₦airaland Forum

lefulefu:
haha he no need uppercut abeg. All he needs is to be brought back to his sanity and dragged back to walk the path of manhood by the brotherhood.he's still quite young and feeling the sweetness of loving someone and the girl is taking advantage of his naivity.make im build his confidence and self esteem back and the manipulative web wey d girl don pull over am go break off.

Thank you bruh.. That's why I brought diz issue here

lefulefu:
i very much agree with the one about self esteem. Op really needs to build his self esteem but d one about d babe being above his level i fit no agree with that. There are instances wey a babe wey dey sell agbo go even dey form kim kardeshian over a guy wey dey track her. Na how a man take act towards a woman go make d woman know d way she go treat am.when a man acts too desperate and treats d woman like d woman is doing him a big favour talking to him the woman go waka all over his head and manipulate am to her satisfaction.

I won't lie this situation has really dealt with my self esteem... It's practically at zero

lefulefu:
StrongandMighty biko dont let ur happiness depend on a woman. Haba what u feeling right now is obsessive love and obsessive love aint healthy. If u feel ur girl is not being loyal to u why not break up with her. Why allow ur heart be going thru such emotional turmoil. If ur mind is telling u she aint faithful then she aint faithful abeg. U are young and still got time ahead of you. Just flex around and enjoy urself with girls.

Bruh are you suggesting that I shud brk up with her?

Tripleclick:
First of all.. I think the girl you are in love with is not within your level.
Secondly I think you have low self esteem
Thirdly... You need to dish been too much emotional.. Thats how guys get easily manipulated by girls

Another thing is ..you seems not financially OK.. You need a get a job.


Build your value man.

Bruh please wat do u mean by she's not within my level

Ghnaija:
Yea stop worrying, maybe na u dey think dat way,e fit be say she no even get that kind mind.just slow down e fit be say u dey always chat am when she dey busy, by now u suppose know when to chat am, e fit be say she dey work, so bro no over think am pls

God bless you bruh

Alexaonfleek:
Dear, that's insecurity you're feeling. You sound like this is your first relationship or you've probably been heartbroken before
I'll advise you to talk to to her about it and anytime she doesn't reply a text or call find something else to do to keep your mind off it.

This is not my first relationship nida have I been hrt broken B4.. Maybe she's d one I've truly loved

MichaelBukamzy:
you no know? you wan tell woman your weak point? why dafuk are u bearing strongandmighty while you act weakandconquered. where is the man in you?

I lost the man in me nd that's wat am trying to get bk

delugajackson:
The irony of all these is that his name is "strongandmighty" but in reality, he's as weak as china battery. As at the time he was writing this book of lamentations, the girl was lying comfortably in her bed, laughing and smiling in her sleep while he was losing precious sleep over her. Them suppose flog nonsense comot for him body.

Baba pity me nah... No be me do myself like this..
Believe me this isn't the real me.. Am Stil wondering wat happened to me.. Why I got myself 2 this point

MichaelBukamzy:
guy,you are a man.you got the key,use your brain. all those girls advising you to let her know that she is your heart beat(as u made us know)if she finds out that you are drowning like you said,and you really need her to survive,samson and delilah will be your case. besides,at your early twenty when you are not ready for courtship,you are dating a girl that is still blossoming without a plan B? YOUR MIND DEY TELL YOU SAY NA ONLY YOU SHE GET?hahahaha,get ready for the shocker. am your age mate,and just like many other guys of our age,we don pass this level.

Hmmm.. weda am d only guy in her life or not honestly I don't know..
I was also skeptical about telling her my present situation.. It cud mk matters worst

Maduawuchukwu:
Nope u are not in deep poo. The traits were in you. Something just brought it out. Try to ignore it but if you can't then pay a visit to the doctor. It is nothing.

