Microsoft Working On ‘Cortana’ Siri-like Voice Assistant For Windows Phone [Report]
By Ben Reid | September 12th, 2013


Voice assistants such as Siri have certainly risen to prominence over the past couple of years, and many companies beside Apple have tried to implement similar technology into their products. Microsoft, fresh from its purchase of Nokia’s devices and services division, is reportedly plotting to do exactly that in constructing a voice assistant for Windows Phone currently codenamed ‘Cortana.’

As any respectable Halo fan will be more than aware, it’s the same name of the popular franchise’s own AI character, and according to multiple sources, the feature will be able to learn from a users behaviors and adapt itself from there.

This is not the first time we’ve heard of this Cortana app, either. A couple of months back, evidence leaked under the name zCortanaApp, and if the current circulation of reports are to be believed, Microsoft could really be looking to step things up a notch or two in the field of voice assistant technology.

The said ability to learn user traits, just like a real-life assistant, is very interesting indeed, and with Siri often having been criticized for limited functionality and very basic feature set, Microsoft certainly has a chance to make an impression.

With the Windows Phone platform still massively under-performing when compared with Google and Apple’s respective ecosystems, Microsoft knows it needs to bring more to the table if it is to entice consumers into buying a Windows Phone device. Android and iOS devices continue to outsell Windows Phone handsets by a considerable margin, and with BlackBerry’s future looking particularly bleak, the Redmond company knows that acting quickly and effectively is in its best interests.

Cortana could be ready in time to be presented as a marquee Windows Phone 8.1 feature, with the software update anticipated to launch early on next year. Windows Phone fans have had very little to get excited about in recent times, but a truly intelligent voice assistant could do wonders for the platform’s fortunes.

At this stage of mere speculation, it’s unknown how Cortana would be implemented into the Windows Phone platform in general, but we’ll certainly be keeping our eyes open for any more information on the subject as it leaks.

1. Stop thinking that your way is the “right” way. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it’s wrong. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, “I have to be in control.”

2. Don’t put others before your husband. God designed companionship in marriage so that a husband and wife can meet one another’s need for a close, intimate, human relationship.

So what happens when you put your mother, a friend, or even a child before your spouse? Actually, you take a step (often unintentional) toward isolation in your marriage. If you choose, for example, to spend an afternoon shopping with your mom when your husband asked you to watch a football game with him, you may leave hubby feeling that he has second place in your heart.

3. Don’t expect your husband to be your girlfriend. Most men and women not only look different physically, but also have unique ways of processing life. One example of this is the need for conversation. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I’m guilty of wearing out my husband with countless conversational details that he doesn’t really care about. Now if he were a girlfriend, all of those details would definitely matter!

4. Don’t dishonor your husband. Suggestions included: Stop all nagging and don’t correct hubby in front of others. If you finish your husband’s sentences, you may be unintentionally communicating, “I don’t really care about what you have to say.”

5. Stop expecting your husband to fail you as your dad failed your mom. “I spent many years waiting for my husband to give up and walk out on me, like my dad had years earlier,” said one friend. Her unfounded fears had robbed her marriage of much joy.

6. Don’t put your husband on the defensive. For example, if you are driving around a section of town looking for a restaurant and he’s obviously lost, does it really help for you to tell him that he’s been going around the same block for the fifth time? One wise wife said that she’s learned to be quiet in situations like this. Now, before she makes a comment, she weighs her words—asking herself: “Are my words needed? Would they be encouraging?” Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

7. Never use sex to bargain with your husband. Some women intentionally or unintentionally say to their husbands, “When I get what I want, you get sex.”

8. Stop reminding your husband about things over and over. Don’t make him feel guilty about small stuff. One friend said that when we constantly remind our husbands about diet, weight, medication, picking up the dry cleaning, etc., we are actually acting more like his mother than his wife.

9. Don’t make your husband earn your respect. Many women think, I’ll respect him when he earns it. As one friend said: “If women could learn to understand that respect is a man's native tongue, that it absolutely heals his heart and ministers to him like nothing else, it would make the biggest difference in the world.”

10. Stop giving your husband your long term to-do list. A colleague warns against overwhelming your husband with too much information. You may unintentionally cause him to feel like a failure, thinking that your long list means you are discontent. Or, he may incorrectly assume that you want him to do something immediately.

11. Don’t act like your spouse is a mind reader. Instead, be specific about your requests. One busy mom said that she used to feel overwhelmed with household chores, wishing her spouse would help her. She now realizes that the only way he knows her needs is when she tells him. “Most often,” she says, “when I simply say, ‘Honey, will you tuck the kids in tonight while I get the kitchen cleaned up,’ he is glad to help.” She’s discovered that a few words are all it takes “to change a resentment-filled, stressed-out night into a team-effort bonding time.”

