During Henry’s second year on campus, being on holiday, Henry adjourned to his room to take a nap. Rolling from side to side abed, sleep eluding him, he heard a sound from the door. Henry felt Kate must have returned from school, since father and mother would not be back until evening.
“That thing’s back again,” said Henry, face squeezed as if presently perceiving a nauseating odor—probably from fresh fecal matter. Kate was then in her final year in the high school.
As Henry had presumed, Kate was the anonymous ‘door-pusher’. With her came three friends—Naomi, Jane and Belinda. Kate was not aware of his presence, so she slotted a cassette, which they had brought with them, into the Video Cassette player in the parlor—music began.
Lost in the euphoria, the quartet began to sing loudly, jumping and hopping frantically to the music.
“Kate you’ve got a melodious voice,’ said one of her friends.
“Why wont I, after such long-lasting period of voice training?”
The girls didn’t go to school that particular day, being somewhere rehearsing, though creating false impressions in the minds of their parents that they had been in school since morning.
“Hope your dad and mum have stopped disturbing you—” Belinda asked Kate inquisitively.
“About what?”
“About you not to become a musician.”
“They’re going to disown me if they hear this,” she said in a slow manner.
“Why?” asked Jane.
“They’ve got aversion for music and magic.” she responded, resuming her speech having read the demanding minds of her friends. “Don’t know why?”
“When’s our next music practice—you know we’ve got to sing for ‘Paparazzi’ club next week?” Belinda said and received an instant answer.
“Let’s make it next two days,” suggested Kate. “We’ll skip some classes.”
“It’s okay, but where should we converge?” asked one of them. Immediately after the question, the atmosphere became silent, each trying to figure out a suitable rendezvous.
Going by the look of things, it was as if Henry was the one who needed the answer most. He paid rapt attention to every sound he did hear, so he would not miss out some silently spoken salient words.
After giving the asked question a serious thought, Naomi said, “At the guest house called Rendezvous—in Jones Street.”
Henry smiled belligerently on his bed, but his smile was the ephemeral type, being terminated at the thought that he did not known where the mentioned venue was located. Henry wished sorely that someone would ask where it was and his sister did just that.
“Where’s the place?” asked Kate, raising her voice.
“Kate, don’t be silly, you know RGH don’t you?” said Jane in a harsh manner, but Kate nodded in the negative.
“Then you shouldn’t claim a citizen of the US if—”
“Hey, tell me if you want to,” retorted Kate embarrassingly. “My bro. will soon be here. I’m sensing he’s not gone far.”
As Kate said that, Henry grinned on bed, muttering words to himself.
“Foolish ones! I’m right in here.”
“Okay, Jones Street abutting Hilton—or you want to deny knowing Hilton too?” replied Jane, looking serious.
“Oh my Jees—!” Kate screamed, “I Know Hilton Street quite well. I’ve been there with my family once, shopping for Christmas—but I never knew that the lane abutting it was Jones.”
“Now you know, innit?” Naomi said. “Let’s choose a date—for the training.”
Henry cuddled up to his pillow in utmost excitement. That was his usual practice whenever he was extremely excited. He held out his ears, so he could get the last thing he would need—the date and time.
“Can we make it 2pm? We mustn’t exceed two hours—two o’clock on Monday.”
Belinda’s suggestion was unanimously agreed upon without any debate preceding it. Kate saw them off to the motor road outside the house. She waved to them, walking hurriedly back home. She was puzzled, seeing Henry right inside the living room she had just left with her friends. She developed goose pimples immediately as she moved closer to him in apprehension, already having it settled in her mind that Henry had heard every bit of the plan.
Kate asked with an edgy voice; “Henry have you heard everything?”
“Every what?” yelled Henry at him, faking ignorance.
“C’mon don’t pretend as if you’ve not heard all we said,” she added uncertainly, trying to carve a way out of the looming trouble she had insinuated. Her hope was raised when Henry yelled, “Said with whom?” She revealed a dimpleless but bland smile, which made her ugly the more, on hearing Henry’s reply.
“Since you’ve not heard, never mind,” Kate said and turned heel to leave his presence, but she became transfixed at a spot by what she heard him say at that moment.
“Don’t fool yourself around, I heard it all!”
Henry’s confession sent a gush of shocking wave down her spine and rashly she yelled, “Heard what?”
“You’ve joined a music club. You brought your friends here, turned the parlor into a disco hall. I heard your voice in the cassette—it was the worst of all,” criticized Henry, sticking out his tongue in order to frustrate her more.
“Well, you can make jest of me as you like, as long as you won’t tell mum and dad about it—it’s okay by me. Or—are you going to tell?” she asked diplomatically, heart thumping faster than normal.
“Definitely yes!” replied Henry without giving it a second thought. The statement dampened her spirit. Being enervated she said in a minuscule pitch, “You want to let dad disown me—or you’ve forgotten what he said?”
“You’re of no use in this family—Kate or caterer—or whatever you call yourself,” slandered Henry, but she managed to swallow it up and kept silent, though peeved at her brother’s insulting speech. “Your absence in this family will enhance the soaring of my pocket money,” Henry continued to dole out the insults to her.
Kate knew undoubtedly that Henry was going to tell, no matter what. She felt that she could make Henry change his mind if she could possibly entice him with what she was about to mention—money. She put her clever idea into practice at once.
“What about you having my pocket money for the next three months?”
“It’s of no use,” replied Henry obstinately.
“Okay, what about me doing the house chores alone?” said Kate seriously again, but Henry refused still. In a flash, Kate had developed another idea in her mind, which she ardently believed that Henry was not going to reject, since such had always been acceptable to every mature male she had come across. She was going to test it on Henry too, perhaps he would fall for it.
“Em—what about getting you a girlfriend?” she said and raised her head to see his reaction. “Pretty one!” she added when she saw the imperviousness in the comportment of her brother.
“Shut it! Don’t need one from you! I’ll tell, no matter how long you badger me!” Henry shouted and banged at the table as if drumming to his speech in order to make it more durable. The two looked disdainfully into each other’s eyeballs, uncouthly, like a hero a villain at the end of a movie, ready to have a mortal contest. She took courage to speak later.
“No one’s going to believe you since you’ve got no evidence,” Kate told him point-blank, laughing as she took a brisk walk to her room.

The fact remained that everyone born to the earth had come with a specific skill—talent—pluperfect ones for that matter, because it appeared Kate had got one too—singing. She was naturally bequeathed with a very sweet voice. Although she had discovered it early enough for her to make it a profession, her parents never wanted her to become a musician. They would prefer to see her turn medical doctor, contrary to her craving.

Mr. and Mrs. White had always argued about whom Kate had actually taken after between the two of them.

“I think Henry takes after me, but Kate takes after you,” Mr. White would say and his wife would reply, “No, Henry takes after me either, she looks more like you.” They dared not say it to her face, otherwise they had to face the risk of searching for her for the next one week.

However, Kate had overheard them twice and had promised to go get drown in the river. Those times they had to beg her for couple of hours before she became calm again. Recently Kate need not eavesdrop anymore, because she had cleverly kept a voice-recording device securely in the well-furnished and gorgeous-looking lounge, unnoticed by nobody.

Mr. and Mrs. White had phobia for magic or magic-related things. They had warned their children oftentimes never to be involved in cultism of any kind.

“Listen children, in the Higher Institutions, there are enough bad guys all over there. Please don’t you go with them when you get there. They can kill you,” Gaby, Henry’s father had warned several times before Henry eventually got into the university.

“Sure, dad, you know I always won’t have time to make friends—I prefer sleep to making friends,” Henry said.

“And you know I prefer singing to—” Kate said too and paused, looking around to see her parent’s face, having realized her mistake. They leered at her, and the expressions on their faces had forced her into modifying her half-baked words instantly.

“Ringing I mean,” she said slyly but it won’t suffice to cozen her parents.

“Ringing what?” Her mother inquired sharply.
“Em—Em—ringing bell,” She said quickly. Henry burst into laughter.

“Here you are with your white lies again,” Mr. White said. She was caught red-handed this time. “Kate I’m sure going to disown you should you turn a musician—have you heard?” the man spoke up, pointing cruelly at her face.

“Heard,” said Kate disgruntled.

Henry was born three years before Kate but they had approximately the same height, though they never heard any semblance whatsoever. Henry was moderate in size, but Kate was a little chubby. He had dimples but all she had were some defacing pimples. Her pimples were the never-to-touch type since they had always culminated into ridiculously round and bulgy boils each time she had attempted to press out the pus in them.

She had used almost all the medications meant for pimples in the US, but her pustules had proved immortal. In addition, she had suffered a lot from fraudsters concerning this same issue, getting a sealed powdery charcoal for medication. She was laughed to scorn by Henry while applying it, since it was indirectly his handiwork.

“Black American!” yelled Henry mockingly at her.

