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tpia@:
madam, kindly stop attacking people just because they're not the same ethnicity as you.

if you feel anyone is against your relationship/s, please face whoever it is directly instead of throwing jabs at all nigerians on or offline.

lord have mercy o.

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Why are you taking it as an attack? Sorry, if you feel telling what one has seen and heard first hand, as throwing jabs. It is not meant to be taken that way and the post are for those who don't know and THOSE WHO are involved in some of the behaviors mentioned that were brought out in the post I am mainly responding to.

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I will double check but NO WHERE in the post do I recall saying ALL NIGERIANS >>> because there is no such thing as ALL in any group of people. I say, to those who are doing this or something like it. Nor are there stereotypes. (True-plenty plenty grammar but my p-english no flow like dat)


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I started by sharing this is a response to an article and a particular post (among others)...but didn't go further to say-where one African-American whose husband is a Nigerian was seeking help for some issues like why were alot of the 9ja women treating her the way they were which wasn't nice. One post said that the African-American wife learning her Nigerian husband's culture is a waste because basically she would never be accpeted by the husband's family even if she learns the language,food, culture, etc. because Nigerian men only really want Nigerian women...and so many other things. As well as lumping white American women and black American women together as one group, referencing some other random issues. My response is from that perspective, I apologize, I did not make it clear.
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No one is against anything concerning me...though my eyes and ears have witnessed too many things o. Not only in the USA but in 9ja, a few other African countries and Europe. I thank God I personally did not go through all I've been a witness to and will not in Jesus name!!! I noted in the post that which was my personal experience or personal opinion.

I did strive not to offend and I chose my words and content carefully, though as I said one or many things are connected to another or other things. [b[b][/b][/color]

Dear Moderator,

I was looking through my 'followed topics' and noticed two were no longer there. After looking, I saw that Nigerian Man Married to Non-Nigerian Wife - Reloaded 1 and 2, have been hidden. Please, may I ask why? These first two helps explains what I am responding to and why. Reloaded 3 doesn't not have any mention of why. As well, it all has to do with culture or is it better suited in another thread?

Thank you

[b]I decided to add my own of what may be able to help, as I came across comments on this site and others regarding this topic. It is a response to a reply to one of the post on July 28th about 2yrs. ago and a combination of others. There are many who know all sides of this issue but this is for those who may not know. No disrespect to anyone but I am going to speak frankly. It is not my intentions to offend anyone from anywhere and what I share is by no means all inclusive. If you are not doing any of this, KNOW, it’s not referring to you. I did not choose to post on just any site where the information can be used anyhow, no. I chose to post on this site, so those who might need the help facing some of these issues might see all sides and cope better.

The man who wrote an article about Nigerian Men who Marry Foreign Wives and the comments it prompted, which I am responding to here, gave his own preference. Everyone has one. A lot goes into coming to certain conclusions-some are valid reasons and some are not valid reasons But, it does not matter it is his preference. This man surely can not speak for all Nigerian men and do not speak for all Nigerian men but there are many who feel just as he does-Nigerians marry Nigerians. If a Nigerian man has no intentions of learning about his non-Nigerian wife’s culture and wants someone who already knows and understands his own culture, way of life, etc., it may be better for him to marry someone from Nigeria’s culture. Also I have to say, Nigerian ladies please know…YOU ARE NOT every man’s preference and can never ever be. If you believe that you are, if you feel the need to be in everyone’s business, if you feel you need to be in everyone’s face ALL the time, if you feel the need to constantly call other women’s husband to ‘greet’, if you need attention from every man single and/or married and too many issues to recount---a few things might be going on. It is possible you have such low self-esteem and don’t think much of yourself except when you pull negative attention from any man your way. When you do it for so long, it becomes an automatic obnoxious, bad habit. Another possibility is demonic activity (arrogance, pride, envy, jealousy, jezebel, lust, seducing, etc. are included here) and this woman usually doesn’t care who the person is, the aim is to destroy what is good and take what is not their own. Many men (and women and not just Nigerian) may also be under demonic influence, bewitched by witchcraft, some may have demonic magnets planted or demonic implants somewhere in their body, on top of harboring perverse and evil spirits. Unfortunately, many of us open negative doors through works of the flesh. There are solutions to whatever the case may be, so one can heal and become a whole, healthy person. We all should strive to be a healthy person capable of enjoying a godly, growing and happy marriage, no matter the background, culture, skin color, etc. Another truth is that there are people always trying to give Africa/Nigeria a bad rap, as if it is the only country that have bad going on, when every country has bad going on. For some reason, Nigeria’s is highlighted a lot regarding the bad and hardly ever for the good—abroad that is. I have had to check people, respectfully, when they try to down Africa or Nigeria in my presence. With that said, even though Nigeria/Nigerians have to stand strong to live down a lot of rubbish talk, Nigerian ladies do not believe that African-American women (in particular) are going to let you run them down with a bad mouth, bad eyes, nasty-foul attitude and everything else negative, largely based on you and your insecurities; and what is in your own head. It is not going to happen, so it is better that you treat each person according to who they are and not who you think they are.

