Dygeasy:
Think beyond the sex, think beyond his looks. First steps to freeing yourself.

Tbh if it was just sex or looks I would have been moved on a long time ago. He might not treat me well in the sense of our relationship but there is so much more to him. Things that I admire and that's why I've been reluctant to let go. It pains my heart that so many think that it must be the sex. I'm not that shallow.

0luwatope:
Issokay, i stand to be corrected because am only a teen but this is what i do before i go into any relationship. I baricade my heart and create a love limit for my partner, i hope for the best and always expect the worst. People change and so do their feelings. Someone that means everything to you today may be totally useless tommorow. Why let that inner foolishness of love control you in the first place? Am sorry you might not be able to forget it because memories last forever but what might help u is to stop being alone, move with your funny friends, crazy friends, when you are alone, u get depressed so try to be with a crazy or stubborn friend for sometime....

I agree with so much of what you said. You may be just a teen but you express yourself with wisdom. Hoping for the best but being prepared for the worse will probably save me a lot of future heartache. I'm not going to barricade my heart though because that can cause you to shut good people out unless by "barricade" you mean being more vigilant about who I let in an when. If so that's solid advice. Thanks.

AnyibestDede:
What u need to do is to ask urself what u really want. I knw is not easy but u hv to start frm somewhere and try to convince urself that he is the wrong guy 4 u. Open ur heart to a nice guy and try to 4get abt anything that reminds u of ur ex. I wish u luck

Thanks a lot. I'll give the "open my heart to a nice guy" thing a much bigger effort next time around.

swtdrms:
Sincerely its not easy dropping this guy because i have a clear understanding of what you are going thru, i thnk i'v experienced too many "bad good and ugly" things to see into how hard it is to depart from him. That being said, you first of all have to be convinced he is completely d wrong guy, cuz if that conviction isn't there, any little disappointment from other guy will make him be like "after all he's better than so many guys out there" and you'll be tempted to accept him back.

Secondly, avoid his terrain, try avoid him as much as you can. Any innocent contact, seeing each other will strike back the good memories you had with him, from there the resistance you'v been trying to develop either crumbles immediately or begin to crumble. (how i wish i can tell a small story what my experience was but no time)

Thirdly, get your life going, mix with people, friends, relation, inshort get busy, try avoid loneliness and boredom, because these are the factors that'll strike back that fun memories you both had, and to make matter worse, if his call come in at that moment and he talk some sweet words into your heart, ehn! thats a bomb ooooo, you'll just be like, i can't just leave this guy, thereby deceiving yourself that he'll change ds time around. Babe na lie oooo, em no go change.

With these three steps, i thnk in a short while you would have freed yourself from his shackles although not completely but to a great extend where you'll be ready for another guy, hopefully more reasonable and responsible guy to enter your heart.

I wish you all the best and hope your next prospect will be a joyous, happy and fruitful one. free your mind, spirit and heart and enjoy the good things of life.

You have made so many truthful statements here, I don't even know where to start. Thanks so much. A lot of this I know in my heart but it really helps when someone helps put it in perspective for you. Much respect.

raayah:
You have to be an adult in this situation and realize that this relationship is unhealthy for you.

No one is going to force you to leave him.

Be honest with yourself. Grow a pair and stop contacting this man. Give it time and you will be able to get over yourself.
I will also advice you to love yourself. If you love yourself, its easier for you to be more honest with yourself and you will want to do the right thing for yourself.

You can end this relationship.

Find your inner strength.

"Unhealthy" is definitely the right word. I hear you loud and clear. Thanks for being honest.

kilokeys:
He know how press your mumu button

I guess so

xpac01:
Every sense in me tells me the that se.x with the guy has been sweet and this sleazy honey moments haa got a strong grip on your soul. Infact you're scared that you might not meet some other guy as good in the sack.

My dear open up your heart and give a green light to another nice guy, and watch how you drop this muchicanaso like some hot spoilt yam.

It's not just about the sex. I've tried giving the green light to someone else. Guess I need to try harder.

I'm in this terrible situation and don't know how to drag myself out of it. I met this guy 5 years ago and we've dated off and on since then. He's always a bit detached and distant in the relationship and I'll admit he's done some pretty messed up things to me. This relationship causes me a lot of anxiety, frustration and heartaches but still I love him.Our last break up was a year ago and it was the worst of all. I don't want to make this too long so I won't go in to detail but it was so bad that for months I hated him, pure hatred and swore I would never speak to him again but he has a hold on me that I can't explain and here I am pining away for him again knowing fully well if I give in I'd be making a fool of myself.

