₦airaland Forum

When you are thinking about your children's education. It is important to know what you believe about education, it is important you know the things that guide the choices you make when your children's education is involved.

Knowing your educational philosophy will guide you in the choice of school you take your children to, It will help you make the best decision for your child per time, it will help you know what is important and what isn't important when your children's education is involved.

I created this video to help you understand how to know your educational philosophy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siXQTpGOhTM&t=1s

Do you know your educational philosophy?

Check out the rest of my homeschooling for beginners videos here https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0CM8tAkuaSCEla1hpHSQZJqs1-SMK1dL
follow my homeschooling journey https://www.instagram.com/thecuddleblog/

Homeschooling in Africa is still in its early stages when compared to somewhere like the USA that has over 50 years under her belt, while there are thriving Homeschooling communities in countries like Ghana, Kenya, Uganda, Nigeria, South Africa, etc. we still have a dearth of information about Homeschooling in Africa. In this article I would be exploring, our strengths and our unique challenges in Africa with regard to Homeschooling, and how we can still thrive regardless of those challenges.


Introduction:
Let's start with defining what Homeschooling is; I always define Home education as parenting pro max because your child is in your face 90% of the time but that's just my own definition, a more acceptable one is creating an individualized education for your child. It is an alternative form of education where parents take on the primary responsibility for their children's learning. I believe Africans need to embrace Home education as a viable alternative to education and not just for individuals but as a way to curb the current out-of-school children or children from low-income families, but that is a conversation for another day.



Understand The Benefits of Homeschooling in Africa:
There are some general benefits of Homeschooling but when we look at most African countries, we are still behind with global education standards. Here are some benefits to us as Africans

- Personalized Learning: Tailored education to meet each child's unique needs and learning style.
- Cultural Celebration: Incorporating local cultures, traditions, and languages into the curriculum, in a world where our culture is fading into the background, we have the opportunity to celebrate and incorporate our culture into the education our children receive. Once we have a true African network of Homeschoolers we can cross-promote our rich cultural experiences.

- Flexibility: Ability to create a schedule that balances education with other responsibilities and activities.

- Access to Digital Resources: Utilizing online learning tools, books, and educational apps that are diverse for a well-rounded education.

- Nurturing Environment: Encouraging exploration of interests and development of critical thinking skills and curating the environment of your children to fit those interests.

- Strong Parent-Child Bond: Active parental involvement fosters a strong relationship and instills essential values.

- Life Skills Preparation: Equipping children with practical life skills for success in a diverse world.

- Freedom: There are still quite a number of countries that don't have any formal structure for Homeschooling and that can also be a benefit because you have the freedom to give your child the education you know they deserve without the government limiting your power as a parent.




Understanding The Challenges of Homeschooling in Africa:
We also have our unique challenges in this part of the world and once we understand them, it can help us know how to navigate it better.

- High cost of getting curriculums & resources: In certain regions, access to quality educational materials and resources can be challenging and expensive because you might get boxed curriculums from countries like the USA and when you consider exchange rates and shipping costs, it starts running high.

- Legal Recognition and Regulation: Homeschooling for the most part of Africa lack formal recognition, leading to uncertainties and potential legal barriers in some countries.

- Lack of awareness: Homeschooling not being mainstream can cause people to question your decision, offer you unsolicited advice, and just make the experience not so pleasant outside of your circles.

- Time and Commitment: Homeschooling requires a significant time commitment from parents, impacting their other responsibilities and activities, and being in a difficult economy this can pose a challenge as you might become a one-income family.

- Lack of Support Networks: In some areas, the absence of homeschooling communities and support networks can lead to isolation.

- Parental Qualifications: Parents may feel inadequately qualified to teach certain subjects or address advanced educational needs.

- Standardized Testing and Assessments: Homeschooling families may encounter challenges in accessing standardized testing or assessments required for certain educational paths or future opportunities.