There is too much to say on one issue and the issues are connected to one another or many.

Nigerian Men, please I want to ask a WHAT IF question? If you buy a beautiful car, fully load, bumping sound system, light tinted windows, one of your sweet of the sweetest rides; custom made according to your own specifications. You place your order, pay for it and return to your own country and wait for your shipment to arrive at the port. Once it arrives, you are so excited, as you think of it rolling off the ship. You do all necessary paperwork and when its time to inspect the car, you open the door only to find that the car has been gutted. There is nothing inside…zero! No dashboard full of lights-not even a dashboard, no heater, no a/c, no CD player, no T.V. or DVD player, no seats and not even a steering wheel. How would you feel at this very moment? This immediate feeling is the same way a non-Nigerian wife feels when during courting you behave one way, pretending to be enlightened and open-minded, interacting daily taking both cultural views into consideration. Then, once married you want rip out everything and try to force her into just one way of doing things-the African way. This is a major reason why many of the relationships encounter serious problems right from the start. Now add the outside interference, misunderstandings, witchcraft attacks, etc, is this a good way to start married life? Honesty…before marriage is as important as honesty after and during marriage for a good foundation.

God gave each woman what they have and we thank Jehovah God. Among women from the same culture there is this jealousy and envy thing of you think you’re better than me. It is the same thing going on when Nigerian men marry a non-Nigerian wife, whether admitted or not. Culture does not make any one better than another but foolishly some think it does, rather some need to think it does. If one wants to marry someone who already knows the culture, was born and raised in it; of course, marry from the culture-please do not torment and torture an innocent unsuspecting person because of what they do not know about your culture and what you are unable/unwilling to share with them about your own culture. If God has a different plan for you, and the person you are to marry was not born and raised in your culture, do what God is leading you to do for your own life. God has a different plan for each our lives and it is not patterned according to man or what everyone else is doing. I would like to add here, please Nigerian men who love their wife (and she loves you too), though she was not born and raised in your culture, take the time to tell her and show her what she needs to know i.e. language, food, normal interactions, traditions and daily norms. Please listen to the cautions that she might share with you, do not automatically dismiss them. There are some Nigerian women, FULL OF MALICE, who will try to disrespect your wife at every opportunity and your non-Nigerian wife needs to learn how to hold her own ground in your culture otherwise many will happily pounce on her. Non-Nigerian wife’s what you think is happening, when it happens, many times is just like that-do not ignore it and it is not your imagination. Address it, but do not overreact. Even you will have to learn how to handle the rude interactions from many women with advice from your husband and women who is fair-minded and decent. All the attitude, rude looks, nasty comments and disrespect some Nigerian women do when the Nigerian man is not around—do make sure to let your husband know some of what is going on---so when you check them, he will fully understand. This way the Nigerian woman will not be able to get away with her 2-faced scheme or try to use the culture against you. The fact is that she has put herself against you not for culture sake or anything noble but because of her own prejudices, insecurities, jealousy, envy, etc. Know, non-Nigerian wives, that most Nigerian men won’t see it at first (sorry men, some of you are captured in many ways but do not even know it) and many Nigerian women are experts at using the culture to hide their true negative intentions and motives very well.
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[b]Imagine this…everyman has killer x-ray vision…imagine ooo! If men look at anything for too long, the thing will burst into flames. Now imagine the thing they look at too long is a woman’s backside…oopss, that poor woman has just caught fire. Another man looks…ah you know where…that woman too has gone up in smoke. It won’t take long before the whole woman population disappears from the face of the earth. Men…gentlemen, when you are with your wife and an attractive woman passes and you can’t take your eyes off the attractive woman-know, you are captured. Ladies, if you are you’re your husband and a fine, handsome man passes by and you tune out what your man is saying to concentrate fully on keeping your eyes on the attractive man-know, you too are captured. There is nothing wrong with noticing an attractive person. We will notice, whether we are married or single. In many places it is normal to lust after men and women in your heart. I have to tell you that it opens the door to the spirit of lust and other perverse spirits. Again, there is nothing wrong with noticing a beautiful attractive person, even paying them a honest compliment but when you are spending 3-7 hours your time a day doing it and talking about it …..know you are a captured person. I pray you be loose in Jesus name.

