₦airaland Forum

As a freshman in undergrad days, a good number of my lecturers would come to class with PowerPoint slides to present their teachings and notes.

There's this finance lecturer who would open his PowerPoint slide, and the first we'd see is his title,'Dr Etumudon Asien,Ph.D,(University of Surrey,United Kingdom). The academic title and the name of the university always interests me a lot.

It was in my second semester, I got to know that some of our lecturers had studied in the UK,US and had returned with the pioneering VC, Professor Aluko, to kickstart a new university in Nigeria.

There were other lecturers who also came to class with PowerPoint point slides with the title of their academic degrees and the kind of schools they attended abroad.

I noticed one other lecturer in my department,Dr Offoha, a principality in Advanced Auditing & Forensic Accounting, who was a fraud examiner for a number of years in the US before he finally returned to Nigeria to take up a lecturing job.

As time went on, I noticed some lecturers don't come to class with PowerPoint slides and who don't care to display their academic titles or the names of universities they attended.

It was later I got to know that these lecturers who didn't come to class with either slides or didn't display their academic titles and the names of the institutions where they bagged their degrees from were lecturers who had done all their schooling in Nigeria. An instance of a lecturer in my department who got his first and Master's degrees from RSUST and Ph.D from Ignatius Ajuru University of Education.

Why am I writing this? While in penultimate year,a lecturer of mine refused to do his Ph.D in Nigeria, he was always fond of saying any degree from a Nigeria University is just a meal ticket. I never understood him until I heard another version of it in my final year.

While I was about to begin my final project in Forensic Accounting,a lecturer, probably in his forties, swept another lecturer(not in the lecturer's presence) with brooms of disdain saying,'What kind of university did he bag his Ph.D degree from? He's calling himself a doctor; a doctor from a mushroom state university. Let him go to the University of Ibadan, or Uniben or The Great Unical whether he'd be able to finish his thesis.' That statement startled me.

I didn't fully have a comprehensive understanding of the statements above until I started knocking the doors to the labour market to open up.

There are days when an interview would ask,'Is your undergrad school a federal university or state?'

Another interviewer had asked me'What did you graduate with?' And when I mentioned,his response,'That's very impressive, and what school is that?' I'd then shoot my answer but his reply would deflate my bloated ego,'You can only have such a result from that kind of school,you can't have that in so and so school.' He'd mention the names of schools which he thought the hurdles of getting an impressive class of degree was difficult to scale.

What am I trying to say with all the above?

Friends, permit me to be very blunt. Whether you like it or not,there are some universities in Nigeria that are considered Ivy League Schools just like the way Harvard, MIT, Oxford are in the US.

I know you'd want to argue that the kind of university you graduate from doesn't matter, it is the class of degree that matters. You'd better repent from your old perspective.

If you're a new generation young man or woman, you'd notice that some employers prefer graduates from private universities (I've seen an advert which says 'Only graduates from Covenant University) to public universities graduates. I think it was recently Dangote Company sent out an advert calling for Unilag recent Chemistry graduates only. I know you'd want to say it's sentimental, I don't care. Just like the way the lecturer above disdained a lecturer who bagged his Ph.D degree from a state university. Infact, some employers only take graduates who studied abroad and are back to Nigeria.

Assuming Ngozi Okonjo Iweala attended our Nigerian kind of university, do you think she'd be given such an enviable position? Ohh! I just wish you'd Google all the universities she bagged her degrees from.She didn't graduate from our LASU,KWASU,DELSU, and all the SUUUUUUUU you can mention. Apart from being an expert in her field,her academic background from enviable Ivy League Universities in the US were contributory factors into her achievement.

Even Dr Akinwumi,the president of African Development Bank had post graduate degrees from top rated institutions in the US having made a first class from OAU.

Twice,I've applied for training at Lagos Business School,a.k.a Pan Atlantic University (ranked top among business schools in Africa and beyond). I was slammed with rejection mails despite how careful I wrote my SOP and my high GPA from undergrad. A friend of mine who had a first class also applied, same rejection. It was later a friend told me they don't really accept graduates from public universities.

Last year, someone posted online that a polytechnic in Nigeria still offers typewriting as a course for students who were taking secretariat studies. This is happening in a century where everything is going digital.

Some private universities have upgraded far above those big names of Federal Universities we have in Nigeria. How many of our public Universities practically teach courses like Digital Marketing, Aeronautic & Astronautic Engineering or 21 century tech driven courses?

I've said the above to say that the school you graduated from matters, the class of degree you obtained & the kind of course you studied matters more and what you do with what you studied after graduation matters most.

An afterthought: Friends, you see that LBS (Pan Atlantic University) & Covenant University,in my own estimation, are examples of Ivy League Schools in Nigeria. Save up and let your children attend any of them, enough of public university graduates in your family.

I'll be waiting for you to disagree with me in the comments section.

I'm out 🚶🚶🚶



©T.D. Alfred|Storyteller•Writing Instructor

IS VIRGINITY A WOMAN'S PRIDE?

I write this piece bearing in mind that it'll be painted with criticisms and debate which I'm aware of stemming from the fact that readers have divergent opinions and perspectives.

Growing up, my parents never sat me down to discuss sex education. However, my mother was always concerned about my sister. What they discussed, I don't know.

I learnt sex education from friends,books,seminars and religious programs. Oftentimes, those learning avenues emphasised that the female gender should keep their virginity while the male folks are left to their own fate.

Who deflowers the girl child? Is it not the boy child? If sexual purity is taught extremely to the boy child,would the girl child be deflowered? And who told us that the female gender doesn't have the capacity to deflower the boy child? Those are questions I hope to answer in a piece different from this.

Getting sex education through books,seminar and religious programs,this point is extremely emphasised: virginity is a woman's pride. It is always about the female gender.

Another extended version emphasised to the female gender is: virginity is the best gift you can give to your husband on your wedding night.

A quick disclaimer: with this piece, I'm in no way endorsing premarital sex nor belittling sexual purity for both genders. And I'm not here as a referee of morality.

3. IS VIRGINITY A WOMAN'S PRIDE/DIGNITY?

Girls have hymen,boys don't. How do we measure the boy child's virginity? I don't think there is. But for females,the hymen is used and that's the reason why virginity is emphasised to the girl child more but not withstanding,for the sake of this piece. Let's include both genders.

I've been friends with a number of female folks who have confined in me their sexual status. This has opened my eyes and heart to know how the world of females is. It has provided avenues for open and close ended questions,arguments and discussions. It has provided me with grounds for assumptions,facts and valuable information. From them, I gathered that virginity can be lost either by choice or by mistake. The unasked question that often run round my head is :

Question: Does it mean a woman loses her pride at the point of sexual intercourse?

