LOL!!! Vengence is not mine, its the Lord's.

I am just focusing on raising my sons and being the very best mother that I can be to them.

Thanks for the offer, it did make me smile a little.

I am assuming that you all are talking of someone else now. I am the original poster I work and make good money I'm not asking anybody for anything.
I am African American and I live in the Washington, DC area.
And to the poster who said that my ex-husband having a baby is none of my business you are WRONG. Our divorce was final less than a week ago which means
that while he was legally married to me he got her pregnant, In the US that's a no-no!
But I'm moving on with life. When I wrote this post it was all fresh, well it still is. But I'm be good. Of course it hurts we were married for years and at one point we loved each other.
No, the new guy in my life is not Nigerian you better believe that. He is also African American.

I am holding NO grudges I have love for Nigerians, I have two sons with that blood, I'm just not dealing with them like that EVER yes, I said EVER again.

God Bless you all.

I agree hindsight is something else. Looking back 9 years ago. I did let a few things slide by, nothing that I felt was drastic. Not even to this day. We did have 3 pretty good years together. I'm not regretting a thing. I count it all as a lesson.

Posakosa,

Thanks for your reply, however, my ex was not this way when I married him. Trust me, had he shown his true colors from day 1 I would have never married him.

I left him because of my kids. He abused us all in one way or another. My sons begged me not to go back. I don't want to make him seem like an animal, he did a lot of good. Houses, finances but he just doesn't know how to show love. Not the way I need to be shown love. I don't ask for a lot. Enough on that.

I am taking your advice I'm teaching and showing my sons how to love. I am teaching them that love doesn't hurt, disrepect or belittle. It nourishes, fulfills and builds people.
I don't have a daughter of my mine, but my new friend does. And I will love her unconditionally.

Its hard but I am moving on, God has a bigger and better plan for me (US), one which involves TRUE LOVE. Be blessed & see you around the board.

SCBeauty

I am an AA woman. My husband & I had been married for 8 years together 9. Our divorce was final this week. We have 2 sons together. We have been separated for almost a year and half. I thought it would be easy but divorcing him was so hard. I know its because I still love him. I'm not in love with him but I care about him, his well being. He has done a lot of bad things to me & my children but for some reason my heart still has love for him. I'm no saint but I did right by him. It hurts so much that he did not fight for us, he would not hear of counseling. During the time we were separated he never apologized for his actions, wait only after I apologized for doing or saying anything to offend him. He would come over and try to have sex with me. I would not allow it.
He has recently joined a church (with ties to Nigeria) and befriended a Nigerian woman. This woman is pregnant. My youngest son tells me after a visit with his dad, my dad is having a baby. Of course he denies it. I guess only time will tell.
This Yoruba man has drained me of so much, I doubt that I can love again. I have someone in my life now that wants to be a father to my kids and wants to be here for me but I am so drained that I don't want to even go there with him.
I am not bitter but I know without a doubt I will never date or marry outside of culture.

All of my friends (AA) feel the same way, well they have moved on with their lives and love. Out of them all we were married the longest.