage.

Also remember that women are not to be given complete freedom to do anything they like because when you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

Secondly, why I said the fault is from you on my first line of this post is because you failed to avoid this kind of problem from the first day of your marriage. If you and your wife dated for long, then you should have known the kind of person she is and from the first day of your marriage, you should have given her a condition to throw her line/sim card away and stop using that line if she is really serious about being with you for the rest of her life. Marriage is a journey and whoever goes into the plough must never look back or take actions that could destroy the marriage.

If I continue to write, I will continue to write on and on because there are a lot things I need to counsel you about and if possible even your wife about marriage which both of you don't seem to understand. That's why you're having issues in your marriage.

4 Likes

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by tillaman(m): 9:54am On Mar 18
Oyindidi:
If my oga stop to eat my food I go happy ogrin less stress for me. Why men dey feel like not eating our food na punishmentgrin
you would be making a big mistake if you don’t beg him or find out why he stopped eating your food trust me!! If your oga sees one super talented youngster that is ready to give him some nice delicacies and some mad stunts on bed I mean some life changing styles then you would come to Nairaland to tell us how some men can be a bum meanwhile it’s all your fault cause of laziness and Negligence

1 Like

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by charris76: 9:54am On Mar 18
My brother, there is this wise saying that if you are still a friend to your ex, it means you have not truly broken up, its time you stamp on your authority, and tell her to either choose between her exes or you.
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by ruddyman500: 9:54am On Mar 18
Kendumazy:


You need to show some actions that she doesn't really matter since she doesn't want to do the right thing or doesn't respect your feelings. You need to show some actions that you can live without her. If you show these actions and she doesn't bitterly apologize to save her marriage. Then, you need to work on separation cos your peace of mind is one of your most priorities. Sorry, if I sound as if I want to destroy your marriage. Hell No! The truth is that, it takes iron hand and iron heart to handle a kind of your woman.


thanks so much bro i really appreciate your sincere opinions its as if u read my mind ..that is exactly what i planned to do and i have even started already this morning ...its not as if am a soft guy but she was the one that complained back in 2017 that i was too harsh that i should stop treating her as if she is my enemy...based on that i really worked on myself to change and i showed her love and gave her the best of all i could afford . She greeted me this morning and i answered and she went tp prepare food but i did not eat ..just told her am off to the office .I think i have ro revert back to my old self if that is what will work.....My peace of mind is paramount in all these bro....I have also called that her pastor brother this morning and he was just full of surprises, he said i have kept quite for too long that he cant take such arrant nonsense even as a pastor...He said he will get back to me as soon as he leaves office today

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Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by STRENGTHesq(m): 9:55am On Mar 18
Celestial777:



cheesy





What you don't know about this kind of girls is that once they are after you they will spend there own money for you. Give you sex like say na food.
Years back i have a girl store my name with future husband. Where she has other guys name stored as sweet heart and the rest. I only have sex with this girl once in a month with a lot of campaign and manifestos
Little did I know that there is a guy who is a guy that bleep her on the go. I got to know that the guy store her name as sure pussy. I was told by her co tenant that once the guy come around to sleep in her hostel na hard hard Bleep after the guy done smoke igbo finish.
Then jedi jedi won kill me as i like chocolate and cakes so much. My younger sister is a baker so i get enough pastries.
Baba this sugry stuff no even dey allow my dick enter govt house before it deliver its promises.
I notice the electorate (my girl friend) don t like it that way cos she will want me to demolish buildings and build new road like apc govt.
But sugars will not let me and my woman has turn herself to freelance journalist.
While we are planning our introduction.
She never complain once about me cos she is addicted to them outside and it seems all her anti party activities are in born
When I discovered all this I just suspend her like they did to Amosun and Okorocha
I move on.
grin
Abeg take care of your Jedi Jedi abeg
#Teamstrong cool

1 Like

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by Eddygourdo(m): 9:55am On Mar 18
Oga, I believe you are being childish and overly sensitive about your wife's movements.

You need to make this EX's of hers our ex and start going on such visits with her. Especially as something warranted those visits (events and eventualities).

Don't let her see you as someone who suffocates the life out of her, rather let her be free and watch her closely to ensure she doesn't go astray.

