₦airaland Forum

Wow,I’m so grateful to you all! All your comments are both helpful and uplifting. THANK YOU !

Someone said maybe Karma came to bite me in the ass in the person of this evil man. Maybe, I’m no saint but one thing I’m sure of, I’ve never wronged, betrayed or treated poorly a romantic partner or a suitor. For e.g. I’ve never taken money or gifts from men I knew I was not interested in. Heck I’ve even never asked for money or gifts from my boyfriends

I’m not perfect and wasn’t good enough for them, I get it. Sometimes you can be with someone nice and cool but still miss something. All you have to do is a clean break. You don’t ruin that person’s life on your way out.

Sadly this is a true story
I posted my looooong story on this board
“Why do men keep leaving me ?”
This is about my ex’s relationship with his soon to be wife

My ex his getting married in a few weeks and I’m so mad about it!
I know this is kind of mean and twisted but I take comfort in the idea that the marriage is doomed for failure.

Now I need your nonpartisan opinions.

So my ex met this woman in high school back home. They dated for years before he moved to the UK for his masters and doctorate.
They stayed in a long distance relationship for years but he dated other women in the UK. Some of those relationships were long term.

His first years here, he didn’t go home for 5 years so they didn’t see each other. I don’t know when exactly they broke up but I know they did at some point. He and I started dating somewhere in that time frame.

He reconnected with her but kept seeing me. He left me when I got pregnant and moved on to get her pregnant six months after that. We both had no Idea.

For 2 years, I didn’t hear a pip from him. My guess is, he was in a fully committed relationship with her. But we reconnected in odd circumstances and for almost 2 years, he begged me to take him back. I eventually did.

I just found out about the other woman’s existence. They’re about to get married.

Seriously, do you think this is going to work out ?

Hi all

I’m sorry this is going to be long but I’m in so much pain right now and I really need help to make sense of all of this.

I had 3 relationships in my life. The first one was in my early 20s I was madly in love but I moved to the UK for Uni so the long distance thing didn’t work out. He met someone and eventually broke up.

Then I met this guy in my late 20s in my congregation. He was so religious and caring. After 6 months he proposed and we started planning our wedding. That’s when I found out he was an active registered member of multiple gay dating sites. I confronted him about it, he denied everything but the trust was gone. We broke up and he moved on to marry another girl.

Finally I started dating my friend of 3 years or so. We were great as friends, but the romantic relationship was not as smooth as I thought it would be. We fought a lot, at least in the first year.
Eventually, things got better and we started talking marriage and babies.
By that time, I was in my mid-30s with a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure.
We decided to speed things up. We stopped the only contraception we ever had (condoms)
He was 100% on board with getting pregnant but was dragging his feet about marriage.

He wanted to do things backward; I was not OK with that so we had a big fight. I gave him an ultimatum so he broke up without actually saying it. He just stopped coming to my place, started acting distant. I tried many times to have a heart to heart conversation, I asked mutual friends to talk to him. He kept saying everything was fine but kept acting like an ass.
I finally had enough and stopped calling him and decided to move on with my life. I was in the process of getting my last eggs frozen when he came around (at least that’s what I thought). We had unprotected sex again and I got pregnant.

When I told him, he freaked out, pressured me to get an abortion and said I could never ask him for anything if I kept the baby

An abortion was not even a possibility in my book. I kept the baby, he bailed. I didn’t hear from him for 2 years. The first time I saw him since my pregnancy was in family court. We talked, he begged for forgiveness and said he wanted to be a good father to our son but also for me to take him back.
At first I said no but after 2 years of acting like he really had changed, I relapsed…only to find out few days ago that he’s about to get married back home to his longtime girlfriend with whom he has a child, only 6 months younger than mine.

Now I have 2 questions, the first one, I really need a male perspective:

1- Why would a man do what he did to me? Why would you come back and actively try to get back with a woman you obviously never loved when you are in a committed relationship and about to get hitched? But most of all, why would you go back to someone you caused so many pain and humiliation in the past and do the same shit to her all over again?

2- How do I get over this and move on with my life? Because this part of my life is now over, forever ruined. I’m almost 40 and a single mum. I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me. I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets.