| Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by sandrayeo: 11:38am On Apr 03, 2019 |
Hi all
I’m sorry this is going to be long but I’m in so much pain right now and I really need help to make sense of all of this.
I had 3 relationships in my life. The first one was in my early 20s I was madly in love but I moved to the UK for Uni so the long distance thing didn’t work out. He met someone and eventually broke up.
Then I met this guy in my late 20s in my congregation. He was so religious and caring. After 6 months he proposed and we started planning our wedding. That’s when I found out he was an active registered member of multiple gay dating sites. I confronted him about it, he denied everything but the trust was gone. We broke up and he moved on to marry another girl.
Finally I started dating my friend of 3 years or so. We were great as friends, but the romantic relationship was not as smooth as I thought it would be. We fought a lot, at least in the first year.
Eventually, things got better and we started talking marriage and babies.
By that time, I was in my mid-30s with a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure.
We decided to speed things up. We stopped the only contraception we ever had (condoms)
He was 100% on board with getting pregnant but was dragging his feet about marriage.
He wanted to do things backward; I was not OK with that so we had a big fight. I gave him an ultimatum so he broke up without actually saying it. He just stopped coming to my place, started acting distant. I tried many times to have a heart to heart conversation, I asked mutual friends to talk to him. He kept saying everything was fine but kept acting like an ass.
I finally had enough and stopped calling him and decided to move on with my life. I was in the process of getting my last eggs frozen when he came around (at least that’s what I thought). We had unprotected sex again and I got pregnant.
When I told him, he freaked out, pressured me to get an abortion and said I could never ask him for anything if I kept the baby
An abortion was not even a possibility in my book. I kept the baby, he bailed. I didn’t hear from him for 2 years. The first time I saw him since my pregnancy was in family court. We talked, he begged for forgiveness and said he wanted to be a good father to our son but also for me to take him back.
At first I said no but after 2 years of acting like he really had changed, I relapsed…only to find out few days ago that he’s about to get married back home to his longtime girlfriend with whom he has a child, only 6 months younger than mine.
Now I have 2 questions, the first one, I really need a male perspective:
1- Why would a man do what he did to me? Why would you come back and actively try to get back with a woman you obviously never loved when you are in a committed relationship and about to get hitched? But most of all, why would you go back to someone you caused so many pain and humiliation in the past and do the same shit to her all over again?
2- How do I get over this and move on with my life? Because this part of my life is now over, forever ruined. I’m almost 40 and a single mum. I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me. I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets. 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Offpoint: 11:57am On Apr 03, 2019 |
I'll marry you, just take care of me... that's all I need 12 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by mikejj(m): 11:58am On Apr 03, 2019 |
Hey dearie sorry about what happen to you and what you are going through right now.. I understand your pain..we all have past experiences,very sad past,the moment we bring our past into our future believe me the pain will be hotter than the way it was at first.. You did not loose three men ..you only loosed what was not meant for you..you need to let go of ur past and every ugly experiences you must have through..if u keep on dwelling in the past you will never move on,you never see the bright side of life,you will never see the queen in you..and where is it written that when you are 40 you can't get married. No that's not true ..wake up girl live your life,you've got a child,,take care of him, grow yourself.. And start life all over again..engage yourself with people.. And be a better you.. 23 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by kennybelle: 12:12pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
1. Topic should be 'Leaving'
2. I think u were a victim because u seemed desperate to have a man because you became too conscious of your age.
3. You need to stop thinking about your age and focus on how you'd take good care of your child.
4. Be prayerful, be sociable and most importantly, show your love and attention as much as you can to your kid. Then see how happy you'd be. Seeing your child grow and making him happy alone sef, will make you glow and happy.
You might just not need a man in your life afterall.
I pray you find comfort 19 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Nobody: 12:18pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
1. Why would a man do what he did to me? There's no reason whatsoever. Men don't generally do stuffs like this. While we may be promiscuous because it's in nature, we don't delight in causing pain and humiliation to women. You need to understand that It's not every human with a pènis between his legs that's a man. Some are simply heartless, manipulative and vile creatures of which your ex falls into this category. I can understand why you believe men tend to leave you but consider yourself simply unlucky and not that there's a fault that lies in you because you sitting down trying to make sense of all this will simply drive you crazy. 2. How do I get over this and move on with my life? Try being selfish. Don't let any man into your life yet for now and simply focus on improving yourself and your child. You don't need to get married to live a happy life. 10 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Nobody: 12:22pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Make I book space first |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by achioke(m): 12:48pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
is unfortunate the last guy only came to destroy I want you to focus on the future and forget an ugly event of the past that can cause depression in ur life live a happy life let the joy of training ur child give you comfort also remember that there are many responsible men out there looking for ur kind |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by victorian(f): 1:08pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
sandrayeo:
Hi all
I’m sorry this is going to be long but I’m in so much pain right now and I really need help to make sense of all of this.
