Am glad everyone is pouring out their mind. He even comes home late and yet expect the best treatment. I don't know his monicker I would have release it here so you guys can help me talk to him. Either ways let him read all these comments maybe God can use it to touch his heart. I have kids and am also doing business although he earns more than me. He's a civil servant. The whole thing self don tire me. Am also a graduate but I haven't gotten a good job for now. I was working in a bank but after our marriage I relocated with him so I lost the job because of that. Hmmm it is well. I pray God help me through this, I know God will help I didn't just want to deal with things foolishly that's why I came here for advice. I have gotten some and I will keep picking more. Thanks to you all

Thanks to everyone who has advice I really appreciate you all. God bless you all and you will not have problem in your life in Jesus name. I will apply wisdom to everything and curb all excesses.

experience is the best teacher, this has happened to my uncle, it led to divorce and he ended up marrying the side chick who now has a child for him, I don't want mine to end up the same way. infact things was already going bad because I bring this up in the house if not for the intervention of God and the people. He start being defensive in the house and pick up fault in the house. I am no longer pushing It and things is falling back in shape even better than before. But I just feel like I should address this part I want to know what I should do differently so I don't end up chasing him out. Have watch several you tube videos because of my case but I still feel I should talk to people to get direct feed back.

Richy4:
Why should I believe this story...?
<<Every reasonable individual will be worried about being infected because of the cheating husband...

<<Many will put on an imaginary trousers with padlock and refused to open up because of the betrayal... The emotions running through the individual that was cheated upon will be of confusion, sadness, raged/ anger , grief or even physical pains..the last thing on your mind will be to initiate sex..

<<We all knows that some men do cheat on their wife and spouses but please stop cooking up stories...

<<U should have asked those questions straight away to satisfy your curiosity if a wife should call the shots all the time in the bedroom or if good sex can keep men from cheating... not this kind of story to further dent the little image we were protecting for years...

Yeah I have but he denied it. I later involved someone he respect and analyze everything so he knows I know what am saying. He didn't confess to it. All he said was I am the best woman he has ever met and will choose me over and over again if he has to marry. I should stop bothering myself. He told the person he will put his house in order. And I stop pushing it since then.

IkeIgboNile:
Sex is not food though it's needed in relationships. Have you guys spoken about the cheating or do you think you can use sex and make him forget the other woman?

Thank you. I really appreciate

UpInTheSky:
B/c your initiating it most of the time didn't stop him and hasn't stopped him from cheating,
then, yes, reduce the initiating for now (let him initiate) and when you're at it, protect yourself ooo,
as you wouldn't want to catch anything from him, since he's sleeping with another/other women
outside your marriage, smh.

As for why he's cheating, only he knows, but know this: he's 100% responsible for his actions.
Him making the conscious decision to cheat is all on him and something he must own up to.

I do it because I want to keep him. Thanks a lot for your advice. I really appreciate.

rickpat:
first of all...do you initiate sex cus you are really in the mood or you do it cus you think it will make you keep the man?


secondly, since he is cheating it may be that he is getting satisfied sexually before he gets home ( please madam don't be sad, really trying not to appear too blunt)..but the truth is..since he turns you down most times...it's better you relax for a while but carry out your normal wifey duties and see if he will come to you...it's really risky having a cheating partner cus of infections..


lastly... madam nothing can make a cheating partner to stop... Except they really want to stop...if you like do all the duties...even change his car tyres for him when it's flat...he will still cheat... FAITHFULNESS IN A RELATIONSHIP IS A PERSONAL DECISION LACED WITH DISCIPLINE AND COMMITMENT....wish you the best...but be very careful

Thanks a lot I really appreciate

Felimax:
It is not bad for you to always initiate sex, it is not bad but if cares is not taking your husband will lost complete urge to having you.

Wearing bum short and sexy stuff may not just work for him.

This trick can burn you if not handle properly.

Men, when married sometimes see their spouse as a conquered and accomplished dream and the need to put in extra effort may be lost almost completely. It may result to you feeling not wanted or not attractive any longer. Some men also has a particular kind or shape of woman they so much admire and once married to you and they could not find those flavors they use to in you they will be attracted to the next best attractive thing according to their minds definition of attraction.

What can you do? Clean up and adjust what need to be adjusted. Bear, your urge and don't make the move like you use to. If you are the nagging type stop it for now. Plan and go for vacation if possible. Build your fantasies in his head very decently, still don't push it and watch how he will tear you into pieces. Just present to him that no matter what house food is always better than eating outside.

My husband and I are married for 4years now and God as really helped us but I am the one who initiate sex most of the time and it often makes me feel unwanted because he sometimes turn me down and it hurts �.
I am always on sexy bumshort, trousers e.t.c yet my guy go lock up.
Recently I found out that he's been cheating on me and it's really getting at me because I have never for once denied him of sex.
But however I am managing the whole situation so it doesn't scatter my home.
But I really want to seek advice
1. should I stop making advancement or initiating sex maybe that will make him wants me.
2. I also want to ask if initiating sex all the time as a woman is okay or I should stop for now.
3. Lastly if a man gets steady love, care, sex, good food and attention home. why then does he cheat?

Guys please kindly advise me on what to do.