Clone her phones, get into her business in a stealth manner but do not cage her. Caging kills love.

Cheers.
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by otipoju(m): 9:55am On Mar 18
exlink10:
Your situation is frustrating and believe me, I understand what you are going through.

But hear me well, you are not at fault.

Most women will never know the gold they have until they lose it. Thats the sad thing about experience. You always going to learn in a hard way. To me, reporting her to anybody will further solidify her stupidity and even makes you too desperate but unfortunately, that is the only recurs you have.

For me, each time I'm discussing something with my wife, she will always bring in or mention the name of her ex. At times, i get angry and sometimes I warn her that I don't want to hear that name again. But she keeps saying it almost all other days but she won't even use ear to hear "babym"...lol which is what my own ex and I use to call each other.

So I now knew her own "code" and I used it against her. So what I now do is, each time we are discussing and she mentions her ex, I will find a way to mention "babym" when am replying her. And lo and behold, that issue has been solved till today. Even though she mistakenly mentions ify's name, which her ex, I will also mistaken mentions "babym" and tell her it was a mistake.

umuwnayi.... you just have to be creative and think outside the box to handle them, else you end up being a 'mini-man' and push them away.

This issue, only married men can understand. Within one month of getting married, it dawned on me that the way you will treat your girlfriends drama is not the same way you will treat your wifes drama. The dynamic is entirely different.

This your way of handling this issue is the only practical way. No amount of talking or pleading will make her see reason. Some people will never understand the pain they are causing you with their stupid actions until you pay them back in their own coin.

This man even has a good way to resolve it since the ex lives five minutes away. Let him go and visit her and let the wife know and you will see how she will go green with envy and lament.

4 Likes

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by AndLeo(m): 9:56am On Mar 18
She might married you because you were the one available for marriage. She is still emotional unstable and it will take time before your marriage will stabilize. For now she will satisfy herself with her ex before she come around or if God help you give her sense.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by OhiOfIhima: 9:58am On Mar 18
ruddyman500:


i honestly think so bro but i dont want to rush into taking rash decisions cos i know myself very well i do stand by any decision i make and nobody can change my mind on it


You need to stop been a good boy to handle her. She's taking advantage of the good man in you.



The comment above is just all.. She is taking advantage of you being nice. Next time, let your no be no and ensure to stand by it.. Nothing come along should compromise your no. She will learn.
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by 15ssDRIVE: 9:58am On Mar 18
Diligentnigga:


Nice reply..just patience and quietness,,she will get afraid soonest,,i do dat for my gfs too dat i knw she loves me well,,i dont have time to be dragging or baby sitting women

Boss...if person say Na shouting match with woman,dem go turn person to mad man.

Make God grease our guy pocket and answer his call. Because if person no strong well well, some woman fit Dey use $$ dictates the rule.

Then all he needs to do is activate the mumu,buttons all over. Then hustle like a lion.
Money must be made.

1 Like

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by STRENGTHesq(m): 9:58am On Mar 18
ruddyman500:



thanks so much bro i really appreciate your sincere opinions its as if u read my mind ..that is exactly what i planned to do and i have even started already this morning ...its not as if am a soft guy but she was the one that complained back in 2017 that i was too harsh that i should stop treating her as if she is my enemy...based on that i really worked on myself to change and i showed her love and gave her the best of all i could afford . She greeted me this morning and i answered and she went tp prepare food but i did not eat ..just told her am off to the office .I think i have ro revert back to my old self if that is what will work.....My peace of mind is paramount in all these bro....I have also called that her pastor brother this morning and he was just full of surprises, he said i have kept quite for too long that he cant take such arrant nonsense even as a pastor...He said he will get back to me as soon as he leaves office today
shocked
You are on the right track
I give you that
May Our wonderful Eternal Father be with you and your household smiley

I say iseeeeee!!
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by ruddyman500: 9:58am On Mar 18
[quote author=Oyindidi post=76754162]You do babysitting job as she go see her ex grin no get me wrong, that baby for restrict them if something wrong be want happengrin

She just see them as friends and that friendship dey wrong. One of them fit do bad thing with her one day.