Understanding the legal and regulatory concerns:
We have to understand the legalities and regulations that are available to each African country; Based on my research only South Africa has a law legalizing Homeschooling and only Sierra Leone has banned Homeschooling. Every other country doesn't have any specific law banning or endorsing Homeschooling. In South Africa, there are guidelines for Homeschooling families to follow.


Understanding how to map out your child's education in Africa:
For you to make Homeschooling effective in Africa, you have to understand the trajectory your child's education will take so you can know what you would like to do. In the USA for example, there are different ways you can use to record your child's education transcript and everything they get up to so it makes transitioning to traditional school/college seamless, however, in most African countries there are no set guidelines or regulations to follow so you have to be proactive as a parent.

In whatever African country you are, you have to understand where your child will transition back into the traditional schooling or the exams needed to write to get into the university and prepare for that. I know in Nigeria, we write an exam after Primary 6, After Jss3 and SS3 (Jamb & Waec) to enter the university. You have to make a plan ahead to know where you will transition them and prepare them for those exams if you want to.



Understanding the need for assessment and record keeping:
In countries, where Homeschooling is thriving and growing, is because a lot of Homeschoolers are documenting their journey, and success stories, and also aside from that, because we are not forced by the government to keep records doesn't mean we shouldn't. We have to make the habit of assessing our kids and keeping detailed records of their progress not because we want to prove anything to anyone but because it is important to measure for more societal acceptance.


Understanding the need for advocacy & recognition:
We need to continue to raise awareness for the availability of this alternative form of education.

https://youtu.be/YCpwS2E7Ayc?si=kYBF7sE37G_HpnsK
https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2023/07/how-to-effectively-homeschool-in-africa.html

What are your thoughts on how Homeschooling in Africa can be effective?

Sometimes all you have to do is hear other people story and see that it is possible. Create value, show people the value and make money;


Here is my own story:

I started doing product photography, I opened an Instagram account and optimized it so my target audience could find me, joined some communities and started doing product shoots. I've been making money from there for 2 years+ now.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU3VQIIaluM

It's always so easy for people to say "go and make money" however in the reality of the word. It's not as easy as that, what then is the reality of making money as a SAHM?




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmwQV_Mcs1Q

When you have little ones that are not ready to go to school yet and you wonder what should they be doing?


1. Freedom within boundaries: Let them be free to touch things, carry things, and explore things.

2. A prepared environment: Any space where you don't have to be saying "No" all the time. Have toys within reach, have books within reach, cover up sockets, remove things you don't want to break, move the center table etc.

3. Books: Read books, have books for them to explore, look at, feel etc.

4. Outdoor time: Loads of outdoor times to walk around, see, touch sand, grass etc.

5. Loveeeee: They need Love. Hugs, kisses... More hugs more kisses, enjoy while the tantrums are still short. 😂

6. Live life with you: They need to see you live life and carry them alongside your living. Enter the kitchen together, load the laundry, eat together etc.

7. Structured play: (I won't call this one a need sha but "nice to have ) activities that promote, sensory, fine motor skill, boosts creativity, gross motor skills, science etc.

Honestly, if you just give your LOs the environment to thrive, you have done 50% of the work.
What else would you say 1-2 year old need at home?


www.thecuddleblog.com

Dear SAHM.

I think it's imperative that I write you to be other voice you might need to hear in this era where the only conversation where you are being called in is where you need to make money.

First I need you to know that your value is so so much more than money. If you make the choice to be a SAHM or it happened to you. I need you to first rest in that YOU are the VALUE.

Secondly, know that some people who give you advice on the internet are not in the same season as you are. Some of them have grandchildren (they won't remind you they took time off work to take care of their children) some of them have older kids and some of them might have multiple support systems going for them. Before you let their words pressure you, put that into consideration.

Thirdly, While money is GOOD and I do advocate for you to make money KNOW that there is a REALITY to adding a business to all the other things you do. Sleep deprivation is real, marketing is real, spending hours talking to customers is real, and needing focused time to plan the business is real! There is NO business that you create and will just run itself... YOU WILL STILL PUT IN THE WORK. But know that going in, there is also no miracle dollars that will fall on your lap, you will still work for it!

