blazingblender:
Dude I understand this situation
Being close to those kinda people is really dangerous
Cus they are snakes
They will surround you first before attacking you
So what you should do is become a non friend to him
I think you should tell him what you just wrote
That you don't like him being around you
So he should give you space if he insist and keeps coming closer
You can create a scene that will push him away

I think my anger is just how it will sound bringing things like this up. I think one thing that has been an issue for me is you know I use to think it is only women that raise these kinds of things, but I won't lie, it eats me badly and annoys me. I don't know how to sound without coming off wrong and I don't know if guys normally raise things like this

Abfinest007:
Why didn't you confront Dem at first

I'd never forgot that I was sooo depressed during the period. Like so down, and just wanted to keep the peace, but it was after she showed randomly at my apartment, that I got worked. I actually did call the "friend's partner" who told me that she stopped talking to this ex for some weird reason that does not relate to me. Truth is now this partner is trying to be friends with me but it is really irritating me knowing fully well that there was a time when gossipping about me was her bread and tea.

Hi Guys, Please I will make this as short as possible.

I recently ended a long-term relationship that was not working and I heard things about myself. Let me expand on this.

I had this friend who I used to tell quite some personal things, but as soon as things began to hit the rocks, the lady in question went to this guy who began to "give her advise" and say things that really did bring me down. To add, she became "best friends" with his partner and then began to gossip about me.

Honestly, one thing they don't know is that at the time the relationship was ending, I was extremely depressed and unable to do anything. So while the lies were being spread, the guys do not know that I was just managing myself. Just because I was putting a happy face outside, people thought I was just being a "bad guy" and of course, I was labeled the bad guy. I don't mind that tbh, but what I did not like was where their conversation led the ex to feel comfortable randomly coming to my apartment to cause issues. Cos this now even made me feel like ignoring people doesn't mean they will leave you alone

I simply went mute while all these were happening and did not say a word to anyone.

Over time, it seems she stopped talking to him since she could not get to me with it, but in my mind, I know I can't trust him again.

My annoyance now is how he now recently tries to use fake niceness to come close to me. It is simply irritating because I just hate it.
He makes sentences like "The reason for my breakup was mine and the ex's fault, basically creating narratives for me. I honestly find it irritating" In all these, he never called me to ask if I was okay or to confirm the validity of any of the rumors said, he just concluded.

My annoyance is how he thinks we are still friends after these because I know how I am feeling deep inside.

What is holding me now is that I really want to confront him and his partner and ask them to back off from my life but I don't know how to do it. I know I can handle a lot of things but not this type.

For me personally, I find them as a very fake set of people because he doesn't know I have way too many secrets about him which his partner disclosed when she was gossipping with my ex. I mean secrets and stuff that I found horrible as well. I now find it weird that since the ex has left them all from her life, they are trying to use fakeness to get close to me again.

I just feel infuriated and want to confront them. What is the best way? Crazy how that incident now makes me watch who shows up at my place because now it seems like I have to be watching my surroundings.

Question is should I confront them or now. I really don't want to continue talking to them unless I let this out. They remind me of it.