I had 3 relationships in my life. The first one was in my early 20s I was madly in love but I moved to the UK for Uni so the long distance thing didn’t work out. He met someone and eventually broke up.
Then I met this guy in my late 20s in my congregation. He was so religious and caring. After 6 months he proposed and we started planning our wedding. That’s when I found out he was an active registered member of multiple gay dating sites. I confronted him about it, he denied everything but the trust was gone. We broke up and he moved on to marry another girl.
Finally I started dating my friend of 3 years or so. We were great as friends, but the romantic relationship was not as smooth as I thought it would be. We fought a lot, at least in the first year.
Eventually, things got better and we started talking marriage and babies.
By that time, I was in my mid-30s with a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure.
We decided to speed things up. We stopped the only contraception we ever had (condoms)
He was 100% on board with getting pregnant but was dragging his feet about marriage.
He wanted to do things backward; I was not OK with that so we had a big fight. I gave him an ultimatum so he broke up without actually saying it. He just stopped coming to my place, started acting distant. I tried many times to have a heart to heart conversation, I asked mutual friends to talk to him. He kept saying everything was fine but kept acting like an ass.
I finally had enough and stopped calling him and decided to move on with my life. I was in the process of getting my last eggs frozen when he came around (at least that’s what I thought). We had unprotected sex again and I got pregnant.
When I told him, he freaked out, pressured me to get an abortion and said I could never ask him for anything if I kept the baby
An abortion was not even a possibility in my book. I kept the baby, he bailed. I didn’t hear from him for 2 years. The first time I saw him since my pregnancy was in family court. We talked, he begged for forgiveness and said he wanted to be a good father to our son but also for me to take him back.
At first I said no but after 2 years of acting like he really had changed, I relapsed…only to find out few days ago that he’s about to get married back home to his longtime girlfriend with whom he has a child, only 6 months younger than mine.
Now I have 2 questions, the first one, I really need a male perspective:
1- Why would a man do what he did to me? Why would you come back and actively try to get back with a woman you obviously never loved when you are in a committed relationship and about to get hitched? But most of all, why would you go back to someone you caused so many pain and humiliation in the past and do the same shit to her all over again?
2- How do I get over this and move on with my life? Because this part of my life is now over, forever ruined. I’m almost 40 and a single mum. I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me. I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets.
My dear , always remember most men out there just want to know how your pussy taste, it applies to alot of women out there, including me! The men will come will sweet tales, even swear with Koran or Bible or even with their mothers name but all they are after is how does the pussy feel and taste. You need to be vigilant,prayerful and careful with your heart and mind. In fact be protective over yourself. Some will even call God name, that don't u know its divine intervention that we are meeting up like this? All na pure lie, that's why we are having so many single ladies with children, but no father. You are not the only single mum out there. Well I'm not one sha, but all the same have seen single moms get married to responsible single men or single dads. From henceforth, focus on God , your child, your job and family. Men will still come again, to see if they can deceive you and have sex but this time, let them know u are a born again lady and u are not ready for never ending sex that leads no where. Let them know u want something stable and serious, and if they are here to just quickly have sex by using sweet words or by saying but u are my gf nah, we should be having sex! It's not like you a virgin, really?  . Some will even come with marriage, I will marry you. All na lie! U need to build your spirit to be able to discern those lying sweet tongues and the only u can do such is been close to God. U let the guy know, look guy! I'm not ready for never ending sex, let's be friends and see how it goes. Both of you should have what to gist about. Apart from sex and talks about what turns either of you on. Infact don't entertain such talks or chats. If the guy has nothing to gist about? Abeg free am! Later your own will come. But from henceforth, be happy focus one what makes u smile and gives u joy. Then leave the rest to God. I'm in my 30s as well, but I don't allow my past make me unhappy. Im more into church things and my job. Early this year, while going thru cross over night prayers, spirit of God revealed to me, Men will. Come, I mean men! But most are coming to taste and run! So Vicky! Be alert! Don't be foolish, use your head. Screen them and later u will see they are just around to hurt me once again emotionally,infact some are coming to give me one last blow to finish me off emotionally.. I said to myself na WA o, upon everything have gone thru in my past. I said OK, no problem let them come. We will see who get sense pass! Now, I'm so strict with my criterias and I don't entertain sex chats! Any guy coming that can't chat or talk without adding sex, I quickly cut off! No time to waste on those ones. Even the ones that comes with marriage, when I ask one or two deep questions, they run away. Lol  Babe! U need to be tough but in a calm way. Don't tolerate nonsense anymore. A real man who wants you for keeps will hang around u, watch u and eventually wife you. But u need to be patient and hold onto God. 24 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by coolzeal(m): 1:56pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
I still don't get it.. why is there so much pressure from the society on people to get married? For instance, the expectations on females are significantly overwhelming and they become more desperate in their 30's leading to unguided choices. Lets forget this fairytale a bit and enjoy what life has got to offer. Live your life and don't make it too complicated. Marriage is overrated. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by PaulAris: 2:34pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Hi Sandrayeo,
To your first question: You ever asked him why? Like plainly why!
