₦airaland Forum

Joromi12:
fornication no be sin My ex in 2015 came back 4 months to fuk me. We dated for 2 years and did it raw belle never entered. She put d pregnancy on me but out of fear of parents knowing. She sha went for abortion. The doctor her friend linked her did not tell us his location but was giving directions. From igando we entered boat to ogun . Totowu. The guy was a quack nurse. 3 weeks later d babe still dey bleed she almost died and went to her family doc. That one redid the stuff and she was free(tissues were in her womb). For 3 years i was scared she will be barren. She later got married last year and had twins. She is happy now. I am happy. An unwanted child ruins lives

we have two types of sin in Catholic, fornication is among the venial sin, it can be forgiven, but a mortal sin is opting ourselves straight to hell with blood in your hands

I learnt another lesson from your experience now, what if she had died, then what will she tell God, or if she was barren it would have forever hunted her and made her so depressed not everyone will be lucky to survive the experience unharmed,

I guess she was given a second chance to reform, thanks for sharing and making me to be more determined

Obodo999:
You have lost my emphaty with this needless generalisation. I am not the one that got you pregnant and I am not heartless.

sorry for that, I guess it's frustration that caused it

blackgold2018:
If I tell his parents that will mean marriage"
How are you sure about that. 21 century mumu. Ewu

may God bless you

stinflame:
.

Not at all , make sure u put ur focus on a business or ur career while in... My dear, abortion isn't the option oo, it's better u know u end up In his house than with the thought of having aborted. Sadly enough ladies easily let it out unknownly to their new partner, most partners will simply walk out of the relationship.

thanks, you are so right

J111333:
Please never you consider an abortion. Even if you don't need the child, give birth and put it up for adoption. I personally am interested, just pm. I can even pay you all the necessary inconveniences if requested just for you to keep that innocent child alive.

NB: I'm very very serious about the adoption and necessary inconvenience pay.

thanks, I would put that into consideration

emmanuelpopson:
best advice ever take after this advice and live your life..he can come back for his baby later... you can still find love again.

i pray so, because I don't believe in love again, I guess it's overrated

stinflame:
My dear u better involve his parents, what do u mean mean by loveless marriage... Grab that guy and make him ur husband.. They are two ways and he just choiced the illegal way.. Be soft and thats ur concern.

husband, don't you think he will use marriage as a means to frustrate me,
Thanks

YOUNGELDER1:
Did done already.
Babies are blessings but trust me you don’t want to go through all that without his support or the support of both families.


You scared of abortion & yet having unprotected sex no plan b noting..

i understand you, but it just that one time I didn't take the drugs, biggest mistake of my life,

I pray for God's guidance

ustanejnr:
Don't forget I have a baby from my lover, when the preg thing happen and she said" I can't abort it".I told her follow ur heart and I will stand by it.

Sweetheart people will support you hear on nairaland, but the won't be there to play a man role during your pregnancy and after child birth. You will carry your cross alone.

As I said its your life, it's your future in your hands. God will help us. But just reason as an unbeliever in some situations.

i understand completely, thanks a lot

ustanejnr:
And you r not a good religious girl. Am not trying to accuse you, but my dear a good religious girl should be a virgin.

do you know if I was one when I met him, I understand your point though

ustanejnr:
Hmm, You know the truth in Africa we r too religious we forget the reality of life that's why Africa is poor. We pray for everything.

lol, that's definitely true, but religion is already ingrained in us, you can't just stop

molybdenum0012:
You have two options here: abort the baby or keep it.

Just as some people have said here, I would not advice you to abort the baby. It should be a personal decision. If you are going to do that you should be ready to face the consequence. However, if you do it and it is successful, you will still go back to the guy for sure and you will not learn any lesson. If it is not successful, you will have learnt the biggest lesson of your life.


Now, assuming you keep the baby, you will also learn a great lesson 'cos the guy will not show you care and love when you need it most. You will feel lonely and bitter. You will hate yourself so much. You may even transfer that hatred towards the child. I must be honest with you, it is not an easy journey.

Besides, you will become a single mother and naturally the number of young, single guys that will be interested in marrying you will decline at an alarming rate. It is the part of the consequence you will face for keeping the baby.

So brace up and face the consequence- it will not kill you, it will make you stronger!

i guess it's as honest as it would get, I made my bed so I need to lie on it, killing an innocent child is a no no for me, so I believe that I have to face the consequences,
Thanks

SmellingAnus:
Lol... That's how the second one comes... Besides... A time will come you will be the one to demand for the second one... Even when he will not marry you... Don't mind me, some things may be too deep for your age now so let's focus on the present... You actually need a guide in your life that will correct you or point out to you when you are wrong and that will advice you on how to go about things generally if not I am afraid , just update me on how it goes .. I am interested in your matter...

