₦airaland Forum

HisRib: You can't drop your emotions. You just need to learn to control them. Practice breathing exercises. Whenever you get really emotional, breath in & let go. This relaxes your nerves.

k tnx dear

[quote author=Moonb][/quote]

[quote author=Moonb][/quote]tnx dear, rilly useful

andromida: Manage your emotions? cut them out entirely? hmmm you are not getting the point you don't manage your emotions you live them they are part of you, you appreciate that they are pointing something out to you and you look into what they are pointing out AND resolve it not ignore or dismiss it. How can you cut out your emotions entirely are you planning on becoming a zombie? just kidding. You are human and we all have emotions, everyday of our lives we live through them. So you want to feel only happiness,joy,comfort,peace etc well welcome to reality where there are moments of sadness, tough times, hard decisions etc

Consider life an adventure not a burden.

I see you blaming your parents for something about good love. Honestly you cannot blame anyone for any choice you make. Personal responsibility is a great thing and that is how you learn how to become a great man you don't live for others not even your parents. Lets get serious here if your parents tell you to set yourself on fire you will instantly refuse them so blaming them for a choice you made is still well......your choice. You honor and respect your parents but you live for yourself because when it comes down to it its really your life. Maybe you should look into the trying to please your parents thing it could be one of the things that is eating you and causing this heaviness in your spirit. You need to find yourself, what you want and who you really are. Not to sound harsh but what i am reading between the lines is that you are a people pleaser wanting to impress your parents and others. Better cut out the act, become courageous,drop the mask just be yourself this is the road to happiness and this is how you live with your emotion.

And please how is being emotional being effeminate for a man? Human beings male and female have emotions and different personalities.

tnx dear, we'll ure ryt I was forced into many tins, choice of study,skul etc..we'll tnx for ur time I rily apreciate,I've learnt alot

Tnx everyone for ur advice,I'm actually writting then down,,u can't afford to waste ur time wit ur useful words and I won't change for good..I appreciate

Les: that bolded is so,wrong. Men and women have emotions alike but women tend to express their feelings more often than men.
Eg; if your gf catches you talking with another lady, she would make a scene there but if you catch your gf talking with another guy, even if you get jealous, you won't show it, you can go over there, greet the guy, wait for them to finish their discussion, before you go with her. You can then ask her who was that.
When a child is lost by a parent, the mama,will cry and wail but the papa won't but does that mean he us less devastated than the mum"? No, he's just controlling it like a man.
The fact you have emotions make you human, the fact you control it makes you a man. Try and be a man.
I hate long stories but I hope that helps.

tnx so much bro

vizboy: when it comes to been emotional am also like that, but fact is you have to learn to control it.

For me when I become emotional I always do one thing which is put on my music set dance a little bit to take my mind off that thing.

When you become emotional try to find something you know you love to do in other to take your mind off that thing

It works well for me. And learn to think with your head.

I listen to hardcore sometimes,kinda helps

[quote author=Les]not really. The problem is not your emotions and feelings but you not knowing how to let go. I bet when someone hurts you, you wouldn't forgive easily. One funny thing is that negative thoughts lingers more in your mind more than positive I really don't know what you do but it plays a big role herer.I forgiv easily,bt negativity lingerin more? Hmm fear of d unknown

HisRib: I see. You need to learn how to control your emotions. And you also need to understand, things aren't always as bad as they seem. You are creating unnecessary stress in your life. Just live and leave the rest to God.

There's something I do whenever I'm under a lot of stress or highly emotional; I take a deep breath and I let go. This always helps me. Next time you find yourself worried about something, just take really deep breath and let go, and you will feel so much better.

If you are a Christian, I would suggest asking God to help you control your emotions.

I speak emotional stability into your life in the name of JESUS!

amen dear,,bt learning hw to control ur emotions and learning to drop emotions, which would produce more results?

