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nicole9: Good afternoon. I am a 22yr old girl dating a guy of 28. Please I urgently need your advice.This is my story.

I met this guy I am dating now when I was 15 years old. Then I was in SS2 when we became friends. He was intelligent, smart, but came from a fairly middle background. I did not particularly mind about his backround even though I came from an upper middle class family. He later asked me out and I declined at first, but along the line I fell in love with him and then I agreed to date him when I was in SS3.

I was a virgin at that time. I told him I wasn’t ready for sex and he agreed to wait. He waited for a year, and until I finished secondary school and he gained admission into the university. He loved me so much that he wanted me to take a covenant with him which I refused because I had heard that it was not good, and we forgot about it. So one day, I went to visit him as usual and one thing led to another, and we had sex unexpectedly. I was scared that since he has slept with me, he would break up with me but he assured me of his love and that he would not do such a thing to me. He then brought up the covenant issue again and at that point, I thought that is not a bad idea after all, since he said he was going to marry me.

So we made a blood covenant. We cut ourselves with blade, and then mixed d blood with water which we both drank and took oaths not to leave each other even until death. We also took an oath that we would to marry each other. We made other several covenants, like he was the only man that would see my unclothedness and use me until I am old. I also said the same to him but this covenant was not with blood and we read Ruth 1: 1-16 -17 during this also.

The relationship went on well and I gained admission into the university he was attending, so it was easy for us. However, I later got pregnant in March that year and we were scared. We were not experienced in any way about drugs to take and he said he couldn't use a condom on a woman he intends to marry. We thought of keeping it but we did not have the resources and we also couldn't think of telling our parents, so we made a decision to abort it.

The relationship continued and that same year again I got pregnant in November. I removed that one too. The following year, I got pregnant again in March which I removed later. In May that same year, the same thing happened and I removed it. Although, he was by my side in all these and that was when I said I would never do abortion again in my life. I said then that if I get pregnant again, I will go ahead and have the baby. Our relationship continued, but in the next year he started acting funny like he was loosing interest in the relationship, he didn’t tell me but I could guess but all still went well. That was the same year he graduated while I was just entering my final year in the university. Since he was in lagos awaiting NYSC and I was in school, it looked as if we were drifting apart. I tried my best to get along with him, which we did though.

When he came to school for clearance, we got along well too. Although, then we had a little misunderstanding which made him to travel in annoyance without us settling the problem. Later I apologized on phone and we were on good terms. He even called to tell me he was posted to the North and it was a two day journey from Lagos which he wasn’t happy about. After camp, he tried working his service back to lagos, but it didn’t work out, so he had to go back to the North and during all this time, we could not see one on one because I was in school writing my project.

After some time he didn’t communicate with me like he used. No calls, text or even a flash and, so I was scared and worried, and still tried my best to communicate with him. I called him and we talked. Then when it was almost time for him to come home for the Christmas holidays, he told me that he was in love with someone else but he still felt for me. I was heart broken. I asked him "why all this?" and then he said that I caused it and that we didn’t see each other for close to eight months, and that was why it happened. Then again, he later apologized that he would call it off with her and which he did when he found out the girl was playing him.

During the Christmas holiday, he apologized for everything, and we continued our relationship, but that time he told me that he slept with the girl he cheated on me with and that nothing happened to him and that meant that the covenant was not working, but I said nobody knows, you can never tell what will happen. However, I was scared within me and hoped that nothing would go wrong. I thought that since he had slept with another woman, it was possible that he would try it again, but I tried to get that off my mind.

We became close again and he later went to complete his NYSC program after the holiday was over, and by then I had also graduated. He assured me of his love and we always kept in touch when he went back. But all of a sudden, everything changed. I called him one day when he was about to complete his NYSC program around May and he told me he wanted to be alone and that I should look for another man to marry. He said that he was not ready to settle down. This was was someone I spoke to just two weeks back and all appeared to be well. I was confused. I called to ask him why? I asked if I offended him and he said no, that he just wanted to be alone. Then, I knew that there was a girl involved, so I told his sister everything because his parents and sisters knew me as the girl he intended to marry as he had introduced me to them long ago. His sister told me that all will be well and that I should just be patient and that when he returned to Lagos in June, they (the family) would sit him down and talk to him.

After much pleading with him to tell me why he was behaving like this, he told me that he has seen another girl he loves so much and wants to marry. I asked him, "what about the covenant we took?" and then he told me that someone told him that the covenant would not work because we mixed d blood with water before saying all what we said. That day when he told me this, I cried my eyes out.

I have not been myself since then. This is a man I had looked up to as my husband. Someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Someone I removed four kids for. Someone who took my most prized possession, my virginity and pride. I have pleaded with him in any way possible, but to no avail. He neither felt remorse nor even tried to call me. I called him one fatetul day and I found out that he had deleted my number. He asked who I was. That day I felt like crying. Then he gave the phone to his new girlfriend telling me that she wanted to speak to me. That the woman he wanted to marry wanted to speak to me. When the girl collected the phone from him, she asked who I was. At that point, I was so dumbfounded that I had to cut the call. I later sent him a text and gave him a piece of my mind. I told him that God would repay him in his own coin and that the blood of my kids would fight for me.

The girl read the text with him, and this made the girl to keep calling and asking who I was. Once I knew that the girl would not stop, I told her that I was the girlfriend he had been dating for six years and broke up with because of her but that I had noting against her in my heart.

I made up my mind not to call my boyfriend again, but he later sent me a text me two days later asking why I told the girl that he just broke up with me and that she was the one he loves and wants to marry. I told his sister later everything that happened later on. His mother told me not to worry and that he would still come to Lagos this June, and that at least the girl was in the North. She said that everything would be resolved, but I believe that it is the man that has say in all of this and I have decided in my mind to let everything go, since he doesnt love me again. I decided that if it was meant to be, then it would have been.

However, I want to say this, I still love him and I am badly hurt by all that has happened. I am also still scared about the covenant. I have lost it all. I just need your advice and prayers badly because I am so lost. I don’t know where to start from? Even though I still have admirers, I have not been able to open my heart to any man till now. Please help!



Oloriburuku ni won, na so den dey do, u knw wat girlffrnd, I knw its painful, I feel ur pain seriously, I knw wat u r going tru, that's dem for u, they r not worth it, just gather urself together and move on. My dear, he's not coming back but for real, he's going to regret it. That one is sure. I understand ur feelings . God will see u tru. Dnt chase ur admirers away pls, give them chance but be careful, dnt rush. And God will give u ur own husband. The lord is your strenght

deal_ordea: Go jump for third mainland