Why he made you feel used?
Cause in as much as we all drop our different opinion on why he did that, you still gotta find out the truth from him.
Men don't just do things, there's gotta be a reason why he did such stupid thing to you
I mean you guys were friends right before dating. So he must have known bout' your past and the things you went through
So for him that has known you a long time do that?
He must have reasons! Stupid maybe
...
2nd Question: Don't bother bout impressing any man or looking for a man.
Make yourself happy
You got a child even though it didn't go as you planned. But you no longer bothered bout that "ovarian failure crap"
This is a time for you to move, don't brood on nobody or mistakes you've made
What's done is done!
So right now, I want you to leave for yourself and your child
I'd even advice for you not go on dates for a while cause you'd terribly hurt yourself. You'd want to fill that emotional void wi |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by falcon01: 3:00pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
"sandrayeo" am sorry I feel sad for you! Have you tried looking close to you maybe all these there has been someone so close who you have been blocking, but he is still there.. |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by logan2(m): 3:14pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
sandrayeo:
Hi all
I’m sorry this is going to be long but I’m in so much pain right now and I really need help to make sense of all of this.
I had 3 relationships in my life. The first one was in my early 20s I was madly in love but I moved to the UK for Uni so the long distance thing didn’t work out. He met someone and eventually broke up.
Then I met this guy in my late 20s in my congregation. He was so religious and caring. After 6 months he proposed and we started planning our wedding. That’s when I found out he was an active registered member of multiple gay dating sites. I confronted him about it, he denied everything but the trust was gone. We broke up and he moved on to marry another girl.
Finally I started dating my friend of 3 years or so. We were great as friends, but the romantic relationship was not as smooth as I thought it would be. We fought a lot, at least in the first year.
Eventually, things got better and we started talking marriage and babies.
By that time, I was in my mid-30s with a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure.
We decided to speed things up. We stopped the only contraception we ever had (condoms)
He was 100% on board with getting pregnant but was dragging his feet about marriage.
He wanted to do things backward; I was not OK with that so we had a big fight. I gave him an ultimatum so he broke up without actually saying it. He just stopped coming to my place, started acting distant. I tried many times to have a heart to heart conversation, I asked mutual friends to talk to him. He kept saying everything was fine but kept acting like an ass.
I finally had enough and stopped calling him and decided to move on with my life. I was in the process of getting my last eggs frozen when he came around (at least that’s what I thought). We had unprotected sex again and I got pregnant.
When I told him, he freaked out, pressured me to get an abortion and said I could never ask him for anything if I kept the baby
An abortion was not even a possibility in my book. I kept the baby, he bailed. I didn’t hear from him for 2 years. The first time I saw him since my pregnancy was in family court. We talked, he begged for forgiveness and said he wanted to be a good father to our son but also for me to take him back.
At first I said no but after 2 years of acting like he really had changed, I relapsed…only to find out few days ago that he’s about to get married back home to his longtime girlfriend with whom he has a child, only 6 months younger than mine.
Now I have 2 questions, the first one, I really need a male perspective:
1- Why would a man do what he did to me? Why would you come back and actively try to get back with a woman you obviously never loved when you are in a committed relationship and about to get hitched? But most of all, why would you go back to someone you caused so many pain and humiliation in the past and do the same shit to her all over again? - because you allowed it,because he knew you would still let him get his way with you,because you you you you you
2- How do I get over this and move on with my life? Because this part of my life is now over, forever ruined. I’m almost 40 and a single mum. I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me. I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets. never say never, count your blessings every day, take good care of your son,smile always, dont be desperate,calm down,keep calm .... ooops my dictionary is finished,i hope this is ok
|
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by logan2(m): 3:16pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
victorian:
My dear , always remember most men out there just want to know how your pussy taste, it applies to alot of women out there, including me!