“It’s soon going to be over,” she said somberly, attempting to console herself, but never knowing what sort the medication was. It was April one then, so Henry screamed, “April fool!”
Kate, still having strong confidence in the black thing, asked sharply, “What’s the April fool for?”
Henry had to take time to explain the mystery behind the ‘black medicine’ in a finicky manner to her. He said, “That was a mixture of charcoal and chilly pepper, concocted by Cypher, my High school friend.” He paused to laugh. “Check it out!”

Kate sulked and hung her head in frustration, having realized her mistakes. She was going to start real trouble with the boy, probably taking her friends with her to fight him, but she relented, having had a second thought. However, Henry never went scot-free during that period, because he was paid in his own coin too, before the second half of that same month (April).

Some girls, discovered later to be Kate’s buddies, spitefully poured on him, from the second floor of one of the school structures, a pail of green gloss paint, while Henry was trudging away beneath.

“Green American!” they chuckled frenetically, but never went unpunished too—by their mistresses. They were all locked up in the school detentions for days.

Henry’s hair was brown but Kate’s own was black and curly. Henry was the replica of his father, but Kate looked more like the relative of the neighbor next door. The two never liked walking or talking together. Their everlasting repugnancy was epitomized in the large framed picture hung in the living room, which had always been classed an eyesore of a picture by family and friends who had come around for visits in the past. In it was Henry, standing very close to his father toward the right side of the photograph, while Kate stuck to her mother—each pair being some quite considerable distances apart. This had resulted due to the never-ending disparity between the kids, forbidding to take photographs together.
Visitors never stopped making incessant derogatory comments about the ‘family photograph’, thinking that one day Mr. and Mrs. White’s marital life would break apart and each child would go with the one he or she had held unto in the photograph.

Funny enough, Henry had made several attempts to have his surname changed to the direct opposite, Black, some years back when he was still attending the same high school with her, because she had been identified as Henry’s sister then, by the name they had in common—White.

Kate had many allies but Henry did not have more than one. His friendship with anyone had never lasted up to a school term, since he never knew how to maintain friendship, since he was a nerd, and so would never have the time to spend having fun with some friends.

CHAPTER FOUR

It was evening again. Yemi would have to depart for work as usual. He hardly had time for rest, yet he wouldn't complain.

Yemi was the type of person one would call a patriot. He believed there shouldn't be anything one should keep away from his fatherland. He would serve his fatherland with all his might, even if he wasn't recognised.

Yemi had in mind the thought of catching a bus at the bus stop. If he was late, he would usually take a bike to the bus stop which was about half a kilometre away from his home. Now he wasn't late, so he began to trek.

Yemi's wife had waved a goodbye to him. She would miss him during the night. If Yemi was on day duty, his wife was always happy because he would have time for her to do like husband and wife in the cold of the dark.

The couple would talk far into the night after catching connubial pleasure.

Yemi's wife sat at the edge of the bed, her chin on her palm, thinking:

"Being a full-time house wife doesn't get me exposed," she thought. "And why am I even one now? Bimbo isn't a kid anymore. Why can't I just get a place to sell things--imported materials, and so on? I will tell Yemi when he returns," she concluded, yet knowing quite well that the savings available was only geared towards getting a car to ease off Yemi's stress of trekking or rushing to get buses at the bus stations.

Yemi's wife had raised this same issue earlier and he had agreed to get her a place to do her trade. It was around that time Yomi lost his job, Yomi being Yemi's half elder brother.

Yomi had to come to his younger brother to lend him some money then. It was something very touching and Yemi consulted his wife who agreed to lend Yomi the sum of money which he hadn't been able to pay back till date. This, however, did not reduce the love of the two brothers for each other.

Meanwhile Yemi's wife was busy thinking in her room, Yemi was on the way to the bus-stop. He hadn't gone too far when he sighted a heap of refuse dumped on the site adjacent his home, yet on a little sign post on the land was written: IF YOU DUMP REFUSE HERE, GOD WILL DUMP REFUSE INSIDE YOUR LIFE.

Yemi blushed in anger.

"Are people blind not to have seen this? And they still dumped the refuse there? *O ma se o," he shook his head.
*It's a pity


Yemi calculatingly allowed his mind flow into the thoughts of the hazards land pollution would bring with it.

"People lack morality in this nation," he spoke with deep concern and spat when he discovered a mound of fresh human faeces peeping out of the moin-moin leaves it was having as covering initially.

"All this early morning shi*tter shaaaa!" he spoke in Yoruba ans turned his eyes away from the sight.

Yemi was conscious of time. He didn't want to get to work late. If only he could get a bike to take him to the bus-stop now, then he would be glad.

Yemi raised his right wrist to his face to check the time, but found it empty.

"Oh! I forgot to strap my watch. The other Yemi didn't remember to help me strap it. How did she forget that?"

Yemi reached for the watch in his pocket and fixed it hurriedly.

Yemi was soon carried away with a poster he had just found on a well-painted wall of a house by the road:

Hindustani Temple:
Get your ring for favour
Give birth to triplets
Get spiritual power
Get protection from accident
Call Rajahadhutan on 08034572...

Yemi's attention was diverted to the sound of the vehicle incessantly permeating the cool environment.

Who is horning this way? Yemi thought. He was surprised when he discovered it was a taxi familiar to him.

"Hello Mr Yemi," said a head peeping out of the window. It was 'angel Michael' again.

"Hey! You again?" Yemi was shocked.

"I dropped someone close by just now sir and I decided to check on you at home when I caught sight of you just now," said Michael.

"You are too generous," said Yemi. "I'm on duty as you can see and I'm on my way to the bus stop to get a bus."

"Where in particular is your workplace sir, perhaps our way could tally?"

"Alagbon," Yemi replied quickly.

"Great!" Michael exclaimed. "I can take you to Alagbon because I'm picking up a passenger on the way who is also going to Alagbon. You cab get inside sir."

Michael eagerly stretched to get his hand on the door behind to open it for Yemi. He got inside and began to consider himself lucky again.

As soon as Yemi settled down, he sighed and said, "Gentleman, you're an angel--helped me in the canteen, drove me home this morning and now, this evening again..."

"Don't mention," the driver spoke as if he was timid.

"But I'll surely pay you for your service this time around Angel Michael."

"Of course you'll pay me if you insist," the driver said in a smile as the car chugged on.

Yemi criticised the government under his breath as the car danced 'disco' along the sinusoidal road full of bumps and potholes. The hiccup of a road was something Yemi hated about Lagos.

The disgusting thing about the potholes was the way in which they were filled with water as a result of the early morning heavy downpour. Such water may not dry up in the next two days.

Michael had shown much driving skills and adroitness at the wheel so far, avoiding all the voids and climbing on the hill-like bumps in a soft manner. However, he got it wrong ones and a pedestrian laid a strong curse on him for his err, having splashed some murky water on her body.

"You are mad!" she hollered, gesticulating her annoyance with the spread of her fingers at him insultingly, but Michael was humane enough to have made an apologetic move by halting the car beside her, putting his head out of the window and saying, "I'm very sorry madam."

Yemi's respect for Michael became more pronounced. Angel or no angel, Michael had exhibited some characters considered morally sound in the view of a moralist like himself, thought Yemi.

Outward appearance can be misleading, Yemi thought. Just like the pharisees of the 2000AD who were clean outwardly but inwardly they were like ravening wolves. But the Michael here was in direct contrast, rough outwardly but clean and spotless inwardly.

Traffic jam! They were stuck.

"Oh God!" Michael banged the steering in disappointment mingled with frustration in the ratio 'it-is-not-easy-to-be-a-lagosian'.

"What's that? Hold up?" Yemi asked, being jolted out of his thought. Himself had caught a glimpse of the traffic congestion aftermath from the window.

"It's hold up again o," Michael said. "And you're almost late for work sir." Michael showed much concern for Yemi in particular.

To some, the hold-up was a plus. It would pave way for them to hawk their wares. Some were selling puff puff while others had bags of pure water on their shoulders.

"Buy yoghurt!"

"Kphun! Kphun!" it was a hissing sound common to puff puff sellers, accompanied with the clicking sound of their forks against their showglasses.

"Gala yes."

"Paper ngala!" a newspaper vendor was shouting.

"*Kari ile! Omo a bere oun e mu b'ode," it was the chinchin seller. The plantain chip seller was also using the same tone.
*Goes round the house, your child will ask what you bring from your outing


"*Robo Abeokuta re e!"
Here's robo from Abeokuta


Robo was a round peppery snack like kulikuli, which Bimbo loved to eat so much. Yemi would have bought it but he changed his mind. He would buy it in the morning while returning home because Bimbo had asked him to get some for her.

Something that always got Yemi soaked in laughter was the sight of the road sellers hawking bitter kola. Even Kolanut selling in the traffic mess was a bad business to him let alone bitter kola business.

If this could sell in Lagos, then a human dung selling and marketing business enterprise should thrive in Lagos too, Yemi's thought.
Michael's car joined in the forward march in the traffic jam queue. A lorry was reported to have knocked its engine few metres ahead of them.