What is this grip that he has on my heart? It's just not natural how much I love this idiot that keeps mistreating me. I've tried to date another guy but couldn't make it work because I'm still stuck on my ex. I never thought I'd be in this situation and usually I'm a very level headed and rational person. I'm usually very careful about not accepting any form of abuse from anyone but when it comes to him, all good sense goes out the door. I need some big sis and big bro advice from you guys. How do I shake this stupidity aka love off?

skyfullofstars:


Wow, this is so interesting. And can it be passed from adults to babies? For example, if the father has the disease, and they have a child, can the baby have the disease from birth? Thank u so much

Yes babies can get the gene if the parents have it. The severity of the babies Sickle Cell (if they get it) depends on the genotype of both parents. Sometimes a baby may have traits of the disease but not the full blown disease. There are a lot of factors that determine whether or not the gene gets passed on and to what extent.

Not everyone that admires your light deserves your shine aka some men/women are just not worth your time. Don't stick around and hope it gets better. If there are early warning signs that you won't get along as a couple just leave before investing more time and emotion and prolonging the hurt.

It's just jewelry. The waist beads are cultural/ traditional jewelry and people have attached a lot of connotations (some negative) to them, but the truth is these days its decorative. That's my opinion though.

skyfullofstars:
Hello everybody! I'm not from Nigeria, and I don't know much about sickle cell. Can you explain me what it is? I read about it on the internet, but the medical articles I found were too technical for me.

I would like to know whether it's contagious, or in this case why the family wouldn't accept the lady if she has the disease. What are the problems?

Thank you so much

It's a genetic (hereditary) disorder that affects the red blood cells. Instead of being a concave disc shape the cells are sickle (half moon) shaped. Hence the name "sickle cell". The shape of the cells caus them to clump together and get stuck in vessels. This affects blood flow and oxygen transport around the body. If cells don't get the oxygen they need a lot of unfortunate things begin to happen in the body including unbearable pain and severe anemia.

That's an explanation to the best of my knowledge. There's a lot more accurate information out there.

It won't be an easy road but if you love her and think it's worth it I say go for it. the biggest concerns would be the likelihood of bringing children in to the world that have sickle cell and managing through her times of illness that may come in the future. She is a woman that deserves to be loved regardless of her genotype and you deserve to be with the person you love. Pray, pray and pray some more. God can do all things. Trust him and ask him for the answers and guidance you need in this situation.

Fulaman198:


As long as the gap isn't too much, it's ok. Fulani people really care about their teeth you know, so I'm not used to the whole gap thing ROFL.

You know you're wrong for that one lol gap teeth have nothing to do with care.

sassychic:
I actually like mine
My aunt says its the only similarity I have with my mom's side

You know I kinda like mine too but the pressure to have straight, perfect teeth is real. Especially since I live in the U.S. People here aren't fans of the gap.

Fulaman198:
I'm not a fan of gap teeth. I'm a fan of white teeth though

What about beautiful, straight pearly whites with a nice small gap? Does the gap take away from everything else?

Chiam55:
My dentist offered to close mine as a child and my mother was offended. I think it's African culture. In East africa we believe it to be a sign of luck. I've heard a woman with a gap tooth has high sexual appetite. I've got dimples to add to my gap and it's beautiful when I smile

I've heard about it being a sign of luck and of having a high sexual drive too. I've also heard its a sign of fertility.

zigger:
They say any naija girl with front gap teeths are more attractive and beautiful but i will soon get rid of ma own

Why? Isn't it the same for men?

I noticed that when I told my friends that I'm considering braces to get rid of the small gaps in my teeth most told me I'm crazy and it's beautiful while some were indifferent and others encouraged it. I know some aspects of beauty can be cultural so I ask here. Do you think front teeth gaps are attractive or something that should be fixed?

Emteebee:
Do away with religion. It's rubbish. Life is short. Enjoy it to the fullest instead of limiting yourself to some bullshit laws by some man-god

I don't consider myself religious. I don't blindly follow prescribed rules, instead I have a close and personal relationship with Christ and won't trade that for anyone or anything. I've been a part of this world long enough to know what works and what doesn't. Thank you for your response.

kay1one2:
No battle is won on wishes. Fight the good fight of faith. Salvation has already implanted in you a victorious spirit. Now the battle lies in living that victory out.
Besides an attempt at holiness is better than an outright embrace of immortality. And there are few perfect men accept the one who would accept you the way God sees you. Saved and transformed!

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I appreciate it. I do agree with you and I plan to be a lot more intentional about living right and doing what's right even when it gets difficult. I will "fight the good fight of faith" because faith and a strong will get me through this.

AK6464:
If you want help desperately enough you will see God, be more involved in church activities. drop wrong company. God see you through,

I agree. I do need to get more involved at my church. I live in New York and honestly not a lot of young people these days have a desire for God and living a Christ centered life. I say that to say, they're aren't a lot of young people at my church so most of my interactions are with much older people and sometimes they are hard to relate to.

.