₦airaland Forum

APC voted for Buhari but Nigeria appointed AjALA over night change

did someone just call $1bn ordinary?

Please include bread and beans

Is this another style of stealing

bad market

talk2archy:
Ur woman not ur wife, my wife is in possesion of my atm, though she knows d security tips but only one bank oo

I understand you.

You gave her the ATM card of the bank where you keep change..

SIRKAY98:
why?

You know you cannot ask a dog to look after a soft bone....
Moreover women know all the devices that has something to do with money and they are only creature that knows the total number of ATMs in any area they reside... even the inventor of ATM can not operate it up to them

Rubbish! my name is not there

lastly... don't ever give a woman your ATM card to hold for u

this write up is more than biology text book

Please summarise it for people that does not have time to read long story like me

for nowadays women! Please remove 1 and 4.. plus the food the writer is talking about is INDOMIE AND EGG

Continue traveling... we are only waiting for four years

wrong place to upload this kind of pics
from her makeup to her legs hmmm..

[quote author=Raymondenyi post=43635855]Please modify your post, and try to improve on your written English, it is appalling to say the least, re-read your post, try to make necessary edition, present it more lucid and comprehensible for readers to offer their advice which you direly seek....


You sound like an English teacher who can identify all the tenses in people's problem but lack the ability to see his/her problem...

I guess if you are TY Belo you won't call on the bread seller bcus she can't speak and write foreign language

[quote author=Raymondenyi post=43646155]you really need help, if you lack in English language, you should seek help..... This isn't a classroom and I'll not waste my time on a kid that knows nothing putting you through written English.....


I thought you said you won't reciprocate..... You have issue Sorry issues more than the lady.. all advice on this post goes to you....

This only happen in our home videos

Later una go say make I no laugh ;Dlater una go say make I no laugh

nko mbe (something Dey happen) Let just see where we are going to land after four years

stupidity can never seize in this country





we are chasing those who dupe toothpick from others ($1000) and cannot do anything to people who stole our country (politicians)

they are following the foot steps of their leaders

I don't if am the only one who don't have time to be reading long story about our dear country.





But I won't mind to read the longest story if the subjects are
#1 = $1
New fuel price #50
No more stamp charge of #50
Pure water prise back to #5
Jamb result last for three year.
Universities are bound from going on unnecessary strike




God help Nigeria. God bless Nigeria

rychard:
I heard to retrieve the phones of my junior sister and restrcited the number of hours spent in front of the television, past questions, lessons and late night reading and practice. She wrote exam same date and smashed 285, I don't know where all this jamb cheat me and solidarity chants are coming from. The truth is most young people spend a whole lot of their time on the internet and social media, doing crap, they need to plan their time well, notwithstanding it's possible there were some errors but how come some people passed, and of course many are just be looking for justifications for their awful performance

Mr and Mrs.. Please read carefully.. your son/bro getting good score doesn't mean the70% complaining did not read and study... for jamb to start giving out free 40 additional mark, something went wrong..

well!
those breast has fallen apart - Chiwe Achebe

Don't really know if Mercy's curve is curve 7 or curve 8








Mr IBU still look d same even after been serious

no time to read the super story all I know is change is changing all of us

Pleas which branch of waec can someone collect the original certificate of waec written around ajegunle and orile