12. Stop putting housework ahead of hubby. One young mom told her husband that she didn't want to make love one night because she had just changed the sheets and she wanted them to stay clean. What do you think that response said to her husband? Another woman, who puts her husband ahead of the housework, said: “Do not leave the unfolded laundry on your marriage bed.”

13. Put an end to taking the lead because you think he won't take it. “The first many years of our marriage,” one wife said, “I would see what needed to be done and get frustrated that my husband would not take charge and get it done.” She went on to say that she’s changed by learning to wait on her husband’s leadership. “I really believe,” she says, “that our men don't lead because we women are too quick to jump in and take care of it all.”

14. Do not expect your husband to be Prince Charming. After all, the perfect husband only exists in fairy tales and your marriage exists in real life. One young wife said that instead of focusing on her husband’s shortcomings, she’s learned to recognize the wonderful things about him. What’s been the result? He’s been encouraged to do even more to be the man of her dreams.

15. Never look first to a book, a plan, or a person to fix a problem in your marriage. Instead go to God’s Word and believe and act on the things that He says. “He will lead me to any resources I need,” one woman said.



- See more at: http://www.happenings9ja.com/happenings/posts/live-play/love-sex/for-wives-15-habits-to-let-go#sthash.KO1ACdcL.dpuf

In the course of growing an entire human being, women's bodies undergo a slew of unbelievable changes.

Often pregnant ladies get hung up on the negative symptoms and with good reason -- it's hard to feel particularly great about unrelenting nausea, excruciating heartburn and fatigue so intense you could fall asleep at the grocery store, on a sidewalk, under your desk, in a plate of eggs...

But women's bodies do incredibly mind-blowing things in service of their growing babies, and we think that deserves a bit of celebration. Of course, no two pregnancies are the same.

One woman's glow is another mom's acne. But here, nonetheless, are seven of the amazing things that can happen to women's bodies during pregnancy.





1. Your Blood Volume Doubles

During pregnancy, the volume of blood in a woman's body increases by a whopping 50 percent in order to help support the uterus. Accordingly, the amount of blood pumped by the heart increases as well. By the end of pregnancy, a woman's uterus receives one-fifth of her pre-pregnancy blood supply.

2. You Actually Glow

If you find yourself looking all dewey and glow-y during your pregnancy, it's not just because you're brimming with I'm-about-to-become-a-mom sentiment; there's also a physiological basis for it,The aforementioned increase in circulation that occurs during pregnancy causes many women’s faces to appear brighter, or flushed. And as women’s bodies produce more hormones, their oil glands can go into overdrive, resulting in that famed pregnancy glow.



3. You Grow An Entire Organ During pregnancy, women’s bodies grow a whole new organ, i.e., the placenta — a structure that develops in the uterus and provides oxygen and nutrients to your growing baby (while also playing a key role in waste removal). The organ typically grows onto the upper part of the uterus and is linked to your baby via the umbilical cord. After your baby’s born and the placenta’s job is done, it is simply expelled through the birth canal (although some women, including a growing number of celebs, then ingest it for its reputed health benefits — a practice known as “placentophagia”).



4. You Loosen Up More specifically, as you move through your pregnancy, hormones (especially the aptly named “relaxin”) help soften the ligaments that hold your bones together and the pelvic bones themselves begin moving to accommodate your baby’s birth. Sometimes, this can cause a bit of pain and discomfort (if it’s severe enough, you should see your doctor), although as What To Expect reports, once your baby is born, your joints will firm up again.



5. You Stop Shedding: Do you have the thickest, most amazing head of hair, like, ever? During pregnancy you stop shedding hair at it’s normal rate. As Baby Center explains, most of the time between 85 and 95 percent of the hair on your head is growing, while the rest is in a “resting” stage, before it falls out. But during pregnancy, higher estrogen levels extend that growth phase, meaning you lose less hair and may suddenly find yourself with a gloriously thick ponytail. (Although, as we previously reported, after your baby’s born, that “extra” hair will fall out.)



6. You Breathe Differently: It’s not uncommon for pregnant women to feel short of breath, particularly later in their pregnancy when the uterus grows and begins to press on the diaphragm. But breathing also changes because of the high levels of the hormone progesterone in your body signal your brain to lower the levels of carbon dioxide in the blood, Merck explains yet another amazing example of all the things your body does to support and accommodate a growing baby.



7. You Become Particularly Orgasmic: The increased blood flow to a woman’s genitals plus the general surge in any number of hormones that influence desire can make many pregnant women feel libidinous. And those changes can also increase sensitivity, allowing many women to orgasm more easily. But as with all things related to sexuality, this is totally individual some women want nothing to do with sex while they’re pregnant.

- See more at: http://www.happenings9ja.com/happenings/posts/look-feel/health-fitness/7-awesome-things-your-body-does-during-pregnancy#sthash.f6m3IZ66.dpuf

W-A-R-N-I-N-G!
US Asks Citizens To Avoid 14 Nigerian States.

