₦airaland Forum

Thanks guys for all these replies...
Una don restore my lost confidence...
So there's one I wanted to ask out... I decided to wait and play her a little after getting advice from you guys...
Also I have gotten 6 new numbers today I want to start running again...

Thanks so much guys, you guys have been helpful, I have gotten loads of advice here I need to try especially my mentality I need to change ASAP

bigpriik:
Mr op, majority of guys here are just like you.even me myself was once like you until I decided to improve myself by learning new things .people who will give you advice here are mostly guys who are inexperienced with women and believe money is all women want ,money will get you women sure but you will later spot its fake love because they will frustrated you with outrageous financial demands ,women are like wildfire its either learn how to control them or they will consume you don't worry send me you WhatsApp number lets chat.

thanks but there's a reason I created another account for this...I want to be completely anonymous...you can help me by posting here

OmoAlata1:
You probably have body or mouth odor. Ask someone that you trust to tell you the truth

thanks but I know I don't have either

waywardpikin:
Lol my nigga. Why I like your thread is because of the honesty with which you communicated your pain. We have all been there, even guys that are more capable than James Bond also get rejected, whether they admit it or not.

From what you wrote, everything checks out and I think you're on the right path. But you're making one crucial mistake that is ruining your game and making a waste of all your effort. I don't even work as hard as you to get ladies.

Your mistake - STOP ASKING WOMEN OUT!

Yeah I put it in caps in hope it'll sink in. You say you hold them around the waist and stuff, that is very good. Your next move is to try and kiss her. Focus on being a flirt, go heavy on the jokes, but sometimes switch and let them see a mean side of you you really don't want them to see.

Be like a light switch, on and off, on and off, hot and cold.

I tell you bro, you will just find yourself in several relationships because the women have already started dating you in their minds. Na after the sex she go dey ask you, "What are we?"

Then you can smile and answer her in Michael Jackson's voice that, "We are the woooooorld, we are the childrennnnnnnn."

Also I think you're taking this dating thing a little too seriously which could be a turn off for some women. Have fun, bro. Have lots of fun. You're still young and the world is your oyster.

P.S. Ideally, I'd advise you to stay off women altogether and focus on building yourself but you need the experience. Men without any experience in Womanology get seriously burned sooner or later so go hard, learn your lessons and grow.

Xoxo.

that's the exact reason I don't wanna give up yet...I need the experience

MrBrownJay1:
There is a big difference between high class babes and attractive/great women....



The 1st attraction is physical...so let's start from the beginning... what gets you interested in a woman? What makes the difference in your world between a girl you wanna date and one you don't?



As much as success with women helps with your confidence, you can't view these rejections as anything else than what they are...PART OF THE GAME

The idea is to cast your net as wide as possible and see what you catch. If you interested in 20 different women then get closer room all of them and ask them out, one after the other, and upgrade your game accordingly, as you go along.

The minute you see anything wrong with approaching a girl you fancy and trying to date her (because of some rejection BS at the back of your mind) then you have already failed.

generally I'm more interested in a girl if we seem to relate very well, I can be myself with her and she's someone who isn't just looking for guys to play or someone to use as maga

MrBrownJay1:
Lower your standards and start to look at more accessible women. If you seek the top beauties out there while your attitude and look isn't as great, then no wonder you will never get these top babes...and should settle for less (or prepare to become a 40yr old virgin)

PS upgrade your self esteem

bro I've thought of lowering my standards already but it's not like they are high before...I find it hard to relate well with these high class girls so normally I tend to vibe more with normal average girls, tho I noticed Im more attracted to fair girls but I've liked like 2 dark girls before...
I don't see how I wanna lower my standards again except u mean I should purposely go for girls I'm not into...and that's not what I want, I want someone I care about
And as for confidence, I can't build it up when I keep getting rejected, no matter how much I try when I think of asking a girl out I always get the feeling that it'll end same way...
Seems only way to genuinely build up that confidence towards girls is to be accepted at least once

blackpanthar:
Brother, what you have gone through is NORMAL....

Sex is not an AWARD... so dont see it as a stigma
DATING is not a sign of maturity...

Your priorities seem MISPLACED.
At your age, no Nigerian girl may love you for WHO YOU ARE even though they LIKE your personality.

GO AND MAKE MONEY, it makes you more DATING-MATERIAL.... Ladies are expensive, yes, In Nigeria, DATING RELATIONSHIPS are like adoption, the girl will ask you for almost EVERYTHING.... and if you can not provide, you will know the real meaning of depression.

The next thing is.... LADIES WILL SAY YES TO MYSTERY guys than to casual folks like you, because they have "SEEN YOU FINISH" .... so you are only good for FRIEND ZONE. Ladies find guys who appear not to even know they exist MORE ATTRACTIVE... So bro, get a life and stop thinking about LADIES.... they are overrated o... once you get into the lifestyle being hooked with ladies, you will CRAVE getting out.

