jokes of the century

he who laugh last laugh best


6 days for a theif 1 day for yawa

forget my guy!


if N100,000.00 is credited to your account nw, you ll be the one to preach against suicide







NL I lie?

I trust Nigeria police

u must bail urself

who ll marry our plenty girls

sleepless nights is what joblessness can cause

when military is compromised a nation is doom










I stand to be corrected!

front page seeker

the truth is after that event no love till death

I will moderate other moderators

when ll HND form close?

if that man was a nairalander this couldn't ve happen




my opinion

negligence

Hello friends, please is it better to send CVs in
Pdf or word format when applying for jobs
online. Pls which is better out the 2 formats? I
need urgent reply. Thanks for ur response

Hello friends, please is it better to send CVs in
Pdf or word format when applying for jobs
online. Please which is better out the 2 formats? I
need urgent reply. Thanks for your response

LAGOS—Controversy is currently trailing the
death of a housewife, Joy Bakare, 35, after she
gave birth on Aya-Oye Street, Ejiigbo, a suburb
of Lagos.
The housewife reportedly died mysteriously a
few days after she was delivered of a set of
twins.
It was alleged that after she got pregnant, her
married lover, identified simply as Fatai, took
her to the home of a single mother (names
withheld) in Aya-Oye Street, Ejigbo, to cover up
the shame.
Vanguard learned that Joy already had three
children from her estranged husband who
resides in Surulere area before she became
pregnant for Fatai who resides at Abaranje in
Ikotun area.
It was gathered that a few days after she was
delivered of the babies in a hospital and was
brought back to the woman’s flat, she was
found dead after foaming from her mouth on a
bed in one of the rooms in the flat.
A neighbour, Iya Kubirat, who spoke to
Vanguard, said: “I can’t say what was
responsible for her death because the incident
occurred a few days after she was delivered of
the babies in a hospital and was brought back
to the woman’s flat. She was found dead,
foaming in her mouth on top of a bed in one of
the rooms in the flat.
“When the woman who harboured her in the flat
heard the babies crying, she went to Joy’s room
to find out what was happening only to
discover that Joy was dead. She raised an
alarm which attracted neighbours. I was among
the people who rushed to the flat. The cause of
Joy’s death could not be immediately
ascertained as there was no report of autopsy
from any doctor.”
However, trouble started after the woman who
harboured Joy contacted her husband and
family members and they rejected her corpse.
She then contacted Fatai who later went to the
place and also refused to take responsibility for
her burial.
It was gathered that Fatai explained that he did
not marry her as his wife and as such, would
not accept the corpse for burial, even though he
was the father of the twins.
The deceased’s corpse was later deposited at
Isolo General Hospital mortuary after Joy’s
elder sister arrived.
Meanwhile, the twin babies were handed over
to Fatai who took them to his house at Ikotun.

my head carry fire ministry

agbo lived in the town of lagoon whoc is not far from Ibadan, he went to primary school he was in primary 4, one day agbo woke up very late..................





can't believe I can read that far after 24 yrs

na joke oooo


mod pls take this to JOKE Forum

must u call names, did Jesus list d names of false prophet, pls list them for nairalander to know

President Muhammadu Buhari on Monday
promised that his administration would give
the highest possible priority to the rapid
improvement of power supply across the
country.
According to a statement by his Special
Adviser on Media and Publicity, Mr. Femi
Adesina, the President spoke while granting
audience to officials of CGGC, the Chinese
construction company working on the
Mambilla Power Project.
Adesina quoted the President as saying that
it was quite regrettable that power generation
in the country had failed to keep pace with
national needs over the years.
To salvage the situation, Buhari said his
administration would ensure that the
Mambilla project and other unfinished hydro-
power projects in the country were completed
expeditiously in order to boost electricity
supply in the country.
He was quoted as saying, “I am very much
interested in Mambilla and other hydro-power
projects, not only for the improvement of
power, but also for irrigation, as both power
and irrigation projects will help to improve
the lives of Nigerians.
“I am going to ask for details of the
Mambilla hydro-power project and others.
Very soon, we will get together and redefine
the project agreements for faster results.”
The Managing Director, CGGC, Mr. Zhang
Heng, who led his company’s delegation, was
also reported to have told the President that
work on the Mambilla project was being
delayed by the failure of previous
administrations to provide the counterpart
funding specified in the agreement with the
Chinese government.
The CGGC delegation was accompanied to the
Presidential Villa by Governor Abdulaziz Yari
of Zamfara State.