OK thanks.. I'll try my best to ignore it

Maduawuchukwu:
If you have fear of dying you will be disturbed by thoughts that you are gonna die.
If you have fear of being cheated on you will be disturbed by thoughts that you are being cheated on.
Anything you fear will disturb you.
The solution is to stop looking for certainty. Stop asking questions and go with the flow.

I understand ur point... You should also understand that it hasn't been easy for me dats why I brought it here

KingErnesto:
Forgive me. But you need to know your worth and add more value to urself.

That's so true.. I think low self esteem is part of my problem

MariaLavina:
Search Google, read articles and books on it. Be careful to filter what you read though, don't end up reading books on red pills and bad boy stuff. Those won't help, be wise enough to read articles that will make you a better person in life not a bad boy of the moment.


You have to make a choice, a burdened heart or a free heart? As for the lady, speak to her. Tell her what's going on, involve her. She may be of better help and break up may be evitable. But you need some space.

Thanks so much ... I never knew I'll be doing diz
Am not a bad boy nd I'll nva be.. I spent 5yrs in university without being one so it certainly won't strt now..
I will talk to her about it

KingErnesto:
A wise man once said "if you have not found satisfaction in the Love of God, you cannot find it in a partner". If you're a believer you need to envelop your mind n thoughts more on the things of God to know him better. You're feeling what u feel because there's a vacuum and it's telling u a lie. You're living a life of illusion, it's high time u break free and be disillusioned.

OP you have to guard your heart with all diligence. Take a break and keep your mind busy with things that can add more value to YOURSELF. You don't know your worth that's why you are dieing to the fear of REJECTION. You're a shame. spits.

A nyc write up without a good ending.. Tnkz doh

MichaelBukamzy:
oga,reduce her importance to your life.reduce your texts,calls and occupy your mind with more important issues. always dey with ur guys. they will help u talk more on premier league,hustling,identifying bitches,betting.highness and many more meaningfull arguements. guy man up nah,stop being a pussy.

Thanks bruh.. I wasn't like this B4.. Am even surprised at what am doing ryt now.. I wonder how I got to this point

Ghnaija:
Bro I can see a lot of nice response here, but let me put it this way what of if she is not having this kind of tought also ,you just dey suffer yourself for nothing if she is urs she is.if she is not she will surely go so why stress yourself over nothing. Bro most of us don pass break ups but we moved on. Pls take it easy

So in ur opinion I should stop worrying.. What will be will be

SlayQueenSlayer:
And they said love is a beautiful thing o.

Yes it is... Wen u get bk d amount of energy you give out.. Wen it's been reciprocated in equal proportion

Manpoly:
Bruh I need 2 get my old self back.. I was so happy and full of life when this girl wasn't there.. But see me now.. Am drowning

try wat I told u to do first.. let's see aw it works before d week runs out....and if doesn't we will find another way for u ...just ask her later today....and clear urself...u will see u will sleep well and u might gain her trust back

OK bro.. I'll keep in touch with you
I hope it works bcuz ur boy is drowning in diz pool called love

MichaelBukamzy:
bia nwoke m,why are u stressing her nah? she has already given u tangible advice and tips on how to go about this,and you aint getting it. A girl you aint married to,stole your heart,mind,sanity and focus and you still dont wanna retrieve them with the numerous tips dished out here. if you are this insecure now,what will happen if u eventually get married to her. You are afraid of conducting an fbi investigation because,u are afraid of your greatest fear.u get luck say men like biafrabushboy,donstan18,lefulefu,delugajackson,mimimile93 no dey,dem for give u beta uppercut Dey there make pant dey wear u,yabaleft dey lack patients sha.

Am not afraid of conducting any investigation just that I don't know how to go abt it.. It's not as easy as it seems

Maduawuchukwu:
I think you have got limerence. It is obsessive romantic thoughts. You are not in love. You merely have what is called OCD which causes compulsive thoughts about what you care about the most. It happens to me too.
Try to distract yourself or if it is unbearable you can go see a doctor and get anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications.
Welcome to the club bro!!!!!