The men will come will sweet tales, even swear with Koran or Bible or even with their mothers name but all they are after is how does the pussy feel and taste.
You need to be vigilant,prayerful and careful with your heart and mind. In fact be protective over yourself.
Some will even call God name, that don't u know its divine intervention that we are meeting up like this? All na pure lie, that's why we are having so many single ladies with children, but no father.
You are not the only single mum out there. Well I'm not one sha, but all the same have seen single moms get married to responsible single men or single dads.
From henceforth, focus on God , your child, your job and family. Men will still come again, to see if they can deceive you and have sex but this time, let them know u are a born again lady and u are not ready for never ending sex that leads no where. Let them know u want something stable and serious, and if they are here to just quickly have sex by using sweet words or by saying but u are my gf nah, we should be having sex! It's not like you a virgin, really?
. Some will even come with marriage, I will marry you. All na lie! U need to build your spirit to be able to discern those lying sweet tongues and the only u can do such is been close to God.
U let the guy know, look guy! I'm not ready for never ending sex, let's be friends and see how it goes. Both of you should have what to gist about. Apart from sex and talks about what turns either of you on. Infact don't entertain such talks or chats.
If the guy has nothing to gist about? Abeg free am!
Later your own will come.
But from henceforth, be happy focus one what makes u smile and gives u joy. Then leave the rest to God.
I'm in my 30s as well, but I don't allow my past make me unhappy. Im more into church things and my job. Early this year, while going thru cross over night prayers, spirit of God revealed to me, Men will. Come, I mean men! But most are coming to taste and run! So Vicky! Be alert! Don't be foolish, use your head. Screen them and later u will see they are just around to hurt me once again emotionally,infact some are coming to give me one last blow to finish me off emotionally.. I said to myself na WA o, upon everything have gone thru in my past. I said OK, no problem let them come. We will see who get sense pass!
Now, I'm so strict with my criterias and I don't entertain sex chats! Any guy coming that can't chat or talk without adding sex, I quickly cut off! No time to waste on those ones. Even the ones that comes with marriage, when I ask one or two deep questions, they run away. Lol
Babe! U need to be tough but in a calm way. Don't tolerate nonsense anymore. A real man who wants you for keeps will hang around u, watch u and eventually wife you. But u need to be patient and hold onto God. guy you too talk, you be talkahias shuor  2 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by logan2(m): 3:17pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
victorian:
My dear , always remember most men out there just want to know how your pussy taste, it applies to alot of women out there, including me!
The men will come will sweet tales, even swear with Koran or Bible or even with their mothers name but all they are after is how does the pussy feel and taste.
You need to be vigilant,prayerful and careful with your heart and mind. In fact be protective over yourself.
Some will even call God name, that don't u know its divine intervention that we are meeting up like this? All na pure lie, that's why we are having so many single ladies with children, but no father.
You are not the only single mum out there. Well I'm not one sha, but all the same have seen single moms get married to responsible single men or single dads.
From henceforth, focus on God , your child, your job and family. Men will still come again, to see if they can deceive you and have sex but this time, let them know u are a born again lady and u are not ready for never ending sex that leads no where. Let them know u want something stable and serious, and if they are here to just quickly have sex by using sweet words or by saying but u are my gf nah, we should be having sex! It's not like you a virgin, really?
. Some will even come with marriage, I will marry you. All na lie! U need to build your spirit to be able to discern those lying sweet tongues and the only u can do such is been close to God.
U let the guy know, look guy! I'm not ready for never ending sex, let's be friends and see how it goes. Both of you should have what to gist about. Apart from sex and talks about what turns either of you on. Infact don't entertain such talks or chats.
If the guy has nothing to gist about? Abeg free am!
Later your own will come.
But from henceforth, be happy focus one what makes u smile and gives u joy. Then leave the rest to God.
I'm in my 30s as well, but I don't allow my past make me unhappy. Im more into church things and my job. Early this year, while going thru cross over night prayers, spirit of God revealed to me, Men will. Come, I mean men! But most are coming to taste and run! So Vicky! Be alert! Don't be foolish, use your head. Screen them and later u will see they are just around to hurt me once again emotionally,infact some are coming to give me one last blow to finish me off emotionally.. I said to myself na WA o, upon everything have gone thru in my past. I said OK, no problem let them come. We will see who get sense pass!