There are people in all cultures doing what is not to be done. Does having culture automatically make a good person? Does culture stop people from kicking their neighbor, brother, sister, etc. when they are already down flat on the ground? Does having culture automatically make you better than another? Does culture stop women from having several abortions instead of practicing abstinence? Does culture stop women from abandoning and even throwing away their own child-flesh and blood, just to be able to deceive another man that they have no children, receive their name and status quo of being married? Does having a culture stop women from accepting to marry a man they know wants to having children, but he does not know and they very well know they do not even have a womb to give him a child? Does culture stop women from trying to put themselves in God’s place by trying to dominant (and even kill) the life and destiny their children? Does culture stop women from lying to their husband about who is the real father of their pregnancy? Does culture stop a husband and wife in a so called marriage of 20 years from committing adultery 18 out of the 20 years? Does culture stop women from using their culture to chase men? Does culture stop women from throwing themselves at men? Does culture stop women from throwing themselves at married men? Does culture stop women from trying to buy men? (Does culture stop men from allowing themselves to be shamefully bought by a woman?) Does culture stop women from using spells and charms to force a man against HIS WILL to be with her? Does culture stop women from dressing half naked just to get negative attention from any man? Does culture stop a woman from twitching her backside more than a super model does just to get negative attention from any man? Does culture stop women from maltreating innocent children-their children, by marriage? Does culture stop women from having 2, 3, 4 faces to deceive men? Does culture stop some people from pushing the majority of their parental responsibilities off on househelp? Does culture stop some househelps from abusing the children they are taking care of? Does culture stop some househelps from sexually abusing the children (little boys and little girls) they are to be taking care of? Does culture stop women from openly, and secretly sharing one man? Does culture stop some women from pretending to be a sister while they participate and watch their husband commit adultery for money with another woman? Does culture stop divorce? Does culture stop fornication, adultery or rape? Does culture keep people from being ok with man and man holding hands, woman and woman holding hands but is outraged when husband and wife hold hands? Does culture stop men from abandoning their roles as leaders in their home? Does culture stop husband and wife from walking away from their marriage with no grounds while deceitfully pulling two innocent people into adultery? Does culture stop men from leaving everything on their wife’s head like she doesn’t have a husband? Does culture stop parents from marrying their children off to demons? Does culture stop parents from going to demons requesting what only God can give WITH NO DEADLY STRINGS ATTACHED? Does culture stop people from doing nothing that allows evil to thrive? Does culture stop people from seeing kindness as foolishness but prefer to call stealing, defrauding and hustling people out of their hard EARNED money as smart? Does culture stop people from being servants of corruption and servants of satan? Does one really believe that in God’s eyes divorce is a higher sin than adultery or killing an unborn child is lesser than killing a grown person? It is ALL sin.