The United States of America has warned its citizens living in Nigeria to avoid visiting any of the 14 Northern Nigeria states for safety, especially this 9/11 anniversary.
Their Embassy website stated safety and security concerns.

The U.S. Mission in Nigeria is enforcing a restricted travel policy for U.S. Embassy personnel to the states of Adamawa, Bauchi, Borno, Gombe, Jigawa, Kaduna, Kano, Katsina, Kebbi, Niger, Plateau, Sokoto, Yobe, and Zamfara.

BlackBerry will be releasing BBM (BlackBerry Messenger) to Android and iOS soon. The company stated it would hit users sometime “before the end of the summer,” and the app is currently in testing within the BlackBerry Beta Zone.

A slight step forward has happened as both user guides have found its place online. These give the usual outline and finer details of how to effectively use BBM to its fullest potential, including how to invite people to BBM, how to send messages, enabling group chats, plus understanding the famous BBM sent, delivered and read icons.

BBM for Android will require OS 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich or higher and BBM for the iPhone is compatible for those running iOS6 or higher. In addition, a splash page has also been created, but quickly removed from the web. Apparently there was a link that directed people to download the app in the respected app stores – so we might see them released at the same time. Earlier rumours indicated a possible release late August or within the first week of September.

Check out the user guides here for Android and iOS (PDFs)

Update: The link to BBM for Android and iOS can be found here, but the actual download links to iTunes or Google Play are not available yet.

http://mobilesyrup.com/2013/08/22/one-step-closer-bbm-for-ios-and-android-user-guides-arrive-online/

Important Questions To Consider When Choosing Birth Control Methods



Having sex is about making choices. We choose our partners, when we're ready to have sex, when to wait, and what we feel comfortable doing.
Finally, we can choose to have sex in the safest way.

Not getting pregnant requires you to weigh the pros and cons of all birth control methods and to choose effective birth control that you find comfortable, can use correctly and will use consistently each time you have sex.

With so many options, choosing birth control methods may be hard. Here are the top questions to ask yourself when making this decision.


1. How comfortable would I be using a particular birth control method?
Consider your comfort level when choosing a birth control method. If you are not at ease with an option or might not consistently use it (for any reason), that method is unlikely to be reliable for you in the long run.

Decide whether or not a particular method may cause irritation or discomfort for you or your partner.
Consider how comfortable you are with touching your body. For women, some methods like a diaphragm or NuvaRing require inserting them into your vagina and taking them out. For men, using a condom requires rolling it onto your penis.
It's important to be honest about your feelings regarding these issues.

2. Will the contraceptive prevent sexually transmitted diseases?
Condoms (both male and female) are the only birth control method that reduces your risk of catching sexually transmitted infections as well as HIV (the virus that causes AIDS). Remember, that unless you know for sure that your partner has no other sex partners and is free of sexually transmitted diseases, you are at risk for catching an infection.To protect yourself, use a condom in addition to any other birth control method if you fall under this risk category.

Keep in mind that a male condom should NEVER be used at the same time as a female condom.

3. How important is ease of use and convenience?
Some birth control methods are more convenient to use than others. Likewise, some methods are easier to understand. For example, The Patch (which only needs to be changed once a week) is more convenient than a diaphragm (which needs to be with you and inserted before intercourse). On the same note, receiving a Depo-Provera injection every 3 months is easier to figure out than using a Natural Family Planning.

You should honestly evaluate how important these factors are to you and how your birth control method will fit into your lifestyle.

4. Do I want to have a biological child in the future?
First, you need to decide if you want a permanent or temporary birth control method. Whether or not you wish to conceive any (or more) children can help in this decision. If you are unsure about the future, consider a temporary method. When choosing one, think about how quickly you can become pregnant after stopping a particular method.
Also, keep in mind that you may regret choosing a permanent method if you are young, if you have few or no children, if you are choosing this method because your partner wants you to, you think it will solve money issues, and/or you believe this option will fix relationship problems.

5. How effective do I want my birth control method to be?

Though some birth control methods are more reliable than others, no birth control method is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy except for abstinence. So, choosing effective birth control is important. In general, permanent methods and some hormonal ones tend to be the most reliable.

Effectiveness rates are usually provided as a typical user rate and a perfect use rate. Normally, methods that require less for you to do tend to have lower failure rates. Carefully consider how effective you want your birth control method to be and at what rate you will feel most comfortable.


6. How would an unplanned pregnancy affect my life?
Your answer to this question can also help to point you in the right direction when choosing birth control methods.

It is recommended that you choose a highly effective birth control method:

If you would perceive an unplanned pregnancy as a potentially devastating event

If an unintended pregnancy would seriously impact your plans for the future
You may feel comfortable using less reliable birth control methods if you are in a stable relationship, have a reliable source of income, and/or are planning to have children in the future (but would embrace a pregnancy should it happen now).