PUNCH

I wanted to buy a shirt for 50k, So I borrowed
25k from mum and 25 from dad. When I went to
buy it, I bought it for 45k meaning I am left wit
5k.
Now, I gave 1k back to my mom and 1k to my
dad, I am now left with 3k.
Now I owe my parent 24k each, Now 24+24 =
48k + 3k (which I have left) = 51k now where
did the 1k' come from since I only had 50k

On lighter but serious note list Four Nigerians
that u know and believe can lead Nigeria better
after President Buhari, They need not be in the order of
prefrence.


here are mine.
1. Adams Oshiomole
2. Mallam El -Rufai
3. Nuhu Ribadu
4. Gani Fawehinmi





feel free to add yours!

.......Loading......

I'm just thinking jare no mind me. I beg

A book claiming to be the world's first 'gay
bible' has been published to coincide with the
debate on same-sex marriage.
Titled the 'Queen James Bible', its editors
claim that it is a re-working of the King
James Bible translated in a way that 'prevents
homophobic misinterpretation of God's Word'.
'Homosexuality was first overtly mentioned in
the Bible in 1946 in the Revised Standard
Version. There is no mention of or reference to
homosexuality in any Bible prior to this – only
interpretations have been made', the book's
official website said.
The publication, printed and bound in the U.S.
is timed to coincide with the current debate
over same-sex marriage.
The sales pitch on the website says: 'You
can’t choose your sexuality, but you can
choose Jesus. Now you can choose a Bible,
too'.
The book is on sale online but does not
advertise its origins, with no specific
publisher, editor or translator listed by name
on it's offical website. 'God' is listed as the
author and 'Jesus Christ' a contributor.
Douglas J. Moo, Wessner Chair of Biblical
Studies at Wheaton College and a professional
Bible translator, told The Christian Post that
the Queen James editors' assessment of past
translations is not entirely accurate.
'Few, if any English translations use the actual
words 'homosexuality' or 'homosexual.' But
the history of English translation shows that
versions have consistently used other
language to refer to what we would call
homosexual relationships', said Mr Moo.
'For instance, the King James Version of
Romans 1:27 refers to 'men, leaving the
natural use of the woman, burned in their lust
one toward another; men with men working
that which is unseemly.
'It would be very difficult to deny that this
language, and the language found in many
other places in both the OT and the NT, refers
to homosexuality.'
A Vicar in New Zealand, meanwhile, has
caused outrage by putting up a poster outside
his church in Auckland, New Zealand, that
claims Jesus was gay.
'It's Christmas. Time for Jesus to come out',
the sign proclaims, with an image of baby
Jesus as a toddler in a manger, surrounded by
a rainbow halo.
Reverend Glynn Cardy of St Matthew in the
City church, said that, as homosexuality was
not a word until the 1800s, any mention of it
in the Bible or other documents would have
mistranslations.
KING V QUEEN: BIBLES COMPARED
Queen James Bible
Genesis 19:5 (King James)
'And they called unto Lot, and said unto him,
Where are the men which came in to thee this
night? Bring them out unto us, that we may
know them.'
Genesis 19:5 (Queen James)
'And they called unto Lot, and said unto him,
Where are the men which came in to thee this
night? Bring them out unto us, that we may rape
and humiliate them'
Timothy 1:10 (King James)
'For whoremongers, for them that defile
themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for
liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any
other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine'
Timothy 1:10 (Queen James)
'For whoremongers, for them that defile
themselves, for menstealers, for liars, for
perjured persons, and if there be any other thing
that is contrary to sound doctrine'
Jude 1:7 (King James)'
'Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities
about them in like manner, giving themselves
over to fornication, and going after strange flesh,
are set forth for an example, suffering the
vengeance of eternal fire'
Jude 1:7 (Queen James)
'Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities
about them in like manner, giving themselves
over to fornication, and going after nonhuman
flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the
vengeance of eternal fire'
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/
article-2249515/World-s-gay-bible-Special-Queen-
James-edition-changes-translation-key-sex-
sentences.html

that is my President!









no sentiments,

hmmmmmmm

kudos op

disgusting, annoying, irritating, .............................




pls help me complete it

pic nko?

PDP dear not point accusing fingers @ buhari regem, after 16 full years of reign not in to write home abt, expextin miracles from d man that came up stage just few weeks