Now, I'm so strict with my criterias and I don't entertain sex chats! Any guy coming that can't chat or talk without adding sex, I quickly cut off! No time to waste on those ones. Even the ones that comes with marriage, when I ask one or two deep questions, they run away. Lol
Babe! U need to be tough but in a calm way. Don't tolerate nonsense anymore. A real man who wants you for keeps will hang around u, watch u and eventually wife you. But u need to be patient and hold onto God. babe you too talk, you be talkahias shuor 1 Like |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by jeff1607(m): 3:36pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
victorian:
My dear , always remember most men out there just want to know how your pussy taste, it applies to alot of women out there, including me!
The men will come will sweet tales, even swear with Koran or Bible or even with their mothers name but all they are after is how does the pussy feel and taste.
You need to be vigilant,prayerful and careful with your heart and mind. In fact be protective over yourself.
Some will even call God name, that don't u know its divine intervention that we are meeting up like this? All na pure lie, that's why we are having so many single ladies with children, but no father.
You are not the only single mum out there. Well I'm not one sha, but all the same have seen single moms get married to responsible single men or single dads.
From henceforth, focus on God , your child, your job and family. Men will still come again, to see if they can deceive you and have sex but this time, let them know u are a born again lady and u are not ready for never ending sex that leads no where. Let them know u want something stable and serious, and if they are here to just quickly have sex by using sweet words or by saying but u are my gf nah, we should be having sex! It's not like you a virgin, really?
. Some will even come with marriage, I will marry you. All na lie! U need to build your spirit to be able to discern those lying sweet tongues and the only u can do such is been close to God.
U let the guy know, look guy! I'm not ready for never ending sex, let's be friends and see how it goes. Both of you should have what to gist about. Apart from sex and talks about what turns either of you on. Infact don't entertain such talks or chats.
If the guy has nothing to gist about? Abeg free am!
Later your own will come.
But from henceforth, be happy focus one what makes u smile and gives u joy. Then leave the rest to God.
I'm in my 30s as well, but I don't allow my past make me unhappy. Im more into church things and my job. Early this year, while going thru cross over night prayers, spirit of God revealed to me, Men will. Come, I mean men! But most are coming to taste and run! So Vicky! Be alert! Don't be foolish, use your head. Screen them and later u will see they are just around to hurt me once again emotionally,infact some are coming to give me one last blow to finish me off emotionally.. I said to myself na WA o, upon everything have gone thru in my past. I said OK, no problem let them come. We will see who get sense pass!
Now, I'm so strict with my criterias and I don't entertain sex chats! Any guy coming that can't chat or talk without adding sex, I quickly cut off! No time to waste on those ones. Even the ones that comes with marriage, when I ask one or two deep questions, they run away. Lol
Babe! U need to be tough but in a calm way. Don't tolerate nonsense anymore. A real man who wants you for keeps will hang around u, watch u and eventually wife you. But u need to be patient and hold onto God. can hold a healthy conversation without making the guy doing all the talking or you making a conversation interesting ? 1 Like |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Rosay15(f): 4:28pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Op I can feel your pain but it doesn't worth it, all you need to do now is to stay strong for your child and channel your energy to something that gonna make you happy cuz being married doesn't guaranty your happiness.. I know is very hard to forget but you just need to do it and move on with your life cuz this life is too short. Peace.. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by ThePreachersSon: 4:30pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Offpoint:
I'll marry you, just take care of me... that's all I need OFFPOINT |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by rokoto1986(m): 4:31pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
sandra, sometimes we tend to blame guys wen they treat girls that way, 4geting how many guys u ve made go tru so much pain as well. u ve come here nw to tell us ur own path of the story and we might strt condeming d guy wit@ proper knowing hw u ve been treating the guy, we get wat we deserve sometimes. some guys will be patient just to avenge u. guys re nt demons except some exceptional case. u mite ve toyed wit d feelings of ur supposed husband and nw u re here wailling because age is nt on ur side again. My advice 4 u is that u shld nt make it a must dat u must get married. Nt every woman will, channel ur energy to ur baby and luck might just come ur way. 6 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by missyojo(f): 4:40pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
victorian:
My dear , always remember most men out there just want to know how your pussy taste, it applies to alot of women out there, including me!
The men will come will sweet tales, even swear with Koran or Bible or even with their mothers name but all they are after is how does the pussy feel and taste.