Let's expand more on the question using the scenarios below.

»For instance, if a lady who is a virgin gets married and on the wedding night,the husband sleeps with her getting her hymen broken(meaning that she lost her virginity automatically),does that mean she no longer has her pride/dignity intact just because she's lost her virginity?

To rephrase the question, does it mean that our mothers who got married as virgins to our fathers lost their pride and dignity that night?

Bimpe Adelakun,a fourteen year old, who was raped on her way to school. The trauma was there but she'd overcome it. Now she's grown and could determine the margins of life, and great success is at her beck and call. She delivers speeches in the House of Lords in London and chairs the board of 500 Fortune Companies. Can we say she lost her pride when that grievous act was done to her?

Hope you're aware of these household names (Pst Joyce Meyer, Shola Allyson, Oprah Winfrey etal) who were abused sexually? Did they lose or were their pride/dignity taken from them when their virginity was taken away forcefully?Those are questions hunting my soul for long.

If we keep on campaigning that virginity is a woman's pride, we are invariably saying that a woman's pride is a function of virginity. Inversely stated,a woman does not have pride if she's not a virgin.

Friends, what's the pride of a woman? It is the worth of a woman. It is that intangible value, the distinctive personality,capacity, features of enviable traits which makes a woman to be a glorious extension of her creator on earth. In other words, it is the virtue bottled up inside of her.

From the above, can we say ladies/women/ wives & mothers are worthless or have lost the value placed on them after they lost their virginity on their wedding nights?

If we equate women's dignity/pride to their virginity, are we not saying that:

(a)she no longer carries value/worth after the first sex (on their wedding night)?

(b)the girl child should not be invested upon because she will one day(on their wedding night) lose her pride?

(a)she no longer has the capacity to engineer a better society because her pride has been taken from her at the point of sexual intercourse because?

(d) the male folks are takers or destroyers of pride placed on women through sex?

A lot of virgins have committed more sexual atrocities than breaking their hymen. A lot of them have gotten involved in blow jobs, fingering/finger sex, lesbianism, caressing, blue films,lap sex, MouthAction, masturbation etc. Please don't feign ignorance of what I just listed.

Can we then say these people who engage in such are virgins in the truest sense? These sets of people intimidate those who are not virgins mostly because they hold a false status of virginity.

Sex is not when the phallus goes into the virgina; sex is when there is a mutual arousal of two bodies with the consent to touch, kiss and handle themselves to pleasure meanwhile sexual intercourse is when the phallus intrudes into the virgina. While sexual intercourse is the climate, sex is the genesis;again, there can't be sexual intercourse without sex. (NB. Sex education gave me the insight).

If you are a virgin or not, your dignity, worth and pride,as a lady or guy, haven't been lost. Your worth,pride and dignity are tied to what you have in between your head, your character, virtue etc not in what lies in between your legs. It is tied to your brains which can not be lost on your wedding night or by rape. Your brain/intelligence/self worth can't be broken even when your hymen is broken.

Your pride,worth and dignity is tied to the aspirations,inspirations, dreams and purpose tenanting your soul every now and then. The virtue is a woman's dignity,worth and pride.

To get a clear meaning of virtue, the wisest man in his own days, King David Solomon who had learnt lessons from over five hundred women gave an insight of what pride and virtue is in his records, Proverbs 31 preferably from verse 10-31. One thing I noted in those verses was that he never mentioned virginity. Why?

2. IS VIRGINITY THE BEST GIFT I CAN GIVE TO MY SPOUSE ON MY WEDDING?

I will applaud you for considering giving him virginity on your wedding night but what will you give to him afterwards? Give him virginity and virtues. Bring excellent character & worthy principles to the table. Give him working brains,active minds and productive hands as gifts.

1.LADIES, WHAT WILL HE GIVE YOU ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT?

Ladies, have you ever asked yourself what the man will give you on your wedding night if you're giving him your virginity? I think he should also give you his virginity because love can never be one sided; he gives, you give.

Society has lied to the female gender that virginity is what you can give to your man on your wedding night. They've used that to limit your thinking capacity. Ask any lady why she's a virgin? You'd hear:

•So that my husband won't think I'm promiscuous
•So that my husband would trust, cherish and respect me more in marriage
•That's what we were taught in our religious gathering
•It's a sign that you're a virtuous lady
•That's the gift of love on my wedding day.

Those reasons are beautiful but what happens when he doesn't respect or cherish(as you'd thought) you three years down the line even when he met you as a virgin? Or he cheats on you? Or he doesn't value you in a few years of marriage? Or beats you repeatedly? Or …..

Ladies, you should be a virgin not because you want to present your body as a gift to any 'foolish' person who wouldn't think highly of you in years to come. You should be a virgin not because you want a man to trust, respect or cherish you or you've been taught in your religious gathering. You shouldn't be a virgin because you want to impress anyone or any mother inlaw. You shouldn't because you want to testify and tell the world out there how you overcame sexual temptation when the devil came knocking using Bro Matthew.

You should be a virgin first for only yourself. You should be because it's a decision you've chosen objectively; you should be a virgin because sexual purity is the best thing for you; you should be a virgin because ……

There are virgins, in the truest sense, who have virtues/values/brains;I will definitely lead any one of them to the aisle however if she isn't a virgin but got virtues/values/brains, i will tie the knot.

Once again, I didn't use this piece to endorse premarital sex rather I've only questioned the premise that says virginiy is a woman's pride.

If you have any contrasting shade of perspective,I'd be glad to have your thoughts.

Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

Connect with me on FB & IG @T.D.Alfred.

©✍️✍️T.D. Alfred[October,2021]
Storyteller•Writing Instructor.

THE NICEST WORDS TO TELL A LADY WHEN PROPOSING

GUY,you stand before her with a smile and say..

'Damilola, I've been noticing you for a very long time for the period we've been talking. I can boldly and sincerely say that you're a great person to be with. And there are other rare but amazing qualities that you possess which stands you out.

In light of this, I'd like to ask you for a relationship that's goal oriented, a purposeful one at that.

I didn't just come to ask you out based on emotions which will wither away in no time but based on rational decision and careful thought for an elongated period.

I know you may be a little bit shocked or may not be expecting this outpour of mine but I'd like you to think, pray about it and much more importantly, talk to important people in your life about this proposal of mine so that they can guide you and then you can make a final decision.

And your decision can either be a yes or no. If it is a no,we'll still be best of friends.

I'd like you to give me feedback at most two to three months away from now so that I won't be kept waiting for long

Again, before coming to meet you, the important persons in my life are aware. So, my asking you for a relationship is not chop and clean mouth. I'm here to stay like planet Earth.