Make her see reason why e dey wrong to go visit any ex. Tell story how men dey take advantage of that kind relationship. Remind her sey old firewood no dey quench. Best of luck in your marriage, you go overcome this challenge, the marriage still young. [/q


i have told her several times of the dangers involved in visiting any ex but the fact that she sees no reason wrong in it makes her believe i too shuld see it from her point of view
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by Alexandro15: 9:59am On Mar 18
Some people giving advice here have never dated a lady seriously, talk more about marriage. Mind the kind of advice you take before you ruin your marriage. Take advice from only those who can boast of at least 15 years of marriage. My take.
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by Quorax: 9:59am On Mar 18
Oyindidi:
If my oga stop to eat my food I go happy ogrin less stress for me. Why men dey feel like not eating our food na punishmentgrin
lol I go add another one join if that doesn't work...see u.
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by Djbeezy23(m): 10:00am On Mar 18
Bro i urge u to be calm because no married woman in her rightful senses will stil b talking abt exes after marriage oga u don enter one chance b that pls am appealing to u now involve ur pastor for cancelling bros this one pass u oo she for tell u say she is not ready for marriage an pls don't even try thinking of cloning her phone because na there matter go worst na heart attack go just kill u for the kind things u go see may God help u osheey
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by STRENGTHesq(m): 10:00am On Mar 18
Eddygourdo:
Oga, I believe you are being childish and overly sensitive about your wife's movements.

You need to make this EX's of hers our ex and start going on such visits with her. Especially as something warranted those visits (events and eventualities).

Don't let her see you as someone who suffocates the life out of her, rather let her be free and watch her closely to ensure she doesn't go astray.

Clone her phones, get into her business in a stealth manner but do not cage her. Caging kills love.

Cheers.
And in your mind of minds she will agree to him accompanying her

*yinmu*
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by sparko1(m): 10:02am On Mar 18
Let me break some things down for you.

1. She's already cheating on you! fact, she just want you to back off! If at anytime a woman compare you with another man, well start looking for a way out. she's gone.

2. Don't ever take the back seat, the first time she asked to visit her ex, allow her and when she returns sit her down and make it a serious issue and if she disagree then, invite people and try and put an end to it right there, if she disagree with everyone, well you let her go.

Don't ever allow a woman dictate to you. If you know you will not like something, say it from the beginning, don't wait until she's want to visit her ex for the 4 time before resolving that issue.

3. The fact that you guys already have problem means something is already wrong, no smoke without fire, did you just lose your job?, do you have money issues?, business not going fine?, did you borrow from her or anyone related to her?, Trust me, most issues are masked in this form. Know where the issue is!

My advice, try to find out exactly what is really going on, maybe neglect, no time for her, or she is the party time and you are the indoor type, you have to find out what is wrong, the ex thing is just a prelude to what she really want.

1 Like

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by b0rn2fuck(m): 10:02am On Mar 18
My brother don enter one chance, starts thinking life after her, even bringing this up here alone gives reason that your thought about her can never remain the same again. You will not trust her again. Get plan b working

2 Likes

Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by nwanyionitsha: 10:03am On Mar 18
ruddyman500:
I got married to my wife in 2017 and we have been living together since, we have a child together but there is this problem with her anytime it has to do with any of her EX. i will cite some of what happened .

She wanted to organise a programme at a time and the person she could think of is one of her ex who happens to be a media guy, i told her point blank that i dont want her to go met the guy but she explained to me how the guy will be of help to her in the programme she is planning, i let her be cos i dont want to be seen as someone throwing spanners in the wheel of her progress, i supported her and the programme was a success.

Another instance was when her mother died, and they were planning the burial ceremony with her brothers...my wife got home and told me that she told her brothers that she will talk to a musician to come play at the ceremony and the said musician happens to be another ex of hers. i told her right there that am not comfortable with it at all how could ur ex come to sing at her mums burial and i will be there dancing to his tunes?...after so much back and forth , i told her i will only attend the church service and i or any of my people will not come for the party, that was when she made last minute changes and went to book another musician.