You need to be vigilant,prayerful and careful with your heart and mind. In fact be protective over yourself.
Some will even call God name, that don't u know its divine intervention that we are meeting up like this? All na pure lie, that's why we are having so many single ladies with children, but no father.
You are not the only single mum out there. Well I'm not one sha, but all the same have seen single moms get married to responsible single men or single dads.
From henceforth, focus on God , your child, your job and family. Men will still come again, to see if they can deceive you and have sex but this time, let them know u are a born again lady and u are not ready for never ending sex that leads no where. Let them know u want something stable and serious, and if they are here to just quickly have sex by using sweet words or by saying but u are my gf nah, we should be having sex! It's not like you a virgin, really?
. Some will even come with marriage, I will marry you. All na lie! U need to build your spirit to be able to discern those lying sweet tongues and the only u can do such is been close to God.
U let the guy know, look guy! I'm not ready for never ending sex, let's be friends and see how it goes. Both of you should have what to gist about. Apart from sex and talks about what turns either of you on. Infact don't entertain such talks or chats.
If the guy has nothing to gist about? Abeg free am!
Later your own will come.
But from henceforth, be happy focus one what makes u smile and gives u joy. Then leave the rest to God.
I'm in my 30s as well, but I don't allow my past make me unhappy. Im more into church things and my job. Early this year, while going thru cross over night prayers, spirit of God revealed to me, Men will. Come, I mean men! But most are coming to taste and run! So Vicky! Be alert! Don't be foolish, use your head. Screen them and later u will see they are just around to hurt me once again emotionally,infact some are coming to give me one last blow to finish me off emotionally.. I said to myself na WA o, upon everything have gone thru in my past. I said OK, no problem let them come. We will see who get sense pass!
Now, I'm so strict with my criterias and I don't entertain sex chats! Any guy coming that can't chat or talk without adding sex, I quickly cut off! No time to waste on those ones. Even the ones that comes with marriage, when I ask one or two deep questions, they run away. Lol
Babe! U need to be tough but in a calm way. Don't tolerate nonsense anymore. A real man who wants you for keeps will hang around u, watch u and eventually wife you. But u need to be patient and hold onto God. Wish I can like your comment over and over again. Thumps up to you Sis, learnt from it. 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by 2buffagain(m): 4:41pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Something I have always found weird with women... I have no issues with having a bisexual woman. TONS of options for LOTS of Solomonish things. But why do women have issues with bisexual men? Gay shit disgusts me as a man, but from your perspectives as women, why does it disgust you? |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by biznus: 4:47pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
SORRY I CANNOT RESPOND TO Q1: THAT LEVEL OF MALE EGOISM I CANNOT YET GRASP. Because this part of my life is now over, forever ruined. SAYS WHO? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE MAKING SUCH A PRONOUNCEMENT TO YOURSELF, FOR YOURSELF AND BY YOURSELF. I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me. I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets. LEMME REPHRASE THAT FOR YOU: I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me BECAUSE I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets. THERE YOU HAVE IT. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FIND A WAY TO CONSCIENTIOUSLY TAKE AWAY THE ANGER AND BITTERNESS... REGARDING THE REGRETS, ALL YOU NEED KNOW IS THAT IT CHANGES AND DOES NOTHING BUT DAMPEN SOMETHING WITHIN YOU. SO WHAT IF YOU'RE ALMOST 40 AND A SINGLE MOM?! SO BLOODY WHAT! DAMN SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS AND CALCULATIONS. THERE ARE THOSE WHO DIDN'T GET TO LIVE UP TO "ALMOST 40". YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE... THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN MEETS THE EYE. Pardon my use of capitals... You sound like a Nigerian-Canadian lady I once knew. You'll be fine. Develop this kinda mindset first... Sure you're familiar with the song (poetic): "Tell me what you gon' do to me Confrontation ain't nothin' new to me You can bring a bullet, bring a sword Bring a morgue, but you can't bring the truth to me F**k you and all your expectations I don't even want your congratulations I recognize your false confidence and Calculated promises all in your conversation I hate people that feel entitled Look at me crazy 'cause I ain't invite you Oh, you important? You the moral to the story, you endorsing? Motherf**ker, I don't even like you Corrupted man's heart with a gift That's how you find out who you dealin' with A small percentage who I'm building with I want the credit if I'm losing or I'm winning On my momma that's the realest s*it..." All The Stars by Kendrick Lamar, SZA (Ignore the curse words) Modified** sandrayeo:
Wow,I’m so grateful to you all! All your comments are both helpful and uplifting. THANK YOU !