Thanks for your time. And before I forget, I'd be glad if you could give me a positive response. Damilola,I can't promise you a rainbow after every downpour nor sunshine at every dawn but I promise to always hold your hand till I can no longer breathe. I love you. Have an amazing Valentine.'

Proposal shouldn't be a boring speech filled with fillers and stammerings. Let it flow from within.

From the template above, among other things you can notice the following:

1. He appreciated her kind of person. A reasonable lady doesn't shy away from genuine appreciation (paragraph 1).

2. The guy has built a level of friendship before proposing. He said that he's been noticing her. Unlike some guys who just see a lady today and wants to propose with the mind the lady would say yes, outstanding relationship doesn't work on suddenness.(p1)

3.He stated what he wanted using precise words. He wanted a relationship,he didn't say,'Let's see how things will turn out.'(p2).

4.He told her to talk to important people in her life about the proposal.(p4). Any proposal that doesn't allow at least one rational headed person(outside the two of you) to know,I don't think that's good enough.

5. He demanded for the timeline of feedback.(p6) Guys,you can't just propose and keep waiting endlessly while the lady keeps telling you that she'd think or pray about it for over a year. At the start of your secondary school or University,you had a an insight on when you'd graduate, why not the proposal feedback?

What other things did you notice or would you like to add? Looking forward to your comment.

© T.D.Alfred (October,2021)
Storyteller•Writing instructor

MY FIRST UNDERGRADUATE KISSES

Nobody ever told me that a kiss is an intentional exchange of saliva between two willing mouths.And that love is a force that is not by force.

In my penultimate year, I'd just stepped out of the exam venue, a classroom at Faculty Building 2(FB 2), after writing a Research Methodology Exam which ended at 1pm when my phone began to ring.

It was an exam I'd used two days and two nights to prepare for because it was a course taught by a principality in the Department of Accounting.

When my phone rang at first, I didn't pick cos I was discussing with my coursemates who had finished the same exam.

We examined the answers we'd provided for the compulsory question of number one. It turned out that we'd written the same answers which made my mind calm.

My phone rang the second time, I picked it up and it this amazing lady in her sophomore year in the department of English & Communication Studies.

Our path crossed three months earlier on a Thursday afternoon at the school library when I'd gone to scan for textbooks on Advanced Auditing.

I'd finished my assignment centered on "Auditing & SMEs" at 3pm when I decided to check out the English section for a novel to occupy myself before leaving the library at 5pm for my hostel at the Skills Acquisition Center.

At the English section of the library, I was scanning through many of the novels while she too was doing the same.

I picked a novel written by Ngugi Wa Thiongo titled Matigari, stood there to savour it in bid to know whether this will be okay when she looked up at me and said that she'd been looking all around for the same novel.

I'd wanted to let go by releasing it to her but my inner man prompted that this would be a channel to exchange kernels of intimacies with a lady whose perfect figure proclaimed the artistic dexterity of the Almighty.

'Please,I've been looking for this novel. I know you picked it first but ehn,can you let go?'

While she pleaded, a fair weather smile ran across her face.

Such a smile wasn't enough to give her a novel so I clicked some buttons for intense conversation.

'I also needed it and that's why I came here for it.'

'Yeah, I know. I want to read it for an assignment.'

That excuse got me but I didn't want to let go.

I took a comprehensive look at her. She has an angelic smiling face,long athletic legs, a high feminine waist and the dress she wore sat queenly on her.

'You're a student of English, right?'

'Yeah! Can I have it now?'

She pleaded and smiled.

Her voice excited my ears like a piece of instrumental music.

'What's your name?'

She answered.

'What level?'

'200L.'

She said thank you while I surrendered the book to her and when she was about to leave, her feet got stuck to the earth.

'You didn't tell me your name, level and department.'

I'd wanted to prove a macho guy that that wasn't necessary but I discarded that thought seeing a beautiful lady standing before me to ask for my details with no harm but keen interest. And I also thought to myself that what shall it profit a young guy if he refuses to tell a young beautiful lady his name.

'I'm Alfred. A third year accounting student.'

'Alright. And what are you doing in the English section of the library?'

I smiled.

'Can we talk about this over a drink?'

She looked at me in two shakes of an eye before turning her eyes to the novel.

'I know my request is sudden but it'd be a delight for me to have you as a friend with good understanding.'

That was the event that led to our becoming closer, and full buckets of emotions always pour over when we're together.

And as my phone began to ring, it was the English damsel whose love had found a resting place in me.

'Alfred, good afternoon. Are you through with your papers?'

'Yeah! I just finished.'

'Oh! That's great.'

'What about you?'

'I finished at 11am.'

'Do you still have more papers to write?'

'All papers gone. You?'

'All papers gone as well.'

We both laughed.

'Will you be coming over to my place this evening?'

'Hmmmm! I'm not sure.'

'Why? Nothing.'

'Come over joorr.'

Her off campus hostel was far beyond the Otuoke Bridge, almost at the outskirts of Otuoke where legs hardly trod anytime darkness had soothed the contours of the world.

'Okay. I will come.'

I left for my hostel but met a friend of mine at the school gate who called my attention.

'Guy, how far that exam na?'

'The exam go well.'

'Eehn, we need to pray over our exams. And there's this prayer meeting organised by my church this evening at 6pm to 8pm. I'm inviting you. Will you come?'

When he asked if I'd honor the invitation for the prayer meeting, the invitation of my female English friend swung in my head like a pendulum of a thousand years.

And I remembered the Bible verse which says,'Seek first the kingdom of God and it's righteousness.'

Going for a prayer meeting is better jare, I said within my soul.

'Alright, I'll come.'

He told me the venue and even gave me #200 for transport fare.

I got to the hostel,bathed and slept off like a precocious child who has been fed to optimum by his maternal grandmother who has a pot of goodness and mercy planted deep down in the chamber of her soul.

At 6:10pm, the ringtone of my phone woke me up.

It was my female friend whose beauty shines brighter than the northern star.

'Aren't you coming again?'

'Ouchhh! I forgot.'

'You sound sleepy.'

'Yeah. Your call woke me up.'

I bathed again and wore a round neck and a jean trouser.

At 6:25pm, I was at the gate of the Skills Acquisition Center flagging down a bike when my friend's call came in.

'Alfred, where are you? The program has started o. Hurry.'

'Ohhhh! I forgot. Thanks for reminding me.'

He ended the call.

The bikeman that I'd flagged down was waiting.

'Oga, no vex. I no dey go again.'

He looked at with a wounded glance and was a out to speed off when another student called his attention.

