My Bella don go��
I like segun but I need my old Bella back . I hope biggie mixes up housemates next week ah.

blackpanthar:


COLE? wow, you really should calm down o, lot's of promising young people like you make mistakes with relationships that they regret later, I feel you can still work things out with cole.

Asides that, I do hope you read relationship books or at least watch people like kinglsey okonkwo on youtube because he teaches mature stuff on relationships.

I was just wondering if you have tried putting down your thoughts and fantasies in written words.
See, stop for a moment and evaluate your journey in life, relationships are very key to making progress, you can not be an ISLAND for too long.

Why not get a friend that can listen to your weird moments and help you balance it with reality. I mean a FEMALE friend.

I do hope you write about what's up with you in your nairaland diary often so you offload the stress.

Nah...Cole is a user,there was more to him I didn't talk about cos I didn't want it to seem like I'm already taking sides on who I really wanted to be with... cos I wasn't.
I've never felt better... I'm happy he came and left.

Yeah I write alot...I enjoy writing...I've been writing about it since my js3... It's more like a fictional story tho...but when I start writing about it,I tend to start spicing it up and making things up which technically wouldn't be a lie since the whole thing was already unreal.
Writing about it doesn't really help getting me to stop...it sure does make me feel better tho.


I'm the worst person to be friends with,I'm really secretive and I don't like going out...the few friends I have and value..I get jealous when I see them with other friends.

I will consider watching okonkwo on YouTube...thanks for your time and advice...I really appreciate this.

falcon01:
you are not OK, dont listen to him, You need therapy, The people in your head grew too that's a serious issue right there, it's not like you ain't attached to the world, but you have a whole new world In your head which is not normal. normally by 12 13 this Imaginary people start disappearing but yours grow older. You need to talk to someone.

I'm pretty sure they'll take me for deliverance if I tell my dad about this...and that costs money..my dad already has enough on his plate and I won't bother him.
My lil sis thinks I'm weird...she's sees me in those state often times and doesn't know what's wrong with me so I'm guessing things like that doesn't happen to her.

blackpanthar:


you are perfectly OK,
You actually didn't become like this INSTANTLY.... it grew gradually over time.

See, you are evolving and IT IS NOT OVER YET.

You need to really make new friends and chat with people who have similar or different experiences, all I'm saying is YOU NEED BETTER EXPOSURE.

Before you hit 28 or get married, I strongly believe you will be BALANCED.

Time management is also another issue for you, so you need a guide or mentor to help you through this PHASE.

Your Impulsive HOT TEMPER can be altered with music and calm response.

You are simply GROWING out from your "own world".

Just allow others into your life and you will see things differently gradually.
Storm665 pls cut off from STAN, stick with COLE and be faithful.

Just let the past be the past.... MOVE ON TOTALLY and live a FULL and FRESH life.

Thank you for this...I have no friends just few and none of them are close to me..nobody really knows I'm going through this.
I'm quite a secretive person.


Thank you again... I've moved on from Stan...things also didn't work out with me and Cole.

exynos:
How is your Life with Christ?

The problem you're facing may not be ordinary.

Um my dad is very religious and I go to church every Sunday but tbvh with you, I have my doubts about God's existence so yeah...Not so good.

blackpanthar:


you are perfectly OK

It doesn't feel like it but thanks❤️

I'm a 19 year old Nigerian girl,it took me long to realize I might have a serious problem.

Since I was as little as I can remember,I've always been the odd one in my family...I have 4 siblings but was the only introvert...although growing up has made me a little bit more exposed and used to being around people.
But I still think I have a problem:

*I easily get distracted:the reason is because I have this huge fantasy in my head on the kind of world I would love to fit in...I've been having this fantasy since I was 14 or 15... and it feels so real for me to the extent that now I'm 19 the people in my head all grew up.
I really don't know how to explain it but it's really weird..in my little world I have no worries,I'm happily married with kids and I have a huge extended family...most times when I'm in the real world and I feel depressed I immediately Chanel my imagination to this other world and it makes me feel good...this makes me get distracted alot especially academically.

*I have this weird habit of running or being in motion when I'm in this world: it gets crazier when I listen to music...I forget myself and start running around my room or jogging or jumping or something when I start having this weird imaginations.

*I have mood swings:this might be normal for most people these days but I have a feeling mine is different

*I don't enjoy being happy for too long:this symptom is new, it started when I lost my mum and since then, if something good starts happening in my life I always feel so pessimistic and it feels like it will never last long.

*I get suicidal/death thoughts atleast once everyday:I'm not exaggerating...it just comes as a "what if" thought.
I'm on a car (what if there will be an accident)
I'm cutting with a knife(what if you bleed yourself to death)
Looking through my balcony(what if you fall off and die)...and many more.

*I enjoy dark humor: I love watching movies where people die especially the good people...I love dark jokes and I always laugh when I see people get hurt.


So I looked some of these things up especially the fantasy and running while imagining things ...and what I saw was ADHD but it only happens to children.
So I don't know if it's what I have ...maybe I'm being overdramatic and that's how most people actually are?

Heartbender:
That guy is smart. He'll be the third entanglement

Lol
You're wrong tho.... I spoke to his wife and she sure gave me solid advice.
Thanks for your comment sha...I'll still be looking forward to other people's opinion

Rukkydelta:
How are you sure Stan doesn't have another girl?
Because his attitude to commit, speaks something fishy to me.

The truth is Stan doesn't love you, he just uses you as his emotional rock, someone to lay his frustrations of what transpired between him and his ex.
The truth is both guys are likely not your life partner. You are still young and will definitely meet other amazing men in your journey of life, so buzz up and ditch Stan from your life cos the dude is so immature and manipulative trying to use the emotions you have for him against you.