Another thing is, MAKE MONEY.... BUILD YOUR STATUS... once of the reason, soldiers, politicians, pastors, imams, SUG presidents, musicians, etc get to sleep with many ladies or get lots of attention and chase from ladies is because THEY REPRESENT LEADERSHIP or WEALTH or BOTH.... and 90% of ladies are insecure so they will gladly throw themselves at such men....GO AND BUILD ON YOURSELF... it wont take too long you will find ladies begging to be your lover.

bro... there's nothing wrong in chasing money and wanting to feel loved by a girl you like at least once in my life...
And there's guys who I know are so broke yet they get girls

MrWTF:
Don't change a thing on your socialization with girls. The only thing you need to change is your Availability.

Never show a girl you are desperate. Always make her feel she's an option.

Never laugh like a jackal where a girl is, she's gonna take you like a pet, which means Best friend.

Always learn to Say No to a girl.

The most of all, flirt with her friends. Let's say you meet her with her friend in a library, say hello to her, then complement her friend's beauty or her hair, trust me, girls can go crazy for this.

Trust me, you don't need a 7 figure bank statement before you could rip her pant and insert your long dick from behind, thrusting her, till she reaches her peak of pleasure.

thanks bro... I'll try these...
Tho I already do some like I know how to say no and stuff...I'm already making myself scarce to the present girl...

Good day guys, I'm not really too active here, but this is a 2nd account I created for this. I am 22 year old student in my final year. But I've never had a girlfriend, also I have never had sex, but that is not the major problem as I can easily get a hooker and pay. I feel I'm pretty good looking, at least average. This would be a little long, pls try to read through.

My problem is I can't seem to get a girlfriend, I have been rejected by girls like 7 times in a row or more...I don't meet that many girls but I do go out and meet sha and if I like a girl and I feel she's someone I can date I ask her out. If we aren't really vibing I just delete their numbers and forget about them. But I keep getting rejected by all the girls I've asked out, they either see me as a friend and tell me stuff like I'm a good friend or they not ready for a relationship or that they feel I have no feelings for them...like wtf

It's really frustrating so much that it's literally killed every confidence I have to ask girls out. Like the last 3 girls I wanted to ask out I ended up not bothering since I know it'll end same way...planned to ask one out today but I just couldn't stand to get rejected again...cos even tho I think what I'm getting might be green light I'm not sure about girls anymore...in fact now I'm no longer sure if the girls I think liked me before ever did (I wasn't interested in them so I didn't ask them out). Even the one who made me lose all hope was after spending so much time with a girl, I was asking her out for 4 months, I never tot I'd ever ask a girl out that long but I was blinded by love...and we spent so much time together, my friends kept wondering if we were dating but she never said yes even tho she said she liked me too but kept giving excuses...and I pretty much abandoned chasing other girls in for that while...but I still got a no at the end with story changed to she tot she liked me but was just trying to as she could see I was in love with her and didn't wanna break my heart...

That killed my confidence, and I'm not blaming her or anyone...now since then I've only asked 2 girls out, and I still got rejected...

I spend time with the girls, we hang out, flirt, chat etc but they would never date me... I've gotten so lonely as I want to date someone I truly care about and I have even questioned if it's possible for 2 people to fall in love with each other out of the billions of people on earth.

I've heard from someone that I play with girls too much so they won't take me seriously, another was that I'm nice (I don't think I'm that "nice guy" cos I won't go extra mile for any girl just cos I like her, but I'm understanding and I think I tend to make excuses for people when they disappoint). And I'm tired of girls seeing me as a friend, or being taken for granted. In fact my best female friend is one who I asked out before.

When I see people dating I wonder if they from another planet, I can't figure out what's wrong...is it that I have no luck with girls? I have gone online, read books etc. They all keep saying same thing...they talk about confidence but I had that...tho right now I just fake it cos all my confidence is gone with numerous rejections. Then I read about working on yourself, I have done that, I may not be anywhere near the freshest guy but at least I'm sure I'm okay. They talk about creating tension and stuff by making contact and I do that, I hold them around the waist etc....

So far I even read that I shouldn't blame myself or stop trying to figure out what went wrong when I face rejections, that's what I'm doing now...but nothing seems to be changing. I rarely spend time with girls again, except some good friends, and instead I've been focusing more on my hobbies cos I now see it as a waste of time when it only ends in rejection. I think of going out with a girl but I just rather sit at home or spend more time with my guys or even spend the money on them cos I'm fed up. The thought even crossed my mind to give up on girls since it never seems to work...I'm not used to multiple failure as even in other stuff I don't fail as much, but I just can't seem to get it to work with girls. Everything seems fine at first and going smoothly but it all ends with rejection.
I don't wanna give up on girls and I know there's nothing left of my confidence when it comes to girls, tho I fake it...and I will never result to insulting girls just cos of my rejection.

Pls I need real advice on what to do, I have exhausted all my options, and today I resolved to never ask any girl out till I'm 99% sure she'll say yes, but is that even possible? I know every guy gets rejected but it's not easy when u get rejected several times in a row by girls you have serious feelings for.

Should I just cut my losses and give up on girls? For months I spent time on other things and never really cared about any girl any longer but now that feeling is back with this new girl but I can't even ask her out cos I can't say for sure what her reply would be... maybe a no as I usually get...

Pls don't insult me or call me names I just need advice that would help