Les: word
and please, try occupying your mind cause your mind will never remember who died or when if it was busy solving some calculus, ASUU please help us ooooo.

lol ASUU is nt really helping,,and hw do u knw I solve calculus,I'm actually a mathematician,ya my course

Les: how should men do?? Don't be deluded. You are not too emotional, you don't just let things go, this can draw you back in life. Try to let go, it's the fastest way to move forward.
word

do u think I dnt rili hav too much of a problem?most pipul wud reason dat I'm effeminate,and de mgt nt be so wrong,a woman shud be d one wit so much emotions

andromida: You mean someone close to you died? Sorry for your loss. You mean your parents didn't care for you? or you just along the line while growing up believe you are unlovable.? Its always a loss when we lose the love of someone dear to us. Your post is confusing you mentioned seriously involved and separating so i am assuming a break down in your relationship with a loved one. That can be shattering especially if it cannot be mended, the best thing to do is to grief the loss. Don't rush into another relationship, i believe there are a lot of things going on here maybe from childhood trauma to this present loss,it seems to me you may have been stuffing your feelings for a long time and now everything is erupting. This is my advice let it spill, don't stuff it anymore let it all out. If you feel like crying- cry it does not make you less of a man it just means you are crying because you are in pain. Do this when you are alone sha. You don't want to spill the whole story so there is a limit to the advise you will get no one can know whats going on with you unless you speak out.

tnx dear,I'm very lovable, dia are somtins our parents mosttimes do,de tink its in our interest bt rili de are depriving us of good love.ya a lot of tins went tru my childhood,trauma I may say,and I tink it really affected my way of reasonin nw. Bt nw I dnt knw if I shud live my life and try to manage d emotions, or just try to cut them out entirely,is it posible?

Evy E: its fine bra. dont be too hard on yourself. i used to be like that too. i used to stress about everything. even if something did not really need my attention. Just take it 1 day at a time. When you wake up talk to yourself and make it an effort to pass a day without being too emotional and really praise yourself if the day passes and u did not act up. When u find your self loosing it during the day just quickly pause and debate it in your mind as if u r talking to your friend. come up with a solution at that time and if its something u can't solve just lv it or postpone. I still find my self snapping sometimes but yoh i really really try so just take it 1 step at a time

tnx dear

andromida: Instead of burying your emotions, explore them fully usually your emotions are pointing to something that you need to look into instead of burying them or ignoring them and proving to be macho try and let it flow, when you let it flow you learn how to control it, you learn yourself and eventually you master yourself. Because you feel things deeply does not make you a weak man.

Give an example of an event that made you think you are too emotional. How were you brought up?

i once lost someone very close to me,its d first and only time I've lost a close dear person,its been 2yrs nw, bt its stil like yesterday,I try nt to tink abwt it,bt I jus cnt help it.I was brought up in a way dat made me believe no one should care for me,bt nw wen some1 does ,it seems so unusual and wen I'm seriously involved,it gets hard to seperate even if I knw dat ill surely be seperated one day,I can't just reason in dat direction

HisRib: Hi Dear,

Can you please explain these emotions in detail?

wen I get attached to a particular thing,I find it so hard to forget abwt dat tin,be it place,event etc, wen I remember sad events I jus go into a very sober mood, wen I remember good times,I wish de can com bak again,I'll ponder on dem and wit d realization dat it can't com bak again,I becom sober,I'm jus too sensitive abwt some tins,sometimes I worry abwt tins dat others wudnt,I ponder abwt so many tins, existence,why I'm here on earth,y I'm from a particular race.wen I read some philosophical articles my mind jus goes into excitement of wonderin hw pleasant it is,I tink of a happy life happy world,wen I can't find everytin bein happy around me,I go into a sober mood,I could go on and on,jus dat I'm jus sensitive to anytin I'm seriously attached to

Dannylux: You shouldn't wish to stop being you. Don't strive to live someone else's life.

This isn't weakness per se, you were made that way for a reason. The one work you need to do is to know the limits.

Embrace it but always use your head when it's time for business.

tnx danny

Adex097: Horror Movies would help

*evil grin*

how would dat help

Enegod: I'm not emotional

k tank u

Sammywalex: Dude! I can see emotions and feminism in ur name 'sweetestguy'. U can start bin tough by changing that name.

my name has notin to do wit dat, I wasn't d one dat even gave mysef dat name,peeps jus popularized it and it stuck

Les: still not precise, how does your past make u emotional, like when you remember IT, if bad, you gon start crying but if good, you begin shout for joy?