7. Do I have health factors that may limit my choice of contraceptive?
If you have certain health problems or other risk factors, some birth control methods may not be the safest option for you. Though there could be health issues that might prevent you from using a certain method, these are usually rare.

To be safe, before beginning any contraceptive, always talk with your doctor first.

Another health factor to consider is whether or not you currently have or potentially could have been exposed to a sexually transmitted disease. These situations could also help determine the safest option for you to choose.

8. What are my religious and moral values?
If you are morally (ie., vegans may not feel comfortable using vegan condoms), spiritually or religiously opposed to using certain birth control metods, there are natural family planning methods that can be used successfully - given that both partners are motivated with this choice. Couples report that these methods can be a truly rewarding experience once you figure out the technique that best suits you and become accustomed to it. These methods usually receive less attention, but do not rule them out until you have done some research.

Though considered a Natural Method, please note that Withdrawal is not an effective birth control choice.

9. How much will the birth control method cost?
Various costs are associated with each type of contraceptive. When choosing birth control methods, keep in mind the following costs (in addition to the actual contraceptive):

Prescription methods require routine check-ups

The insertion and removal of devices (like ParaGard IUD and Implanon)

Treatment for possible complications

The cost of emergency contraception (if your method fails you)
It is helpful to consider the possibility that some of the higher, one-time costs of certain methods may, over time, be less than the continued costs of buying pills, patches, or condoms.

10. Am I looking for a contraceptive that offers additional benefits?
Birth control prevents unwanted pregnancies. The medical risks of pregnancy/delivery are much higher than the risks of using any contraceptive.

Some birth control methods provide health benefits in addition to preventing pregnancy. Examples include:

The Pill: it can reduce the risk of ovarian and uterine cancers, may improve acne, and can lessen premenstrual symptoms

Latex Condoms: these can protect against STD's and HIV

Progestin-Only Methods: options like Mirena IUD, Depo Provera Injection, and Progestin-Only Pills (The Mini Pill) can relieve cramping and menstrual bleeding. Periods may be less frequent or stop altogether, which lowers the risk for anemia.

anger management

Do you have a short fuse or find yourself getting into frequent arguments and fights? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind. With insight about the real reasons for your anger and these anger management tools, you can learn to keep your temper from hijacking your life.

Understanding anger
The emotion of anger is neither good nor bad. It’s perfectly healthy and normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged. The feeling isn't the problem—it's what you do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a problem when it harms you or others.

If you have a hot temper, you may feel like it’s out of your hands and there’s little you can do to tame the beast. But you have more control over your anger than you think. You can learn to express your emotions without hurting others—and when you do, you’ll not only feel better, you’ll also be more likely to get your needs met. Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but the more you practice, the easier it will get. And the payoff can be huge. Learning to control your anger and express it appropriately can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a healthier, more satisfying life.

Why learning to control your anger is important
You might think that venting your anger is healthy, that the people around you are too sensitive, that your anger is justified, or that you need to show your fury to get respect. But the truth is that anger is much more likely to damage your relationships, impair your judgment, get in the way of success, and have a negative impact on the way people see you.

Out-of-control anger hurts your physical health. Constantly operating at high levels of stress and tension is bad for your health. Chronic anger makes you more susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure.
Out-of-control anger hurts your mental health. Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy and clouds your thinking, making it harder to concentrate, see the bigger picture, and enjoy life. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.
Out-of-control anger hurts your career. Constructive criticism, creative differences, and heated debate can be healthy. But lashing out only alienates your colleagues, supervisors, or clients and erodes their respect. What’s more, a bad reputation can follow you wherever you go, making it harder and harder to get ahead.
Out-of-control anger hurts your relationships with others. It causes lasting scars in the people you love most and gets in the way of your friendships and work relationships. Chronic, intense anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly, or feel comfortable—they never know what is going to set you off or what you will do. Explosive anger is especially damaging to children.


Anger control and management tip 1: Explore what’s really behind your anger
If you’re struggling with out-of-control anger, you may be wondering why your fuse is so short. Anger problems often stem from what you’ve learned as a child. If you watched others in your family scream, hit each other, or throw things, you might think this is how anger is supposed to be expressed. Traumatic events and high levels of stress can make you more susceptible to anger as well.


Anger is often a cover-up for other feelings
In order to get your needs met and express your anger in appropriate ways, you need to be in touch with what you are really feeling. Are you truly angry? Or is your anger masking other feelings such as embarrassment, insecurity, hurt, shame, or vulnerability?

If your knee-jerk response in many situations is anger, it is very likely that your temper is covering up your true feelings and needs. This is especially likely if you grew up in a family where expressing feelings was strongly discouraged. As an adult, you may have a hard time acknowledging feelings other than anger.

