₦airaland Forum

D banj's time is up, Olamide's time is now. If you don't want your songs to be stolen, put them in a box and lock it up. What am I saying sef, which kind song d banj get wey olamide dey steal?

She wasted her life! As an educated person, if you can't abstain from sex, then don't engage in an unprotected one. Not because of pregnancy only but there is the need to put into consideration, the possibility of contacting STD. This is a big lesson to us, do not fall a victim!

amusadele:
God is great. He never fail or disappoint. I have said it over and over again that Buhari will fail in the shortest possible time. That his bodly language will go down on a steady speed. He has nothing to offer other than coming together to force out GEJ because democracy stand on number.

Guy you got it wrong. Buhari has many thing to offer this country, remember Corruption during GEJ administration lasted for 4yrs and you can't expect that to be wiped out within months. Or you have not been following what is happening? Seems I am hearing some monetary figures that was mis managed during GEJ admin which I never heard before. Together, we can make this country a better place to live.

Before, elections were meant to be won on the field but advancement in Nigeria political sector has made us to realised that the easiest place to win election is to file a case at the court. Come to think of it, what possible good can be achieved from PDP administration other than the normal corruptible practices?

oloriooko:
Sorry to burst your bubble its Man City, the light blue billionaires

oh, that inconsistent fc, i see

oloriooko:
You got my team wrong cos we already qualified Just here to taunt Assnal to join Woman U

Halla madrid

oloriooko:
The oil drilling team

for una mind, wait till you end up in europa just like your counter part man u

In other news, blues is leading. Up Chelsea

The rate at which Nigeria is recording fire cases these days calls for extra carefulness. May God save us from fire

I won't be surprised if man u eventually beat wolfsburg coz I believe they can. Likewise, I won't be surprised if man u make it to europa league competition coz some clubs need to feature in the competition. Truly a Chelsea fans.

omogin:
Self acclaimed pastor is the right description. All pastors are not fake.

Actually, all pastors are not fake. Some of them are real

Jesus said ''Not every one that saith unto
me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into
the kingdom of heaven; but he
that doeth the will of my Father
which is in heaven''

Others are:

"you press men, you always say there are no minerals in kano. We have Coca Cola, Fanta, Mirinda and the newly invented Sprite"...Bakin Zuwo.

"Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram and invest in Nigeria"...GEJ

" I will water your school and fire your school"..Orji Uzoh Kalu

"Nigerians dont panic, terrorist attack is everywhere ..maybe is our turn"...GEJ

"I will rather kill myself than commit sucide"..Dame Jonathan

..."I founded this school for the masses and the school fees is 850,000 naira"...Atiku Abubakar

"..until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria." - Umoru Dikko.

"Telephone is not meant for the poor"..David Mark

..."The worth of a child born and breed in Nigeria cannot be compared to that in the United States" -Yakubu Gowon

.."school is not meant for the poor, only for the rich"..Ikedi Ikiri Ohakim

.."At 50, Britain is still battling with King Arthur and the knights of the round table so Nigeria is not doing too badly"..Diezeani Madueke.

..."The corp members where destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny"..Mallam isa Yaguda, Gov Bauchi State.

.."On behalf of 20 million naira, I donate my family".. Dame Jonathan.

.."We, the PDP did not win this election, I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called the result"...Chris Uba

.."I want to commend the doctors and nurses for responding to treatment"...Dame Jonathan

..."I can see camera people, are they going to televise us alive?"- Dame Jonathan.

Here are some of the funny
quotes.

1. “We want to thank the
President for bringing
Facebook to Nigeria”
– Information Minister

Labaran
Maku.
The official dropped this
remark December 20, 2010,
while speaking during
Goodluck
Jonathan’s ‘Facebook’ book
launch in Lagos. Although
Maku
tried to thank GEJ for
introducing
social networking to Nigerian
politics, the phrase
immediately
turned into a social joke.

2. “With all due respect, if
Jesus Christ could come to the
world and be the chairman of
INEC, any election he would
conduct will be disputed.” –
Olusegun Obasanjo

OBJ said this in 2010 in Abuja
reacting to the removal of
Professor Maurice Iwu as
INEC
chairman. Unsurprisingly, he
came under fire over the
statement as Nigerians
accused the former President
of
blasphemy.

3. “Over 70% of what they call
corruption in Nigeria, is mere
common theft. – Goodluck
Jonathan

This one was shortly tagged
“stealing is not corruption”.
President said this in May,
2014,
during the Presidential Media
Chat. Reactions were not long
in
arriving, as the comment went
viral immediately. Twitter and
Facebook users joked that
now
they were relieved to know
that
there was no corruption
among
Nigerian politicians… only
mere
stealing.

4. “God is a democrat, does
not support rigging but if you
rig and succeed, that means
God approves of it.” – Jonah
Jang

Plateau State governor made
the
statement in May, 2013, after
having emerged the chairman
Nigerian Governors’ Forum.
Jang
insisted that God helped him
defeat his major opponent,
Rotimi Amaechi.

5. “Ojukwu is a great man,he
died but his manhood lives
on”
– Patience Jonathan.

Of course Dame Patience put
a
noble meaning into the word
“manhood”, however Internet
users did not miss the
opportunity to have a good
laugh upon hearing it. It is
worth
mentioning that the First Lady
is
often attacked in social media
over grammatical blunders in
her
speech.