"Thank God say na engine hin knock say hin no knock important person like me down," a young igbo boy selling 'eku gum' said in pidgin.
eku gum: gum on thick paper used for catching little rats


Michael's body was shaking visibly now as if he should manoeuvre his way out of the nose-to-nose vehicle transit, but there wasn't a way out of it.

Bimbo had been up since 6am, expecting the return of her father. When the rain began earlier, she was sad, knowing for sure that it would delay her father's return.

Childishly, she thought she could get the rain away by singing a popular poem, 'Rain Rain, Go Away."

Coincidentally, the rain stopped just in five minutes, such that her mother was seriously amazed.

"Bimbo, do you know what you've just done?"

"What?" Bimbo asked.

"You've just held the rain," she said. "Do you know what that means?"

"What could it mean?"

Bimbo's mother sat her down and began to feed her with superstitious beliefs and stories which sounded more like fables and myth. She told her of a very great man in the Yoruba kingdom who would help people bind up rain such that it wouldn't fall whenever they were going to have some big occasion.

The most scary part of the story to Bimbo was how the great rain-commander died mysteriously at his last attempt of holding back rain.

"A great thunder from God struck him and tore him apart," her mother said.

"Ah!" Bimbo screamed. She was scared. It was then Yemi arrived.

"I'm home!" Yemi screamed and threw his shirt at the sofa in his careless manner whenever he was at home.

Bimbo ran to give him a hug.

"Daddy!" she yelled when she hugged him.

"Welcome back," Yemi's wife greeted him.

"Daddy, how was the night?" Bimbo asked her father.

"Good," he said. "Deinde's snore made it bad anyway."

Bimbo laughed.

"Good for you daddy!"

"Good for me you say?" Yemi posed as if he was serious. "Bimbo what is my offence?"

"You should have set Deinde free," said Bimbo. "At least you could have had a sound sleep if he wasn't there anymore."

Yemi's wife hissed. Even Yemi himself was surprised at the dimension his daughter had taken to approach the matter this time again, such an a priori way, Yemi thought. He pulled his daughter close and whispered, "Bimbo, how would you feel if I don't come home from workplace anymore?"

"For what reason?" Bimbo was scared. Her mother countered her as she said, "Answer your daddy's question and stop asking questions for questions--how we you feel?"

"I won't feel anything," Bimbo took them aback, "because I will die," and their shocks disappeared.

Yemi sighed and replied, "If I let Deinde get away free, then I will have to take his place in the cell."

"Then don't help him again!" Bimbo said without brooding over it. The couple laughed.

Bimbo didn't want to here anymore thing about Deinde. The chapter was closed since setting him free would be to her father's detriment. It isn't worth it, she thought.

Bimbo had to walk away when it seemed her parents were just going to open the Deinde talk afresh.

I forgot to update and people here also forgot to remind me

We got well inside Bode’s room but he wasn’t there. Mother adjourned to the toilet to look for him. It was futile.

“Bode! Bode! Bode!” my mother must have shouted, going by the look of her mouth. She was shaking visibly. Maybe Bode had answered the call of her mother, I thought.

“She must have gone bodily to meet her mother in the herbalist’s place?” my mother said.

“In this dead night?” I replied. “I don’t think so.”

“Hmm…hey, I’m afraid Rose. What are we going to tell John now?”

“Like how? Did we do anything to him?” I said and frowned.

“Daddy won’t take that from us, I hope you know him,” she said.

“Enh, but how is this our concern?” I replied, bending to peep under the bed to find him. He wasn’t there.

“Even Toyosi would do anything to put us in trouble,” she said. “She would take us to court and ask us to provide her son by all means.”

I threw down the pillow, perhaps he was hiding underneath it. I opened the wardrobe and even pulled out the drawer. We were both acting nervously as though we were running mental. How possibly would someone fold himself into a wardrobe? That thought didn’t strike my head.
My mother even raised the mattress up and left it out of order after discovering that Bode wasn’t under it. The last place we would go search for him was my father’s room. We feared the man so much.

“Bode!” my mother was calling as she left for the parlour. She returned to say Bode wasn’t there. We have virtually checked the whole flat except my father’s room.

“Maybe we should go and check him in your room,” I said.

“No,” my mother disagreed at once. “Your father will suspect us if we do that.”

“So what’s your suggestion?” I asked.

“Let’s just retreat and return to your room to continue our sleep and do as if nothing has happened. Tomorrow morning we shall be sorting it out.”

“Alright then,” I said, stepping ahead of her. I can’t wait to be on my bed again because I am tired. But this time around I would make sure I don’t sleep with my two eyes closed to avoid being called in the dream. I would rather sleep like a duck, I thought.

“Rose, don’t go yet,” my mother signaled to me. “Let’s tidy up the room we’ve scattered.
I rushed to the wardrobe to arrange Bode’s cloth as they were earlier, then I found a calabash.
I was shocked. I tapped my mother to call her attention. She was shocked too when she saw it.
She shook like a leaf blown by a gentle breeze. Her mouth convulsed.

“Who put that there?” she was asking. If she hadn’t spoken with sign language I would have thought that she wasn’t directing the question to me but to someone else. How would I know who put the calabash there? The thing was merely half-filled with sand.

My mother feared that it would implicate us if father should discover it there later, so she picked it up after doing sign of the cross over her face and shoulder so that she could go and throw it far away. As she got to the entrance of Bode’s room, someone appeared at the door. It was John!

For minutes I felt the quietness of disability. Mother was shedding hot tears, father was pointing to her face; Bode was staring under father’s armpit in horror. My heart whispered, ‘I am disabled’.

A slap was done to my mother’s cheek. It must have reverberated going by the impetus in my father’s arm. His biceps was on the high at that point. The calabash fell off her grip and got smashed. Father pinned her to the wall and Bode came after me too. He sent a strong bite to my right side. I couldn’t raise my arm. I dare not do that.

When they were done with us after dealing with us like thieves, father locked us up in the room. I was left in the dark as regard their conversation. Mother could have begun the explanation, but our hands were both tied with ropes. They had even removed the bulb in that room so as to leave us in total darkness. There was weeping and gnashing of teeth in the belly of the dark. It was hell!

WE ARE ABLE...continuation
CHAPTER TWELVE
The following day, Sunday, Toyosi was back in our house. She was still as keen on knowing my name as the day before yesterday. My aunt’s instruction didn’t strike my opaque head. I was going to demonstrate it to her once and for all.

An inner voice came. At first I was shocked when I heard it and thought I could now hear with my ears, but when Toyosi turned around to answer her son, I knew I was still deaf because I didn’t still hear her voice. The inner voice had just asked me not to do it.
“Please demonstrate your name,” she asked again. As though she had enchanted me, I rose up and made some gestures with my hands. She was glad. She signaled that I should do it over and over again and I concurred. She also began to do it until I told her she had done a perfect job.

Toyosi left the home after presenting some goodies to me. It was soon dark. The day had gone to bed but my eyes were just clear. I wasn’t feeling sleepy at all. Mother came to my room and saw me turning around under the quilt after switching on the light of my room. My pillow was clutched to my chest.

“Rose, aren’t you sleeping?” she asked.

“I don’t feel like…sleeping,” I yawned. She came to sit beside me on the bed.

“What’s the matter Rose?”

“I don’t just know,” I said.

“Maybe you want me to rock you to sleep, Rose,” she said. “And I wouldn’t mind doing that.”

“I’m no more a small girl mum,” I replied. “By September I would be getting to JSS 1.”

“And then?” she said. She looked into my gray eyes and frowned. I didn’t know what she spotted in them. “Rose, are you nervous?”

“A bit,” I said. I was feeling nervous indeed. My heart was tapping faster than normal. My blood was burning within me. It was as though
something bad would happen.

“Don’t be nervous Rose,” she said. “Or would you come and sleep in my room?”

“I wouldn’t mind doing that,” I said. Mother bundled me up the way I saw father bundle Toyosi up those few times she was playing love with my father in our presence. She dumped me playfully on her bed. I ricocheted like that round thing my brother called ‘high land’. Mother’s bed was as fat as a thousand sliced bread packed together. Sure no one would have a bad dream on such, I thought.

As soon as my back made intimate contact with the mattress, my eyes began to close. My breath poured easily. I fell into unconsciousness. A dream began to form on my face.

Vividly in my dream I saw a woman sitting on a mat beside an old man whose teeth was like a rotten banana. The ambiance of the room was familiar to me. The woman was the one I saw calling some statements into a basin of water having my image some weeks back. This time around, she wasn’t speaking with her mouth, instead, she was gesticulating.

“Bode, the son of John, I am calling your name right now. Answer me to death right now, Bode!” she said in sign language. “Answer me to death right now!”

It was like a film show to me. An image had formed inside the water. She was shocked when she saw the image in it. It wasn’t mine, but that of Bode. I could read disappointment and shock on her face when she saw the image.
I thumped up. So it was a dream, I thought. I tapped my mother to life.