Someone said maybe Karma came to bite me in the ass in the person of this evil man. Maybe, I’m no saint but one thing I’m sure of, I’ve never wronged, betrayed or treated poorly a romantic partner or a suitor. For e.g. I’ve never taken money or gifts from men I knew I was not interested in. Heck I’ve even never asked for money or gifts from my boyfriends 
I’m not perfect and wasn’t good enough for them, I get it. Sometimes you can be with someone nice and cool but still miss something. All you have to do is a clean break. You don’t ruin that person’s life on your way out.
You can never be sure dear one. Like I said earlier, there's more to life than meets the eye. The most ignorant and pathetic question I have heard grieving people ask is, "Lord, why me?" Or simply "Why me?" People truly perish for lack of knowledge... Check out suicidal rates... Religions AS WE HAVE IT TODAY the modern day Church have failed to provide the answers. So much was expunged for instance from the Bible. The concept of re-incarnation being one of them for reasons best known to them. Hence there are gaps today. Are you a church goer or a Christian? If you are a Christian, then you must be a TRUTH SEEKER: "And ye shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free." If you want to be free within, then you must make conscientious effort to know the truth. In the bible it says as you sow you shall reap. Apart from the obvious reference to the law of karma, this statement also indicates re-incarnation. As you sow you shall reap becomes a meaningless statement if not seen in the light of reincarnation. It is clear that a person reaps right from his or her very birth.
We reap a certain family, a certain nation, a certain gender and a certain destiny at birth. When would we have sown that, if not in a previous life?
If one does not accept the concept of reincarnation, one is left with the unfortunate problem present in the modern Church- God being whimsical and capricious who throws people down to earth to suffer or enjoy different destinies. some are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, to a life in glory and opulence while others are born in Syria during an attack of F-16s. If you realise that you do not have to suffer innocently, then let this suffering become a blessing. 2 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Nobody: 4:56pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Hmmm. Booking space. |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by superboiz: 5:08pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Jirair:
Hmmm. Booking space.
Get rara here. This is no Asawo joint. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Bighead9: 5:09pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Check yourself very well, there is something you are not doing right. That must be a turn off to these men. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Biglittlelois(f): 5:09pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Focus your time and energy on work and your kid, do not be fixated on marriage, if it comes fine, if it doesn't fine too, you alone can make yourself happy not marriage, as for the mumu baby daddy, nemesis will catch up to him. |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Valleys(m): 5:29pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Everybody just consoling this woman. Ok, what if it is karma that sent that guy to pay you back. Cos you have not told us the real reason why the earlier relationships failed. You just said long distance relationship, make I hear. Could it be you messed others up during your early 20s on your way to UK just BC you thought you were still young. This is by no means a justification of betrayal.
Pick up your pieces and become the best you can, that's all.
People should learn from this. Do not ever welcome back those kind of persons. Only forgive them and let them move ahead.
For me, I don't believe in love and so there's no chance of heartbreak. 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Nobody: 5:36pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
sandrayeo:
Hi all
I’m sorry this is going to be long but I’m in so much pain right now and I really need help to make sense of all of this.
I had 3 relationships in my life. The first one was in my early 20s I was madly in love but I moved to the UK for Uni so the long distance thing didn’t work out. He met someone and eventually broke up.
Then I met this guy in my late 20s in my congregation. He was so religious and caring. After 6 months he proposed and we started planning our wedding. That’s when I found out he was an active registered member of multiple gay dating sites. I confronted him about it, he denied everything but the trust was gone. We broke up and he moved on to marry another girl.
Finally I started dating my friend of 3 years or so. We were great as friends, but the romantic relationship was not as smooth as I thought it would be. We fought a lot, at least in the first year.
Eventually, things got better and we started talking marriage and babies.
By that time, I was in my mid-30s with a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure.
We decided to speed things up. We stopped the only contraception we ever had (condoms)
He was 100% on board with getting pregnant but was dragging his feet about marriage.
He wanted to do things backward; I was not OK with that so we had a big fight. I gave him an ultimatum so he broke up without actually saying it. He just stopped coming to my place, started acting distant. I tried many times to have a heart to heart conversation, I asked mutual friends to talk to him. He kept saying everything was fine but kept acting like an ass.
I finally had enough and stopped calling him and decided to move on with my life. I was in the process of getting my last eggs frozen when he came around (at least that’s what I thought). We had unprotected sex again and I got pregnant.
