₦airaland Forum

Bookhub:
Money from women taste better because they hardly give..

I endorse this with 1000 bottles of Origin.

koladata:
1. Only your mother and God will love you unconditionally. If you f up, you go collect.

2. Familiarity breeds content, always try to avoid see finish.

3. Pheromones is the hormone that makes men get tired of sleeping with the same person frequently, they will always love you but No matter how sexy you are, your husband will cheat with someone even uglier than you.

4. Men, once your marriage has clock 10 years , there's 95 percent chances that your wife will sleep with another man no matter how decent she is, the remain 5percent na God hand he dey.

5. Men, don't expect true love from your wife, that's not her job in the marriage, it's yours. Even the bible says, men love your wife, wife respect your husband. She didn't marry you for love , she married you because she feels you are the right fit for her children.

6. Your wife or girlfriend only needs to know your account balance if its big, but if one capital project like buying a brand new car or building a new house can reduce your account balance to zero then you do not have any business telling her how much you have. The day she knows you are running on zero.... You Don Cast, you don cast you don cast, You Don Cast.

I disagree with no.5. I will not give true love if I don’t receive and true love to me is from my perspective not the wife.

Calgary woman was planning to leave husband when he killed her and her father, brother says

Around 9:30 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 29, police were called to a home in the 0 to 100 block of Kincora Grove N.W. in Calgary.

Officers found a man in his 70s -- Ania's father, Stanislaw Wardzala -- dead.

As police investigated, a second victim, Ania, was found dead in a home at 11:15 p.m. in the 300 block of Tuscany Ridge Heights N.W.

Police say the killer was Benedict Kaminski, Ania’s husband and Stanislaw's son-in-law.

An emergency alert was issued Monday afternoon for Benedict, whose body was discovered later Monday afternoon.

The brother of Ania Kaminski, who was murdered by her husband on Dec. 29, described her as one of the most amazing human beings in the world.

“She was such a caring mother for her children,” Peter Wardzala said, in a New Year’s Day interview with CTV News. “She was an unbelievable daughter to my mom and my dad. She was an amazing sister to me.

“If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be the man I am today,” he said. “She helped me a lot in my life. Without her I was lost.”

'Dangerous person alert' ended as police locate dead suspect in Calgary double murder
Female victim in Calgary double homicide identified as elementary school teacher
New University of Calgary study explores preventing domestic violence.

Around 9:30 p.m. on Sunday, Dec. 29, police were called to a home in the 0 to 100 block of Kincora Grove N.W. in Calgary.

Officers found a man in his 70s -- Peter and Ania's father Stanislaw Wardzala -- dead.

As police investigated, a second victim, Ania, was found dead in a home at 11:15 p.m. in the 300 block of Tuscany Ridge Heights N.W.


Calgary police are investigating the death of a man in his 70s and a woman in her 30s, both believed to be victims of a domestic-related homicide on Dec. 29, 2024.

Police say the killer was Benedict Kaminski, Ania’s husband and Stanislaw's son-in-law.

An emergency alert was issued Monday afternoon for Benedict, whose body was discovered later Monday afternoon.

Benedict Kaminski, 38, is seen in an undated photo. (Supplied/Calgary Police)

Police said both Sunday deaths are believed to be targeted and domestic in nature.

Shattering event
Three days later, Peter tried to make sense of the shattering event. He has taken in the family’s three children, who are six, four and two years old, and his mother and says he plans to raise them.

He said that a Christmas family fight involving Benedict was the final straw for Ania, who planned to leave the marriage.

“Every family has arguments – they fight. but yeah,” he said. “There was a little family argument (on Christmas Day) and she said that was the last straw.



“She said she’s tried for so long,” he added. “The last two years, she tried the hardest for her youngest son Caspar but this drew the line and that was it.”

He described the relationship between his sister and her husband as “rocky” but to the best of his knowledge, it had never been a violent one.

“She comes from an old-school mentality seeing how my mom was with my dad -- if you made a commitment with someone to marry, you’re going to stick through thick and thin, and try and make things work,” Wardzala said.

“But I don’t know. Violence? I wouldn’t say violence. But the dude (Benedict) never had respect.

“My sister did everything and I feel it was never good enough,” he said. “If there was any violence, I don’t know because my sister never said anything.”

He said the killing happened because Ania went to the house, where Benedict was staying, to drop off their three children so they could visit their father.

“My sister was just supposed to drop the kids off and come back to our house,” he said, “because obviously these kids were still his kids.

“There was no separation or anything. She was being respectful.”

Overwhelmed by support
A GoFundMe campaign has been launched by a family friend that has already raised close to $200,000.

Wardzala said he is overwhelmed by the support he has received from Calgarians, the Polish community, old friends and random strangers who have been reaching out to offer whatever support they can.

