₦airaland Forum

PremzY002:
Imagine waking up one day....

You open nairaland homepage to read headlines and you see.....

"Today is (your name and surname ) posthumous birthday".

You laughed cos it's a funny yet scary coincidence.

You read your books all night cos you still want to hit 'first class' whenever ASUU strike finally ends.

This morning, you spent some hours on 'pornhub and xvideos' in order to ease the stress you accumulated last night while reading.

You further went to your dad's room to steal some condoms needed to kill someone's daughter today (as usual).

...and an extra cash from his wallet (for postinor2) cos the girl na mumu Wey no sabI check ovulation date.

All these useless street girls.

Well....

When you reached your dad's table, you saw a burial program book with your pic on it.

According to the book, you died 2 years ago in a motor accident and was buried on December same year.

That was when you realised that you've spent up to a year roaming about on nairaland as a SPIRIT instead of the coded, alpha male, no bullshit, damn nigaaaaaar that smokes twice on a Monday and eats triple veejay (feminine pleasure hole) at same time.


Lol....

This life no balance.




P.S

in reality this is what happened (some years ago)....

A Dead customer visited our neighbours hair salon to retouch her hair.

She died the previous day in an accident and was already deposited in the mortuary.

My neighbour wasn't aware of her death.

She went ahead to fix her hair as required.
They gisted as usual.

She paid after the retouch and left.

Minutes later, someone walked in to ask her...

"Have u heard"?

Madam ... (the one that retouched her hair) is DEAD...!!!

She laughed and replied... "that woman is alive and retouched her hair minutes ago".

Together, they went to that lady's house and saw people in tears, mourning.

Truly , SHE WAS DEAD...!!!

her corpse was already in the mortuary.

But how come she came physically to her shop and had her hair retouched?

Well..... I don't have answers

The salon woman collapsed and became sick for months.

Her salon business closed up.

But she survived.

Later on , she sold off most of her salon stuffs like chairs , hair drier, etc.

My mum bought a salon showcase from her for her chemist shop.


This is a true event and not a STORY.


Repent while you can or still have time.

I'm not claiming to be a saint.




Anyway, here's my advice for all Nairalanders....


Go to your dads room and check if you'd see your burial program book there.

You really need to be sure whether you are still alive or dead.