The answer is a capital NO! The answer is NO to every single question. It is all sin. What is good in a culture should be kept and passed on BUT if it is not good it should be done away with and NEVER passed on to generations to suffer what is terrible and ultimately deadly. Personally, if I knew something was trying to kill me, I could never and would never want to pass it to my children, or my children’s children, etc., in order to please others. Though I listed the negative, there are many very good things in culture. At the source, culture can keep people connected in very good ways and preserve their history, way of life and more. But if it’s connecting people to something bad or evil, and it is now known that its bad or evil…we are not to destroy our own house to please others. No culture can make a person whose heart is filthy and vile, clean, good, or better, at all at all. Just as skin color or skin tone does not make another person better than another, culture does not and can not make another person better than anyone. Can something be true and false at the same time? It is not logical.

In the US, even if an African-American man marries a white woman or a white man marries an African-American woman, the men and women of each side may ask why-when there are many among us who are the same to choose from. When a Nigerian man marries an African-American woman, the comment some African-American men might say is that the woman wants an original black man and African-American men are not good enough for her. It usually is not the case but it is still said and believed by many. The way I have seen it time and time again, when a Nigerian man marries a (African-American) non-Nigerian wife—many Nigerian women also say (even out loud) why would he go and marry a an African-American wife, when all of us are here. Some even go as far to say that Nigerian men only marry a non-Nigerian wife to get some type of material or monetary gain. Unfortunately, this is true is some cases-well many cases but definitely not all. Still many Nigerian women believe, not only believe but maliciously and viciously act on it. I have seen hostility, manipulations and straight out lies, mind-games and such to interfere and destroy the marriage that a Nigerian man has with his non-Nigerian wife. Some even turn to juju to try to get rid of the non-Nigerian wife. NIGERIAN WOMEN, Nigerian men are entitled to make their own preference. Nigerian women you’re approval (except Mama) is not necessary, your approval is not needed nor is your approval required in any shape, form or fashion. Ultimately, a person’s preference should be the person that God has for that person. No person knows tomorrow and it is God who knows why he brings two people together and it is God who knows where the two are going together. Nigerian women, no matter what you say, what you do or how hard you try, you will never have what God gave to the wife, God gave only to the wife, for her own husband.

This is sincere advice to Nigerian women who are doing these negative things, stop trying to interfere in your Nigerian brother’s marriage because he has decided to marry a non-Nigerian wife. Please, continue to earnestly look out for your Nigerian brothers (because bad and terrible women are everywhere), and it is good for you to watch his back if truly that is what you are doing but you know when you have crossed the boundary and is now working towards putting yourself in a place that is not your own. Nigerian women, you know when this ‘woman nonsense’ is at work and you are no longer doing what is best for the Nigerian man. Nigerian women, you know when your motives change from watching out for your brother to trying to take the brother for yourself---by force even. Interring in a marriage that God has put together, PLEASE KNOW you have put yourself at war with God and you will NEVER WIN.

Another thing just came to mind on a spiritual note…Nigerian woman, if you have not, examine and check yourself thoroughly. Some of you may have things planted in your body—different parts of your body that you may not be aware of that work to draw negative attention of men to yourself.

Personally, I have met many Nigerian women (NOT ALL), who are friendly and down to earth so to speak, until they know or see that your man is a Nigerian. Immediately, many of their attitudes and demeanors change accompanied with now phony, cold, 2-faced interactions with you. But they light up when your man is around, as if you are such good friends-even shamelessly check him out and survey him in your presence. There are African-American men married to Nigerian women, and I don’t believe African-American women are trying and give unnecessary grief to the woman of that couple just because the African-American man’s wife is a Nigerian. But hey, if it is happening then everything I said here to Nigerian women, also goes to the African-American women. To African-American women I would have to add, leave the couple alone and get over yourself. Every man does not want you, every man does not need you, you are not for every man and every man is not for you. Stay out of people’s marriages, relationships and keep your rude, manipulating comments, attitudes and opinions to yourself—they are worthless and usually not founded on good intentions or motives for the man or the destiny that God has for that man.
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Please, will you hide this thread also.

