First of all, my phone is five years old
Not 1, Not 2, Five, FIVE!
So may I?

I get the whole "cut your cake to your size thing", and do not seek extravagance.

Yet instead of admiring this couple, have they not "over-cut"? What's the need for a white wedding? Even if the groom feels a need to wear a suit and the bride a wedding gown, what significance is this mockery of cake?
Would they give their guest bread?
They'd easily get un-iced cake for their guest at the same price the excess bread cost and furniture on which the bread is arranged.

This is probably a scene from those "trying to be funny movies". And its not even funny#myonekobo

RuuDie:


It isn't even about the sex alone... From what she posted, There is absolutely no reason for your ex not to be the one you're about to wed. I have never in my life seen where family comes between a couple that is hell-bent on being together... Never!

The annoying bit was they knew we were seeing each other! Yet they waited till it was getting serious before they dug out that story!

However I'm making a very hard decision to move on without looking back, thanks to some very insightful comments from Naijaboiy, highdreez, cold, ladyF, gurgle.

RuuDie:


It isn't even about the sex alone... From what she posted, There is absolutely no reason for your ex not to be the one you're about to wed. I have never in my life seen where family comes between a couple that is hell-bent on being together... Never!

Maybe I wasn't hell-bent enough. I just didn't expect the clog in our relationship, then came the ludicrous story about how our families couldn't inter-marry cause of some messed up ancestral bouhaha.

We did try to find "corners/ loophole", but when his parents said the only way we would be married is if we eloped to a foriegn country! And bore children there. We gave up. I'd admit that I gave up first.

libertyfather:


Never, you are not disturbing me,it's an interesting conversation though on someone thread besides the op dint thank me for my advice....shame op and for you I mean to see you again

You told me to "follow my mind, nothing dey happen". That's hardly a situation helping advice. And you want a thank you? Really? Okay, Thank You Sir! Good night.

Gurgle:


Ok

what exactly are you nervous about? the wedding day itself, the thought of being married, the thought of being married to this guy IN PARTICULAR, children, living with him and not your family, not having the same life as before, or what?

Some nerves are normal, after all its a big step. But if its making you to travel these irrational routes of thinking I would suggest you reach the root cause before taking it

I wouldn't say you are a coward since it must have taken something to admit you were feeling this way, even on an anonymous forum. some people cant even admit it to themselves. Everybody feels pressure to fit in with society once in a while. But what we forget is that what society says is "right" changes with every passing minute. Therefore its important not to get caught in that wind of change, because it isn't really based on anything solid. Hope you get what im saying

I do get what you are saying.

Society's "right" does change. But while right is still "right" the weight feels enormous. And no one else seems to understand how you feel.

I have no idea why I'm so nervous, that way I'd have been able to handle it head-on. It however isn't about the day, it's about the "forever".

Thank you for your time. Your responses are helping me realise that there might not be something major wrong with me afterall. For this, thank you again.

Good night Gurgle.

cold:
No! Stop yourself now before you do anything stupìd. It sure won't be easy,after all you're human but i'd strongly suggest you show some restraint. These kinda things have a way of spiralling out of control. Never mind the responses you'll get here. You're most likely going to be told to pray about it anyways. And probably told to fast while you're at it.

They do spiral out of control, they do! In my dumbness I must have forgotten this

I don't want to do anything stupid. I really don't. God help me.

Eyinjuege has suggested cutting off all contact with him, that's what it has come down to.

Thank you.

naijaboiy:
"One Last Time" may be the beginning of a series of sexual escapades with your ex even after you get married.

If you can keep away from him for two years why lose your guard now?

Be guided.

Hm! "If I can keep away from him for two years..." Good question. *heavy sigh*.

Be guided? Yessir! Thank you!

Gurgle:


Youre really welcome. But what made you go down this route of thinking? are you nervous about your upcoming wedding or

Nervous is an understatement! I'm terrified! I realize now I'm such a coward, cowering to the whims of society.

My fiancee must have noticed too, just yesterday he asked if I was ready for this. I'm not backing out, no, but "forever" scares the living day light out of me!

Gurgle:
But wouldn't you feel guilty if you did that so close to your wedding?!

Especially if you have been keeping yourself for almost 2 years. What would be the point of it

You said your ex was crying when you broke up. Are you sure he wouldn't use it against you if you slept with him again, to ruin your marriage

He might feel like you are using him. Which you kind of are

Insightful! Thank you so much!!

Hello Nairalanders,

I'm set to be married in a few weeks.

About my groom; if making love was my most important criteria for marriage, he'd definitely not be my choice husband. HOWEVER he is an amazing, godly, caring man (let me state that I do not believe in "love" the way most people do. I do believe in compatibility, companionship and understanding which is present in our relationship, this is "love"

About my ex-; I have an amazing ex-. Love-making: on point. Companionship: on point. Fun/ understanding each other: on point!

The relationship however did not work out. I so remember the way he cried when I had to end the relationship then because of serious irreconcilable issues between both our families. That was 2013. We have since remained casual friends, even somewhat cold and distant.

The two major things I miss about the old relationship is the way we totally got along and the love-making.

With my wedding knocking loudly at the door, I can't push away the thought of spending one last night with him.
Since 2013 I have restrained myself from all physical intimacy with him for the sake of my relationship.

Right now however, all of my body wants to be with him, for the very last time. At least.

So dear nairalanders, my distress and confusion is this, if I make love with him, would I regret it after I'm married? Or would I regret it IF I don't? I certainly do not want any "oh I should have" after my wedding, which if left to foster might lead to adultery. God forbid!

And yes, I know they'd be lots of insults and jabs at me but I do hope some of you would please talk to me.

Thank you.