Clues that there’s something more to your anger
You have a hard time compromising. Is it hard for you to understand other people’s points of view, and even harder to concede a point? If you grew up in a family where anger was out of control, you may remember how the angry person got his or her way by being the loudest and most demanding. Compromising might bring up scary feelings of failure and vulnerability.
You have trouble expressing emotions other than anger. Do you pride yourself on being tough and in control, never letting your guard down? Do you feel that emotions like fear, guilt, or shame don’t apply to you? Everyone has those emotions, and if you think you don’t, you may be using anger as a cover for them.
You view different opinions and viewpoints as a personal challenge to you. Do you believe that your way is always right and get angry when others disagree? If you have a strong need to be in control or a fragile ego, you may interpret other perspectives as a challenge to your authority, rather than simply a different way of looking at things.
If you are uncomfortable with many emotions, disconnected, or stuck on an angry one-note response to everything, it might do you some good to get back in touch with your feelings. Emotional awareness is the key to self-understanding and success in life. Without the ability to recognize, manage, and deal with the full range of human emotions, you’ll inevitably spin into confusion, isolation, and self-doubt.


Anger control and management tip 2: Be aware of your anger warning signs and triggers
While you might feel that you just explode into anger without warning, in fact, there are physical warning signs in your body. Anger is a normal physical response. It fuels the “fight or flight” system of the body, and the angrier you get, the more your body goes into overdrive. Becoming aware of your own personal signs that your temper is starting to boil allows you to take steps to manage your anger before it gets out of control.

Pay attention to the way anger feels in your body

Knots in your stomach
Clenching your hands or jaw
Feeling clammy or flushed
Breathing faster
Headaches
Pacing or needing to walk around
“Seeing red”
Having trouble concentrating
Pounding heart
Tensing your shoulders

Identify the negative thought patterns that trigger your temper
You may think that external things—the insensitive actions of other people, for example, or frustrating situations—are what cause your anger. But anger problems have less to do with what happens to you than how you interpret and think about what happened. Common negative thinking patterns that trigger and fuel anger include:

Overgeneralizing. For example, “You always interrupt me. You NEVER consider my needs. EVERYONE disrespects me. I NEVER get the credit I deserve.”
Obsessing on “shoulds” and “musts.” Having a rigid view of the way things should or must be and getting angry when reality doesn’t line up with this vision.
Mind reading and jumping to conclusions. Assuming you “know” what someone else is thinking or feeling—that he or she intentionally upset you, ignored your wishes, or disrespected you.
Collecting straws. Looking for things to get upset about, usually while overlooking or blowing past anything positive. Letting these small irritations build and build until you reach the “final straw” and explode, often over something relatively minor.
Blaming. When anything bad happens or something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. You blame others for the things that happen to you rather than taking responsibility for your own life.
Avoid people, places, and situations that bring out your worst
Stressful events don’t excuse anger, but understanding how these events affect you can help you take control of your environment and avoid unnecessary aggravation. Look at your regular routine and try to identify activities, times of day, people, places, or situations that trigger irritable or angry feelings. Maybe you get into a fight every time you go out for drinks with a certain group of friends. Or maybe the traffic on your daily commute drives you crazy. Then think about ways to avoid these triggers or view the situation differently so it doesn’t make your blood boil.

Avoid people, places, and situations that bring out your worst
Stressful events don’t excuse anger, but understanding how these events affect you can help you take control of your environment and avoid unnecessary aggravation. Look at your regular routine and try to identify activities, times of day, people, places, or situations that trigger irritable or angry feelings. Maybe you get into a fight every time you go out for drinks with a certain group of friends. Or maybe the traffic on your daily commute drives you crazy. Then think about ways to avoid these triggers or view the situation differently so it doesn’t make your blood boil.


Anger control and management tip 3: Learn ways to cool down
Once you know how to recognize the warning signs that your temper is rising and anticipate your triggers, you can act quickly to deal with your anger before it spins out of control. There are many techniques that can help you cool down and keep your anger in check.

Quick tips for cooling down
Focus on the physical sensations of anger. While it may seem counterintuitive, tuning into the way your body feels when you’re angry often lessens the emotional intensity of your anger.
Take some deep breaths. Deep, slow breathing helps counteract rising tension. The key is to breathe deeply from the abdomen, getting as much fresh air as possible into your lungs.
Exercise. A brisk walk around the block is a great idea. It releases pent-up energy so you can approach the situation with a cooler head.
Use your senses. Take advantage of the relaxing power of your sense of sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste. You might try listening to music or picturing yourself in a favorite place.
Stretch or massage areas of tension. Roll your shoulders if you are tensing them, for example, or gently massage your neck and scalp.
Slowly count to ten. Focus on the counting to let your rational mind catch up with your feelings. If you still feel out of control by the time you reach ten, start counting again.
Give yourself a reality check
When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to think about the situation. Ask yourself:
How important is it in the grand scheme of things?
Is it really worth getting angry about it?
Is it worth ruining the rest of my day?
Is my response appropriate to the situation?
Is there anything I can do about it?
Is taking action worth my time?