“You have no idea how unbelievable the support in Calgary has been and also through our Polish community,” he said.

Peter said his mother and father, who he said worked for Spruce Meadows, moved from Poland to Canada when he and Ania were born to provide a better life for them.

He described his father Stanislaw as “an awesome man.”

“He was an outdoorsman. He used to hunt and camp,” Peter said.

“He just retired – it was this year -- because there was problems a few years ago with getting flesh-eating disease. He had multiple strokes in his life. He had back surgery, got his disc removed.

“Still – even after all the things that have gone through his life, he was the most loving, supportive father, husband -- and especially grandfather to the three little ones.

“He absolutely loved them.”

'Scared'
The family’s three kids have moved in with Peter along with his mother.

He said his mother plans to retire from her job to raise the children, while he has a “laid-back” job where he doesn’t work too many days a week.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m scared when we go home, just me and my mom and the three kids," Peter said. "It’s just hearbreaking because I don’t know how we’re going to explain this to the kids."

“Seeing their faces when they’re running around they’re all happy, puts a smile on our faces,, because they’re still kids having fun," he said, "but what the reality is and me and my mom are gonna do whatever we can to support these kids.”

Haunted
Peter remains haunted by the events that unfolded Sunday night, during the holiday season, when police say incidents of domestic violence skyrocket.

“I feel like maybe I could have done something,” he said.

In retrospect, he offers one piece of advice for anyone concerned that someone they know may be at risk.

“If this ever happens when a parent has to drop off a kid to the other parents house or something like that, please bring somebody else with them," he said. "Someone else has to be present as a support system as defence, as anything – because you honestly never, never know.”

'Huge impact'
His sister was an elementary school teacher in the Rockyview County school system, where she taught Grade 1 and Grade 2 students.

“She had a huge impact anywhere she went, whether it was the Polish community, whatever school she was teaching at in the Rockyview area, she would do anything for her children,” he said.

“She was the most caring, loving mother in the world,” he added. “She was never ever upset at anything. If she had problems, she wouldn’t show it.

“She was always just such a positive, charismatic person – and super strong. A very, very strong woman.”

Autopsies for both are scheduled for Friday.

Source: CTV Calgary

I love number 5.

You never lose your individuality because you are married.

Over the years, people drift apart.

Dshocker:
You are writing long epistle, if it were to be me, i wouldn't take this sh!t.

Have you ever being in true love?

I love this babe die and do not want to lose her. I have reported her to our pastor and we have a meeting this Sunday.

chiommy123:
What are we supposed to do with those flaws that are going to be amplified in marriage? Run or talk? If no changes nko?

We have to accept, make peace with and, continue to live with those flaws if we are to have a happy marriage.

Otherwise never to enter such a marriage with the intentions of changing the flaws as It will not happen.

Do not smell what you cannot eat.

You are not going anywhere. Your relationship with Nairaland is till death do us part

As someone who has been divorced but is now happily married (going on 9 years), I think there are five big ones:

First,

You have to acknowledge that if there are things that seriously bother you about your prospective spouse, those are unlikely to change.
I think a lot of people get married thinking either that their spouse will ditch their less desirable qualities or that the qualities will somehow stop being annoying.

This is usually wrong. Nobody's perfect: there are little things my wife does that annoy me, and I'm sure she's got a longer list for me, so I’m not suggesting that people should hold out for some mythical flawless partner who doesn’t exist. However, there shouldn’t be red flags, and you shouldn’t ignore red flags thinking that they'll either go away or stop mattering.

Second, and conversely,

If you think that your marriage will freeze you both in a perfect moment forever, you're also wrong.

People grow and change over time, and life will throw curveballs at both of you. When I and my wife got married in 2012, if you'd asked what my2020 would look like (sans COVID-19), I likely would have hit on most of the big things. Still, there were some surprises and challenges along the way.

I can guarantee, however, that even assuming I and my wife continue to have a rich, happy life together, our betting average for 2030 or 2050 predictions will be much lower, because neither of us are 10th % who we were in 2012 and between work, money, and kids, oue lives have changed, as well.

Both you and your spouse need to be committed to growing together and supporting each other on the ride. If your desire is that things never change, you're likely setting yourself up for disappointment.

Third,
You're marrying your spouse's family and close friends, as well. If you're thinking that your spouse is going to give up the other people who have meaning to him/her, you're probably wrong, and even if you're right, there's likely going to be a ton of pain and conflict along that path.

You don't have to love everyone in your spouse's life the same way they do, but if the idea of decades of holidays and barbecues fills you with dread, that is a major red flag.
Fourth, newlywed love and a decade together love are not the same thing. I'd argue, all things considered, that the latter is better.

However, as marriage becomes more of a day-to-day partnership than a constant infatuation, you'd better hope that you picked someone that you actually like, as otherwise, things are going to get boring/painful really quickly.