Fourthly, if your husband has a business, it is YOUR BUSINESS. Why? Like they say, if anything happens to your husband will the business too just die?

Lastly, it's not everyone's husband that something will happen to, and also know that even the working woman her life will also not be the same if she loses her spouse. Don't let fear be your motivation for making decisions.

I advocate for being strategic and smart in your decision to be a SAHM, tune out the noise (because it will be alot), be content with where you are because you know it's not forever.


your fellow stay at home mum

Tomilola www.instagram.com/thecuddleblog
www.thecuddleblog.com

Places you can take your kids in Lagos. Click for review to the places mentioned


Beaches

The Good Beach https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2022/09/thegoodbeach-review-ii-place-to-go-with.html
Landmark Beach https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2022/01/landmark-beach-2022-update-review.html
Tarkwa Bay

Spend less than 3k

Lekki Conservation https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2020/05/review-lekki-conservation-center-what.html
National Museum https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2022/01/national-museum-places-to-go-with-kids.html
Railway compound Yaba https://www.instagram.com/p/B9ug--vnba3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Freedom Park https://www.instagram.com/tv/B7hDPZslWGo/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Lufasi Park https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2021/01/lufasi-park-review-homeschool-field-trip.html
Green Fingers [url]


Spend more than 5k/child

Landmark Kids Club
Fun Factory
Hiimpact
Emmanuel Park
Omu Resort https://www.instagram.com/p/CJF8AmjlE_j/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
VR in Palms


Free

Fire Station https://www.instagram.com/reel/CizzV7Fj-4m/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Lagos State Parks
(Muri Okunola, JTT, Kanu Ndubisi, Ojota etc)
Nike art Gallery
National Stadium
LVI art Gallary https://www.instagram.com/p/CjiJ0iGDOoy/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link


Meaningful PLAY

Mindscape Museum https://www.instagram.com/reel/CowgTQWDZpS/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Upbeat [url][/url]
Fun Ville https://www.instagram.com/reel/CaVTD29DQfY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Funtasticaland
Skatecity


Arcade Places

Funzia world https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiNIjutD-xn/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Froggles Play zone https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cfmi-kKjYgR/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Play Zone
Atlantic Mall
Novare Mall
Rufus & Bee

New Places to explore In 2023

National Theater
Blue Line
John Randle Center

If you have been wondering and planning for the holiday as it approaches on what to do with your kids. I am here to help.

I also worked with other people out of my city to curate this list too based on their experience and feedback.

Click the link to down load[url]https://www.dropbox.com/s/hhpsw3jqhnixzze/2021%20Summer%20outing%20list.pdf?dl=0
[/url]

I hope it helps you create fun, loving memories of the holiday with your kids.

Have fun.

When I started my journey as a stay at home mum, one of the things I found out that was very challenging for me was the fact that I found it very hard to stay productive in the midst of changing diapers, a fussy baby and trying to entertain a baby. There was little or no chance to be productive and at night when you feel that you could be productive, you had to sleep.

I went round the circle for a couple of months and I found out that I hardly and rarely got anything done and when I did, it was with a struggle.

Here are my tips to help you be productive;

1. Put in the work: I know that you are extremely tired and exhausted from all things that you do during the day but you need to know somewhere at the back of your mind that you need to put in the work. If we keep hiding behind tiredness and exhaustion (Which is legit) we wont do anything else aside taking care of our children and the home but we also want to be productive and do things that will develop us as women and not be on the same level during our stay at home periods.


2. Set time aside: Set a block of time designated as your “working hours” this time is dedicated to doing uninterrupted work to make progress. No multitasking, pick one thing and finish then move to the next. I set my block of time after my child has slept and I dedicate those times to do the work I need to do and move on.