I had to discard the bikeman because I was confused about whose invitation to honor: going to a prayer meeting or going to a girl's house.

I stood there for a few minutes thinking about this.

And that's how life is.

Life is a decision which is instigated by values oftentimes but at certain times, we tend to play according to opposite values we've held on for a very long time.

Is this temptation? Temptation, the devil's by-product? I asked myself.

Her call came in again.

'Are you on your way?'

'Kind of.'

'I'm waiting.'

'Ok.'

I said to myself: I'd go to a prayer meeting another day jare. God understands.

I flagged down another bike at 6:40pm and off I went to her place.

I alighted at the junction, brought out the #200 note my male friend had given me to come over to the program, paid the bike man and collected a change of #100.

I swaggered on the dusty road leading to her house.

I stood at her doorpost with a ranging thought that I should have gone to the prayer meeting instead of coming over to a lady's house.

I'd wanted to turn back but was held back when my phone rang; it was her.

I didn't pick.

She looked through the window, the ringing tone of my phone must have alerted her about my presence.

The door was opened and the Son of Alfred was ushered in like the way a new King is ushered into his domain when enthroned at first.

I sat on the chair.

She sat on the bedside.

At this time, it was 7pm, the moon was already up like a bug saucer in the sky bathing everything underneath in a pale silvery night.

I took a good look at her again.

She is beautiful from top to toe. Her eyes full of passion, the spaghetti top she wore revealed a large chunk of her b.oob.s which stood straight and erect like shining swords of Sophocles, making her ni.pp.les evident like pink rosebubds. The bumbshort she wore had her flesh revealed. Ohhh! Assuming, Joseph of the Bible saw this part of Mrs Potiphar, I don't think he'd have run outside.

She knew my attention was on her which made her ask an integer question at such a time when the stars were thousand witnesses in the sky above.

'What are you looking at?'

Her eyes were full of passion, and you know all men oftentimes respond to such.

'Nothing.'

I smiled.

'You're sure it's nothing?'

She spoke with inclusive familiarity.

She stood up from where she sat and came over to where I was seated.

She bent over to pick a paper from the floor, my eyes saw the package of flesh behind the spaghetti top.

Lo and behold, my body caught fire, a glowing fire spread rapidly all over my body but it wasn't the kind of fire that Elijah called from heaven when he was battling with his enemies.

She stood straight up again.

And placed his hands on my shoulder, looking straight into my eyes.

I understood the language of things not said in words.

I stood up, facing her, more composed and assured.

She drew me closer, both of us pouring out affection mixed with uncontrollable rising emotions saying nothing.

Silence filled the room and stretched to a breaking point

Admiration showed like stars on her face and finally she said those magical words.

'I love you.'

Those words triggered more emotions in me.

With uncluttered simplicity, I reciprocated.

'I've always loved you. Since the day I saw you at the library, your love is deeply seated in my heart.'

She pulled me closer to herself and spoke faintly in my ears while feigning shyness.

'You can't love me without taking me to Jerusalem tonight.'

I,too, feigned ignorance like a village elder who doesn't know the difference between palm wine and Ekpeteshi.

To pretend I do not understand what she said is to leave Hamlet out of the play and pretend that other characters matter more.

Once again,she looked at me wanting to exude her love like a heavy perfume, moved her lips closer to mine to seal it with a kiss which will sound 'muah.' That was when my phone rang. It was my male friend.

I took the phone from the table where I'd placed it and switched it off.

Let me seek the kingdom of God here and now. Who says she and I can't fellowship in this room? I thought and asked myself.

I pulled her closer once again.

Friends,you want to know what happened next?

Sometimes, Wednesday isn't a good day for some of these stories.

Connect with me on FB & IG @T.D.Alfred.

©✍️✍️✍️T.D.Alfred(July,2021)
Storyteller•Writing Instructor

THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF A THIEF

When the United States' constitution was being crafted,the authors knew this. Hence, the main writer,James Madison, wrote,"If men were angels,no government would be needed." So what does that make of our man in the driver's seat of the nation? He comes off as a weak angel. He should be an angel of angels but it seems the archangel is incapable of defending the lower angels.

Those who sang anti-jonathan's symphony in 2015 and voted for the weak angel,voted for change. It was a clamor with high emotional decibel. But what did change mean? For some,it was an ouster of GEJ. To others,it was a fulmination against the Niger Delta Upstarts. To some,it was to bring in a northerner. To a few conscious advocates,it was a revolution in ethics and economy. To them now I say: in the beginning was change and the change was with us and the change was chain but the chain later became flesh-next level and dwelt among us. What a gospel!

Was he not the weak angel who evangelized in 2015 like the presidential aspirant in Joseph Edoki's novel,African Dream,"I am an apostle of light. I am going to fight the agent of darkness and purge our society of ugly citizens." When some of our youth who are politically naive,adminiatravely boring and societally inactive heard this,they clamored that Buhari's candidature is a terminal kiss from a moribund and corrupted regime but what have we experienced so far? A dispirited and 'kabukabu' president and his cabinets and committee which suits Charles Kettering's description,"A group of people who individually can do nothing, but who as a group,can meet and decide that nothing can be done."

What change or next level have the sons of Lugard and Flora Shaw experienced so far from 2015? Recovery of looted funds yet loans from China are being chased after and rising percent of interest and taxes. The president should be given a simple lesson on Introduction to Finance and Economics precisely on how loans work and a little bit of history on how the Chinese have used their loans to colonise some nations.The Chinese have taken over the Zambian assets and the whole downtowns in an Asian Country. If we are not careful, twenty to thirty years from now, the Chinese will be taking over our major assets and Nigerian citizens will be living like slaves. Even the National assembly has debated the effect of China loans and they are living in fear. Unlike the West who give loans and look for ways to rearrange it, the Chinese want their pound of flesh. And like Shylock, they don't care if you bleed, especially, if your pride bleeds.

With our naked eyes, we are watching how our naira is plummeting under the administration of the weak angel who promised during his campaign to make one naira equals one dollar. We shouldn't feel sorry for the naira rather the naira should feel sorry for us. Since the naira was born in the early 70's, it has known no peace. It does not die but has seen many deaths. By it, classes are made in society, Lazaruses become rich men and rich men become patrons.