Anger control and management tip 4: Find healthier ways to express your anger
If you’ve decided that the situation is worth getting angry about and there’s something you can do to make it better, the key is to express your feelings in a healthy way. When communicated respectfully and channeled effectively, anger can be a tremendous source of energy and inspiration for change.

Pinpoint what you’re really angry about
Have you ever gotten into an argument over something silly? Big fights often happen over something small, like a dish left out or being ten minutes late. But there’s usually a bigger issue behind it. If you find your irritation and anger rapidly rising, ask yourself “What am I really angry about?” Identifying the real source of frustration will help you communicate your anger better, take constructive action, and work towards a resolution.

Take five if things get too heated
If your anger seems to be spiraling out of control, remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes or for as long as it takes you to cool down. A brisk walk, a trip to the gym, or a few minutes listening to some music should allow you to calm down, release pent up emotion, and then approach the situation with a cooler head.

Always fight fair
It’s okay to be upset at someone, but if you don’t fight fair, the relationship will quickly break down. Fighting fair allows you to express your own needs while still respecting others.

Make the relationship your priority. Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.
Focus on the present. Once you are in the heat of arguing, it’s easy to start throwing past grievances into the mix. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the present to solve the problem.
Choose your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. If you pick your battles rather than fighting over every little thing, others will take you more seriously when you are upset.
Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.
Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.

When to seek help for anger management
If your anger is still spiraling out of control, despite putting the previous anger management techniques into practice, or if you’re getting into trouble with the law or hurting others—you need more help. There are many therapists, classes, and programs for people with anger management problems. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You’ll often find others in the same shoes, and getting direct feedback on techniques for controlling anger can be tremendously helpful.

Therapy for anger problems. Therapy can be a great way to explore the reasons behind your anger. If you don’t know why you are getting angry, it’s very hard to control. Therapy provides a safe environment to learn more about your reasons and identify triggers for your anger. It’s also a safe place to practice new skills in expressing your anger.
Anger management classes or groups. Anger management classes or groups allow you to see others coping with the same struggles. You will also learn tips and techniques for managing your anger and hear other people’s stories. For domestic violence issues, traditional anger management is usually not recommended. There are special classes that go to the issue of power and control that are at the heart of domestic violence.


If your loved one has an anger management problem
If your loved one has an anger problem, you probably feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time. But always remember that you are not to blame for your loved one’s anger. There is never an excuse for physically or verbally abusive behavior. You have a right to be treated with respect and to live without fear of an angry outburst or a violent rage.

Tips for dealing with a loved one’s anger management problem
While you can’t control another person’s anger, you can control how you respond to it:

Set clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate.
Wait for a time when you are both calm to talk to your loved one about the anger problem. Don’t bring it up when either one of you is already angry.
Remove yourself from the situation if your loved one does not calm down.
Consider counseling or therapy for yourself if you are having a hard time standing up for yourself.
Put your safety first. Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe or threatened in any way, get away from your loved one and go somewhere safe.
Anger isn’t the real problem in abusive relationships
Despite what many people believe, domestic violence and abuse is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his behavior and temper. In fact, abusive behavior is a deliberate choice for the sole purpose of controlling you. If you are in an abusive relationship, know that couples counseling is not recommended—and that your partner needs specialized treatment, not regular anger management classes.

Myths and Facts about Anger
Myth: I shouldn’t “hold in” my anger. It’s healthy to vent and let it out.
Fact: While it’s true that suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better. Anger is not something you have to “let out” in an aggressive way in order to avoid blowing up. In fact, outbursts and tirades only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger problem.
Myth: Anger, aggression, and intimidation help me earn respect and get what I want.
Fact: True power doesn’t come from bullying others. People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect you if you can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Others will be more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in a respectful way.
Myth: I can’t help myself. Anger isn’t something you can control.
Fact: You can’t always control the situation you’re in or how it makes you feel, but you can control how you express your anger. And you can express your anger without being verbally or physically abusive. Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you always have a choice about how to respond.
Myth: Anger management is about learning to suppress your anger.
Fact: Never getting angry is not a good goal. Anger is normal, and it will come out regardless of how hard you try to suppress it. Anger management is all about becoming aware of your underlying feelings and needs and developing healthier ways to manage upset. Rather than trying to suppress your anger, the goal is to express it in constructive ways.

Unsurprisingly, couples counselling is perhaps most about helping couples to fix their relationships. Most relationships, where both partners are willing and open to change and compromise, can find a way to recover; yet unfortunately there are some relationships that simply don’t make it. How do you recognise that it is time to give up and move on and indeed how do you start to recover from that shock to your world?