My wife is a physically beautiful woman, but honestly, what attracts me the most is her brain and her sharp sense of humor; I just like spending time with her, even if we're only making jokes at bad TV or insulting each other's efforts while we clean the garage.

Actual married life, even if you’re wealthy and active, involves a lot of “down time,” so you’d be wise to pick someone you actually enjoy spending time with.

Finally,

Love isn't a magical force. Hollywood and fairytales send a message that love alone makes people change 180 degrees, that it overcomes all challenges, and that it fixes any problems, etc. If you’ve got love, nothing can stand in your way! This is nonsense.

Love is a basis for any strong, lasting relationship, but it isn't magic. When you talk about people who are happy and successful over the long haul, you typically note less sexy things like partnership, respect, and shared sacrifices.

Plenty of people can love each other when it's easy and fun to do so, but even though it's wonderful, marriage is work, so you need to be sure that you (and your spouse) will want to work together to deal with the inevitable difficulties of life.

Culled Quora

efemena5050:
sissy ...u don't want ur child to grow in a broken home....wat could be more broken than a useless woman trying to have an extra marital affair with his ex.....

But I love this woman so much.

Beuberry:
Strangers can be helpers

How many strangers have you helped?

Ishilove:
Olumide is married to Tola, with a son named Jidenna.

Sapasenator, doh o. Don't worry, Things Kan Only Get Better 🙄🙄

Hahahahah

You have a deep seated insecurities you need to deal with.

ManuelNate1:
2025
No Do Pass Yourself

We need something more radical.

2025, we die here!

Dogalmighty17:
Is this something that actually happened?

Believe me bro. I am in shock myself.

Mom007:
Forbid her from going to see that man and from chatting with him. If she disobey you, there u have your answer.

If she disobeys, what do I do. I don't want my child to grow in a broken home. Thanks

DonEd:
See the silly question a man Is asking.

Perhaps, u should be the flower boy for their marriage

Calm down bro. I need advice from the elders.

thesicilian:
True love is dead.

Nope. Still exist.

immortalcrown:
This childish part is very unnecessary and even makes you story appear fictional. How can a Yoruba lady who has had two Yoruba husbands give her child an Igbo name? We know you don't want to be traced. So, don't bother telling us your names and making a fool of yourself by saying that your your son's name is Jidenna. You are a Yoruba, your wife is a Yoruba, her former husband is a Yoruba, so what inspired the Igbo name for your child?

I wonder the colour of the blanket and how many rounds they went.

You can't win the battle. You fighting her can only make her to become more secretive that you will no longer find out anything going on between her and her ex.

Excellent.

YES.

My wife's mom is Igbo while the dad is a Yoruba from Akure. Jidenna is the middle name and we usually like to call him that.

Babangidapikin:
Stop feeling insecure just take Alibaba's word for there always there and look away ... she has two husbands manage your side well.

Calm down, I think I can still get her to come to her senses. We loved each other once.

EmperorCaesar:


He's in for a long duel and the game is rigged against him. He started at halftime when the woman was leading 0-1

Whatever he choose to do wont work as they are sure gonna F

He should tell his son this story and advice him not to marry a divorcee or single mom in the future

He's sure to lose out here. Accept your defeat in advance like a man

What about our son? What happens to him?

Hello Nairalanders,

I am completely lost and need advice. My name is Olumide Adeyanju(Not my real name), and I’m a 42-year-old civil engineer based in Lagos. I’ve been married to my wife, Tola, for seven years. We have a son together, Jidenna, who is five years old. Our marriage hasn’t been perfect, but I thought we had something solid—until recently.

When I met Tola, she was a divorcee. She told me her first marriage to a man named Dapo Olatunji ended after three years due to irreconcilable differences and I believed her. According to her, Dapo had anger issues and was overly controlling. She said she left the marriage to protect her mental health and focus on building a better life for herself. At the time, I admired her courage, and we built a beautiful relationship.

Last month, everything changed. Tola and I were invited to a wedding in Lekki. As fate would have it, Dapo was also at the wedding. It was the first time they were seeing each other in nearly 10 years. I noticed they exchanged pleasantries, and while it seemed cordial at first, something about the way they looked at each other didn’t sit well with me.

In the weeks that followed, I started noticing subtle changes in Tola’s behavior. She began acting distant and spending more time on her phone, often smiling at her screen like a teenager in love. When I asked her what was going on, she brushed it off, saying it was just "work stress."

Then, two weeks ago, I came home early from work and found her on a video call with Dapo. She didn’t realize I was home, so I overheard parts of their conversation. They were laughing and reminiscing about their past together—things like how they used to travel to Abuja for weekend getaways and the time he bought her a surprise gift for her birthday. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment between lovers.