[b]Definitely Yes!


Black people are every much equal to whites in intelligence.


In the USA, some white people vomit the delusion that they are more intelligent than black people but it is not true.
White people have done a lot of bad things to a lot of people almost everywhere. They are the majority in influential places and whites get early exposure to many things before others. Thus, have a head start in working out problematic issues, etc. Many whites also know that with the same information and exposure, other will achieve what they have which is why they pervert, taint and with-hold a lot of good things from others and keep it just for themselves-whites. The greed, hoarding and evil acts committed, I do believe there is a demonic aspect involved as well. ALL white people do not think like this but many do. Everything good does not belong only to whites, nor does everything good only come from whites.

It is not that whites have more gifts because they do not per se. At an early age, they are exposed to activities, situations, choices, etc. that many blacks may not be exposed to until later in life and some blacks never exposed to. Many whites just get a head-start. If one starts learning about business at an early age of 5-6yrs old by working with their father in their own business, then by the time the person is an adult they will have acquired a vast amount of knowledge and skills in that area. Right? Well, this is what is happening. Many whites ensure that their children are exposed to a variety of positive opportunities growing up and by the time they reach adulthood, they have gained great skills and have perfected their talents.

In reality, the same thing happens to a black person with the same opportunities. All persons no matter the skin color have certain special skills, talents or expertise in certain areas.

Rewind further:
For the whites to ensure that they have exposure to certain choices and opportunities in life, some other things are taking place. Let’s look at gainful employment, which a responsible man needs in order to provide for his family. A black man can hold a maters degree or Ph.D and apply for a top position in a company. The black man has the intelligence, all of the knowledge, skill and more but most whites will not give him the job. A white person applies for the same job and holds only an associates degree and have zero skills but the whites will give the job to the white person and be very willing to train the white in the things they do not know yet. If it continues like this for the black person, they will have to take a low paying job to support his family or even work two jobs so they can try to get ahead. If the father is working two jobs he will not be available much or have time for his family; and not privileged to take advantage of quality family time or many other positive opportunities. If the white person gets only one great paying job and only works 8 hours a day or less, he will have the money and time to do more with his family. He will be there more to share his experiences, life lessons, business sense and so much more.
With the same opportunities there is no difference between black, whites, or any color. White people already know this which is why they suppress and keep certain knowledge, etc. for just whites. These are who I refer to the bad whites or racist whites. White people try to play down black people’s intelligence in order to make themselves feel good or superior to them but who are they anyway and why would anyone every believe them. White people are in no way superior to anyone because their skin color is white.

For example, a white and black person can make the same mistake but for the white person, the whites will be so very understanding. The will correct the white person without a threat to her job. But for the black person there will be no understanding and that mistake will many times be used against the black person as a platform to terminate their employment or sack them. Then, they will go and employ another white person. But on the books, it looks like they are not racist because they have blacks listed as employees at one time or another.

Another example is of a very large company that offers internships. From those in the internship they select new employees. Most of the management staff was white. One intern did exceptionally well. He knew the policies, guidelines, learned quickly and once he was finished with his daily tasks he was offering others his assistance. His immediate supervisor noticed him and what a great job he was doing. Do you know what she did? She began to undermine his skills and abilities by telling others that he was not doing what she told him to do. The statement was 100% untrue but some of the other whites believed her lie and now started giving this young man a hard time for no reason at all. He was doing everything very well. THIS is the problem many whites try to create for blacks. This young man was a Nigerian and he should have been selected for the position but he was not. It happens like this frequently for African-Americans too. A white person was chosen for this well paying position with super great benefits, though the Nigerian was clearly the most qualified candidate. The white manager later confessed to other whites that the only reason she did not select the Nigerian was because he intimidated her. His intelligence, knowledge, skills, confidence and more caused her to be concerned about her own job and whether he will do so well that her job will be given to him in the future. With that she acted on it and tried to negatively affect this young man’s life on account of her messed up prejudiced and racist thinking. Unfortunately, this is how many whites think and they do band together to do wrong and injustices to black people. Know also, there are blacks who are very capable of blocking all the manipulations, tricks, lies and set-ups of bad white people and do so in a decent and legal manner.