6. “Go and die” – Edo State
Governor

Adams Oshiomhole
said to a widowed woman
The incident happened as the
woman knelt before
Oshiomhole begging for her
little
means of livelihood to be
saved.
After which he shouted out
the
infamous phrase.
Not funny at all, which was
immediately noticed by
Nigerians.
The video of the great
humiliation surfaced online
and
got people furious. Soon the
governor apologized to the
widow, donated N2 million to
her and offered help with
employment.

7. “My fellow
widows…”
another pearl
from Patience Jonathan as a
special treat
This way the First Lady started
her speech in March, 2011, as
she addressed women who
lost
their husbands.

8. “I will not die. I drink
bottled water. You do not
drink bottled water.” – Rotimi
Amaechi

Rivers State governor went
emptional during his last
year’s rally speech held in
Port
harcourt.

Others are:

"you press men, you always say there are no minerals in kano. We have Coca Cola, Fanta, Mirinda and the newly invented Sprite"...Bakin Zuwo.

"Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram and invest in Nigeria"...GEJ

" I will water your school and fire your school"..Orji Uzoh Kalu

"Nigerians dont panic, terrorist attack is everywhere ..maybe is our turn"...GEJ

"I will rather kill myself than commit sucide"..Dame Jonathan

..."I founded this school for the masses and the school fees is 850,000 naira"...Atiku Abubakar

"..until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria." - Umoru Dikko.

"Telephone is not meant for the poor"..David Mark

..."The worth of a child born and breed in Nigeria cannot be compared to that in the United States" -Yakubu Gowon

.."school is not meant for the poor, only for the rich"..Ikedi Ikiri Ohakim

.."At 50, Britain is still battling with King Arthur and the knights of the round table so Nigeria is not doing too badly"..Diezeani Madueke.

..."The corp members where destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny"..Mallam isa Yaguda, Gov Bauchi State.

.."On behalf of 20 million naira, I donate my family".. Dame Jonathan.

.."We, the PDP did not win this election, I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called the result"...Chris Uba

.."I want to commend the doctors and nurses for responding to treatment"...Dame Jonathan

..."I can see camera people, are they going to televise us alive?"- Dame Jonathan.

Here are some of the funny quotes.
1. “We want to thank the
President for bringing
Facebook to Nigeria”
– Information Minister Labaran
Maku.

The official dropped this
remark December 20, 2010,
while speaking during Goodluck
Jonathan’s ‘Facebook’ book
launch in Lagos. Although Maku
tried to thank GEJ for introducing
social networking to Nigerian
politics, the phrase immediately
turned into a social joke.

2. “With all due respect, if
Jesus Christ could come to the
world and be the chairman of
INEC, any election he would
conduct will be disputed.” –
Olusegun Obasanjo

OBJ said this in 2010 in Abuja
reacting to the removal of
Professor Maurice Iwu as INEC
chairman. Unsurprisingly, he
came under fire over the
statement as Nigerians
accused the former President of
blasphemy.

3. “Over 70% of what they call
corruption in Nigeria, is mere
common theft. – Goodluck
Jonathan

This one was shortly tagged
“stealing is not corruption”.
President said this in May, 2014,
during the Presidential Media
Chat. Reactions were not long in
arriving, as the comment went
viral immediately. Twitter and
Facebook users joked that now
they were relieved to know that
there was no corruption among
Nigerian politicians… only mere
stealing.

4. “God is a democrat, does
not support rigging but if you
rig and succeed, that means
God approves of it.” – Jonah
Jang

Plateau State governor made the
statement in May, 2013, after
having emerged the chairman
Nigerian Governors’ Forum. Jang
insisted that God helped him
defeat his major opponent,
Rotimi Amaechi.

5. “Ojukwu is a great man,he
died but his manhood lives on”
– Patience Jonathan.

Of course Dame Patience put a
noble meaning into the word
“manhood”, however Internet
users did not miss the
opportunity to have a good
laugh upon hearing it. It is worth
mentioning that the First Lady is
often attacked in social media
over grammatical blunders in her
speech.

6. “Go and die” – Edo State
Governor Adams Oshiomhole
said to a widowed woman
The incident happened as the
woman knelt before
Oshiomhole begging for her little
means of livelihood to be saved.
After which he shouted out the
infamous phrase.
Not funny at all, which was
immediately noticed by Nigerians.
The video of the great
humiliation surfaced online and
got people furious. Soon the
governor apologized to the
widow, donated N2 million to
her and offered help with
employment.

7. “My fellow
widows…” another pearl
from Patience Jonathan as a
special treat
This way the First Lady started
her speech in March, 2011, as
she addressed women who lost
their husbands.

8. “I will not die. I drink
bottled water. You do not
drink bottled water.” – Rotimi
Amaechi

Rivers State governor went
emptional during his last
year’s rally speech held in Port
harcourt.

Apology accepted. Just tell your minister who is clueless to get back to his senses and make sure things are back to normal. Imagine a litre of fuel here is 150, some are selling for 200 and all what your president can do is to be embarking on tours. Today na Iran, tomorrnw na Malta, change indeed

Taxi driver season 2, if care is not taken, apc may loose that gubernatorial seat. Watching with my 3D glasses anyway.

Taxi driver season 2, if care is not taken, apc may loose that gubernatorial seat. Watching with my 3D glasses anyway.

A gem is gone, rest in peace mama

To all of you wey dey criticise GEJ during his administration, how market? The country is in poo, your president is busy with tours

Kogi people, I hail thee...

Minister for women affairs can now sow to the north, what an interesting improvement

MTN really deserve to be sanctioned. I received a message telling me I have been given caller tune some hrs ago n 50 was deducted from my account again. Chai! Mtn