“Mother, I have a dream.”

“A dream?”

“Yes mother, a bad dream,” I said, breathing like a cow.

“About what?” my mother yawned and beamed at the wall clock. It was just 2 am.

“Something like that one I had in Aunty Rachael’s house three weeks back,” I said.

“Do you mean the dream about someone gawking at your image in a basin of water?” my mother asked in a fearful manner.

“Yes mother,” I said. In fact, this time around the woman was speaking in sign language.

“Ah! Calling your name in sign language?” Mother said and deflated my two cheeks in between her palms.

“Not my name this time around,” I said. “She was calling Bode’s name.”

“In sign language?”

“Exactly, yes,” I said, sweating.
Mother was glad I didn’t respond to the call since it wasn’t my name that was called by the strange woman in the dream. However, she felt concerned for Bode.

“Who’s this strange woman of darkness calling us at night? Why can’t she present herself in the day? She must be a coward.” Her heart thumped. She was scared. “Now that you said that the woman is communicating in sign language, are you safe at all? What is the probability that she won’t pounce on you in the next dream?” My mother faced the ceiling and began to weep.

“Mum,” I said and tapped her. She looked at me. “I think I know who she is.”

“Who?” she asked in an intriguing manner and I answered pointblank, “Toyosi!”

“How do you know?”

“She asked for my name yesterday, but I demonstrated her son’s name, Bode to her.”

“Ah!” my mother held me tight. “A witch cried yesterday, a child died today, who don’t know that it is the witch who killed the child?” she spoke in proverbs.

“Mother, let’s go and check Bode in his room first,” I said out of concern. Mother and I began to head for his room. He wasn’t in.
“What?” we both screamed in sign language.

Titi see me as my face change when I look inside my phone see the text message wey Titi-wannabe send give me.

"What's the matter?" Titi ask me.

"Nothing too much," I try tok like say me sef don tey inside Oyinbo world. Make I tok truth, that Titi wey dey inside phone don help me small sha o. My grammar wey be like chicken own don improve wella. At least I dmon sabi pass the monkey wey sabi book pass for world now.

If to say na to just dey flirt up and down ni, then that Titi wey dey inside my FB chat no too bad sef, but na wife gan gan I dey find, but I just get high taste sha.

Carol dey come my shop well well come buy something. She dey even always do many many thing make she take catch my attention sef. She even fine sef, but wetin spoil matter be say she be housemaid for one rich woman wey dey maltreat am pass anything.

Carol fine well well sef, but wetin dey there be say, she no even go secondary school at all at all. From primary straight na hin she don turn slave girl for inside person house.

Carol tell me say na corridor she dey sleep whereas her mistress dogs dey sleep ontop mattrass for inside room.

"That woman too bad so tey she no born any pikin--na dogs be her pikins," Carol go make fun if dem send am come buy foodstuff for my shop.

Carol go don reach nineteen years then. I senior ram with eight years nah. Make she go find her own mates, I go tok for my title block mind like say me sef na one ogbonge rich man.

My grammar wey no good no pass say I no develop am since nineteen-ninety-year-wey-I-no-fit-remember wey I don leave school. When I dey school sef na pidgin we dey yarn, so how I wan kon take sabi yarn correct English?

Now I dey feel say me don get two Titi options: one wey dey physical and one wey be say na only her picture I just dey see. Me sef no bother ask am say make she post her other pictures again when I don sabi say she no be the real Titi.

Anyhow sha, one Titi wey dey handy better pass nine Titi wey dey inside 'Facebush'--na Facebook I turn to Facebush so o.

Now make I kuku tell this Titi wey dey real life say I wan marry am. Abi make I even tell the two of them sef. Anyone wey go gree ni...no fight dey there.

For December 20, 2013, I compose my message send am put for Facebook chat give Titi wey be say na inside phone she dey siddon kule all the time.

'I love you and I want to marry you'

That Titi send me 'LWKMD' kon join am with 'ROTFL'.

When I first see the message, I fear say na virus don enter my phone. I run off am remove my battery because me never see that kind jagajaga thing before since past one month wey I join the world wey den dey chat.

When phone first come out that time, na 3310 me sef kuku follow them buy. Na later I change go buy Siemens because na that Jersey I dey see my club Real Madrid dey wear that time. Me believe say the phone go good well well since wey be say all the people wey dey inside that jersey--Rolando Da Viva abi na Dilemma, Zinedine Zenden abi na Mercedez Benz plus Sweet Figure...em, em Luiz Fingo, all of them like that sha, dem dey play well well inside that jersey.

That Siemens make me 'see mess' true true. Na battery be hin problem. If I charge am full finish, five minutes the thing don dey do battery low. Wetin dey vex person be say hin battery low na ringing tone o...one annoying sound go just begin dun Ko ko ko ko ko ko ko...till infinity...

That Siemens wan make person run mad. I don throway am nack wall many times make hin just stop that vexing sound wey hin dey do, but since say na kpalasa, the guy no gree spoil o.

The phone get one small 'horn' for head sha. Na wetin make me like am be that. You for see how my face be when the Siemens enter canal water one day kon swim comot my reach. That day eh...I no fit laugh grin
If you see the way this thing take swim inside the canal...eh...you go laff taya. I for put my hand inside the canal water pick am sharp sharp, but na one strong poopoo run waka come from nowhere kon hug am so tey, for long den just dey escort themselves swim comot.

Na after that Siemens na hin I kon buy one Nokia phone, torchlight wey I use for four years. Now na just last month I buy my Tecno phone, N3 wey I dey use.

I on my phone again, go my facebook chat see that LWKMD and ROTFL inside. Sharperly O don off am again begin run go phone flasher place. I trust that guy, Segun. Na hin dey help me repair all my phones that time. Make hin help me check the viruses flash them comot one time.

But Segun don do me one bad thing before sha o. Na hin sell one Siemens battery give me that year wey hin tell me make I charge am six hours before I use am. I even leave am for fire pass six hours sef, so the thing go fit last well well.

The desktop charger sef don hot well well when I remove the battery put am inside my Siemens wey hin charging point don spoil before.

As I put am finish, na one game wey be WAY OUT arcade game I dey play inside o. True true, I never use am pass fifteen minute when I begin hear ko ko ko ko ko ko. Battery low!!!

Now as I give Segun my phone say na virus dey inside, hin on am ask me where the virus.

I begin do small small dey slide my phone go the facebook chat. Me kuku don subscribe for MTN so data dey well well. I dey fear sef make virus no kon go enter my hand o. Me fear that LWKMD pass that ROTFL.

"You don see am?" I ask Segun.

"Wey am?" Segun dey ask me.

"You no get eye see am? You no see LWKMD and ROTFL ni?"

Segun burst enter inside laugh. Hin even fall for the small 'apoti' hin take siddon sef. When hin siddon back, I ask am, "Wetin happen nah? Why you dey make fun of me nah?"

"Oga Chiboy," Segun tok. "This your phone no go fit last you with this strong strong virus wey dey inside o."

"Ha!" I shout put my hands for head.

"Na the strongest viruses ever liveth be this ones o! LWKMD na Lukumon D be hin name o. LUKUMON DEATH and that other virus, that ROTFL na ROTIMI FELA o. Both of them na the baddest virus ever liveth," Segun tok with bone face o.

"Flash them comot one time!" I fear.

"You better dey happy say you run come my place quick quick o, if not, that LUKUMON D for kill your phone die within two hours. That ROTIMI FELA na hin servant wey dey help am."

"Quick, quick, flash them comot! How much be my money?" na so me ask quick o.

"Na just 1k," Segun tok as if say na on top agbalumo tree money dey grow.

"One ginni?" I put my ear for ground. "I no get that kind money o. See this 'Yoruba Yoruba' boy wey wan dupe Omo Nna o. Dem no born you!"

"Okay nah Oga Chiboy, dey carry your phone go nah. Buh if he spoil before you reach house no tell me say I no tell you o."

Segun face strong. Hmm. Hin dey serious o. And I never even sell much that day o. Which kind expenses be this nah?

"Sege, Sege, na play I dey nah!" I dey rub Segun for back make e fit bring the price come down. "Help me do am #500 nah. I go pay you, see, in cash lesekese, now now," I tok.

"Okay, bring your money first," Segun tok. He collect am pocket am sharply. "Na because na you o."

"Sege, Sege! OBJ," I dey praise am make hin head for dey swell. "You see say you no fit dupe sharp ibo guy like me," I conclude.

Segun just dey laugh with the boy wey dey for hin side.

"Chiboy, you too get aroro," Segun tok. "Take your phone I don do am."

I surprise as I check the facebook chat see say all our conversations don clear. Segun don do magic.

I begin dey waka go back my shop dey look inside phone again. Chatting mode activated.
Na small e remain make one bicycle jam me. If no be say I quickly hold the handlebar of the bicycle with my right hand, me and the boy wey dey ride am for don dey for ground now now.