The last straw that broke the carmels back was yesterday....I and her have been having some issues of late and we talked over it infact we are just coming out of the tensions....then yesterday morning around 8am she told me that another ex of hers called her overnight and told her that his mum just passed away and he could not think of anyone to call but her cos he is so broken, she said she had sent her condolences already but that she will like to go greet the guy and his siblings cos they are in their fathers house [ the guy is still single ooo although they broke up in 2013] and that she will be able to know about the burial arrangements so she can plan on attending the burial..so she asked me for permission if she could go and pay them a visit yesterday..... Normally i wld not have allowed her but i thought what is she didnt tell me and went there and secondly cos of the tension we just went through and i dont want another tension to build again , i told her i will only allow her to either go greet them yesterday or she goes for the burial ...I told her i will only allow her to choose one . She then asked me in strong tone why i didnt wnat her to attend the burial.....At that point i left the room cos i was not ready for another round of arguments.

She did not say anything again until afternoon, i went to my living room and asked her if she is no more going on the visit again she said she already taken her bath and she will go n prepare now ....she entered the room and started dressing up, i went to meet her in the room and i told her that i allowed her to go cos i already gave her the permission but henceforth i will not allow such again ...Told her she is not the only person with exes , i dont allow issues of any of my own ex brew tension in my marriage , i told her i have an ex whose fathers house is just like 5 mins drive from inside the estate we live and when the man died my ex called me ..all i did was send her my condolence over the phone and i explained that i cant come for the burial cos i have a wife at home whose feelings i respect and that it ends there AT that point my wife flared up to the high heavens .....she started ranting that why am i caging her that i should give her reasons why she should not go that am just so obsessed with her am immmature, insecure and bla bla bla. I told her if loving my wife and protecting the dignity and integrity of my family for obsession then she is totally wrong. She said other men will not have any problem with it that why am i making an issue out of the situation, i explained to her that am not other men , What Mr A is comfortable with may not be so with Mr B cos we all have our individual differences .....One problem my wife have is she does not see reasons why i shld not accept what she seems right to her . I then told her to call any of her elder brother and explain this situation to him if he can allow such ....

This is a woman i never restricted her movements ....i only restricted her twice and they are both on health grounds...When she left i did what i have never done before [ i have never reported her to anybody either my family or hers no matter what happens i find a way we can solve it]...i called her very close friend and explained everything to her, the lady was surprised and she promised to talk to her....I also tried to call her elder brother who is a pastor but his phone is switched off and i have not been able to get through to him .When my wife came back
she did not even greet meat all , she came to take our baby from me which i refused her, she went straight into her room, i later went into the room to lay our baby and i went into the guest room to sleep cos am so much in anger and i dont want the neighbors to hear any noise from my flat.

please i need sincere and honest opinion from married people on here ....i want to know if am at fault and secondly what next step should i take
Oga,sorry.
Your wife is not a one woman man. She has way too many exes. Obviously, these exes didn't dump her that is why she is still in good terms with them. She walked out on them.
She definitely seems like someone who can't keep to one sexual partner. You better meet her pastor brother for help, that is if she will take counsel.
You rushed into this marriage. Probably she is a very pretty lady.
For her to even boldly tell she wants to go see her exes is something that should worry you.

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Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by joeking2222: 10:03am On Mar 18
Preshy561:
Tolerating too much nonsense.
Ex kor. undecided
EXTENSION ni......
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by queengift(f): 10:03am On Mar 18
You think Nairaland is best place to seek advice.
Re: What Is It With My Wife And Her Past Boyfriends? by oluwaahmed: 10:04am On Mar 18
OP does ur wife work? As in meaningful occupation? Your wife is manipulative, stubborn and selfish I know this from experience. Bro u need to calm urself down because of her nature. She will naturally get the edge over u when u are angry because she's manipulative. Think of it this way, after coming out of a quarrel, she talks about going to see an ex. She knows u would want to avoid another quarrel therefore give in to her demands. You need to be careful and quiet when handling this type. Find something else to keep u happy. As a dopeman once wifey gets me angry a few drags of AZ will keep me calm and happy. But something I can tell you is that your wife's ex has her mumu button in his hands. OP have you not had consolation sex (sex after a tragedy or bereavment) before Use ur head o.

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