The love of the naira has sent the EFCC headboy, Magu, behind bars. Preserving the naira's innocence was his job. Last year or so, we were told that he isn't innocent. When the washerman stains the wedding gown, what will be done to him? Magu must have been too democratic and passionate in protecting the naira with one hand and pocketing the same naira with the other hand. One plus one equals one, an apology to Dostoyevsky's novel of ideas, Man from the Underground. For Magu, it means naira on one hand plus naira on the other hand equals corruption. A man appointed to protect the naira is the same man burying the naira in the pool of corruption. How do we reconcile that? Jimmy Breslin trumpeted the answer,"The number one rule of thieves is that nothing is too small to steal.' In furtherance to that,Aesop chirped," We hang petty thieves and appoint great ones to public offices." And later when things aren't working out,we raise perfidious eyebrows and yell,"Jesus" or "Allah," and pray or make religious pronouncements such as God bless Nigeria; Nigeria shall be great again.' Nonsense. Outright nonsense. When you read books like 'From Third World to First World' and 'Why Nations Fail' by Lee Kuan Yee and Daron Acemoglu & James Robinson respectively, you would understand that great nations are not built on prayers, fasting, optimism, positive thinking and confession.

For the same naira, the professor heading the NDDC agency fainted. That week, we heard how billions of naira are mentioned like the name of a familiar harlot. It is the billion of naira contract spent without allocation. It is the naming of a pen. A pen that signs a job will be the pen that will end the job. The agency blooms while the fishermen, hunters, farmers, school boys and girls in the Niger Delta region still can not breathe or eat in a polluted environment of air and water. And at the end of the day, some stupid sets of young agile men were hailing Akpabio for defending himself not knowing that he has pocketed their future and all what the youth could make of it is to chant a futile mantra, 'Off the mic, off the mic.' A wasted generation.

And for the same naira in dollar, Hushpuppy, who is now a puppy,was nabbed in Dubai. Hushpuppy is just like Jay Gatsby in Scot Fitzgerald's novel. He acquires his fable of wealth to get a woman and buys a big mansion. Every neighbor comes to his frequent parties but not the woman he craves for. He eventually dies alone and poor. For Hushpuppy, everyone partied with him, now that he's behind bars,no one goes there to wipe his premium tears. The sojourn of Hushpuppy comes to an end. He was a man of means with no means of livelihood. He was a man of cyberspace, conquered the gullible, stashed his global bank account, snored in palaces, dressed like a fop, preened like a peacock, seduced the young and befuddled the old. He's behind the bars now, he will neither wear Gucci nor LV but an orange top that will carry the inscription 'INMATE.' What was the lesson for the Nigeria youth? Some said he should have calmed down and not show his wealth. Some said he remains their mentor.Some said they would like to be the next Hushpuppy. Because of Hushpuppy, Dubai placed a ban on Nigeria which was later lifted. We couldn't get their visa then. One man error affects a whole nation. The generation of Hushpuppy aren't different from the generation of passionate BBnaija addicts. A generation that loves watching boobs than reading books and masturbating to naked bodies.

Now back to the weak angel governing the affairs of the nation, he travelled endlessly like an eagle bird of no century during his first tenure. What he seeketh, no one knows. And during the lockdown again, he insulted the Nigerian populace by travelling affirming this line,'Barbarians don't travel,' as penned by Olga Tokarczuk, the Nobel Prize Novelist, in her novel,'Flights.' He travelled all the way to Mali for a peace keeping mission when Southern Kaduna was and is still as hot as hell. To the weak angel traveling to keep peace, he should heal himself before healing others. I ask: how can the people of South Kaduna recite the anthem of peace when the language of death is lucid in the sky? To them, safety is a wishful and forgotten lyric. How do they spell peace when war and death are the tunes ringing in their heads?

For the West to keep security, they rebranded OPC(Oodua People's Congress) to Amotekun. Will Buhari allow the East to have their own version of Amotekun, and not be labelled as Biafra Soldiers giving room for Operation Python Dance to be unleashed on them(boys with no arms and ammunitions) as the case was in 2017? Will the South be allowed to have its own branded security without labelling them as Nigeria Delta Activists as they were killed and maimed in 1999 in Odi,Bayelsa? We are just a stupid nation massaging the ego of one for another.

The weak angel who promised to take Nigeria to the promised land is finally leading the brainchild of Lugard to polluted land. Was he not the one who used deregulation against GEJ in 2015. Is he not the one championing it right now? How many times has the prices of petrol and electricity skyrocketed last and this year as Covid and hunger held people spellbound? Former vice president under Obasanjo trumpeted that he's too old to canvass a campaign against the hike of petrol prices and electricity, thereby urging the youth to take on the battle of protest. The response that littered the streets of Twitter was that if he wasn't too young to upturn the administration of GEJ in 2015, he shouldn't be too old to do the same thing against his kinsman. Can we say he's playing in line with the Chinese proverb,'When I was young, I did not have wisdom; now that i am old, I did not have strength.'

Last year,the government who didn't think of its educational sector on reopening its institution because of COVID-19 gave an expression permission for election to be held. During the campaign at Uniben stadium, it was a pool of crowd of people falling on each other thereby flouting the rules of social distancing and nosemasking. It was simply a testament to the fact that the government doesn't place value on what goes into our head(education), they are after what goes into their pockets(politics, power and money).

Would you mind talking about death of young innocent Nigeria at the Lekki Toll Gate last year and the killing of youth who protested during the #ENDSARS? Till today, we're yet to see justice. Would you mention the attack at the Nigeria Defence Academy where the safety and security of the place was compromised? It is a shame on the country's security. If a Defense Academy could be attacked, do you think the Aso is spared? It's just a matter of time. Would you mind talking about the broadday killing of Dr Dora Akunyili's husband few days ago? Or the massive recruitment of our doctors right on our soil?

Some leaders show their mettle when crisis erupts. We have seen some leaders over the ages demonstrate leadership in times of crisis. Churchill led with rhetoric and boyish bravuras. Charles de Gaulle made a virtue of nationalist defiance. Franklyn Roosevelt governed courageously and inspiringly from his wheelchair. Mahatma Gandhi inspired his flock with his frock. Lincoln inspired men to greatness with compassion and cunning. Mandela tapped people's pride. Martin Luther turned faith into rebellion. Martin Luther King Jr. turned rebellion into faith. Alexander the Great made a myth of youth. Washington conquered his age with charisma but what is the principal thing the Nigeria headmaster has done so far?

Daniel Donno,in Machiavelli,the Prince, cried,"Italy had fallen into a morass of inept rulers." Nigerians didn't just fall in the morass of inept rulers alone but have been consumed and decimated by stone age rulers. Oftentimes,I say that Nigeria (its whole non- human and partially human resources) is a first world country but has been led and is still being led by third world leaders. And that's the bracket the Nigeria headmaster falls into.