Most of these things still happen to this very day in the USA, but not only in the US. If not skin color, people use other things in the place of skin color. Whites are just people, and as we all do…they too will have to eat all the bad they have sown.

No body is better, more intelligent, superior….or anything because their skin color is white or any other color.


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[b]A Christian or true believer and follower of Jesus Christ can not be possessed by demons.

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It is God's word that rules, not the devils. If one sincerely accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior, the Holy Spirit now dwells in them. What demon anywhere has the power to move God's spirit out of the person? It never happens. As well, I have not come across any account in the Bible where a demon possessed a Christian.


There is a delusion that Jesus Christ is not enough; and this delusion, is what the devil is using to influence people into moving themselves away from what is true in Jesus Christ. Reject the delusion in Jesus name. This delusion, I believe is opening doors to demonic influence, oppression, bondage and possession in the lives of many who are seeking help from one problem or another. It's unfortunate that MANY of the problems we face are self-created in everyday choices we make in our daily lives. Christians can face demonic oppression and attacks, even bondage again, if doors (opened through works of the flesh, etc.) are not closed and KEPT CLOSED. Non-Christians can face every spectrum of demonic activity because they have not accepted the protection in Jesus Christ. The way we choose to live our life is a part spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare is very real >>>>>> Know, JESUS CHRIST IS MORE THAN ENOUGH!!!

Brothers and Sisters in Christ, we are suppose to control and guard ourselves...our eyes, our ears, our mouth, our mind and our heart. We are suppose to pull down every stronghold, every vain imagination and anything that exalts itself against the word of God. Many refuse to do this, thus giving the devil access to come in and run some things in their life. The Christian can overcome the demonic influence, oppression or bondage in Jesus name. But the non-Christian, it is only matter of time...the devil will succeed in doing what he does which is steal, kill and destroy, if the person doesn't accept the gift of salvation and protection in Jesus Christ.

Christians, we have been given the keys to the kingdom of heaven, please do not allow anyone to trick you into throwing the keys away.

Glory and praises to the great I Am...the only wise God!!!



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[b]In the US, when a bad or racist white person tries to push their negative thoughts, ideas and suggestions my way, I tell them what I am about to say here. Nigerian brothers and sisters if the shoe fits…You do not tell me who I am… I tell you who I am. You do not tell me what I can and can not do, I tell you. Just because you say something does not and will not make it true, if it is not true. No one in Africa or anywhere can change the heritage or history of African-Americans. Our ancestors came from Africa. Many were sold and taken to America and other places in chains by force. (Some of your ancestors may have even sold some of us off…but, forgiven.) You, who are born and raised in Africa, grow up with the African culture. We African-Americans in North America have to reconnect to the African culture. Is it easy? No, because we can’t embrace everything with closed eyes, and we can’t embrace everything under the influence that is definitely present. We can not embrace one way as the only way, when we know there are more very good ways to achieve good and numerous positive options available. We should know our African culture. Who is the person who wants to try standing in the way all on account of their low self-esteem, jealousy and insecurity issues? Work on your own self and your own life…and let others do the same without the rotten attitude, lying lips and scheming hearts. An African-American who is learning the African heritage is doing what she (or he) is suppose to do-are you? An African-American wife learning her African heritage has nothing to do with you ‘Nigerian women who put themselves there’---absolutely nothing. An African-American learning her Nigerian husband’s culture is doing what she is suppose to do. Let me say it loud and clear-NO ONE IN AFRICA BY TALKING RUBBISH TALK OR TRYING TO GIVE AFRICAN-AMERICANS DEROGATORY NAMES CAN CHANGE OR WILL EVER CHANGE WHERE AFRICAN-AMERICANS ANCESTORS (MOST OF US) COME FROM….AFRICA. The fact that one opens their mouth and says what is not true actually shows that the person has a problem of their own.