Now I post message give facebook Titi again:

'As I was say before virus attack. I say I want marry you.'

My phone beep immediately:

"Serious? LWKMD!!! ROTFL!!! LMAO!!!"

Chai! LUKUMON D don come again with one new friend LMAO!!!

I nearly faint

Since last week, December 10 wey she don waka enter my shop collect that 3k, me never see am again. I don even register put for facebook because of am, so tey I type Titi inside search like say na only am be dey answer Titi for the whole world.

When I see thousands of Titi wey their face pictures show for me, I shock. The result wey I see no be small thing o. The thing just resemble that time wey Mr Bean dey pursue one fowl wey carry hin flight ticket run, so tey hin pursue am enter one big poultry wey one thousand fowl dey. Oya nah, make I kon begin find my own Titi inside!

Wetin vex me be say guys sef dey inside there dey answer Titi. Na many kind of Titi I even see there. I check Titi titititi o o o o o o o o(till infinity) so tey my Tecno phone N3 wey I just buy begin spark light. The thing hot kon off sef. But me don gather many Titi names put for head sha--I see Titilayo, Titilope, Titilolu, Teetee, Titioye and so on.

I don even customise some Titi wey wan resemble the one wey I dey find. Like three of them sha. I even send message put their wall say make dem accept me say I be friend.

Wetin shock me now now as I see Titi be say one of the Titi wey I dey chat with don even accept say na she be the one wey I dey tok about. I ask am say why she never show for my shop since December 10 and she tell me say she dey down with malaria. I ask am say make she send some of her other pictures because na only one I dey see. She tell me say her subscription go soon finish as we dey chat and she no get money for hand to take do am.

I ask am say which one she dey do and she tok say na MTN Night plan she been don dey since that time wey Airtel dey threaten say dem go do am make BlackBerry plan no work for Android phone again.

I believe say our love don dey work because she sent me message for facebook say she loved me. That day, I happy so tey I wan do mistake nack my head for the pillar wey dey my house; that pillar wey I mistakenly nack my head on top when radio commentary of Nigeria football against Korea for 2010 Fifa World Cup tok say we don score third goal.

Make I yarn tory of the world cup game small sef. That day, I dey watch the match o. But when I watch am reach where Korea give us two-one na hin I waka comot go house dey vex say den don dey win us. I dey house kon dey restive so tey I begin dey blame myself sef, say why I no kuku watch am to the end, because as I dey here so sef, my mind no dey at rest.

Na so I carry Radio dey here the commentary. Na so we play penarity score equalising goal. Na Yakubu vex me. Then tok say the guy just dey misplay.

All of a sudden, commentator shout say "Gooooooaaal for Nigeria!!!" I run like one crazy person go nack my head for pillar outside. Just then na hin I hear say, "Oh no, it's not a goal, but so close!"

Chai! Naija sha! Den fit kill person o! No wonder people dey get hypertension dey die anyhow.

Back to Titi matter. When the message enter my facebook that time, na small he remain make my head hit that pillar again. But e go worth am nah! Abi? This one na love matter o. If things work wella, I fit marry am nah!

Okay, I can sent you change to take to buy card to subscribe na so I send am message that time so tey, she say make I just use the money buy credit text am. I buy credit wey worth #4,000 give am dey hope say I don get wife of my dream. At least she don tok am say she love me and hope to be mine.

When I ask Titi where she dey live, she tell me say the question no be now because her daddy no wan see person with am for now. I first dey shocked when she send that message.

I thought say you have finish your NYSC? Which one you is yarning now?[i]

[i] lol...darling, I'm just joking. Like seriously, you took me serious? grin

Why not? You know me is a serius man I reply. Me is want to marry you, not just to flirt with you

Hmm. And you will enjoy me cos I'm a virgin

A virgin? Good! Me thought before before no more virgin

Now you know, there is and it's me, Titi. Beep you later Chiboy, wanna sleep huh. ZzzzZ

Now as I see Titi dey waka hastily for my front, I run follow am. Na one T-shirt wey den crest 'My Oga At The Top' for hin back she wear. She even dey hurry sef, so tey I begin dey rush say make I catch up with am.

As I dey run towards her na so the first message enter my facebook chat:

Hi dear! na she send the message. I reach her side kon grip her hand.

"Hi my babe," I tell am real life say make I give am surprise, but she look me hissed.

"Hey, you this guy. What's your probs?" she tok kon pull my hand away. She still dey tok when another message sound for my phone. I shock because I no see Titi with phone nah! I run check the message kon see: Hey darling, I'm beeping you and you don't want to answer me? What's wrong this morning?"

Na so I shock!

So, na fake Titi I don dey chat with since all these days.

Chai!!!

Okay, I dey come

burkutu:
Guy, which kind levels u wan form so? Abeg, finish wetin u start. I no like dis kain tin joor

Toyade888:
bros abeg com update o.....me dey follow u o

ezeigbo194:
how we no go take follow nw......com update joor......bt diz story looks familiar

classiclee:
Bros abeg com cntinue

me think say nobody dey follow sef. Okay I go continue asap.

Yemi passed by a woman roasting corns for sale. The flakes of the coal beneath the red hot gauze kept spreading in the air as she blew air on it with a local handfan.

The sight was provoking Yemi to anger, which he had to fight hard to keep under control.

"Air pollution," Yemi grumbled, his head turned to one side, looking at the sight still. "Only God knows where we're going in this country."

The corn seller noticed him when she raised up her head and said, "Do you want to--" she sneezed into the corn, "buy corn?"

"No, thanks," Yemi said and increased his pace. He wasn't going to call for the repetition of the happening in the canteen few days back.

Yemi remembered the man who helped him out that day--very haggard but nice, he thought.

"Truly, it's not good to judge by appearance," Yemi said.

Yemi's thought was racing from one to another. He knew his daughter, Bimbo would be eagerly waiting for him now. She would be expecting some 'a-things' he would bring home that hazy morning.

Sometimes when Yemi was on night duty, Bimbo would delay her departure to school just to wait at home for her father's arrival to share those prison experiences, only to get to school late and get punished, yet she hadn't learnt her lessons.

The cloud was getting darker. Iy was as though a heavy downpour would soon visit the face of the earth.

Yemi began to make haste towards the bus stop because of the fear he was harbouring for the nimbostratus cloud above his head, believing that the would pour heavily very soon.

It was a Saturday morning. Now the brightness of the morning had turned glum as though an eclipse was happening. The cloud began to unleash its tears upon the earth in trickles. The birds lay spread-eagled across the face of the sky, swarming homeward.

Yemi's home was still quite a long distance away. Earlier, he was planning to trek home, since he had nothing serious to go home to do, but now he needed to take a taxi.

Yemi was still thinking about getting a taxi when one pulled up before the little shed where he was shielding himself from the rain in the company of two goats and a chicken. Those creatures were shivering very severely.

Yemi ran out of his hiding place to get into the taxi. On his way, he plodded into a puddle and some dirty water splashed all over his body. He didn't wait to look at the mess all over, because he didn't want to miss the taxi.

Yemi sat beside the driver at the front. They were the only two in the car.

"How much is the money?" Yemi asked the driver and he told him.

The car chugged on without any exchange of further verbal communication. Yemi was half-way into the journey when he peeped into the side mirror and saw the face of the driver clearly. It was the same man who bailed him out of the tribal-marked faced woman in the canteen the week before.

Yemi faced the man and said, "Wow! It's you again!"

The driver's face turned right towards Yemi.

"Do I know you sir?" he asked politely.

"Yes, Yemi replied. "You paid for me in the canteen last week."

"Oh!" the huge dirty young man exclaimed with glee. "Don't mind that woman. She's too tough."

"It's not her fault," Yemi gave a prompt reply. "I should have--"

"I forgot to ask for your name sir," the driver cut in.

"Oh, I'm Yemi sir," Yemi said. He was expecting him to tell his name in return but the man was silent about his own name, probably because he had to battle the steering to avoid plodding into a ditch which he saw just when they were close to reaching it. He had the control eventually.

"Michael, that's my name," said the man.

"So, you drive taxi?" Yemi said.

"That's what I do sir. Any problem?"

"Nothing," said Yemi. "I'm a warder too."

"Okay."

Yemi was seeing the man as a very special fellow. It was rare having a driver in Lagos speak politely to you. Starting from the way they charge you when you board their buses or taxis to the way they wanted you down immediately you got to your destination, one would never want to make friends with them.

"You're somehow special," Yemi said of the young man in his mid thirties.

"How?" the driver asked in a puzzled manner.

"Your gentle manner, your good intonation, your good communication skills, unlike many other drivers on the road who are always drunk early in the morning."

"Are you sure you are not flattering me?" the huge man said. He was smiling.

"Sure," said Yemi. "When I saw the way you dressed, I was hasty to judge you as one of the hooligans on the street, but you have proven to me beyond all reasonable doubt that you are different."