At some point the relationship will have been good - after all, you must have got together for a reason! Yet somehow, later in its life it turned sour and unmanageable. Looking at the reasons for this change will offer many clues as to whether or not to continue. Perhaps infidelity was an issue and you cannot find a way to forgive them - yet you don’t want to become the person who brings it up in every fight or worries each time your partner goes out on their own. Perhaps you have offered support for their drinking or stayed in the relationship because of the children, but daily life is now too much of a struggle and your partner seems unwilling to change. When you have tried to address the problem and there seems no hope even after trying to change, then perhaps the time to do something different has arrived. While you will have things that you like and dislike about your partner, when your expectations of them are greater than what you believe is good enough to continue the relationship then perhaps it is time to move on.

If you do take the decision to split up, as well as much practical consideration there will be significant emotional trauma, not unlike bereavement. Many of your normal routines and practices will be different and may feel uncomfortable. You may find yourself dealing with things that you have no experience of. You may feel upset, guilty or remorseful at the breakup of your relationship. Your self-esteem can be very low.

Recognising that you are in a new phase of your life and that you can make a real difference can be the key to helping yourself move on. Realising that many things have changed and embracing that change is important. Look at your life and friends; perhaps there are those who are supportive and make you feel good about yourself, and perhaps that there are those who are talking about what you have lost. The former will help you to move forward and make the changes that you need. It can be difficult at first to accept compliments from them. Perhaps you feel run down or unworthy; however, start with just thanking them for their compliment, and over time you will come to realise that they are expressing their genuine thoughts.

In fact, many couples successfully split and go on to form healthy, happy relationships with other people; so, if your relationship has come to an end, accept that you tried to save it but don’t spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been. Instead, look to what is possible for the future.

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dear valued airtel customer care, i want to use this medium to bring to your notice about the low quality of service in itire area of surulere. since december 2012 till present 3G network has been crappy. 3G network works perfectly around lawanson environs, but from cole street, going towards zamba, ramoni, pako, and otun oba environs, the 3G network quality there sucks, you can only see EDGE on mobile devices. i suspect there is a problem with one of the masts serving this environs, specifically the one situated on igbesa street, and i have been bringing this to the notice of your staffs via the call centre, but all i keep getting is "we would do something about it soon". the question is "how long does it take for a field team to come out and do a maintenance check on this mast. At this day and age, one cant even surf the internet well with the EDGE network, let alone download. bear in mind that this area might be a local one though, but your organization also have customers in this environ that deserve same treatment as those staying in the so called "high class" environ, because we all pay the same amount for internet subscription both on mobile and pc. one cant continue paying for services one doesn't enjoy, especially in ones home zone. am pleading on behalf of every airtel customer in this environ, you guys should please send out a field team to come check what the problem is in the above mentioned environment, we have all waited so long for this problem to be solved, we need your prompt response please.

dear valued airtel customer care, i want to use this medium to bring to your notice about the low quality of service in itire area of surulere. since december 2012 till present 3G network has been crappy. 3G network works perfectly around lawanson environs, but from cole street, going towards zamba, ramoni, pako, and otun oba environs, the 3G network quality there sucks, you can only see EDGE on mobile devices. i suspect there is a problem with one of the masts serving this environs, specifically the one situated on igbesa street, and i have been bringing this to the notice of your staffs via the call centre, but all i keep getting is "we would do something about it soon". the question is "how long does it take for a field team to come out and do a maintenance check on this mast. At this day and age, one cant even surf the internet well with the EDGE network, let alone download. bear in mind that this area might be a local one though, but your organization also have customers in this environ that deserve same treatment as those staying in the so called "high class" environ, because we all pay the same amount for internet subscription both on mobile and pc. one cant continue paying for services one doesn't enjoy, especially in ones home zone. am pleading on behalf of every airtel customer in this environ, you guys should please send out a field team to come check what the problem is in the above mentioned environment, we have all waited so long for this problem to be solved, we need your prompt response please.

dear valued airtel customer care, i want to use this medium to bring to your notice about the low quality of service in itire area of surulere. since december 2012 till present 3G network has been crappy. 3G network works perfectly around lawanson environs, but from cole street, going towards zamba, ramoni, pako, and otun oba environs, the 3G network quality there sucks, you can only see EDGE on mobile devices. i suspect there is a problem with one of the masts serving this environs, specifically the one situated on igbesa street, and i have been bringing this to the notice of your staffs via the call centre, but all i keep getting is "we would do something about it soon". the question is "how long does it take for a field team to come out and do a maintenance check on this mast. At this day and age, one cant even surf the internet well with the EDGE network, let alone download. bear in mind that this area might be a local one though, but your organization also have customers in this environ that deserve same treatment as those staying in the so called "high class" environ, because we all pay the same amount for internet subscription both on mobile and pc. one cant continue paying for services one doesn't enjoy, especially in ones home zone. am pleading on behalf of every airtel customer in this environ, you guys should please send out a field team to come check what the problem is in the above mentioned environment, we have all waited so long for this problem to be solved, we need your prompt response please.