This is my first time of hearing this... And with the way it sounds it looks like I've gotten myself in a deep mess

Saff:
Young and dumb. You’ll get over it.

I might agree with you that am young bt I'm not dump.. I was so caught up in situation.. If getting over it is dat easy why haven't I gotten over it despite all my efforts

MariaLavina:
You are too emotionally vulnerable to be in a relationship. It's one thing to grow in stature, age, academics, finance etc, it is another thing to Grow emotionally. If a lady or anyone can get you to lose your sleep, mind and happiness then it shows though you are emotionally sensitive, you are not emotionally intelligent.

Emotional intelligence is the capacity to control your emotions. The ability to interact/ react to people in a refined and composed manner irrespective of how tenuous the situation may be. The ability to control your thoughts. I think you need to master that.

I'd suggest you talk to your lady, let her see your problem and request for a break. Believe me you can't solve your problem when you are in it. A clear break is required here. Focus and work on yourself and be a better person. 23 is the age to grow not the time to add burden of another. Relationship itself is draining.

[s]God! Thank you so so much for this! That emotional intelligence is wat got me nd it explained my situation.. Do you of a place where I can read abt it more nd secondly my greatest fear is hrt break nd now u told me to ask her for a brk.. Please how will I go abt it?[/s]

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
keep busy.

Honestly it's not working

Manpoly:
U seem to understand my situation better.. I've engaged in many activities just to get my mind off her but still it's not working, my mind will always find a way 2 remind me of her nd wen it does the tot of her will nva leave my mind again..

lol am in yr shoes too presently... I hardly sleep too...but wen I play with my family.... I forget about d babe.... I guess it's because u are bored and u don't want to cheat on d babe

Bruh I need 2 get my old self back.. I was so happy and full of life when this girl wasn't there.. But see me now.. Am drowning

MariaLavina:
Work on yourself sir. you are the problem

How please.. I need to know how I'm d problem

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Sha don't do anything irrational if your fears become real.

Please what's your advice.. That's the only thing I need most ryt now

Saff:
how old are you

Am 23

Manpoly:
y u stressing urself like this... this nigga..a girl denied u of sleep.I won't deceive u into channelling ur energy into money cuz it won't work ...just ask her if she loves or she doesn't and if she is cheating or not....and if u want to switch ur emotions d best way is ur family... try to communicate with them more and ur true nigga ..and see aw ur life will b balanced bro

U seem to understand my situation better.. I've engaged in many activities just to get my mind off her but still it's not working, my mind will always find a way 2 remind me of her nd wen it does the tot of her will nva leave my mind again..

MariaLavina:
Then proof it !
Call her, ask her, investigate.

Life is too short to be living in despair!

I've asked her several times and she says No.. I don't even know how to go abt the investigation

Saff:
Oga this love is not healthy. You seem very possessive and obsessed. I don’t know what to say other than be patient. What’s in the dark will come to light, if she’s cheating you will find out, that’s how the universe works. The only other alternative is to ask her, or do some fbi research. If you’re not ready to leave this babe, then do not search for something you can’t handle.

I've asked her several times and she says no.. That there's no point cheating when she knows she can walk out of d relationship if the feelings re no longer.. She tells me abt guys that are after her.. The ones she feels like telling me oh and it makes matters worst

MariaLavina:
I think you should let go, get your space, brain and senses back from where love threw it. Most importantly grow up.



Relationship isn't a do or die thing, when you are strong enough to handle one, you can start all over.

Where will I get that energy to let go from? She has never for once told me that she doesn't want me anymore.. Juz that my instinct won't let me be

Saff:
4am you’re typing this? This is serious, love has really finished you.

As at that early morning I was typing this... I couldn't sleep bcuz I was just thinking about her... Am in emotional torture every single seconds, minutes of d day... I'll agree with you that love has finished me completely.. All I need now is help.. Am slowly dying inside while physically am deteriorating