"Uhn," the driver made a sound. "This job of ours doesn't give us much time to take good care of our body, that's why you see me always rough as this. Of course driving vehicle isn't an office job. And putting on tie isn't going to go well with us."

The conversation went on and on as both of them revealed more things about their personal lives, family, work, exposure and more.

The taxi driver was generous and kind enough in Yemi's perspective. He had just dropped him around his house.

"Here's my home," Yemi said as he got ready to get down. By then the rain had stopped. It wasn't a serious rain, having stopped just within five minutes it began.

"Great! You've got a good home here," said the taxi driver.

Yemi counted two hundred naira, in twenty naira denomination and put it forward but the driver rejected it.

"Keep your money Mr Yemi, said Michael.

Yemi was surprised. It hadn't happened to him, a driver asking him not to pay for transport fare. All the ones he had met in the past, even the ones who lived in his neighbourhood, must make sure he remitted their monies to them even till the last penny.

Yemi could recall the incidence the month ago when he waved down a car which seemed to be a private one. The owner made him feel comfortable as if he was giving him a lift (free ride) but when Yemi got to his destination, the man asked him for money.

"Do you mean I shouldn't pay sincerely?" Yemi wanted to be sure of what he heard.

"Yes, I'm giving you a free ride sir," Michael said.

"It's becoming every day issue now, last time you paid for me in the canteen and this time again you're giving me a free lift. Thank you."

"Sir, I don't mind helping you again and again," Michael said.

Yemi was suspecting something. The young man was Michael by name--what a similarity? He could be angel Michael, Yemi thought in a sheepish manner.

"Mr. Michael, won't you come in with me to know my family and have hot coffee with us? It's cold out there as you can see."

"Don't bother Mr. Yemi," Michael spoke politely. "I'll take my leave now. Bye sir."

Michael turned the ignition key and the taxi revved to life.

Yemi remained on the spot, wondering:

"Hope I'm not already seeing my guardian Angel. He's always going everywhere to help me now. This is serious. If I see him one more time helping me, then no doubt he's the Angel Michael in heaven," Yemi talked to himself.

Bimbo was now bored. She was longing to have the topic changed immediately. Yemi had often called Bimbo a lazy girl just because she wouldn't buy the idea of staying too long listening to stories as such, yet she would be the one to ask for it.

Bimbo was pulling at her father's chin as she lay her head on his laps. Yemi knew exactly what she meant.

"I know what you want, Bimbo," her father said with a smile.

"Then give it to me daddy," Bimbo replied. The other Yemi frowned and said, "Dear, this girl will get spoilt in our hands if we keep giving her everything as she wanted."

"Let's give her," said Yemi. "At least she's our only begotten son."

They laughed when Yemi mentioned 'only begotten son'.

"Deinde's talk, isn't it?" Yemi asked. She nodded in the positive.

"Well...I guess he'll be remaining in prison till Mr Aluko's case is over."

"Like how many days?" Bimbo asked. It was as though she wasn't buying the idea of leaving Deinde too long in the cell.

"Days you say?" Yemi laughed. "It's better you say years-perhaps two to three years or forever."

"Ah!" Bimbo screamed. She was sad. Then she asked tenderly, "Dad, are you not the one watching over him?"

"Yes I am," Yemi said, having no clue what she would say next.

"Then can't you get him out of there?" Bimbo said in a childish manner. "What are you waiting for?"

It caught Yemi and his wife off guard. It had never occurred to them that Bimbo could say such a thing--setting a criminal free.

Yemi clicked her nose playfully and said, "Bimbo, you sound funny. What power does an ordinary warder like me has?"

Bimbo's mother was just laughing, talking amidst her laughter. She had to hold on to the edge of the chair to prevent herself from falling. Bimbo hated such kind of laughter. She was teed up.

"Mum, you just keep laughing at me on something that's not funny," she voiced out, pointing at her.

"It's because you're talking silly talks," her mother replied playfully. "Maybe you shouldn't put your small mouths in big matters anymore.

Bimbo hated being called a small-mouthed thing, just as she hated being called big-mouthed too. Her mother had always referred to her as both on different times as occasion demanded.

"Mummy stop it!" she screamed and sulked. Bimbo was always a serious person, taking every joke seriously. This had earned her names amidst her mate, calling her, "Aunty Jeje".

Bimbo wouldn't go provoking people to anger and she would want to be treated in exactly the same way. In such regard, she was like her grandfather, her mother's father who died when she(Bimbo) was only eight. That man was a no-nonsense man.

Yemi had to check through a buttered bread which Deinde's younger sister would pass to him. At first, Yemi stared long into the young lady's face. She had such a familar face of someone he saw not quite long.

"Seems I've seen this face before," Yemi asked.

"Yes, at the court," the lady said. Yemi remembered at once. She was the same smiling lady back then, whose smile turned into a whine when Yemi approached her to ask how the case went.

"And who are you to Deinde?" Yemi probed further.

"A sister," she said.

"Younger or older," Yemi wanted to know, yet it was conspicuous. The lady grinned and said, "Oga, you should know so well. Can't you see I'm not more than twenty? My brother is going to be twenty-six next month," she said and then burst into tears.

Yemi wondered what a moody person she was. She could be smiling this moment and at the next, weeping. Such kind of lady wouldn't be good for a housewife," Yemi thought. You'd be hurting her unknowingly, she would be smiling, only to burst out weeping and accusing you one day.

Yemi was moved to pet her, but he wouldn't. He was only doing his job, wasn't he? Instead, he shifted his attention to the bread and said, "Where did you get this bread from?"

"It's Agege bread," she spoke in a tert manner.

"Agege or Ajegunle bread is not what matters here. I mean to say how did you come about this bread or let me put it this way, who gave the bread to you?"

"Who?" she said and laughed fleetingly. "Of course I bought it from a street hawker."

"Do you know where the hawker resides?" Yemi asked. It sounded funny to her.

"How would I know?" she frowned.

"Well...I'm just after the safety of your brother Deinde and I think...that's all," Yemi said. "Em...what's that name of yours?"

"Desola," she said immediately.

"Em...sister Desola, you'll have to taste part of the bread," said Yemi. A little wrinkle gathered on her forehead as she said, "How would I poison my brother?"

"I didn't say you want to, did I?" Yemi said. "Of course it's hard outside there now, or don't you think the hawker may want to get that done?"

"Impossible!" said Desola.

"Then prove it!" Yemi said.

Angrily, Desola tore out a large chunk off the bread and scooped it into her mouth. Then she managed to say, "Can you see that?"

"Pass," he gave her a go-ahead. "Only two minutes."

Deinde's sister was very much emotional. It was as if the 'two-minute' time limit was only useful for her to weep, and now when she was about to say something meaningful, Yemi was there, shouting, "Madam, your time is up!"

"Be patient Oga warder!" Deinde retorted arrogantly. Yemi stared at him and did not know what to say, though his heart was saying, 'Who give him the gut to yell at me like that?"

Desola left soon after.