When I confronted her, she admitted that she and Dapo had been talking regularly since the wedding. She claimed it was "nothing serious" and that they were just "catching up as friends." But I don’t believe her. Her behavior has changed so much. She’s more secretive, and I even found out she met up with him last Saturday without telling me. She said it was a "closure" meeting, but why does she need closure after all these years?

Now I’m stuck. I love Tola, but it feels like her heart is being drawn back to Dapo. I’ve spoken to my elder brother, Kunle, and he thinks I should stand my ground and fight for my marriage. But my best friend, Tunde, says I should let her go if she’s already emotionally checked out.

I don’t know what to do. Should I confront Dapo directly? Should I give Tola an ultimatum to stop talking to him? Or should I quietly walk away and let her decide who she really wants to be with?

Please, Nairalanders, I need your honest opinions. Have you experienced or heard of a situation like this? How do I handle it?

pinkbarby:
Now, this topic is for a well -to-do Yoruba Christian men that is not interested in marriage but just wants to have a single lady who can be his baby's mother.

The available lady is single, young, Yoruba and Christian.

1. The interested man must be Yoruba Christian, of at least 35years old, that is very understanding and kind
2. The intending baby's father must be well-to-do and must be willing to pay child support till the child or children( incase they have twin/triplets or more kids), becomes 18 years old.
3. Must be able to afford medical bills, welfare bills including DNA test payment for proof of fatherhood
4. Must be able to provide normal & proper accommodation for the baby's mother and child/children.
5. The kid(s) will stay with their mother and their father can be there at any time.
6. The names of the kid(s) shall Yoruba and Christian names only.
7. Any interested Yoruba Christian man should WhatsApp 09064317755

I endorse this message.

I would say love stories are as unique as the people who experience them and that is uniquely from my point of view. But for many, there's that one moment when they just know they've found the person they’re meant to be with.

For Funmi, it was the way Ade remembered the little things. On their first date, she casually mentioned her favorite flower, lilies. Months later, on her birthday, Ade surprised her with a bouquet of lilies, saying, “I remember you said these make you smile.”

For Amaka, it was when Dapo stayed by his side during his toughest moments. She had lost her multinational company's job and felt like a failure, but instead of walking away, Dapo encouraged her, helped her update her CV, and even sent out applications on her behalf. “He saw the best in me when I couldn’t even see it myself,” Amaka recalls.

So, what are the signs? Is it in the little things they do, the way they support you, or simply the way they make you feel? Share your own story or your thoughts on how you knew—or will know—that someone is “The One.” Let’s inspire each other with stories of true love!

Nkemosifo:
My BF did the research and told me not to go and I still enter road

Sorry ok. You are now wiser and able to make better decisions in future.
You honestly can enjoy Tanzania by yourself with proper research.

You should have made you own research. In Nigeria, You should never assume you will get a good deal from your friend.

Sirchiboy:
.
Uncle my 5k oooo.

You big pass 5k nau. Remember you still get that 500k for business.

Ishilove:
In the context of this post, yes I would.
8
Giving birth is a risky venture, one where the woman is between life and death. She has gone through unimaginable pain and torture to push out another living being from her body and is yet to fully recover. Now, after going through that kind of experience, only to hear that your spouse went to conduct a DNA test while you're still on the hospital bed smacks of callousness. The woman in this post wrote "after I just finish pushing out a baby", so this means the test was conducted within hours or days of the baby's delivery.

So yes, I would be willing to walk out of a marriage where my safety and well being is not a priority, but rather whether I have been díck hopping is.

Now, in other scenarios, if you want to do a DNA test on my children with you, feel free to go ahead, but never let me know. Make sure you do it in secret, because if I find out, it will taint the love I have for you and I will never forget how you doubted my fidelity and betrayed me. Where I gave you 💯 of my affection, it will go down to 40 or 50% because after all my loyalty, you still doubted me enough to run a DNA test on children that belong to you. I will NEVER trust you again.




Sapasenator, koldrun

I have never had a need for a DNA but if I have to, it would be private and confidential but God help you if DNA confirms I am not the father of the child. Lol

Ishilove:
💯

Ishi, so hypotheticaly speaking, if your husband opts for a DNA to confirm paternity of one of your child, will you serve him a divorce notice?

Relax people, we are all dying alone.

Bonab:
I hated Christmas as a kid. I lived with my wicked rich aunt that doesn't care about me. Christmas was a nightmare for me, as I was always busy cleaning the house everyday and washing plates.

Different visitors would come and i would serve them, worst is that my aunt would disgrace me in front of her visitors. It is a terrible memory for me, except for one particular Christmas that I was allowed to visit my village with my parents.

I am free now, financially stable but still not excited about Christmas. That's why I always try to make it memorable for my kids.

Where is that Aunt now?