I know it's going to be hard cause he is your first love plus the one that deflowered you and you may feel he has a part of you because of that, but the truth he can't hold a part of you if you set yourself free for him.

Out of sight is out of mind so cut off every form of communication with the Stan guy for your own sanity.

For Cole, you don't know much about him but I will say you should give him a try because he seems to be more matured and know what he wants from you.

My final advice is to build yourself
Focus on your education and try to groom yourself to be a better woman. Don't carry love and relationship so much in head cos it might ruin a part of you.

People fall in love and also fall out of love so don't hold feelings so dear. Remember you can control who you love and who you don't
Date but with a sense, commit only to the one who wants to be committed and knows what he wants.
I am team celibate though but I will advise if you want to be having sexual intercourse, be sure the guy is into you for real because there are many sex-starved guys out there.

I wish you the best dear.

Thank you so much... This really means a lot to me

SaintXto:
Sms your number to this number (08173953114)

I copied paste this to my gf... She gave me her option and advice but insist on speaking with you... Want ya to call her asap...

OK thanks I'll text her

baralatie:
my issue is Feb 2020 This is when there was lockdown because of covid 19.
and a guy called you over from where you are residing to crash at his place for sex.OK

Thank God you are alive and well

We were still I'm school...I went to his lodge.
Schools suspended on march..I think

trueguy573:
The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. Girl, you shouldn't rush into romantic relationships especially at your age right now. Your priority should be your education and your future. Don't damage your future on the bed of emotional gratification. Your ill relationship is a dust to your eye, covering the bright future you have. Let both men go. They are just using you. God knows who belongs in your life and who doesn’t. Trust and let go. Whoever is meant to be there, will still be there. Moreover, Never let your feelings get too deep, people can change at any moment.

thank you
I truly appreciate

fayded:
calm down..
Skul never start yet na why all ds things dey happen.
When skul start and u start interacting and meeting people, you'd be busy.
Shey na 100lvel u Dey?? And unizik?? Calm down, stress go reset u.
What course u studying though?

food science and tech

DemonInvoker:
Matters of the Heart are resolved by the Heart.
That's why the Bible says we should Guide our Hearts with all diligence.
Wether you like it or not Okafu's Law must take effect at one point or the other.
Na so e be.
Just free your mind and fvck to your satisfaction then when you start to feel more matured and start to think with your head.
After all na your Heart you don dey follow since.
There should be no Regrets.

Thanks dear... But I don't want anything that will ruin my life later on...I can't be fvvking to my satisfaction I just want one person in my life and it's hard to decide

Hi,my name is storm665 I'm an active member here but I had to create a new account for this cos I'm well aware how judgmental we humans can be.
I'm 19(turned 19 mid last month)and in my year1 in NAU of Nigeria..I'm a very reserved person and I have only few friends but how I got myself in this situation is what I don't know.
It happened that last year September I went to write my PUTME I met this guy(Stan)he really got my attention and I must admit,I was the one that gave him the stare that probably made him feel free to talk to me...I won't dwell on so much details but moving on the next month..
We've become very good friends and I've learnt so much about him,he made it clear to me that he recently broke up with his girlfriend (around that September that I met him)and he hasn't totally gotten over her...even with my persistence to make him mine he still had some reserved way he talks and touches me...probably didn't want to lead me on.but as time went by,he probably grew feelings and I know this cause he stopped talking about his ex all of a sudden(mind you,I never made him stop talking about her) and then he suddenly became the one craving for me and not the other way round.. Fast forward to February... 12th to be precise, he invited me to sleep over at his place and that was when we had sex...after that he stopped talking to me even after knowing he was my first... It broke me and I sent him a text to let him know... He called back almost immediately telling me how he feels bad for what he did and how much he still thinks about "her"..I vowed to stop talking to him but my heart could only take it for a few months... After few months we came to good terms again (this time around we couldn't see each other cos of the covid ish)and our bond became stronger... Or so I thought.
I noticed the way he replies my text so formal and casual so I had to ask him to define our relationship... He still kept going on and on about how he's still getting to know me and all...that "we're not dating but we're definitely something" his exact words.
I had to move on ...cause on the other hand,all these while that we've been having undefined relationship,there was this guy that has made his feelings known(Cole)...he was much different cos he is very much older than Stan, he is 26,a lawyer with a job and a house while Stan is 20 ,still in his 3rd level.
I took my time b4 I accepted him...cos I didn't want things to get messy.
I called Stan and I told him about my new relationship but unfortunately he didn't take it well...he went almost crazy, giving me voice notes on watsapp,crying and telling me how I broke him...in his words"this was what I was trying to avoid in the first place"....."I don't want my heart broken again"...I cried too and I felt like I betrayed him...he blamed himself at some point for not"claiming" me when he had the chance to.
I visited him once after the whole ish ...and I felt complete with him ...one thing led to another and we kissed... He wanted more but I declined, as if my conscience judging me was not enough... "Cole"(my boyfriend) called me asking where I was....I had to come back only to see his car parked in front of my house...he was mad and I have no idea why...or how he knows my excuse were lies but said I shouldn't call him till I tell him the truth about my whereabouts.
So I told him and,oh lord he didn't take it well...from then till yesterday we never spoke...he called today apologizing for overreacting but still needed to know what I've been hiding from him..
I care about him a lot and would never want to hurt him but my heart belongs to "Stan" and at this point it's like me having to choose between going for my heart or using my head.
I know this p0st is long but trust me...I've never been in this situation and I don't know how to get out of it...please help a sister
Thank you.[color=#550000][/color][b][/b]