₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Igwe. link=topic=466160.msg6257655#msg6257655 date=1277149371]I'm sorry to ask this but, are you a witch? I think you two should put pride and arrogance aside for the interest of this boy .
I hate to see husband and wife competing among themselves.
[/quote]Do you mean if Im a real witch or if Im just mean/evil/crazy? ( I have actually never understood this expression that my husband uses, but I guess it is a quite commom expression over there?!

I try to respect my husband as much as I can, but it is getting more and more difficult to live in the same house as him. He wants to control me and everything I do, he has said he will beat me if I "misbehave" and so on. He says I can speak my mind and tell my opinion, but when I do he becomes very mad. I just dont like being around him anymore. He , on the other hand, probably thinks I dont respect him enough. I know it is quite common among nigerians (at least those living here) to demand respect from their wives, but I have learnt since childhood that the man and the woman should respect each other equally.

I dont know if this gave you an answer, ?

gregejige:
The odds are against you in Nigeria . . simply because he could hide the boy and you or the police would never know where he is.

And same as I'm sure your family will do, his family will do everything to prevent you from taking the boy away.


You mentioned your quarrels probably hurts the child in a psychological way - Imagine if you were miles apart.

I would NEVER take the boy away from his father! I just think it would be better for everyone if we separated. But does it mean you have to be enemies because you have separated? Not in my opinion! I would like us to have shared custody and the boy would be as much with my husband as he is with me.
My husband, on the other hand, cant handle this in a mature way. He is just screaming and swearing at me. Telling me Im a witch and that he will make sure the boy stays with him,
Well, lately he has calmed down a little and says he agrees on that the best for the boy is to have close contact to both of us. I just dont know if he is lying and trying to manipulate me in some way,

(I don't understand what you are trying to say in your last sentence. )

I will not tell because I dont want anyone recognizing me. (Even tough I know chances are quite small anyone would, but anyway, )
I am from one of the Nordic countries. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nordic_countries

^ I have never said I am German, by the way,
It was someone else who said that.

28Schweet:
I just have one question for you, do you not trust your husband? Do you think that he'll not have your son's interests at heart should you people split up. I don't think there's a parent that will keep their child away from another parent, unless if that parent is incompetent and unfit,

We have already decided to split up. We have given our relationship so many "last chances", but it seems like it is not working out! We are even going to couples counselling now, but don't know if it helps. The problem is that my man is treathning me by saying that he will make sure that our son is going to be with only him in the future.

smartmom:
My dear, dont let your hubby take your kid away from you if/when you divorce(God forbid) because if he is well connected(in Naija it means if he is loaded with money), he can disappear with your kid into 'thin' air and the legal system will not even remember there is any such person as your hubby in their register of citizens(if we possess any such record) talk less of finding your child for you.

He doesnt have much money (but he is not poor either), but he has contacts and much people that are willing to do obey everything he says. Therefore I am scared of what would happen if we get divorced and he wants to take our son to Nigeria.


[quote author=mama_mia link=topic=466160.msg6254749#msg6254749 date=1277122493]Is the child old enough to speak out for himself if he is abused?[/quote]He is 1 year old. We both care very much for him and would never hurt him! My husband cares so much for the boy that he can do or say whatever mean things to me when he is worried for the child.
But our quarrels probably hurts the child in a psychological way. Not nice to hear ones parents screem at each other.

Hi everybody!

I come from a country in Europe, I am married to a Nigerian man. We have a son (1 year old).
I wonder what happens with our child if I and my husband get divorced. Should I be afraid to let him take our son to Nigeria in the future? I mean, are there laws in Nigeria saying that the child automatically belongs to the father? (As it is in some countries).
In the country where we live now the law says we will have shared custody if we both want it.

How is it in Nigeria?

And what if my husband hides our son somewhere in Nigeria, will the Nigerian state be willing to help finding my son? Or are they oing to protect the father?

(This is a worst-case-scenario that I hope never will happen, but I have to ask anyway, )