Friends, I charge with Professor Niyi Osundare's poem,'The days has woken from the night of sleep;time for spinner to spin the spindle. The days has woken;time for the Smith to fan smiling coals into hissing steel…..I wear courage like a shield telling the kings that their farts chokes the village nose.' Let's arise and take our destinies in our hands, and boldly tell the politicians that their fart chokes our nose.

Nigeria at 61 is a pity.The government who has done wrong knows what to do to get us out of this shame but "when correction lies in the hands of those that committed wrong, to whom shall we complain,"Shakespeare crooned. Should we say happy independence to Nigeria? Maybe not.


©✍️✍️✍️✍️ T.D. Alfred (October,2021)
Storyteller•Writing Instructor
Photo credit: Kachi Photography.

WHAT THEY EXPECTED OF HIM VS WHAT HE CAME WITH.

A lot of people ranted about the recent picture of Pastor Kumuyi alighting from a limousine. And I kept asking if that was too big or too small for a man who has paid his dues with hardwork and commitment for three decades or more.

The usual responses from people was that Deeper Life is known for modest living; that Deeper Life of those days wouldn't encourage such extravagant living such as the picture painted above; that Deeper Life shuns the things of this world.

Another response had it that these men of God who are saying we should be concerned about eternal life and encouraging people to sow our seeds in places where moths can't destroy are doing the opposite.

You might be right with those opinions but let's look at the impact these men of God have made in the lives of ordinary Nigerians.

Take a look at Dr David Oyedepo,his two universities, Covenant and Landmark, are always at the forefront of Ivy League universities in Nigeria. A recent job advert says,'Only Covenant University graduates should apply and some good private universities….'. That is indirectly passing a message to the government and Nigerians that with all the resources the government has, the government can't boast of good education and productivity. Do you know the Calibre of professors in Covenant University or the state of the art facilities?

Take another look at the evergreen Dr Sam Adeyemi of Daystar. With his teachings,young people have been able to catch the code of excellence and creativity in different fields of endeavor. His yearly leadership program brings movers and shakers across different sectors of the economy to teach the secrets of their success story and relevance in their chosen fields.

Would you mind talking about Pastor Poju Oyemade whose yearly program tagged 'The Platform' has contributed immensely to the social and political engineering of our dear nation Nigeria?

Take a look at the late Pastor T.B. Joshua whose philanthropic works have elevated some people out of the horrible pits of penury,hunger and lack?

When you see pastors living in abundance, you get angry but when a pastor struggles to feed, you'd say he isn't called by God.

If you keep thinking that the problem of this nation is instigated by the so-called men of God, kindly sit quietly and think again. As a young accountant who is mindful of economic and political history and data, I can boldly say that poverty is political.

With all the money that your state governors and other political office holders in your state have stolen, have they been able to rise to the status of these men of God? I say it again that poverty is political; I won't use this piece to analyze that.

Having said the above, I understand your grievances towards men of God. There are some men of God who have used the pulpit as an avenue to enrich themselves. That's glaring. The counsel I want to leave with you is that when you go to your religious gathering, don't go with your brain in your pocket. Jesus didn't come to take away our senses, He came to take our sins.

I'm out���.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=4342535125783418&id=100000809218966


©✍️✍️✍️T.D. Alfred (September, 2021)
Storyteller•Writing Instructor.

THE ONLY SIN I COMMITTED IN NYSC CAMP.

It was a Nigerian evening at 6pm at the NYSC Orientation Camp in Iseyin,Oyo in 2017.

George Iyanda Adetola,who had studied at the University of Chicago, and I sat on a bench at the entrance of Ajumobi hostel. The name of the hostel was named after the immediate past Oyo governor before Seyi Makinde of PDP ascended the throne.

Two of our friends (Daniel & Ebitare) sat at the other bench. Daniel Audu, a twenty six years old graduate from Kogi State University (KSU) having studied Physics, had prompted us to sit and discuss life after camp. That's his own way of killing time and shooing away the ruthless thought of camp regimentation. Johnson Ebitare Ogolo, a graduate from the University of Portharcourt, who had studied Chemical Engineering also got interested in the kinds of posting we were scheming at. He was the one who was beaten by the military officer for hiding under his bunk due to tiredness when other corpers were on the field for a platoon meeting.

One of the things that endeared me to this set of guys is that they have balanced patterns of thoughts. They embraced and revelled in critical thinking.

George who had studied Psychology at the University of Chicago always butters his argument with deductive reasoning and empirical data. He was one time the president of Africa Union of Black Students on campus and a chief student editor of 'Psychology Today', a weekly magazine of University of Chicago.

Audu, a realistic and thoughtful political crusader, had helped his uncle in winning a local government election in 2014 in Bauchi. His political insight is very rich and all encompassing. He told us how Boko Haram raided his village at night in 2014 killing his cousin,Meke, who had come home for holiday from the University of Makurdi,Benue. Listening to him speak on the death instigated by Boko Haram and several communal clashes between Benge & Jukop communities, how politics is used as a tool to spread poverty in most local governments in Bauchi spilled some tears on my cheeks.

On the other hand was Ebitare who had been shielded away from harsh realities of life by the wealth and will power of his darling parents. His compelling thoughts on leadership stems from the fact that he was a Bible study secretary of JCCF and the president of his campus fellowship during his sophomore and final years respectively. Upon graduation, he emerged the best in his department with a CGPA of 4.62 on a scale of 5.00.

We sat there throwing banters about our early morning waking up at 4:30am, about the long queues at the kitchen and its poorly cooked food on some days and good food(chicken) on Sundays,about how we struggled to get water for early morning cleanups, about the elevating worship at the NCCF chapel, about what goes on at the Maami market, about the platoon competition, about the every night entertainment at the big field before resting our tired souls, about our posting to various local government and how fellow corpers pressed fees into wrong hands to get good PPAs and local governments. To some, the good developed local governments are the ones inside Ibadan such as Akinyele and the rest while the not so good ones are Saki which shares boundary with a country I don't know.

While we sat there, Ebitare,a bad mouthed fellow, echoed that someone in our midst would be posted to a farm in Ogbomoso.

'Yeye guy,'I replied.

'Na you them go post to Saki in Jesus' name.' George offered the prayer and we all cemented it with amen.

When the laughter died down, Audu saw three female corp members walking to the kitchen and called our attention to them.

In camp, you're allowed to see everything about the female corp members. I mean everything because of the white short and white top being the accepted uniform which made the military guys call us 'white fowls,' or 'Otondos.'

For description, the three female corpers were fair. To be precise, what the middle lady carried on her chest stood at attention like the trees of Ekpoma, carefully upward to the sky, akin to a full blown moon on a scary night, calling for lusty fingers and that could be a distraction for Messi from scoring a goal in Champions League. From behind, it was a circumference of good flesh, shooting out appropriately to indicate calculated expansion of width and breadth, jerking up and down with adequate and efficient speed as she moved her legs.

