₦airaland Forum

Victory is correct B-Boy your turn!!

Marriage is santified by God, don't be the reason their marriage breaks up as it is indeed a taboo.
If she's meant to be with you it will be but you do nothing and you allowing her to confess her love to you and vice versa again doesn't help.

Ill just like to say THANK YOU Cute_ass and Maleeq!! I really appreciate your time, effort, insight and advise on my dilema.
You have made some very valid points that i have considered but due to nature of the issue(s) it is one of those lifetime decisions and this really makes me anxious.

Him cheating did really feel like a stab in my heart reason being we have been through a whole lot together, b4 we got together it took almost a year b4 i finally succombed to his wooing. I have a major issue with trust in life and especially in love, my ex-boyfriend b4 him cheated and really made me run up the wall with his treacherous ways. Yes B did manage to climb over that wall and earn my trust and love, but finding out that he too cheated really just shut me down. I have always asked him to be honest with me in all matters which he had been but that just came as an unexpected blow that i couldn't go through again.

To answer your questions:

cute-ass:
How did you get to know about his cheating??

He told me, I belief this was out of guilt when i pick him up from the airport.

How sincerely sorry is/was he?? How long has it been since you guys broke up?? Why has it been difficult for you to love another??

I don't doubt his sincerity or the fact that he truly loves me.
We broke up early Jan.
Nobody else interests me! I just keep thinking about him and everyone, everywhere reminds me of him and i just find myself being dismissive of any guys that approach with any kind of interest.

cute-ass:
If he hadn't cheated on you, were you in any way thinking of leaving him because of the mum and sis?? If No, then they shouldn't be your reason to stay or leave. BTW if i may ask, what exactly do they have against you?? What does he have to say about it??

To tell you the truth i feel as though i am caught up in the middle of a rift. His mother and sister-in-law don't particularly get along, and the mistake that i made (we made) was that the first time i was to meet her was during the naming ceremony of one of his nieces (sister-in-laws' - whom i had previously met). He dropped me and my friends and due to arrangements and lifts for the Pastor he wasn't there when his mother and sister arrived and hence nobody was around to really introduce me to them, and being knew i kinda hanged with the sister-in-law that i had previously met. A few incidents happened with the sister-in-law taking and using that advantage which then got me labelled as being on her side and disrepectful from get-go.
I have met the mother and sister a few other occasions and all my attempts to reconcile has just been in-vain, i can understand her feeling that way especially with one that they fell out with after marriage let alone one that is already messed up b4 getting into the family.
B assured me that it isn't the case and it's just a simple miss understanding, he feels his mum will eventually come around once she knows me better and that his sis is simply defending the mother being the only girl and that in the family. 

No!

B-Boy:
Forgiveness?

cashflowpc:
LOVE, ?
Still thinking

Close but both are wrong, guess again - LOL

Date

Pharrell

Back again

Golf

Nope, try again

chiogo:
*thinks* should i talk? yes, let me talkclears throat
hmmm, he has to be tall 'cause am tall too and i can't be taller than him. nah. has to be fit, with some little muscles here and there, u know. not titties like a female. have tight abs, not flabby stomach. not skinny but average body size but def. not fat. Just like R.Kelly,lol.

Nice one girl! All qualities mentioned above, he doesn't have to be muscular (too much is a turn off for me) but toned, dark skinned, nice teeth and athletic. Needless to mention he has to be a man in every sense of the word!

I would honestly say 16 is the perfect age. B4 this age what are you doing having a boyfriend? From 16 yes you can learn to start developing feelings and emotions for the opposite sex.

Thank you guys for your honest opinions. To answer your questions:

omega25red:
question: do you think you can watch him go on another bussiness trip without you suspecting or thinking something happened if you can live with that then by all means give the man another chance

Him going on business trips is not an issue, at times i even go with him and make a weekend of it - but this particular one obviously had its kleg.

Maleeq:
I feel since you guys have been together for 3years, one "drunken mistake" should not let you give up if you really love him. As strong as we guys are, we know we still have our weaknesses.
Let me ask you this, while you guys were still together, did he strike you as the "player" type? If you answer to this is a NO, then I'll say, give him a chance.
I'm not married and never have been, but I do know that the answer to the question lies within you. If you have been comfortable with the idea while things were good, carry on with it. I doubt if he would use marriage talk just to get you back without really meaning it.