we'll I dnt cry, wen I rememba a sad event,I fell moody, wen its good,I jus wish d memories can com bak to reality which stil meks me moody, wen I feel a lover hasn't shown so much care,I fell bad, I'm jus tired,its jus as if my happiness depends on some factors which wen not there, soberness sets in. men shudnt behave dis way

Les: still not precise, how does your past make u emotional, like when you remember IT, if bad, you gon start crying but if good, you begin shout for joy?

we'll I dnt cry, wen I rememba a sad event,I fell moody, wen its good,I jus wish d memories can com bak to reality which stil meks me moody, wen I feel a lover hasn't shown so much care,I fell bad, I'm jus tired, men shudnt behave dis way

Les: Don't mind me, why do you take nairaland serious?, I guess it's you being emotional. Well, lemme help you first by asking you to be precise.
hatred is an emotion, likewise love.
humility is an emotion likewise pride. In essence, there are negative and positive emotions, Galatians chapter5; which one do you feel most?? When your friend buys a car, what do you feel?? Jealous? Envy? Happy? Or inferior cause you don't have?

no,my emotions are nt driven towards oda pipuls sucess,wat they achieve or not, it fully depends on mysef,past experiences whether sad or happy,surrounding,family.events etc, even love

Les: No be dis same guy we give olamB belly??

dat I'm following olamiB doesn't mean I'm ha bf who pregnanted ha, I jus knw ha from nairaland and followed ha, I dnt even knw much abwt ha apart from ha profile and her posts, so pls be guided

Emeralddeee: Dear, nothing is really wrong with you stop being paranoid. Being emotional shows you're human, but if you think it's affecting you negatively I'll advice you to shut your heart on those emotions, how do you do it When those emotions comes you divert it or channel your thought to something else, learn to think of different things at a time that way you don't dual on a particular thing, people who are deep thinkers tend to be more emotional than others, learn to channel negative emotions to positive ones it has to do with mind exercise. Once you've learned this technic it will go along way. I can't help further cuz I don't know how your childhood was, the environment you live in etc however there's no cause for alarm you're still young.

tnx bro, tink I got one vital point from dis, I appreciate

Enegod: start smoking weed...hope this helps!!!!

do u smoke weed ursef?

lymelyte: A thorough bred man's life comprises of 70% logic and 30% emotions.which means as a man,you must think first before you feel.
A semi-thorough bred man's life comprises of 60%logic and 40%emotions.
Lastly,an averagely thorough bred man comprises 50% logic and 50% emotion. Anything logical below the 50% mark,is termed p*ssy and it is for the ladies.
So if you find yourself below this stages that I have mentioned,then you are doomed because life nor go only wipe you for ground,Humans too will destroy u too..

thanks for ur logical explanations, I dnt think I fall into d last category at all,I tink maybe d 2nd,,,nw bro can u help me wit tips to correctin dis

Mynd_44: This is a case of your weakness being your strength

strength through weakness? Can u clarify me more pls

Chiidi: U better drop the habit, too coward and effeminate.!

My advice, Man up!!!

I knw I hav to, bt wat I need is tips on hw to drop it, and I'm nt effeminate, ill apreciate if u can give me tips

ChiSun27: Tell us your age range first.

I'm 22

This is really killing me,I'm jus way too emotional, I worry about little things that shouldn't just disturb me, I get emotions in almost evry aspect of life,ranging from family,environment,situations,skul etc, I hardly blame myself,I think its as a result of d way I was brought up,but this is really killing me.pls I need advice from professionals,pyscologists,health personnels everybody, pls Mod I beg u ,help me get this to FP.I'm really going nuts, I rily need advice & tips on how to stop this as its seriously affecting every aspect of my life,,,ill apreciate ur comments,,insults are welcomed ,I don't mind,I jus want to stop this

D fact is dat no confident very beautiful chick will ever dream of askin a guy out

nneh1: Seriously I don't understand what on earth is happening. Why must the 1st question a guy will ask a girl is how old are you without even asking her name esp all these nairaland boys. Yes I call them boys.some have not even seen you and the conversation goes
Guy; hello
Girl; good day
Guy; how are u
Girl; I'm fine and u?
Guy; how old are u??
No what is ur name,who are u etc?
Pls is this reasonable in this era or am I missing something bcs it irritates me.

I met a lady and wen we started chatting, she asked me my name age job etc? And she's a mature lady