3. Get armed with the right tools: Now that you have adjusted your mind to know that you need to work hard, it's time for the right tools. Let’s start with your environment. Ask yourself, what is making me unproductive. Clutter? No designated space? Noise? Deal with that. When you have a decluttered designated working Space, you will become more productive. What gets you in the right frame of mind? I listen to music (I have a playlist) and I get in the mood to do some work because I get so pumped. So, what gets you in the right frame of mind? Music? Affirmations? What other tools help? A journal to document what you want to achieve for the day, to-do lists and follow through.

4. Get rid of the distractions: This days one of our biggest distractions is our phones. I put my phone in another room when I need to work. I know some of us need our phones to work, you can block off notifications, put it on airplane mode, turn it upside down. Whatever, is distracting you should be done away with for the block of time.

5. Reward yourself when you achieve your goals (no matter how small) You want to create a system where you are expecting your reward for smashing your goal for the week. I kick back and catch up on my shows when I do achieve my goals.

6. Review at the end of the week or the beginning of the next week; You are reviewing your productivity level and your work system. What were you able to achieve in the week? Why was I able to achieve it? What was I not able to achieve? Why wasn't I able to achieve it?? Which work system is working? Which isn't? What fuels my productivity? What doesn't? Am I making progress towards my overall goal? These are questions you want to answer weekly.

7. Rest! Take a day off! Just rest because body no be firewood.

It is only with discipline that all of this is achievable. Stay disciplined and be productive! In my next post, I will share my practical list of what keeps me productive.

So, how do you stay productive today? What are your biggest challenges with productivity? let me know.


www.thecuddleblog.com
[url]instagram.com/thecuddleblog[/url]

Are you tired of your kids watching TV?

Well, that is why I am here!

I am not here to give you a list of activities to do but to help you see that there is so much more that can be done with your kids. I know some mums already do but some other mums will be just be thinking of doing their homework and letting them bing watch tv but how do we get out of that mode?

1. You have to re-think play & the mess they make: We are so focused on academics and what we experienced play as that we think play is anything that children do that takes them away from school work. If you still think like that you have to re-think play. Play is the work of a child and seeing and knowing (based on research) that children learn so much from playing we should encourage them to actually play but what we do as parents it to guide the play and be intentional about it. Play is not just pouring sand and swinging, it is an opportunity to learn. For example, a child dipping a foam in water and squeezing it on the floor is not just making a mess but working his/her fine motor skill which will help in writing in future, a child feeding him/herself is not making a mess but learning focus, hand to mouth coordination. We have to see beyond the mundane and discover what they are learning in the process so we can encourage it and know that it will come with a mess.

2. Plan: The only reason why we become frustrated is that we didn't plan and anticipate what would come next. You know how long the holiday will be, plan and as you are going into the day resolve to not get angry.
Segment the day into morning/afternoon/night and before you know it the day is over.

Morning is easy, cook breakfast together, let them set the table or serve (depending on the age), do circle time - pray together, let them sing rhymes or sing to them (age dependent), read a book, dance,

Afternoon, plan for crafts (tons of ideas online), nap, cook lunch together, work on a project, some children won't mind another book, an outing(museum, zoo, parks), holiday clubs, play dates, screen time.

Evening; Outdoor play, water play (tons of ideas online), playground, night routine.

Just take time out to fill out what will be done each day of the week. It is also a plan that can be given to a nanny if you are going to be at work and join in the fun when you get back. With this plan there would be less tv.



3. Work on a Project: This one is for the parents with a 9-5 and older kids, the younger ones are easier to please. Pick a project most especially something that doesn't seem like homework lol. Type in Google "fun projects to do with (age of your child)" and boom! Just ensure you check in with them before you settle on the exact ones you want to do. You can then work on the project with them when you get back from work.

4. If all fails, take them to grandmas or bring them to my house. Lol!

Looking for more play ideas?
go to www.thecuddleblog.com

What is an attention span

Attention span is the amount of time spent concentrating on a task before becoming distracted [Wikipedia]

What is the realistic real attention span;
Children in their early years are not developed for the expectations we put on them in different areas of their lives, from walking to running to writing, and more so in our part of the world but today let's look at what we should expect.



There are different studies that the numbers can be different but here's how to calculate it
Children's attention span is 3-5 mins per year of your child age.