CHAPTER ELEVEN
Toyosi came one weekend. She wanted me to begin teaching her sign language. I became glad and began to teach her with immediate effect. She would write whatever she needed to know on paper and I would make effort to demonstrate it to her in sign language.
My father John hadn’t changed for good. I keep wondering why one’s biological father could deny one in such manner. If he didn’t want me why then did he get my mother impregnated and then made me come to existence? He should have aborted my pregnancy while I was in the womb, I thought.
“Mother, why is this man still like before?” I asked my mother.
“He will change,” mother replied. “Let’s just keep trusting God and praying to him to touch the heart of your father. The Lord who touched the heart of Bode’s mother will surely touch his heart too,” she said.
“Amen,” I replied.
Toyosi came around at another weekend. She was furious when she saw Bode in the act of bully. If not for the fact that I have permanently jettisoned the act of revenge, I would have torn him apart. Toyosi came in time, just when Bode gave my nape a hard slap, having a leaf between his lips to mock me. I had turned my neck upon my knee, gnashing my teeth. The way Bode behaved really depicted the fact that he wasn’t a bastard—I mean to say that he was my father’s child indeed, because that way exactly must have been my father’s way of life at his childhood too—wicked ways.
I could read Toyosi’s lips. She was screaming at her son. She rushed towards him and caught him by the left arm. The rest was a story—she beat him black and blue.
“Sorry young girl,” she said to me in sign language.
“Thank you,” I replied her, raising my face again.
Toyosi wrote a note. She wanted me to teach her how to spell her name ‘Toyosi’ in sign language. If she had learnt the alphabets very well, she would have been able to do that easily.
I demonstrated the spelling of her name in sign language. She was glad. She opened her bag and gave me some confectioneries she had bought. She had also bought some fried rice in an eatery. She gave me a bottle of orange juice. I gulped it down without care. It wasn’t the first time I would be collecting gifts from her.
Toyosi watched as I gulped the juice. She began to caress my hair. She spoke to me in the little sign language she had read. Then, she wrote another note, asking me to spell my own name for her in sign language too.
“My name is very simple…,” I said. There was a knock at the door.
Toyosi hasted to open the door for the knocker. Rachael my aunty came in. The look on her face was rather outlandish. I wonder what had happened to her.
“Welcome ma,” I said.
“Thank you Rose,” she replied faintly. She saw the juice half-drunken on the table and frowned.
Toyosi went before her and genuflected for her to pay her some respect.
“Stand up my wife,” she helped to raise her up. “Where is my sister?” Rachael asked me in sign language.
“My mummy has gone to the market,” I replied.
“Your father, what about him?”
“He’s gone to work,” I replied.
“Does he work every day?”
“Yes, except on Sundays,” I replied.
“Okay, I’ll wait for your mummy anyway,” she said.
“She’ll soon be back,” I said.
Toyosi was just beaming at us. She didn’t understand much of what we were communicating since she wasn’t vast in sign language yet. She seemed to be uncomfortable with my aunt’s presence, perhaps because of the halt to the sign language I was teaching her. I could see her speaking to my aunt. She must be bidding her goodbye, going by the way she was rising up, her shiny cerise bag hung to her left shoulder. She had a vignette on her neck which was the spot on her body that had become a cynosure of my aunt’s eyes since she came in.
Just when she was up, Bode rushed in again and gave me a bite on my right shoulder. Toyosi swiftly grabbed him before he could escape and beat him silly. Bode wept bitterly. The noise of his cry was surely ear-splitting, going by the manner some grotesque had formed around the faces of the two women—Toyosi and my aunt. Toyosi twisted his arm and pinched him. The story of his face was all about tears for the space of ten minutes after, even when her mother had left. He was insulting me, but since I couldn’t hear him, I wasn’t affected a bit. To make me affected, Bode poked the leaf into her mouth again. I wasn’t bothered this time around.
As soon as Toyosi left the house, Rachael swiftly drew close to me.
“Rose, who drank that juice halfway?” she asked in a critical manner.
“Me,” I said.
“You?” she frowned. “Have I not told you that you shouldn’t collect anything from her anymore?”
“Ahn ahn, aunty, why? Why don’t you want me…?”
“Hey! Rose! You are very stubborn. The last time you came to my house, remember I told you that you shouldn’t trust someone so much. Why are you so much trusting that Toyosi can’t harm you? I’m saying it again, don’t take anything from Toyosi. I mean that woman should not be trusted too soon!”
I bowed my head in cogitation. Whom do I follow, my mother or my aunt. My mother was the one who asked me to be free with Toyosi because it is only through her that we can actually get the favour of my dad. If not for Toyosi who came to fetch us from our refuge the other time, perhaps my mother would still be staying out of wedlock till now.
“But…but mother asked me to be free with her!” I replied. My hands shook as I spoke.
“Hannah asked you to be free with her?” Rachael said as if it was a serious issue. “Let her come and I’ll challenge her about that.” The door began to open. It was my mother.
“You are truly the daughter of our father,” my aunty said as my mother got in.
“Why d’you say so?”
“We’re just talking about you Hannah,” Rachael smiled. She was beautiful in her own way. Her mouth was shaped in that oval Terminalia catappalike fruit shape. A black little round spot stood out beside her nose. That was what some of my mates called ‘Sign of God’.
“Gossipers,” my mother said jokingly in smiles.
“Why don’t you hear us before judging us?” she said. “Em…by the way, did you meet Toyosi on your way coming?
“I didn’t meet her, was she here?”
“Yes…she just left,” we said.
“Oh, Toyosi, I wished to see her,” my mother was sad. She had so much loved her now. Since our reconciliation with my dad, Toyosi had been helpful in the area of helping us get things done. She was the one who involved my daddy in registering me for Secondary Education I would be commencing next month. If not for her support in convincing my dad to do that, John wouldn’t have bothered paying.
“Was she the one who brought you these things?” my mother asked and I replied, “Yes.”
“God will bless her mightily. Whatever she lays her hands upon shall prosper,” my mother prayed for her in her amateur sign language. I had to correct some of her misspoken words. At that juncture, she noticed the look on Rachael’s face. “Rachael what’s the matter? Why is your face like this?”
Rachael spoke. She said she was suspicious of Toyosi’s sudden moves.
“Prophetess you have come again,” my mummy was laughing. “It is you who said that my husband will receive me back; it happened through Toyosi, now you are doubting the motive of the person God used to bring the reconciliation.”
“Just be careful of her, that’s all I have to say,” Rachael said soberly.
“Okay o, we have heard you,” my mother replied and made up a stiff neck. She moved her nose in a mocking way.
“Well, Hannah, just be careful.”
Rachael saw the notes Toyosi had written. She read them out. Thereafter, she asked, “Did she ask you to gesture her name in the sign language?” she asked.
“Yes, I replied!”
Rachael spotted the note in which she was asking me to demonstrate my own name too.
“Did she also ask you to demonstrate your own name?” Rachael asked fast. Her face was folded up in fright.
“Yes she did and…”
“What? Did you do it?” Rachael grabbed my arms in fright.
“I—I haven’t,” I said
. “I was about to say it when you came in.”
“Huugh,” she sighed in relief and sank to her chair.
“Don’t you dare tell her your name, Rose!” she said.
“Why?” my mother and I asked. She couldn’t say a word. A horrible look was glommed to her gloomy face. Mother and I laughed at her.

Chapter Ten

Contrary to my thought, father welcomes us heartily. He embraces and kisses my mummy in the presence of Toyosi who is smiling.

"Husband and wife, open the door and kiss," Toyosi says and laughs.

"Go and meet your husband too, Toyosi," my father says.

When my mummy tells me all these, I doubt it.

"Are you sure Toyosi is happy with us now?" I ask her.

"Didn't you see it with your eyes yesterday?" mummy replies me.

"But this is strange and so sudden, how come?"

"That's the miracle of God," says mummy. "Don't you know that when the way of a person pleases God he will make his enemies to be at peace with him?"

But Toyosi didn't tell us the reason why she had to change her mind towards us suddenly like that. Bode hasn't changed a bit, yet his mother did warn him not to continue misbehaving towards us.

It is holiday period, so I spend all my time at home enjoying myself. Daddy isn't bothering me anymore. Infact he is a changed man too. I think he is behaving according to Toyosi's dictate. She has told him to be kind to us because we are his legitimate family and not herself.

Mummy shares the testimony in her church of what God has done to her; how God has changed her husband's heart. My church is a large one. I didn't even know my mum is up there on the podium sharing her testimony until I begin to see the interpretation of her testimony in sign language; how would I have known she is up there when the church has relegated we, the special ones so called, to the back of the Church? I have asked our 'deaf and dumb' interpreter a question once, during question and answer session after our Sunday school.

"The topic today is Show Love Without Discrimination, ma, but why don't I see the love in our church here?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" she asks me.

"According to the Bible Reading, it is stated that it is wrong to tell one person sit here while you tell another person come over to this high seat. But why is it that we deaf and dumb in this church have to sit far away from the stage like this?"

The interpreter smiles. She must have been thinking of what to reply.

"Hmm..." she smiles. "Rose, it is to avoid distraction, that's why? If we do our service close to them, they will be distracted with the movements of our hands."

"I disagree!" I barge in. "Why are we not also distracted with the movement of their mouths? We don't hear the sound of their mouths, our hand movements don't produce any sound too, we only get to see each other, that's all. It's fifty-fifty!"

She becomes mute. But that was not all. I still have more to say in rage:

"Why can't the preacher even be preaching in sign language and someone should be interpreting to them in voice language? This is also discrimination!"

Everyone laughed that day in the deaf and dumb class and I was rechristened 'Miss Discrimination'.

CHAPTER NINE

My body shakes as I set my eyes on her. What can she be here for? Even my mother isn't asking her anything. Suddenly, her stern face drops and she seems sober.

"G--good day," she greets us. I have read her lips to get what she says.

"What do you want?" my aunt challenges her. She didn't invite her in.

"I--I come to apologize," she must have said, going by the gesture she makes.

My aunty didn't take her serious at first, but eventually, she did.

Toyosi tells us that she has regretted her actions. She says that she wants us back in the house. When my mummy tells her that it won't be possible, she began to beg her.

My mummy tells me the whole story in detail; according to her, John is getting worried over not having anybody to take care of Bode and himself. He visits Toyosi in her matrimonial home often until she advised him to take back his wife and children.

"Don't worry, John will take a very good care of you and your daughter," mummy says, mimicking in sign language how Toyosi has said it.

"So, after throwing our loads out that man still have the gut to beg us to return, huh!" I say angrily.

"Hey, Rose, he's your daddy, so you have no right to call him that man!" Rachael says. "By the way, this is just a kind of an answer to our prayers. Didn't I tell you yesterday that if you go there tomorrow to beg him, he will listen to you?"