When I told him, he freaked out, pressured me to get an abortion and said I could never ask him for anything if I kept the baby
An abortion was not even a possibility in my book. I kept the baby, he bailed. I didn’t hear from him for 2 years. The first time I saw him since my pregnancy was in family court. We talked, he begged for forgiveness and said he wanted to be a good father to our son but also for me to take him back.
At first I said no but after 2 years of acting like he really had changed, I relapsed…only to find out few days ago that he’s about to get married back home to his longtime girlfriend with whom he has a child, only 6 months younger than mine.
Now I have 2 questions, the first one, I really need a male perspective:
1- Why would a man do what he did to me? Why would you come back and actively try to get back with a woman you obviously never loved when you are in a committed relationship and about to get hitched? But most of all, why would you go back to someone you caused so many pain and humiliation in the past and do the same shit to her all over again?
2- How do I get over this and move on with my life? Because this part of my life is now over, forever ruined. I’m almost 40 and a single mum. I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me. I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets.
there is only one hope, take care of your son,because he's everything and the only thing that matters. In your next life you might find love,life is mostly unfair .for now guide and take care of your son with your life |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Homeboiy: 6:35pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
The movie Acrimony comes to my mind
The truth is that I don't pity any Single woman in this life
Anything that happens to them is not my business 4 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by sandrayeo: 6:36pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Wow,I’m so grateful to you all! All your comments are both helpful and uplifting. THANK YOU ! Someone said maybe Karma came to bite me in the ass in the person of this evil man. Maybe, I’m no saint but one thing I’m sure of, I’ve never wronged, betrayed or treated poorly a romantic partner or a suitor. For e.g. I’ve never taken money or gifts from men I knew I was not interested in. Heck I’ve even never asked for money or gifts from my boyfriends I’m not perfect and wasn’t good enough for them, I get it. Sometimes you can be with someone nice and cool but still miss something. All you have to do is a clean break. You don’t ruin that person’s life on your way out. 3 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by seniorgozman(m): 6:52pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
Sorry about your past, but you need to look into yourself and find your own problem. There is something in you that is making men treat you like that, it could be your pride, your attitude etc |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Nobody: 6:52pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
2 Likes |
| Re: Why Do Men Keep Leaving Me For Someone Else ? by Seandisputed(m): 6:53pm On Apr 03, 2019 |
biznus:
SORRY I CANNOT RESPOND TO Q1: THAT LEVEL OF MALE EGOISM I CANNOT YET GRASP.
Because this part of my life is now over, forever ruined.
SAYS WHO? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE MAKING SUCH A PRONOUNCEMENT TO YOURSELF, FOR YOURSELF AND BY YOURSELF.
I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me. I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets.
LEMME REPHRASE THAT FOR YOU:
I will never be able to find a man willing to marry me BECAUSE I'm left with anger, bitterness and regrets.
THERE YOU HAVE IT. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS FIND A WAY TO CONSCIENTIOUSLY TAKE AWAY THE ANGER AND BITTERNESS... REGARDING THE REGRETS, ALL YOU NEED KNOW IS THAT IT CHANGES AND DOES NOTHING BUT DAMPEN SOMETHING WITHIN YOU.
SO WHAT IF YOU'RE ALMOST 40 AND A SINGLE MOM?! SO BLOODY WHAT! DAMN SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS AND CALCULATIONS. THERE ARE THOSE WHO DIDN'T GET TO LIVE UP TO "ALMOST 40".
YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE... THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN MEETS THE EYE.
Pardon my use of capitals... You sound like a Nigerian-Canadian lady I once knew. You'll be fine.
Develop this kinda mindset first... Sure you're familiar with the song (poetic):
"Tell me what you gon' do to me
Confrontation ain't nothin' new to me
You can bring a bullet, bring a sword
Bring a morgue, but you can't bring the truth to me
F**k you and all your expectations
I don't even want your congratulations
I recognize your false confidence and
Calculated promises all in your conversation
I hate people that feel entitled
Look at me crazy 'cause I ain't invite you
Oh, you important?
You the moral to the story, you endorsing?
Motherf**ker, I don't even like you
Corrupted man's heart with a gift
That's how you find out who you dealin' with
A small percentage who I'm building with
I want the credit if I'm losing or I'm winning
On my momma that's the realest s*it..."
All The Stars by
Kendrick Lamar, SZA
(Ignore the curse words)
Fvck it man You just made me put this song on replay 1 Like |