Over the days in camp, I saw replicas of such. If you're fortunate on the parade ground during morning exercise, female creatures would be at your front and sideways of left and right. And when the military guys spew out orders like 'Pre shun, attention by number, one leg uppppp,' you would see the movement of different shapes of butt(the small, the medium and the big) on white transparent short at the commandments of raising a leg up and stamping it on the ground to indicate 'attention.' It becomes more clearer when the female corpers were told to run,there and then, the full blown moons on their chests galloped heavily at the speed of light.

It even became more terrific on the competition night of Big, Bold & Beautiful. It was a display of what should have been hidden by a good amount of clothes when these songs 'Wo' by Olamide and 'One Corner' by that Ghanaian artist were played respectively and repeatedly. I saw, I watched and conquered. A woman's body is a bookpage of wonders, the more you see, the clearer your sight and inspirations. If King Solomon had been at the venue that night, he would have yelled what he wrote some thousand years ago into our ears, 'vanity upon vanity, all is vanity.' I would have intelligently advised King Solomon to step back from yelling. You know why? After he had enjoyed one thousand babes, drank exotic wines,lived in opulence; he now concluded that vanity is vanity. What a way to counsel the upcoming generation! If life was truly vanity upon vanity, why then did Christ in John 10:10 tell us that He had come to give us life in abundance, life overflowing? I think King Solomon needs to be excavated from his burial bed and should be told that life is not vanity adding that his own experience about life is vanity. No more, no less. Let me enjoy what I'm seeing in camp and decide if I would write a theological thesis awaiting a title 'Life: a transient home of vanity and the everlasting way forward.'

Seeing the female dance competition that night reminded me of what the richest man from the East who lived in the land of Uz said during his outpour in Job 31:1. The rich Mr Job crooned,"I've made a covenant with my eyes;why then should I look upon a young lady?" Should I now send my eyes to perpetual night because of what my eyes are beholding at the campground? No, not yet.

As the ladies walked up to the kitchen for food, I had the urge to follow one of them. That was when the military guy blew his trumpet, a call for all Otondos to exit their hostel beds for the evening entertainment at the big open space. We stood. Johnson and Adetola quickly rushed back to get their waist bags inside the hostel while Audu and I birded away quickly to get a seat for the four of us.

Before we got there, there were multitudes of corp members seated at the stadium-like built facility waiting for the MC to engineer the awaited night of entertainment. We sat in the 23rd row. The Disc Jockey(DJ),Collins Epetu, peppered our ears with Davido's music before the MC,Mr Sheriff, appeared on the stage wearing dirty jeans, flourishing his hair with brown color and piercing his ears with small rings.

At that time, darkness had soothed the contours of the world.

'Corper wee,'he spat out into the microphone.

'Waaa,' we responded. The atmosphere had been charged with full emotions overflowing.

'Corper wee wee wee.'

'Waa waaa waaa.' We gave back.

As I turned left to pick up my fallen Centre Fresh, I saw one of the ladies who had walked earlier to the kitchen. Our glances collided. She shot me that continuous look. I didn't cave in. It is a cowardly man that shivers at the persistent look of a beautiful lady. She stabbed me with attention. My look upon her was consistent. I've seen a diamond, I'm not going to let go. She got a good tap from a lady beside her. Finally, she looked away. My eyes worshipped her beauty. She, again, threw glances at me repeatedly. She met my sparkling eyes. I smiled. She didn't. Audu called my attention to Adetola who was struggling for a seat. I waved at him to come and manage with us. He nodded.

'I need to get table water at Maami market,'the lady told her friend. I heard her clearly. She stood up and made her way through the crowd. Once again, my eyes caught her behind. I must not let this go. I whispered my mission to Audu, he patted me on the back as a sign of encouragement. Adetola came and occupied my seat. I walked behind the lady. She walked through the direction where the bulbs gave light. I called from behind saying hello. She stuck her feet to the earth. She looked at me, a simple smile painted my face. Through her looks, she knew I was the guy making her uneasy with my looks before she stood up.

I initiated the conversation.

'It wouldn't be bad if a pretty lady is accompanied by a mighty man of valor wherever she goes.'

'Well, if no request is made,I think the mighty man of valor should keep to himself.' That was a good defense from her. She moved, I followed.

'There are days when requests won't be made but help is needed. Such days are called Days of Charity according to Maya Angeolou's in her novel titled 'I Know Why Caged Birds Sing.'

She laughed.

'You must be a graduate of English?'

'Not at all. I studied what makes the world go round and efficiently.'

She was restless by that statement. I saw it from her rolling eyes and bodily reaction.

'And what course is that?'

'Can I get you a drink while we exchange kernels of intimacies?' I tabled a request avoiding the question.

She looked at me again,she couldn't speak. I guess the words she had inside of her must have gotten stuck in the passage of her throat.

'Shall we?' I persisted like the Devil's advocate.

She led the way, I followed.

We got a table for two at Mama Feyibola's food store. The store wasn't too crowded that night as most corpers were at the entertainment venue.

One amazing thing about Mama Feyibola is that she cooks food of most tribes in Nigeria. I drew a seat for her to settle in as a mark of a gentleman. She did sit and I went over to the counter to order what my money could afford. Before we got to the food store, i'd sensed that she's a lady who understood the science of money management in a place far from home. She had told me her favorite food. I waited at the counter and spelt out my demands while stealing glances at her. She was obsessed with her phone. All we bought that night amounted to #1200. Hers was #500 and mine was #700. She drenched me in a pool of appreciation as I landed the tray of food in her presence.

I sat, unbuttoned my waist bag and took the spoon about to eat. She held my hand and gave me a warning glance. What could be wrong? I asked inwardly. She said we haven't blessed the food. I was ashamed of myself. I gave her the onus to sanctify the food. She turned it down and said the responsibility lies on my shoulder because I was the buyer and the male figure.

The few words she had spoken so far that night sank into the depth of my soul. I chose the words constituting my prayers carefully while she cemented it with a soothing adequate shout of amen. She dropped her phone on the table, brought out her handkerchief, and drank from the table water before her. She devoured the food in a righteous and modern manner, throwing plenty of pretense to the wind. With style, she broke the chicken bones making papapapa sound intermittently. I gave her good looks wondering why this lady was real with her eating habit in the presence of a guy she's meeting for the first time. While we ate, we spoke and laughed.

'So Alfred, who are you?' That question made me uncomfortable. I dropped my spoon and drank some satisfying level of water.