"Heard," I gesticulate. "What about that wicked wh'ore, did she apologize to you before she leaves? Remember she was bragging few days back that she will do something terrible to us."

"She did apologize," my mother says.

"Remember I say she will come and do that in one of our prayers," Rachael says. She always love bringing God, church, bible and prayers into every little matter. I love her for that anyway.

"Younger sister, you are a prophetess," my mummy makes fun of her and pushes her head slightly.

"That's a gift from above sister," Rachael says. "Even before my husband died, I foretold his death; it came as a vision, but my husband didn't pay attention." Rachael's face develops into a grotesque. Remembering her husband has remained her ugliest moments; a cross to bear.

My mother turns to me and says, "Rose, infact Toyosi promised to come and spend this weekend with us so that she can have time to have fun with you."

"With me? Why?" I say in an unforgiven manner.

"Rose, let her come, there is no big deal about that. Afterall we have prayed to have peace with everyone and our prayer is being answered right now," mother says. "Rose, she even said that you will teach her the sign language when she comes."

My aunt makes her mouth into something for a while. She must have coughed, going by the way the lips are set. Seems she doesn't approve of the idea that I teach her sign language.

My mother looks at her face for a while. A sparkle of shock is on her face. It is as if the cough is a significance of something I don't know.

"First thing tomorrow morning, Rachael, I'm off to my husband's house," mummy says eventually, shutting her eyes, sobbing.

I can't sleep at night. I just keep rolling around on my fat bed. My eyes are clear. My mind flashes back to past events; those harassments from my father. I weep. I hope it won't continue.

My dream is the sweetest ever; I ride on a horse with my father. I speak with him verbally, Bode sitting with my mummy on the other white horse. A long horsetail is in my grip. I feel like a queen.

I come off the horse's back and fall to the ground.

"What the hell!" I have just rolled off my fat bed to the ground. Dream is silly indeed.

CHAPTER EIGHT

My aunt and my mother are still in the euphoria of the great thing God did for us, even three days after the dream I had. Now I have begun to see that some advantages can be in being disabled. Well, I still don't fully agree to it anyway. But that woman I see in the dream calling my name, I have never seen her in real life before. Who can she be? I wonder.

Rachael soon began to pester my mother to return to my father. She says that divorce is not a good Christian practice. It seems as if she wants me to 'hear' what they are saying so she talks to my mother in sign language:

"Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, how many times did I call you?"

"Twice Rachael," my mummy answers.

"Not twice, three times," she signals.

"Yes, three times," my mummy answers.

"You have to return to your husband right now, please."

"I can't!" she replies. "John is selfish! All he wants is other people's inconveniences to please himself. He keeps beating me and my daughter up. Before he kills us we have to stay away from him. Sister, tell us if you are tired of accomodating us and we will just leave here for another place."

"Ahn! Ahn! Why are you talking like this, Hannah? Did I complain that I am tired? Infact my sister, you have disappointed me for saying such a thing," she frowns.

"I am very sorry my sister, it is just that I am confused about the whole thing," my mother sobs. A tear rolled down my left cheek. The worry was too much conspicuous on her face.

I wish never to return to my father. I don't know why Rachael is raising that forgone issue now. Why can't she just let us be? At least it is not every woman that must stay in her husband's wife. She is an example, since she has been living alone since her husband's death.

I come into thw issue:

"Aunty Rachael, daddy doesn't want us anymore, don't you understand? He used his own hands to throw our loads out of the house. Even if we beg him, he won't agree for us to return," I say. I wait for her to say something. Her throat is dancing to the gulp of the water passing through it. She is drinking water in a glass cup. Aunty bangs the tumbler against the table and says, "Rose, it's not true, your daddy will accept you, at least you know that it is not possible to chase a bad child away for a tiger to tear apart. Just humbly go to him and kneel down before him, then he will take you back."

"Okay, okay, we will do that if you will go with us Rachael," my mother says.

"That's not a big deal, Hannah, I will come with you anytime you are ready. Can we go now?" she says.

I squeeze up my face. The thought of returning to my father is like returning to earth after making it to heaven. My world has changed so much within the few days I am with my aunt. She is the kindest person in the world.

"Okay, we shall go tomorrow," my mother promised.

"Accepted by me," Rachael says.

"Not accepted by me," I barge in stubbornly. Rachael smiles and says, "Majority carries the vote. We are going right there tomorrow." She comes around me and kisses my forehead. Then she lowers her right ear to my chest to feel the thumps of my heart.

"Never worry Rose, all is well. Your father will treat you well henceforth," she says, then she folds me up in her hands.

My mother's left hand clutched into a fist which she had rested her chin upon. Her face looked more depressed than mine. When I look into her face she seems ageing. I rush to her.

"Mother, don't think too much, you are ageing rapidly," I say.

"Ageing?" she manages to ask in smiles. "I am not ageing my daughter."

"Well...if you say so...anyway, I am here to tell you that all is well, a message from Aunty Rachael."

"Okay o, jolly little daughter, I have heard you," says mother. A knock rocked the door.

"Yes, come in, who is there?" my aunty must have shouted, going by the movement of her mouth. The door got opened gently and someone ambled in.

Toyosi!!! It is my stepmother stepping in as if to murder us. My heart jumped off my body!

Titi just waka enter my shop as if say she nor know wetin dey at stake.

"Who's here?" she tok. Me don kuku put my face ontop one of those big tables wey I put my rice and beans dey do like say I dey sleep. If she serious she suppose tap me for back make I wake up nah. Me go like make she tap me o. At least I go fit feel whether her palms na the ajebo type abi na ajepako own.

Na so I remain dey wait make she wake me up o. She begin bang the table wey I put my head o. I no shake at all.

"Which kind of sleep is this?" na so I hear am tok o. "O ga o," she add join.

Me don dey imagine how my wedding with am go be for future wey dey near so tey e fit be tomorrow sef. Chai! Me go spend everything wey I get take cater for ram o. Now as she come here, e don beta for me be dat. God don butter my toast bread.

Something tell me say make I even raise my head now sef, else she go just waka comot when I no answer ram. True true Titi don waka go far o. Chai!

"Hey! Hey! Customer!" I begin shout. She hear my name kon begin dey waka come.

"I thought you were sleeping before, that's why..." she stop suddenly. She don recognise my face. "Are you not the guy I saw in bank?" she tok like say person don release fart put for air.

"Yes nah!" I reply am. "You kon do say you don't know me abi?"

"Sincerely I didn't know it's you," she tok. "You know I've got a lot of you I buy my stuff from."

"Okay nah, wetin you wan buy?"

"Em...actually, I...I, em..." she begin dey stammer. My eyeballs begin dey bounce up, down, up, down for inside hin socket like basketball. Wetin she wan tok nah?"

She begin dey look here and there like person wey den pursue come.

"Em...actually I just need your favour, that's all."

"Favour? Ask nah! Which kind favour I nor go fit do fine girl like you nah?" I wan near am but she step back.

"I paid a customer in excess yesterday in the bank and I have to replace the loss with my personal money," she tok. "I am broke now, huh, you know I paid #30,000 to balance the transactions."

My body begin shake. Na tight corner this girl wan put me so o. Money wey I don dey gather make I take flex christmas and new year dey with me o, but this girl wan kon collect am?

I be ibo boy nah, I nor fit play with money. Ibo no dey do mistake wen money matter carry waka come. Wait o! Hope say this Titi no kon tempt me for here o.

"So, what you think say I can do?" I ask am.

"Em...if I can just get like fifteen thousand or twenty thousand from you, I'd be okay. I'm not saying you should give me free of charge but if you can just borrow me till January, I'll give you back. I'm broke for christ sake."

Hmm!" I breathe one kind breath wey strong like say I wan breathe my life comot.

"Can you help or I should go another place?"

I no wan lose Titi. As something don kon tie us together now, e fit be say na my prayers dey answer small small o. Okay nah, I know wetin I go do.

"See baby, I no really get much on me. But wetin I get I fit dash you, you hear. I dey come."

Na so I enter inside shop well well dey find my purse. I dey use style peep dey see how Titi just dey eager there dey scrub her palms together. E be like say she dey thank her stars for there ni.

Okay nah. I come out give am small change. Na 3k my mind tok say make I give am. Shr collect am, look am kon count am say, "3,000 naira?"

"Yes," I smile. "I dash you ni o."

"I know," she tok. I shock.

She never even thank me at all at all. She just put the thing inside her purse turn as if she wan dey go. She kon turn back last last say, "Chibuzor abi wetin be your name sef? Three thousand no fit buy love o. Anyway sha, thank you well well," she wink kon smile on top.

Yeeh! As she turn, I put my two hands on top my head. So na form Titi don dey form since as if say she nor sabi speak pidgin. Na wa o!

But that smile wey she drop na one kind charm o. Abi she put juju rub her face ni? My love for ram don even begin strong pass before sef.

Oya na, she don add me put for her scale of preference be dat nah. Na make I kon continue wetin I don start be that since she don use her own mouth start am.