₦airaland Forum

Awe!  @ stillwater: , that's nice!!

Somehow,   I think deep down,  if a Jamaican,  & I'd say for arguments sake - another person of African origin. cast their surface differences & "misconceptions"  aside their relationship Or indeed friendship,  can a "soupy rich "

@ Oziomatv thank you for your response , although (if I'm honest) - you did put me off (quite a bit)  

I think you should wait!! a bit longer before marrying this guy, because if your love & convictions were strong enough.  after dating him for 3yrs you would not still be Questioning . 

The fact that you are  - means that your love / convictions & commitment to the relationship aren't as strong as they'd need to be - to make a already Questionable marriage ,  successful.  I wish you all the best , but I think you've clearly still got a lot to think about


Don't get married because  you've invested in the relationship - instead get married because it feels right, & you have no further Questions!!!!

" write like an Nigerian" Ha ha , thats a first.
but wow!!! Jamacians "inimitable"   I'll not ques you on that, but instead take it has a compliment

But No! ,  I am jamaican very much so ,   although I am a very cosmopolitan person ( well travelled ) so perhaps  this is the reason for me not chatting  in de strickly yardieeee stayl lli lii  eee

I think I said this somewhere else this thread.  ppl are always making generalisations (about other ppl) & the sooner they accept that everyones an individual literally the sooner they widen their scope of understanding .

having said that your comment made me laugh , whats with shayla/sheila bit don't get it

sorry ,  what I mean is have either of you (yourself or your partner ) experienced  within  your Nigerian community any difficulties (as result of your being a mixed couple)
that you /or she , has had to /or choose to live with. in order that you both remain in your relationship.

i.e with this guy I once dated ,  I had to endure almost constantly  horrible looks from African females whilst out,  this is something unpleasant that i would have had to live with in order to remain in that particular. relationship.

I'm assuming before you entered  your mixed relationship. you possibly dated a lady/ or ladies from your back ground /culture ,  as I have mine. Now I didn't have to endure any difficult experiences / or make any compromises when with a Jamaican man.  (can you see where I'm coming from)?

 can I ask the Que - if you do / or did you have to make any compromises ,   does this not matter after a while?
if I'm being too nosy just tell me

my idea of a " strong black woman"  is -

1. who is proud to of African Culture & Roots, this is eessential because if we are'nt then how will our children be ?
2. a woman who is not afraid to wear her beauty naturally i.e Hair.
3. One who  keeps an eye & ear out for her fellow Afri/Afro brothers & sisters, who wish to progress along any path that she may be able to take them.
4. she opens her mind towards education & opportunity for improvement, for the good of herself & her family.
5. she is forward thinking, & pro-active  within her community.

6. she takes the time to personally teach & nurturer her (& any other) children. instead of relying on others to do this.
7. she does her best to ensure that her family home is welcoming & safe
8. ensures her family meals are healthy & nutritious
9. when she is looking to meet & settle with a partner, she does her level best to observe his ways before she gets involved.

10. she doesn't necessarily dismiss a man,  because he is not as educated - or as wealthy has she is,  she instead looks at the potential in the man, & notes if he is willing to achieve his potential.
11. & if he is - she gently, but surely helps him.

12. she makes her husband & children a priority as opposed to friends & non- progressive commitments
13 she's not afraid of her sexuality with her partner , yet she remains un- promiscuous
14 she realises that each & every African she comes into contact with is a member of her larger family & so greets, respects,  & assists  accordingly.