'Well, I'm Alfred. I am an Earlyman. I'm a man who came from the past, I live in the present and I'm heading towards the future.'

She exploded in laughter.

'Mr man, please enough of your philosophical evasiveness. Tell me who you are.'

'That's me.'

'That was the way you told me you studied a course that makes the world go round.'

'Okay, I'm Alfred. An accounting graduate. I'm from the Niger Delta, a militant by extension.'

She laughed out loud once again because of the phrase 'militant by extension.

'To be precise, I'm from Ughelli South which is the centre of the world and that's where God lives.'

Pop of laughter once again. The laughter continued for five to eight minutes. While she laughed on, I knew that the lady isn't one of those ladies who tenants in the habitat of pretense and showoff. Her default setting, by my speedy judgement, is: be real with anybody,be it first timers or whoever. This I cherished about her at that instance.

'This Alfred, you're so funny. Enough of your hype jor.'

At that time it was 8pm. She told me who she is. Her upbringing, places of study, etal. Our discussion spans from history about the development of Singapore, United Arab Emirates, the slavery in the middle east of 1934, the Apartheid in South Africa, the sins of British colonial masters on Nigeria, the political gain of Boko-Haram in the Northeast etal.

She was vast, wideread, open minded, challenged my thoughts intelligently as we ran through the history of Singapore. I looked at her in amazement at the intelligent way she disagreed with renowned thinkers on a few subjects. At a point, I asked what she studied.

'I read Chemistry.'

'It's a lie.'

'Why do you say it's a lie?'

'Because you're well grounded in matters of history and economic growth & development.'

'And you also are good in literature & history but you studied what-makes-the-world-go-round.'

I laughed. She looked at her wristwatch. My phone started ringing. I checked the caller. It's Audu. I answered.

After the call, she said.

'Alfred,I'm tired. Let's go.'

I clocked my right into her left. We headed to the hostel while we excavated good thoughts on the Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau;his suiting pronouncement on Africa students. We argued and argued as we walked along. We got to the entrance of her hall, Adebimpe Lawrence Hall. I demanded for her number and a hug. She smiled and asked a question of priority.

'I can only give you one of your demands. It's either a hug or my number.'

She said it and stepped back a little. I don't know why she did that. Failure to get her number means I won't see her again because there are thousands of new ladies you see in camp every now and then. A warm hug isn't a bad thing. I looked at her and said both. She smiled, moved closer to me but didn't hug, took my phone and typed her number on my phone. She saved it with her name: Tolani. She gave me back my phone, appreciated me once again for the food and bade me a goodbye. I left. The call came in again. It's Johnson.

'Alfred, how far? Where you dey?'

'Guy, I dey come.' He hung up.
.

I met them at the entrance of the hostel, where we sat earlier. The three were waiting to hear the gospel of gaining the affection of a new girl.

'Alfred,you got the girl? Innit?' George spoke in his flourishing American accent.

'Yeah, partially.'

'How's she?'Audu asked.

'She's brainy and real.'

'So, did you pop the question,'Johnson threw in.

'Not yet,this is my first unprepared date.'

'Alfred,you should have popped the question. We're leaving camp next tomorrow which is Tuesday.' Audu added.

'Yeah, I know.'

'Did you get her number?'

'Yes.'

At that time it was 9:54pm. The camp light would go off by 10pm according to camp rules and regulations.

'Why don't you call her and tell her that the evening with her was an oasis in the desert?' Audu suggested.

'That's gonna be fine,'George crooned.

I brought out my phone, scrolled to her name, dialed and placed the phone to my right ear. The network answered in this manner.

'Please,check the number and dial again.'

I redialled the number and placed it back to my ear, and the network says,'This is a wrong number. Check the number and try again.'

This network must be mad, I thought.

'What's happening?'Audu asked.

'The network is saying it's a wrong number.'

'Did you flash the number when she called it out to you?'


'Hmmm! No I didn't. She collected my phone, typed it and saved the number.'


'Can I have your phone?' Johnson asked. 'Let me try it with mine. Please Audu, help me to call out the number.' I gave the phone to Audu while Johnson brought out his phone from his waist bag.'You can call it out now.'


Audu cleared his throat and began the task of calling out the number 080345324.


'The number is not complete,'Johnson and Audu spoke at the same time. I looked at them, hissed and collected my phone. I did count the number. The numbers were nine instead of eleven. I've been deceived.


I,as a graduate of accounting who should be superb with numbers,have been watered down. My friends laughed at me for my foolishness. I couldn't say a word. The light went off. We went in and climbed into our bunks individually. The laughter continued. Where am I going to search for two numbers to get this lady? How am I going to shuttle two numbers to the other numbers to get it? Should I start adding: 00,01,02,03,04,05,06,07,08,09 or 10,11,13,14 etal? The thought cramped over my soul until I was overtaken by deep sleep.
...

'Alfred,wake up. Let's go and get water.' Audu woke me up at 4:37am. George and Johnson were outside with their buckets waiting for us to join them.


'Alfred, what are you going to do about the lady?'Johnson teased.


'Don't start that this morning,'George barked softly at him. Within me, I've made a decision to search for the lady. The following day was our exit day from camp. I have only today to search for her. We got water,cleaned up and ran to our individual platoons. I did search for the lady endlessly but won with defeat. From Maami market to the entrance of her hall, looking at the faces of female corpers like an examiner, to the entertainment venue to NCCF Chapel. I gave up when it was 9pm in the evening.

On the day of departure, we woke up prepared and wore our Nine Over Nine uniforms. We lined up and sang our anthem for the very last time.

'Youth obey the Clarion call
Let us lift our nation high
Under the sun or in the rain
With dedication and selflessness
Nigeria...'

The last line was waved off as we ran to our platoon officers to collect our posting letters.

George,who had a politician as a father, got a PPA at the governor's office. Johnson,who had a first class, was posted to Ajayi Crowther University, Oyo town. Audu, who had an uncle as a local government chairman, got redeployed to Bauchi State securing a PPA in the local government where his uncle governs. And I, who had been beautifully deceived by a lady and had prayed to be posted to the HQ of Federal Inland Revenue Service,Ibadan got an annoying posting to teach accounting in a secondary school in the suburb of Oyo town. What a way to leave camp! While the four of us gathered for hugs and goodbye,tears scratched my eyes for the amazing twenty one days we'd spent in camp. And that was how I committed a sin of not checking a lady's number for completeness & correctness via dialing it in her presence.

Connect with me on Facebook & IG at T.D. Alfred or ighosotualfred@gmail.com


©✍️✍️✍️T.D.Alfred[September,2021]
Storyteller•Writing Instructor