₦airaland Forum

Who do you love more, your spouse or your child and why

What about Politicians, Bankers ( will attend to female customers 1st), Policemen etc.
I am surprise in this age and time, ppl still believe in this grandma tales.
The more lucrative a profession is the more the daughters of eve flock around ppl in this profession. It is not that Doctors in Nigeria are well paid anyway. It is just the name.
Ha poor doctors.

Did you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? Pls share your story.

Would you allow your lover to share a flat with an opposite sex who is single (flat share mate) or will you allow your friend to stay in your lovers house for a long time when you don't stay there but that is the only solution to the person's accommodation problem?

You don't need a psychiatrist. You need to see a psychologist. Psychiatrist deals with Mental illnesses which i dont believe suffer 4m presently. Some psychiatrists are trained in psychotherapy and will be able to use the technique in psychotherapy to help.
The fact that you ve expressed your emotions on a forum like this is therapeutic in itself, but i think you need some work to learn coping stragies and deal with negative automatic thoughts that perpetuate the feelings you experience. Since u ve been reading I suggest u read any book on Cognitive Analytic theory or Cognitive behavioural therapy. You will be able to learn more about urself.
It is well with you.

I find it astonishing that ppl esply ladies can jump to conclusion about a man not wearing a wedding ring cos he want to cheat. In Nigeria, the married men are the ones that flirt the most with their wedding rings on. Not wearing a wedding ring is not necessary indicative of a man that wants to flirt cos it does not prevent it if you wear one.
A lot of girls in Nigeria do not care about ur marital status except the ones that are in their late 20s or 30s and still single. The young ones that are between 18 and 26 0r 27 don't care about a man marital status as long as u can tk care of their needs.
I don't wear my wedding ring always cos I don't like it. I am always aware that it is on my finger and it makes me feel very uncomfortable, a kind of claustrophobic feeling. If I want to flirt which i completely detest, it wont prevent me even if i had one on my finger.
Women wear theirs cos the culture in Nigeria is that men chase. So the married ladies has to signify that they are not available. For a man, its left to u if u want to wear it or not. A man looks more responsible wearing one but if dont feel comfortable about it dont ve sleepless night over it.

It is easier said than done, don't do this or do that. What i advice is that you see a relationship counsellor to do some work with you. I do some therapy work with clients who have complex problems and it works. Nine yrs rship is no joke to lose. The issues that come with such a lost is more than forget it and move on, it can be carried over to another rship and begin to strain it. You might find it difficult to trust ppl, find expressing urself with others difficult and be more cagy or may be easily irritable. The problems goes on and on. I wish I can provide such a service for you but that will be difficult.
The therapy will work on areas that you might not feel are contributory to your present predicament. I don't know ur location but i think there shd be such a service where you are but they can be expensive. But your mental health is more important than any other issue.
I wish you well.

I am experiencing a similar problem. I had a discussion with my missis and she out of pity tried to please me later that night. How i regretted it that i had that discussion. I was emotionally traumatised cos i kn it was like eating a meal u 4bid just because a gun is on ur head. she was just tryn 2 b empathetic towards me but i cld see she was not actually enjoying it. I felt so bad cos it was as if i was punishing her. I did not cheat on her, but i must say i am tempted to and ve bn close to doing it but thank God, i ve bn able to walk away yet and hope I am able to till d whole thing is settled. Only time will tell. I ve survived so far by doing almost all the overtime at work, at least it serves as a distraction and the money will be very handful for the new member of the family. But its frustrating and almost mind twisting.
For those who say, u did not marry her 4 sex, well i take that as immaturity. Sex is a commandement in marriage and nothing breaks up a marriage or rship as much as sex. The Bible even says that u shd not deny ursef each other bodies except mutually agreed.

what a load of rubbish. You can be as ugly as Obj, if you are as rich as him or better still Bill gates all the girls will worship you and will even go the lenght and breath of the earth looking for babalawo to hook you.
Pure bullock, fine boy ni fine ko. Asuccessful guy wins any day