zed7:
There's no love out there, men should work hard and marry only when financially capable. Marry a sensible woman and have manageable kids.

A woman may claim independent but she still wants a man to be a provider and if you can't provide you are worthless.

I sympathise with the husband of this woman but that is the reality of life. He's as good as worthless right now to the woman. Things will never change, it's gender roles.

You're not being fair at all. Even if you are alone, you must plan toward your feeding and general logistics. It's a wrong thing to use all your salaries for a business you can't really give details to your partner.
How can you conclude there's no love out there? What's your definition of love?
Giving The whole burden to your wife to shoulder while you remain a helpless at the expenses of her health, is that what you call love?

Why working class? Is that your most important requirement?

Kirchoffs:
Marriage is a different ball game entirely, am still in my twenties, am not thinking of marriage now

Ok.
I'm talking about in marriage here

Ok12345:
This would have been my story but I japa!!!

No one says online business is not good oo but it should only take 30% of your money, 70% should go into physical business or you look for a job to support yourself or your family.

Na so so promise you go dey get if you marry someone who does online business with 100% of his or her capital.

Madam if you are in lagos, live according to your means,you can move to a room apartment in the mainland since it is only you and the baby.It should not be more or less than 200k with agreement,by the time you finish spending the remaining 300k ,your baby should be old enough so you can go back to work,and get used to your husband giving your excuses if he continues with that online business, I wasted 3yrs of my life doing that. Ire ooo

Thanks for sharing

MMotimo:
Wrong thread

How?

Kingekeh:
Granted, you have been trying your best and deserve commendation. Also, granted, your companion is not doing well financially, and by extension, has been unwittingly failing in his responsibility financially and should try doing better. That, however, ought not to have bred your obvious resentment towards him, citing your statement like "I feel like getting an apartment and move there alone without him."

It is better imagined than to witness how you have been abusing him in different ways because of his present financial condition, and if in the near future he becomes financially successful and better than you and decides to treat you like trash, you will start singing the usual song "I was there for him when he had nothing and even fed him."

My point is that don't allow the present situation to weigh you down completely and cause you to always abuse him, provided that you know that other than his present financial sorry state, he is a good man and has good intentions towards you. Meanwhile, have an open and honest discussion with him about the accommodation, tell him about your savings and wishes and put heads together and come up with a practicable solution to the need. I don't want to believe that he is an idiot and will try to exploit you if he knows that you have some savings.

Abusing him? How?

And if God is going to bless him in the nearby future to be wealthy, I know God will not forget me because I am not lazy.

Loaning money from one loan app to another and investing all he has monthly in an online business as he claimed, without considering upkeep and shelter is not good enough.

piroux:
I don’t support you remaining in that house. If you had more than 500k, I would also advise you to get your apartment. However that money is small. How will you survive when the baby comes? Are you going to get any form of maternity leave payment? If not, like someone said, find family members or friends with space that you can stay with.

This might also open your husband’s eyes. He would realize you are serious about your demands and maybe begin to work towards what is important for his family

Personally, I don’t enjoy staying with people and I can be impulsive when my tolerance limit has been reached. I would honestly have gotten the apartment already and be living with the consequences by now.

Just think things through and do what we’re rod best for you and your baby.

Same here. I feel it will be too much load on a family relative.
Maybe I will reduce the cost of the apartment to a self contain as one of my friend advised.
My very aim is to reposition my husband. Because if I must stay married to him for the rest of my life, they are things he must work on.
Thanks for sharing

boldx:

Now you know the kind of man you have married. You need to do what makes you happy. No time for emotions. And talk to his family so that he can sit up. A lazy man cannot be the Head of the family. You need to give him some reason to have a rethink about his life in a near decent way so that he can grow up and take responsibility. A man that cannot take care of his family is not worthy to be called a man. At least, let him fail while trying, but he must show deep concern.

Better.

UptownVibes:
Seems you didn't see the part,where she stated that he is into online biz. Just that it hasn't started yielding income. My question is,didn't op see the state her husband was before getting married to him and even going as far as getting pregnant ? Everybody knows how the country is messed up now,so one has to be very careful when making decisions. If you go renting an apartment, without his permission or support, you might be playing dice with ur marriage. Op keep your money,let's see if he ,your husband will want to have and raise his child under bad roof .. The reason why he is relaxed is because you have been taking care of his responsibilities.

For any business minded person, you don't invest everything at once. They ought to be money for family expenses as well.

Kirchoffs:
Even people like me with over 5million in savings still prefer to stay with my parents, I wouldn't even dare say I want to rent an apartment now , how much you with 500k that money will disappear in the twinkle of an eye.

Stay put

You mean even if you're married with 5million in your account, you can not rent an accommodation?

emmanuelbrown26:
Let me give u elderly advice.
Since u hv known d root cause of why u are planning to rent another apartment, it will better u tackle d root cause which is fixing d roof and ceiling, since d rent is free (as someone has suggested)
Secondly, renting another apartment will definitely finish your 500k savings bcs by d time u pay rent of 350k, what about d cost of logistics and miscellaneous, by d time u factor all these things, u will know that 500k will not even be enough.
Thirdly, remember that baby is on d way, only NAN 1 is around 3k to 4k depending on d location and Nan 1 finishes within 4 to 5 days depending on how d baby would eat.
Fourthly, whatever u are doing to save upto 500k, I will suggest u lease d space for someone to manage it for u, urs will be to supervise or monitor pending when u will put to bed, bcs right now, u don't need much stress at all.
Mak I stop here for now and I wish u safe delivery

Fixing the house is not an option. A carpenter said, it's a big project. Because the wood holding the zinc is bad as well. So removing zink will lead to many other problem.

dawnomike:
Let's start here: How long have you been married?
If your marriage is still young, talk him into you guys getting an apartment from your savings together... For him to still be petting you, he has some goodness in him. He is not just doing things the right way.

I hope is so called online business is not sport betting... If he is genuinely into a good online biz, he should be out of his mess soon

That's the manipulative part of it. It's not any good in him.
It's bad. Because me I can't be petting him with sweet words when I'm suppose to help him out fianancially. It's pure evil.

ZaRuleOfLaw:
you said that your present accommodation is free. I suggest you get a good carpenter & tell him to fix the leaking roof. he will change a few sheets and patch up the rest. it might not exceed 200k, which means that you will still have some change from the 500k. maximize your free accommodation jare. renting a new apartment is going to stress you much and your present condition doesn't need that. all the best.

Fixing the house is a big project. Carpenter said if they touch it, more expenses will follow. It wouldn't be only zinc any more.

Pls advise.
I'm 6months pregnant. The way I work hard before doing my small business has declined. I have successfully saved 500k.

My husband is not helping fianancially at all. He claimed he's into Forex trading and online business. All his money goes there.
He promised we will change appartintment from the free one we're presently in, but as soon as I agreed and got pregnant, he relaxed and refused to make any effort toward that.
I will soon deliver and he has no savings. He has not been contributing to any of my hospital expenses, home upkeep either. All his money goes into paying loan app and funding his online business.

I'm so disappointed in him.

He keeps petting me with words. He's cunning and manipulative.
I feel like getting an apartment and move there alone without him.

I want a better accommodation before I put to birth. Our present place is terrible, it needs renovation. Almost everywhere is leaking during rain.

I'm thinking of getting a one bedroom apartment of 350k from my money. I know more expenses await me and all that, but I really need to stand up for myself and my forth coming baby.

What do you suggest I do?
In this marriage, I've seen I'm going to be all by myself fianancially.
How should i manage this season in my life to scale through? Pls advise