Here is an example chart:

This list only shows what they are capable of, it doesn't exactly mean your 2-year-old will actually sit for an activity for 6 mins because there are other factors that inform if they will actually sustain their attention for the stipulated time. The time we should be worried as parents are when all things being equal (check the what affects attention span below) is when they still can't seem to pay attention and hyperactive. Don't forget to always consult your paediatrician if you feel anything is out of place.



Factors that affect attention span;


Environment; A highly stimulating environment can affect the attention span of your child. If there is a lot of distraction in the environment, it's not realistic to expect that they will be focused on the activity. Even as adults, who have the developmental capacity to focus for longer, we get distracted by something as simple as our phone ringing how much more kids?


Maternal Behavior: This study shows that maternal behaviour can affect the attention span of children. I would not necessarily say maternal behaviour, I would say primary caregiver because whoever interacts with the child the most can affect them. The summary of the study is if we are not warm and interactive with our children and we fall back to snapping at them, nagging them about something constantly intruding into their focused time to "correct" them can interfere with the cognitive function of focus that is developing.


Their needs are not met: If the needs of the child are not met, there is so much focus that can be achieved. The need for food, expend energy, sleep, love, are some of the things that can affect them.


Exhaustion: We know how hyperactive children get when they want to sleep? Imagine trying to get them to do an activity that requires focus at that time. Isn't it impossible? Sometimes we don't pay attention to those things.
How can we help our children increase their attention span?

Interest-based activities: Have you noticed how your children are always focused more on activities they either choose themselves or are interested in? Even as adults, when you are somewhere you don't want to be you start fiddling with your phone or sleeping. Think about how you can make the thing you want your child to do interest them. e.g if your child is into Legos and you want to teach a new math concept, there is nothing wrong with using legos to introduce the concept and you'd see how much difference that makes.


Step back and observe: When your child is into an activity and you think they are not doing it 'correctly' just step back and observe when they are done, you can show them the right approach to it. I am also guilty of jumping in to show the right way but I'm learning that my jumping is a distraction too. So, step back and observe. The reason why you are observing is to let the cognitive function of focus continue to develop without your interruption.


Provide structure for the day: A routine can help them understand what comes next and can help them know when it is time for a sit-down and when they do it over time it would be something they expect throughout the day.


Pick optimal times to schedule focus activities: Whatever time you know to be your child's optimal time, create the focus activities around that time and lower your expectations based on circumstances that are happening around in your lives per time e.g we are in the middle of a pandemic and children all over the world have been thrown into a new normal, let's not expect super well-behaved children that do all the activities put in front of them quietly and follow all the instructions without properly stabilising them for the new normal. If you've just moved house is another example. Just remain sensitive.


Read More

https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2020/05/how-to-increase-your-childs-attention.html
Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thecuddleblog/

MONEY!! Money is one of the biggest issues when you are thinking of becoming a SAHM. The world will worry for you, you will worry for yourself and while I don't believe that money should be too much in the focus when talking to SAHMs but we know that it is also important.
What are the ways you can make money as a SAHM?

1. LET YOUR FAMILY GIVE YOU A SALARY: 
Yes! Sometimes all you need to do is "ask". I know some people will say "Good luck with that" but the truth is that it is possible. I also understand that all fingers are not equal (Income, reasonable partner) but it's important to be realistic before you ask, but some people only need to just ask! It's really that simple. ⠀

Being realistic includes knowing what your partner earns and knowing if it's realistic for them to give you something small (no matter how small) without it affecting major family expenses. ⠀


Men are logical, some of them just need a logical reason why they need to pay you something, you can make a list of what you are saving the family by being a stay at home mum and explain that you also don't want to have to keep asking for money for every single thing. ⠀
It's absolutely important not to make the conversation too 'serious' because you don't want to put your partner under additional pressure, you can always add to your partner "There is no pressure, just something for you to think about and consider" ⠀

For some people, it might happen immediately you ask, for others it will be an ongoing conversation till your point is heard but do have the conversation as much as you need to without the pressure. You get? 


