₦airaland Forum

GodisGood4321:
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills.

A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you.

But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence.

I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them.

Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism.

I understand you considerably, and no! You are not a gold digger. But you see, marriage is beyond financial status. You're looking for a girl from a well to do family; but have you ever thought of how this family will treat and respect you?Have you wondered how much influence the family has on her: would it be a positive or a negative influence? Have you thought about their expectations of you as a son in-law of an affluent family? Have you ever wondered how much she spends or how extravagant she is? Come on! She's from a rich home, she has class , she would love to maintain her standard. I'm not saying there ain't girls that are from well to do homes who are responsible and have good families too, but these are things you should put into consideration too.

Marriage is beyond all these, this shouldn't be paramount. Peace of mind, understanding and tolerance is! I'll give a little illustration using my family.
We're 7 from my mum( 4 girls), we're not poor , we can take care of our basic needs. My elder sisters got married to rich/very comfortable men, but for once my family has never asked for their assistance no matter how pressing the needs are even when my dad was terribly sick, my parents just refused to ask for money. They'll always tell us -" what if they weren't rich ?what if your sisters are not married ?" They only give us at will; and frequently, people will always ask her if her in-laws are stingy, in a sly manner.

When you get married, you'll understand better

Just a little look at those statements claimed to be made by Mbaka reeks of superfluous lies. These statements are credulous! And impossible too. Even a mad man wouldn't utter such statements. I wonder who moved this to front page.

There is no rule to love. You will see a woman do all these for ulterior motives other than love.

I have never heard anyone say Buhari was cloned. I have only heard them say "he is an imposter ". Be that as it may, he should openly address this issue and refute the claim himself, if he isn't an imposter as claimed.

I used to consider this jubril talks and all, senseless ; but now, I have my doubts about it too

Aww!
Congratulations dear.

It's so unfortunate that he died this way. May his soul rest in peace.

Nigerian youths for you! These are reasons our president called us lazy.