And the best thing is these qualites can come about, almost effortlessly from an Afri/Afro woman because I believe we posses them quite naturally. some of us just need to exercise them a little more often

I could go on , but I'm running out of paper

Thanks Oziomatv

Obviously your enjoying your mixed relationship , which is gr8 , can  I just ask, do you feel that either of you, have had to make any significant compromises,  during / or because of your relationship?  just curious 

Pls!!!! I don't think there's any contest  - kelly comes up trumps everytime  , if your into natural'ness that is -

a beautiful face
beautiful voice, & not to mention a natural figure too,  perhaps a little skinny but that's show business , isnt it.

don't get me wrong beyonce is def saying 1!!! but kelly takes the prize

had to laugh at some of the comments , ( who said ignorance is bliss)

Being a Jamaican female ,  I can definitely state without any doubt that a good Jamaican man and there are "many" are like like diamond ,  you can not fault them,  they will move heaven & earth for their women & will give you everything they have & find the rest , if they had too.

doesn't matter if your an African female as long as he's introduced you ,  to family/friends as his woman.  its a done deal.

Only a few "Don'ts "  do not get involved with any that smoke weed they are short changing themselves ,  & so  then you will be short changed also.

Don't  hold out on them with  sex  (unless you are genuinely ill). because the majority will go elswhere.

& as long as your loving in nature which shouldn't be too difficult, because they are loveable creatures  you'll have the best experience ever ,
be prepared for lots of jokes , cos in your company , they'll love to clown about, & make you happy.

has for the rumors of woman beaters & cutlass swingers their whats known in "any game" as lunatics , & yeh I'd recommend  that you stay away from them too.

he's older than you ,  & you sound responsible  (for a 25 yr old) so you must have seen some good in him , I think you'll OK 

thank you so much for your responses

@Seun  He's not my BF,  he's someone that I know through work, I like him an awful lot, &  I 'know' the "feeling" is mutual.
you've pointed out ( quite rightly ) that we are both " Afro Euro" ( to coin a phrase) but having acknowledged this. I still feel that I need to take each of our "Birth Cultures" into consideration,  particularly as some time in the future ,  its my intention to emigrate to much warmer climes.

The prob is - in the past I dated for a few months a Nigerian guy, who himself whilst we dated couldn't do enough for me he was extremely attentive,  & I couldn't fault him in the way he treated me. however whilst I got on extremely well with his male friends. whenever we went anywhere amongest Nigerian folks  ( he took me to a lot of places) ,  I got nothing but evils (looks) from  Nigerian women.  which I couldn't (fully) understand because I believe  no matter where in the world we come from we are all African regardless of origin/tribe.

And  I wonder if I were to enter a relationship. could I ever be fully accepted ,  I don't know if I would,  & for the record yes!!! I do think family & community acceptance is important. contrary to what other ppl may think these days
Also theres this element that's always lurking as to , women that are non-Nigerian, should be just seen as fun! ?  I can honesty say that 99.5% of Jamaican men feel this way re non- Jamaican women. although, perhaps being more genuine, if the female is still afro/afri origin.
Does this mode of thinking apply to a UK Niger male?

@Oziomatv " Bad Culture"  did I ask for that, pls , don't stereotype,  Nigerians or Jamaicans. lol

But yeah,  the rest is Goodluck

, I guess I'm just fishing around now& asking before the event , as opposed to 6mths down the line  when I'm hook line & sinker
oh , & r.e his tribe - I think its Igbo.

Thanks for your reply Seun  
I've just spent the last 15 mins  typing a reply, but it disappeared when pressed send  (i'll get used to this board yet!!  (but out of time now, so will come back later)

@Anusule ,  why do you say wrong?

thanks Oephius, I came across the "button" this morning

Hi everyone  I'm new to the forum ,  I think its a gr8 place & would appreciate  your comments

I met a Nigerian Guy  2.1/2 yrs ago that I'm reallllly do like , in fact I think I'm in love!!

the this issue  is  - although we're both over 35 & born in the UK.  I'm Jamaican by birth parents & obviously culture.   Can you forsee any future probs (cultural or otherwise)  we are both  financial secure , so financial gain ( either way ) is not an issue .

my Que is can you forsee any probs that I cant

Hi

came across this site a few months ago,  popped in & everyone seemed to be having fun!!!   so, came back & joined.

only prob cant seem to find the post button. yea! I know I'm prob looking at it now,   

could somebody give me directions (pls),  look forward to mingling!!!