Them don dey come one by one




Start making up ur mind for 2019
Dem go chop APC eyes

My first word Hmmmm!
Google can remember
So ask google

How to Be a Clueless President, By Femi Aribisala
In six years of Goodluck Jonathan’s presidency, the opposition told us again and again the man was “clueless.” It made sure the tag stuck to him like glue. But now we have a new sheriff in town, with the APC claiming to be better at everything than the PDP. While that might still be subject to debate, there is overwhelming evidence that in the cluelessness department, the PDP is certainly no match for the APC.
Here is a compendium from the APC textbook of cluelessness, provided within barely one year in office. If you want to know how to be a clueless president, this is the APC blueprint.
Blame Game
Instead of giving Nigerians the change you championed, give them excuses. Blame Goodluck Jonathan for everything, including the harmattan. Whenever you make a blunder, pass the buck to the former president. If there is petrol shortage, blame it on Goodluck Jonathan. If the budget is dead on arrival, blame it on Goodluck Jonathan.
In the middle of an economic crisis, promise to provide Nigerians with free education; free meals daily for millions of Nigerian public school-children; free tertiary education; free health-care and free houses. Facing a drastic drop in Nigeria’s income, declare you will be giving grants of $1.5 billion a year to Nigeria’s poor. When you fail to deliver on any on these highfalutin promises, blame it quickly on Goodluck Jonathan.
Blunders
Forget the name of you vice-presidential running-mate. Call him Yemi Osunbade instead of Yemi Osinbajo. Tell President Obama the name of your political party is the All Nigeria’s Peoples’ Congress when it is All Progressives Congress. Call your party on CNN the All Progressives Confidence.
Tell Al Jazeera INEC means Independent Nigerian Electoral Commission instead of Independent National Electoral Commission. Even though West Germany ceased to exist in 1999 and the current German president is Joachim Gauck, refer to German Chancellor, Angela Merkel as “President Michelle of West Germany.”
Destroy INEC by turning it into a National Commission for Inconclusive Elections. Go to the United Nations and give rousing speech about fighting Boko Haram, then fail to attend the crucial meeting on Boko Haram at the same U.N. session. Tell the Americans the Chibok girls were abducted from their “hotels” instead of their “hostels.”
Tell Nigerians there is nothing like petroleum subsidy. Then as president, announce the removal of the non-existent petroleum subsidy. Claim Jonathan diverted $700 million from the $1.1 billion Chinese loan for the Lagos/Kano rail project when only $400 million was earmarked for Lagos/Kano rail. Announce that foreign exchange can now be paid into domiciliary accounts without specifying if depositors will be allowed to withdraw them.
Anti-corruption rigmarole
Declare that you will kill corruption in Nigeria while being surrounded and bankrolled by corrupt politicians. Then invite those with corruption allegations hanging over their heads into your cabinet. Maintain: “Jonathan’s ministers stole 150 billion dollars.” But fail to prosecute them for stealing $150 billion. Tell Nigerians $2.5 billion was stolen by the PDP through Dasukigate, but charge people to court for stealing no more than $100 million.
Believe that trying members of the PDP for corruption on the pages of newspapers amounts to waging a serious war on corruption and is a substitute for national economic policy. Say: “We cannot build an economy where corruption is the working capital.” Then declare to no effect that recovered stolen monies will be used to revamp the national economy.
Insist Abacha never stole any money, and then probe the PDP for the mismanagement of the non-existent Abacha loot recovered from abroad. Fail to recognise that with the official exchange-rate at N198 to $1, while the parallel market rate is $305 to $1, you have created the widest parallel market margin ever recorded in Nigeria’s history of Nigeria and laid the foundation for widespread corruption in the banks.
Accuse the opposition of using public funds to finance its election campaign, but fail to disclose where you got the money to finance your own very expensive election campaign. Claim to be so cash-strapped, you had to borrow N27.5 million to pay for the presidential nomination papers of your party; then state in your assets declaration that you have N30 million in your bank account. Commend INEC for running the ostensibly free and fair election that brought you to power; then challenge in court every election conducted by the same INEC that your party lost.
Contradictions
Claim you inherited an empty treasury in spite of the over $30 billion left in our foreign reserves. Say you met no money in the treasury, then spend N2.2 billion on a four-day junket to the U.S. with no agenda and with nothing achieved.
Say: the federal government of Nigeria is: “the biggest Boko Haram.” Then become the head of the federal government of Nigeria. Declare grandiloquently: “I belong to everybody and I belong to nobody.” Then say: “The constituents (that) gave me 97 percent cannot in all honesty be treated on some issues with constituencies that gave me 5 percent.” Say you belong to everybody but ensure that your personal aides are virtually all Northerners.