He was a self-confessed player back in the day (before we got together) and i was aware of this even before he told me. I got with him believing he was genuine and his level of honesty regardless of the consequencies really was a plus for me. As far as i'm aware this was the only time while we were together, although he flirts but never to the extent of disrepecting me.

Another one of your points that i also find baffling is that all the times i have known him 4 years +, been out with him, party with him, bars n clubs with him i have never seen him drunk! He his the kind of person that loves to be in control and of himself especially, so to get so drunk and loose your senses really is a new one to me. 

@derinsola - This area really does bother me as i've unfortunately lost my parents, my sisters are all younger than me hence why i am so weary of going into a marriage where i would be battling and fighting with the female members of my husband's family.

Well members have answered the question. Cute_ass has been sure to cover all basis, so please do go ahead and instigate a conversation with this girl. As you say you've known her for 7 months and have obviously been watching her so you at least have an idea of what mght interest her. Ask her out where it is just the two of you and who knows what can develop from there

There are indeed some cuties in the competition, who would have guessed it in this same NL

Adetife:
Personally i feel this comes in under the whole TRUST element. I wouldn't mind my girl telling me if she gets toasted by some guy and vice versa, fact is at times we even laugh about some of the lines used on her. I don't particularly want to know each and everyone just the ones she feels relevant for me to know about for whatever reasons. I don't mind guys toasting my girl (as i truly would be more worried if they didnt) but what i am interested in is what her responses thoughts and actions were to it.

I couldn't have answered this better myself.
If you don't let your guy in on some of these toasters and your reactions/responses, then it opens up reasons for doubt in your relationship.
I've always been honest about such matters that even one guy (who knew my boyfriend) made a play at me and i let my boyfriend into this which he laughed off and simply pecked me on my forehead and told me he loves me too. The same night he bumped into this guy whom started mouthing off and cos i had already told my boyfriend prior to this he was better prepared to put the guy in his place and shot him down.
Being truthful in any relationship can only strengthen and maintain that TRUST.

My ex said these to me when he proposed and it actually brought a tear to my eye (considering)
"You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without"

mrpataki:
What are the tell tales sign?

Personally every lady that has ever said a NO to me, if I stood my ground we ended up dating!
In my world I see a NO as guy please try harder!

If you dream it, you can achieve it!

LOL - I personally agree that most women even if they like you would automatically say NO, but there are times when that NO is genuine and pesistance quickly becomes irritation.
The general tell tale signs are mannerism, facial xpressions and demeanour. Some guys just need to be quick to pick up on these as 'standing your ground' can lead to outright anger and abuse.

Hi guys really need your help on this one.
My ex-boyfriend has just proposed to me. We dated for a period of three years and within that time we even lived together and enjoyed every moment of it. I called the relationship off after finding out the he had cheated on me with a girl that he works with, he assured me it was just a drunken-mistake while they were on a business trip in Milan. I do really love this guy and haven't been with or in another relationship since we broke up 5 months ago. My concern is does he really want to marry me or does he just see this as the only way to get me back, and also his mother and sister don't particularly like me and he has always had my back on this issue and his brothers love me and are rooting for us. What is a girl to do?

From a woman's perspective:
You approach her and say hello
She looks at you and hears what you have to say
If she's not interested she will tell u: You GUYS need to learn to read women better
If she wants you to push harder and show her what you're made of there will be tell tale signs just as when she's not interested and stating to get annoyed as your pesterness!

ORUKA by Sonny Nneji is my preference and without a doubt getting played on my wedding day!

Chiogo has said it - Neyo wrote the song, not all artists sing their own material and most buy songs that they feel they can promote n sell, matches their lifestyle and believes, women power, political etc it doesn't necessarily have to indicate or refer to any particular situation or person in their lives.

Lloyd - You

Yeah


Ever been Universal Studios

Tell her she's sweet

LOL - Yeah at college


Ever been to Disney World?

Too young


Omarion

Might consider


P.Diddy

Yes, one of the scariest days on my life


Ever had a crush on your teacher?

Blinded

Tell her Hi