There are so many intelligent Nigerians everywhere, I would kindly suggest someone come up with better words to appropriately say who African-Americans are, in the African culture. We are not oyibo! Let me say it plain--this is an insult. We are not akata/acata-it is also an insult. We are not half-cast… well this one is just my opinion-I just don’t like the word because I know I am the original cast of how God-the Creator of heaven, earth and mankind, made me. We know our roots begin in Africa (most African-Americans)-Nigerians, you also know most African-American’s roots begin in Africa, so what really is the problem?

Everybody in North America is not white, nor is their culture white and you know this by now, so what really is the problem?

It is offensive, calling someone white who is not. For example in the hood, ghetto, a guy whose skin in actually light (light skinned black) not white but both of his birth parents are dark skinned blacks, the son is still black, though his skin tone is light. Everyone in the neighborhood knows his parents and him, and also know though his skin is light, he is still a black man. (Even Nigerians born in Nigeria are of different skin tones and shades.) There are his friends who might crack on him jokingly and call him a white-boy but not all the time or as his name but anyone who is not a friend and calls him white-boy, cracker, etc. ALL THE TIME, it will be taken and considered an insult. It will also clearly show everyone that that person has a problem with the light-skinned brother. I take someone calling me white (when we are still fighting against the bad whites to get and keep what is good for us and our family) as an insult and most African-Americans would. Stop trying to play African-Americans as white because when you do, many of us will not hesitate to let you know we are not white. If you force it, we will tell you we are not white with a serious attitude and many in 9ja (who have not travelled) will not relate. Those who have not travelled, I usually ask where are they from and which tribe. If they tell me they are Yoruba-then I say they are Igbo because Igbo people are in Nigeria. If they tell me they are Igbo-I say they are Hausa because Hausa people are in Nigeria. No one has tried to give me an attitude but they get the point I am making very well. Not everyone in Nigeria is from one tribe and culture; and not everyone in North America is white or from the white culture. Assimilation in the US did not work. America is great in its own way but everyone who goes there quickly learns that there is still racism and a lot of the bad whites want to keep everything and the very best for the whites. What does that mean? It means that most everyone in America still hold on to their culture. Italian-American, Chinese-American, German-American, etc…but we are still all Americans. Even if a Chinese is the 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on generation in the US and has never been to China —they have a Chinese name, they learn and know the culture, and China remains their ancestral home. Nigerian brothers and sisters, again I ask, what really is the problem? I have heard some say African-Americans think they are better….let me tell you, unfortunately many African-Americans are still in mental slavery. They don’t know and are still living some affects of physical slavery (which is no more) this is being passed down in their own family or life. Institutional and economical slavery they have not defeated and some are too angry; and think and behave in a way that sabotages their own life. The same is happening with many in Nigeria with poverty, so why is there no understanding? As well, there are African-Americans who stomp on racists per se and all the other delusions that racist whites try to push; and are doing excellent for themselves and their family. It is many from this latter group of African-Americans who are reconnecting to their African heritage.

The truth is not an insult. If someone claims to love you and care for you and see you heading for destruction and allow you to continue to destruction saying only what you want to hear---KNOW, the real is that the person does not care about you or love you at all.