Say: “I bear no ill will against anyone on past events. Nobody should fear anything from me. We are not after anyone.” “There will be no paying off old scores. The past is prologue.” Then send EFCC dogs after Elder Godsday Erubebe.
Say: “I pledge myself and the government to the rule of law, in which none shall be so above the law that they are not subject to its dictates, and none shall be so below it that they are not availed of its protection.” Then seek to replace the rule of law with the rule of fear. Go on national television and tell Nigerians you will not be obeying the courts in the cases of Dasuki and Kanu. Interfere in the judicial process by publicly declaring your enemies guilty without trial.
Tell Christiane Amanpour on CNN that you will defeat Boko Haram within two months if elected. Then say you did not say so. Declare that you will defeat Boko Haram by the end of December 2015, then say you only meant to defeat it “technically” after it unleashes mayhem on Maiduguri while you were busy celebrating its fictional defeat.
Say: “Boko Haram is a typical example of small fires causing large fires. An eccentric and unorthodox preacher with a tiny following was given posthumous fame and following by his extra judicial murder at the hands of the police.” Then send troops to massacre hundreds of Shiites in Zaria. Involve Nigeria in a Middle Eastern regional struggle between Saudi Arabia and Iran by joining the Saudi led anti-terrorist coalition. Open the door for wider terrorist attacks on Nigeria by killing Shi’ites in the North while the Saudis execute Shi’ite mullahs and prisoners in Saudi Arabia.
Prosecute avoidable wars on several home-fronts: against Boko Haramites in the North-East; Shi’ites in the North-West; Biafrans in the South-East; and Niger Deltans in the South-South.
Nonsensical policies
Grind the country to a halt by making yourself Sole Administrator of Nigeria for six months. Squander your vital first 100 days in office doing absolutely nothing; while receiving cheers as “Baba Go-Slow.” Present “body language” as a substitute for policy. Ensure that over N5 trillion is wiped off the Nigerian Stock Exchange within six months of your coming to office.
Promise: “I will stabilise global oil price.” Then watch as the oil price tumbles from $50 to $28 within eight months of your presidency. Also ball-watch as the naira tumbles to a record-breaking N305 to one dollar.
Declare when the country is broke: “I will provide one meal a day for children in public primary schools.” “I will make direct cash transfer of 5,000 naira to the 25 million poorest and most vulnerable citizens.” Propose through your Minister of Science Fiction to create 3.4 million jobs in Nigeria in 2016 through the production of pencils. Plan to have 365 cultural festivals 365 days a year under your Ministry of Culture.
Shout “chanji, chanji” while a large chunk of your party-members are turncoats from the same PDP that ruled the country for the last 16 years. Refer to ministers as noisemakers then establish a Cabinet of ministers. Take six months to choose a cabinet then come out with old cargoes. Tell Nigerians you delayed appointing ministers because you were looking for saints and angels, then appoint many known devils. Say: “The corrupt will not be appointed into my administration.” Then appoint those with corruption allegations hanging over their heads.
Delight in putting square pegs in round holes. Make Kayode Fayemi, who has a Ph.D. in War Studies, Minister for Solid Minerals instead of Minister of Foreign Affairs. Make Professor Anthony Anwukah, a professor of Education and a former vice-chancellor a Junior Minister to a journalist, Adamu Adamu, in the Ministry of Education. Make Solomon Dalong, a former Assistant Inspector of Prisons the Minister of Youth Affairs and Sports. Make Muhammadu Bello, who headed the National Hajj Commission for eight years, FCT Minister.
Budgeting
Propose a N6 trillion budget in 2016 for a nation that failed to meet revenue estimates of N4 trillion in 2015. Predicate this on borrowing N2.2 trillion, which requires N1.2 billion daily to service.
Benchmark your budget on the price of oil being $38 in 2016, making it dead on arrival with the oil price falling to $28 within a fortnight of your budget presentation. Fail to anticipate that, once sanctions against Iran are lifted, the oil price will go further down as Iranian oil is added to the international oil glut. Allocate N40 billion to look for oil in the North-East in the middle of an oil glut when Nigeria needs to diversify from oil.
Within the framework of a drastic cut in Nigeria’s income, raise the budget for Aso Rock from N6.6 billion in 2015 to N18 billion in 2016. Earmark N3.6 billion for the purchase of several BMW saloon cars! Budget N1.75 billion for feeding in Aso Rock in 2016 when Jonathan only budgeted N530 million in 2015. Allocate only N29 billion to the Ministry of Agriculture, while earmarking N39 billion for the Ministry of Information and Culture.
Present the budget to the National Assembly without first scrutinising it. Present the budget with fanfare, then send someone to steal it from the National Assembly. Present the budget, then withdraw it after reading it. Remember this: when the budget fails, blame it on Goodluck Jonathan!
www.femiaribisala.comHow to Be a Clueless President, By Femi Aribisala

Unilag! Hmmmm
Let me continue reading pple comment

it better to read comment than to be stressing my eyes

Hmmmm
sorry for those that lost their virginity for iphon 6 ;