i guess you are right, but I can't tell any of my family members now, I guess with time I will find a guide,
Thanks

dododawa1:
See below

you haven't even seen the videos then that's when you won't even think about abortion, it looks so sad

ustanejnr:
My dear, it's your life, it's your future." Life is what you make out of it".I have a 3years plus baby from a girl friend I love so much. But in your case, answer this question and get sense. Do you think you will have the support from him or his or your family members to raise this innocent soul or do you think this will be a setback in your career or education?
Na you matter pass for now, then the child follow. E go be president tomorrow, so what if na arm robber tomorrow. We live on assumptions.
"LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OUT OF IT "

i know that it would definitely be a set back for me, but the issue here is that I can't go through that process, it will guilt ridden me in future and I don't want any blood on my hands

I know say no me first, but I can't live with myself if I do that, I guess I'm too much of a good religious girl

SmellingAnus:
that he is the only son or child doesn't mean the family will be willing to accept you or the pregnancy... But if you are fortunate... They may decide to play a financial role in the bringing up of the child... As of marriage... He doesn't love you enough to marry you so that one you are saying that you don't want to get into a loveless marriage is only self consolation... One thing that is most likely to happen is that after the birth of the child, it's only a matter of months or years before he comes back to his senses at least to play a fatherly role even if he will not marry you... From there the second child can come in .. Lol

Sorry for typos

I really am not thinking about marriage now, I just want him receive sense and acknowledge that it's a baby we are talking about, his own blood and not a disposable thing,

I'm still facing the first one and you are wishing me the second one, lol

flokii:
Eyah.. lover gurl

I won't advise anyone to abort cos it's very risky. You can keep the child if you can raise the baby with support from family members

Thanks

YOUNGELDER1:
Good advice but is it that easy to raise a child without the support of the father?
What if her parents decides not to support or disown her?
I will advice you try to sort things out with your man and come to reasonable solution.

reasonable solution like what pls, because the only thing he is talking about is how to take me to a doctor for the abortion, no that's not what I want
Thanks

flokii:
When will you girls have sense??

She is even claiming love after the guy has denied her a.ss.. smh

Abortion means you want to put your life on the life.. if you die, it's your doing. Best of luck!

i guess you haven't loved before or else you would understand that it just doesn't go away in a day or two

TheCar:
To be blunt with you, you get it ALL wrong from the beginning.

I have to read your previous thread to have some basic understanding and some information.

IT WAS NEVER YOUR DUTY TO SATISFY HIM SEXUALLY JUST BECAUSE HE CLAIMED TO HAVE HIGH LIBIDO.

Maybe if you had listened to some of the advise given to you earlier in your previous thread, this wouldn't have happen. Maybe when you broke up with him, you should have stood your ground.

But what will happen, will definitely happen.

NOW YOU ARE PREGNANT. I wouldn't support "Abortion" and I wouldn't encourage a man that his not ready to marry you be forced to because of your pregnancy.

There is always a consequence for every action, So I did suggest It is time for you to (WO)MAN UP and take charge of your life. You didn't say if you are a student or working, but YOU NEED TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY since it is obvious from your narration, "HE ONLY WANT SEX" not the result of SEX.

Now that you have the result of having unprotected sex, you need to take charge. DON'T ABORT & NEVER FORCE HIM INTO MARRIAGE.

If you can, I would suggest you keep the baby. It wouldn't be easy, but in the long run that would be the best decision for you.

Any short cut you are considering (ABORTION or LOVELESS MARRIAGE) would be a terrible choice.

If you choose, to go ahead to have the baby and raise the child by yourself, It wouldn't be easy, you would be stigmatized but you would survive and hopeful you had LEARNT YOUR LESSON.

ALL HE EVER WANTED FROM YOU IS SEX, YOU HAVE GIVEN HIM & HE HIS NOT READY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. YOU CAN'T FORCE HIM TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN "PHYSICAL & MENTAL WELL BEING" IN THE FUTURE.

The best way is the hard way. Take charge, let his people know he his responsible but NEVER EVER AGREE TO ABORT THE BABY OR ENTER INTO A FORCE MARRIAGE.

Also let your parent know, they would be highly disappointed but it has happened already, with time they would adjust but you need to double your hustle.

you are absolutely right, but I guess when they say that love is blind they also forgot to tell us that it make one lose their brains completely, I guess I am among the people that love too much, if it's a crime sue me

My greatest regret was going back to him after I broke up with him, I guess I was already in love with him then, and the mistake has been made

What is annoying me most is that he knows my stand on abortion, I always tell him that I'm never going to do it.

I don't plan to marry him, he has broken my heart beyond repair, so we can't go back to the way we were before

I guess it's now me and my baby, but he would have to provide care for he or she, after all I didn't get myself pregnant
Thanks for your advice

Ejusni:
Please don't have an abortion please.....so.many people out there want children but can't, yet God blessed you with a wonderful pregnancy, it doesn't matter how it was conceived....that child that might be the future of this country,r he star if his generation...never abort, besides the dude who got you pregnant is immature it seems he was with you just for the bleeps.

you are right, I know some of my relatives that have been praying for a child and he expects me to kill the one God bless me with, I can't even do that,
If you have sex you need to know that there are risks Involved, so he should man up and take responsibility, thanks

2special:
and you also involve your own family members while going.

i don't know how his family would react, I really don't want my family to know till I sort it out with his, thanks

Benekruku:
Their cant be complications. Abortion and chile delivery have gone past those ages when one is scared about complications or side effects.