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source: http://www./m/discussion?id=6404731%3ATopic%3A337916

Dear Oyebanjo, Dapo Daniel AKA D’Banj,I am seated at a local restaurant here at the university town of Nsukka, in Enugu State, Nigeria, drinking a bottle of Fayrouz and listening to the sound of the generator, which is the only source of electricity around here.I have watched your latest music video. I went through the rigour last night. It is the video of the song entitled “Don’t Tell Me Nonsense” and it was awfully disgusting, the song, I mean. Kaffy and the rest of the dancers didn’t disappoint in the video.
This is bad, I know, using awful and disgusting, in same sentence. But that is what I feel about what I saw. Brother, D’Banj, a lot has changed since you left your brother and hustle partner, Ajereh, Michael Collins AKA Don Jazzy. Truth. Your songs have been nothing but trash. I wonder if anyone has said anything nice to you since you started making songs outside Don Jazzy. If they have, it must have been for that singular hit song entitled ‘Oliver Twist.’ Kai! That song swept through Nigeria and the rest of the world. You would not believe that the ordinary child on the streets of Nsukka knows the lyrics of that song and the dance steps too.

In Nigeria, there are plenty factors that weigh us down. One is our inability to manage our weaknesses. I see you have been buying yourself expensive jewelleries. The other day, I saw on a blog that you wear a wristwatch worth my entire family and maybe inheritance. I commend your taste. You are a lucky and hardworking man. You deserve it, besides; ‘Oliver Twist’ made marks. It took the Nigerian music to a height that had never been seen in recent times. Its toping charts, downloads, Youtube views and itunes purchases are amongst the few things I can mention.

Dear, D’Banj, Don Jazzy may not be an ideal partner, I bet you, no one is an ideal partner! Perfect couples quarrel and make up. It is the joy of having such union. I believe misunderstanding is part of us, as humans. I will run to the zoo the day I see a union that agrees on almost everything.Back to your music, I feel Don Jazzy was made to make good music with you. He may not only be your producer, but whatever input, from advice, to production, will go a long way. Besides, he has been miserable too, without you. I have seen his eyes in music videos. There is one he did with Tiwa Savage. Ah, Tiwa. She looked dazzling, while Don Jazzy looked wanting and dispirited. Tiwa may have a perfect voice but Don Jazzy has not been able to achieve what he did with you. The other boys, K-Switch, Wande Coal and the goody bag crooner, D’Prince are unfortunate learners.
They must be stark illiterates to have taken sides when you guys parted. I understand their ignorance. But my concern here is, if you wish to stay relevant in the sight of Nigerians, making good music, and not caressing a stripper on stage on your birthday, then you have to make amends with Don Jazzy and understand that people argue because they are beneficial to themselves. Only dummies agree on everything.
I think tribalism had a lot to play in your split. It is a sad reality, if I am right. Tribalism will eventually destroy Nigeria. Our young people think they belong to a superior tribe and so make silly comments which sometimes bring about misconception and then crisis. I once had a boss, who is Igbo, who felt my tribe’s men were lazy, just because she came to my state and saw a job and was privileged to be a high ranking staff. I have had people who think those from the north should be gatekeepers and cobblers. Someone called me a militant once in Abuja, at the Sheraton, when he discovered I was from the Niger-Delta. I forgave his gross stupidity. I think we should drink a cup of water when ignorant people say rubbish about our personalities or flaws and relate it to tribe.
You are a great young man, D’Banj. Few people have attained the height you have. I am encouraged to pursue what I am currently pursuing because I know I will triumph. Your likes and that of 2Face Idibia, despite your weaknesses are heroes. And you must recall that Kanye West met you because he had heard good stuff from you. When nothing good manifests, he may be forced to give you a new job description at Good Music, which may be mopping of the floor of the studio. This evil will not befall you. If you believe it, type amen.

D’Banj, pride is the worst enemy of any man who wishes to last longer anywhere. A drop of arrogance may work, but pride is detrimental. You were called the ‘entertainer’ because you offered entertainment. Today, Inyanya, Kcee, Flavour, Wizkid and Davido are doing better. Imagine Burna-Boy, chai, that boy has some senses oh. His music, even when he is talking nonsense makes you want to sit and listen or dance to it, as the case may be. The only person that is yet to outshine you is my dearest sister, Tontolet Dike. That girl needs Jesus.

I have to go back to my drink. I paid for it and it is almost missing me. I enjoy your struggle or hustle, as you may choose to call it. I wish to hear something profound from you. While awaiting that miracle that only you can perform, I wish you the very best of life.

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