Nigerian men who are doing this….just because you are married to a Nigerian woman does not mean you should treat her bad, maltreat or beat her just because you can get away with it culturally. Men who beat women are cowards and it is a sign that your life coping skills are immature and under-developed. Men, who are real men, know how to talk to their wife and help her be the woman she is to be. Just because some women are use to being dismissed, discounted, ignored, and treated like furniture in the house, and you can treat your wife like this, doesn’t mean that you should treat your wife like this-even if she might be use to it and doesn’t say one word or react to it. It is not godly and it is not good or healthy for her…and you already know this, though conditioned not to take it into account. You should not treat her bad because you, yourself, would not want any one to treat you in that manner. Other men may talk which only pushes one to keep doing the bad (man wrappa?, tied, locked, charmed and more) because you are doing or trying to do the right thing-which is be the king in your own home. When they see how your wife and queen sincerely (not robotically) love, admire and respect you-some of their hearts will be angry. Jealousy and envy are terrible things. When you stand before God those men will not be around, and even if they could be, I don’t believe any of them would step in and take your punishment for you taking their bad advice. Men, when you hurt and abuse your wife, you are hurting and abusing yourself because your wife is part of you. Do healthy, progressing and sane people do this? I pray you do what it best for you, your wife and your children always…we are all accountable before God.

Why is it ok to show care, love and unity with others but when a husband does this for his wife, the wife has charmed him and visa versa? It is a demonic influence and should be pulled down in Jesus name.

All shared here is definitely not everything to either side, as it is not possible to cover all on all sides. And there are still other areas like 419 marriages, no affection, marriage traps, abuse of all types and more. ALL cultures have the good, the bad and ugly. No culture can change inside a man’s heart. No culture can save a soul.

In summary, African-Americans do not need permission from anybody near or far to be African-Americans. I am sharing for those who do not know and also because people still need to get it right (and yes that includes African-Americans). Nigerians (and all who fit), no one is better than the other because of culture. Though the culture we live by has some huge differences---they are that, differences and can be worked out and worked through with patience, understanding and respect. Most African-Americans ancestral home is Africa and we should want to learn about our African heritage-it is natural. Nigerians, wouldn’t it be better to educate with your words, then to be the devil’s messenger of lies and continued division?

Lastly, I have another “what if” question: Do you know the story of Paul from the Bible? He was a single man-never married. His name was Saul but when he gave his life to Jesus Christ, his name was changed to Paul. He went out and set the world on fire for Jehovah God in Jesus name. Yet, he had many trials, afflictions and persecutions…shipwrecks, beatings where he was left for dead and these were just only a few things he faced.

Dear Nigerians, what if Paul was living in modern day Nigeria?

What if Paul was married and living in modern day Nigeria and still faced the shipwrecks, beatings, poisonings, etc., please- what will most Nigerians unfortunately tell Paul and other people about his wife STRAIGHT?

True talk…many would say his wife is ob---- ! This thing about light-skinned girls/women being from the water is not true just like that. Someone in the US, who was born and raised in the South said many there believe that dark skinned people are evil, which equally is not true just like that. Demons and satan do not sit around and wait for a certain skin type before they possess a person. No. Evil spirits do not care at all what a person’s color or skin tone is…they are only looking for an open vessel…a body to possess. Look at yourself first and make sure you have closed all the accesses satan uses to operate in your life. After looking at yourself first, then look at those close to you. Don’t allow people bad words and thoughts to unwisely become your own. Bearing false witness is another terrible thing.

Those who travel abroad and know there are more than one positive option but still come back and fall into the pattern of doing the bad thing just because every one else is doing the bad thing-shame on you. It is hard to go against the flow of a culture regarding the good things, as it should be. It is also hard to go against the flow of a culture regarding bad things too, BUT we all have to strive to do it. African-Americans, Nigerians (white Americans) and whoever else….none of us should think more highly of ourselves then we ought to or we can easily find ourselves in false pride, error, delusion, confusion, oppression, bondage and more.

This is one comment from one site on this subject I want to share because I have thought the same thing <<<<>>> A man is yours, when he gives you his everything; NOT because you are from the same country and/or speak the same language.

May God’s blessings and protection forever surround your marriage, in Jesus name.

SisterSister
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