You just need to be in the right hospital with the right doctors. Its like ABC.

And you wont have the guilt of bring a child that wont have an idea of what fatherly love is? That probably will grow up with a step dad.



And we just talking about the yet to be formed baby here, How about her own future. Her mental state and psych. She is human too and deserves a life of her own without hinderances or set-backs

I guess that's true, but I believe that abortion is a mortal sin, and I have a feeling something would go wrong, I refused to listen to my instincts telling me to take the drugs now look at where I am now, I'm really scared. Thanks

Amakavula:
Don't insult her, just give advice. she needs support now not scoring, learn to have empathy.

thanks sis

oluwadamilolah:
Don't abort the baby, keep the baby and raise him/her on your own. Since he doesn't love you let him be, it's a very sad thing to be in a loveless marriage. He might realize he's mistakes and makes amends later you never can tell.

I don't want him again, I just want him to man up and take responsibility for his child, after all he was the one that always wanted it raw, thanks

Benekruku:
Go for an abortion and move-on

The baby will set you back, considering you wont be married and will be a single parent. Am believing you a student or career lady.

Just be brave and go for it. The future is now. If you bring in what you not ready for now, It will hunt you in the future.

The lines show that neither the guy nor you wants it

Thank me later

what if they are complications and I can't give birth later, I will be the one to bear it while he carry on with his life, and how do girls who commit abortion live with the guilt of killing a child u conceived, I'm not sure I can go through it. Thanks

Benekruku:
Go for an abortion and move-on

The baby will set you back, considering you wont be married and will be a single parent. Am believing you a student or career lady.

Just be brave and go for it. The future is now. If you bring in what you not ready for now, It will hunt you in the future.

The lines show that neither the guy nor you wants it

Thank me later

what if they are complications and I can't give birth later, I will be the one to bear it while he carry on with his life, and how do girls who commit abortion live with the guilt of killing a child u conceived, I'm not sure I can go through it. Thanks

Deepfeel:
You don't have to marry him, tell his parents and keep the baby, no one will force you to marry him, at least his parents will be paying for child support even if the guy doesn't want

thats true, marriage is the last thing on my mind since he treated me badly, he just need to take care of his child, thanks

Exactly, his family would accept me since he is even the only son, they aren't doing bad, so the cost to take care of the baby isn't the issue,
I don't want to bring my parents into it till I see his parents first, I can't believe that some guys can be so heartless

Amakavula:
Tell his parents! clearly it's the only leverage you have now. don't let him and his sister treat you as a back alley slutt. you deserve better.

I would suggest you tell both his parents and yours so some sort if agreement could be reach about the future of the baby.

But you should also consider that single parenting is hard, and cost intensive.

And that BF of yours wouldn't be contributing anytime soon, please don't let your life be tired down by this if you feel you aren't ready for a child, go for an abortion.

But if you can afford the cost , it's better to keep the child.

Thanks a lot, I'm in my early 20s and I know that if I abort it will hunt me for life, I really don't want to live that way

prettyem:
Op, have you told any one in your family? I think you should as you would need some 'strength' from them during the pregnancy journey because i will advise you to keep your baby regardless...

Gone are the days when single mothers find it hard to settle down; i know a handful of ladies in their late 30s& unmarried whose major regret is aborting their unborn for whatever reason.

Besides there are other options, you can visit a counselor, motherless homes and speak with whoever is in charge, get further details and know your options.
I wish you strength and grace for the journey ahead.

As for d guy, don't let him coerce you to doing it, cos you'd bear the pains (psychological,mental, social,spiritual etc) alone...for the now my lady, PLEASE DO ALL YOU CAN TO KEEP YOUR BABY

I'm just giving him today to decide before seeing his parents, thanks

2special:
The earlier you inform and involve his family the better, pls keep the child and go for the DNA test.

I didn't like your earlier words but what you said later made sense, thanks

phelonrays:
....did I hear loveless??.........so you were just there to satisfy him whenever he's on heat ..... To him you were just like an "Evening Newspaper" .......... Cause I don't see reasons why you would be opening your God-most-cherished "KPEKUS" every now and then to a bloke who doesn't appreciate your alignment in his life.....I mean without protection?... Your life your choice tho .................____but you see that baby... if you wanna live a ghost/fright free life.... please let the innocent child inhale the air of freedom...... Abortion is not the Answer to you life right now...... admit that you have failed __but someday you shall live to testify......
The guy would try to convince you... but tell him the truth.... be ready to face the consequences .....carrying his own baby doesn't guarantee marriage...... it was just a mistake.... let it be as it was.... don't allow anybody to force you to an unlawful marriage.....

Again DON'T TRY TO ABORT THE INNOCENT CHILD ..........
am off_____