2. START A BUSINESS: Starting a business is another way to make money. Know that the way you do your business as a SAHM is going to be different and make peace with that first then;
 
1. Identify the business you want to do 
2. Strategise the lease path of resistance Create a process around what you do (after like a month of doing it) and document it
3. Leverage on technology and work towards automation
4. Be ready to sacrifice
5. You have to be organized to the T 
6. Delegate as you grow 
7. Let excellence be your watchword ⠀

I will give an example of my life.

I love photography but it is very demanding as a business, If you have to take portraits, you know it's largely dependent on when the client is available, so I went into product photography (I wish I could say it was strategic but I make it work) In product photography I designed my business model to charge extra if a client wants to be in the shoot, this way I control my time and I can shoot at night when my son is sleeping. My process also says they get their images 3-5 business days after the shoot which gives me enough turn around time to get the job out. - That is my least path to resistant.


Think of how you can strategise your kind of business. If you are passionate about make-up, do you have to do make-up for people?Are there people who can churn out work the same day? YES! Am I one of them? No! Do I have customers? Yes, as much as those people? No! Opportunity cost!
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In my product-based business, I am free (days I don't have to be there to homeschool) on Tues and Thursdays. I schedule everything I need to do in those days, (going to market, packing playboxes, editing videos etc etc.) If your child goes to school you have some hours 5 days a week - make the best of those hours.
As small as my businesses are, they have a process, it is not as full-blown in a word document as all the big companies but I have my processes (written down in a book) for writing a blog post, snapping a bag, snapping a shoe, what to look out for, social media post (not all), market, packing playboxes etc. this makes it more efficient and less time-consuming.

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Leverage technology, in any way and every way. Automate your processes, start with google forms, let them fill out a form to order or WhatsApp or use invoicing apps to help you eliminate paper and book.
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You have to be organized. I know it's not easy and it won't happen in a day honestly. But you have to be organized at least 60% of the time, planning and planning is important. Like someone can't just tell me to come now (well except it is from UN sha) berra pick a Tues or Thursday.

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Let excellence be your watchword, if you are selling products, pick the best to sell. If you are offering a service, be excellent at it. So that when you say, you can only deliver in "2 weeks" they will be willing to wait for YOU!
You also want to read the things to consider before starting a business as a stay-at-home mum


3.  START A BLOG: I have a 3 part series on this on Instagram, you can listen below;
 
1. https://www.instagram.com/tv/B9rmTvlnq0f/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
2. https://www.instagram.com/tv/B9r9vWKHBCB/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
3. https://www.instagram.com/tv/B9tb3YXFK_P/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link


4. AFFILIATE MARKETING: 
Affiliate marketing, how does it work?

You see when you recommend a product to someone and they buy from that vendor, the vendor is happy(because they made more sale), you are happy that you helped someone out?
⠀
How about if you believe in a product so much that you don't mind marketing it to your friends? and instead of you to just feel fulfilled you get a commission on the product? The vendor is happy, you are happy? because you made small money.
⠀
How do people use it? They sign up for an affiliate network say Jumia, and I have a youtube/IG/Blog where I either share my life, share reviews and when I am talking about certain products I say "I got it from Jumia, if you want you can use the link in my bio to purchase" they use your link you get small money, the more you sell, the more money you get. Simple maths. ⠀

Only it's not that simple, you need numbers for it to make sense, but I will say if you want to go this route, start from when your audience is small so they are used to your style of doing things and as you grow your income grows too. you get? ⠀

The logic is that they won't get those customers anyway if it wasn't for your influence... so, pay me small money from your profit for my effort on your business. you get? ⠀
How can you use it? ⠀

Small businesses around you, there are quite a number of small businesses who won't mind for you to actively push their business for them and get a certain commission, the downside is that they are not established and you are not sure how they can be, so pick people with integrity and ensure you document your agreement. ⠀

If you are in the diaspora or you have major traffic from the diaspora, you need to use Amazon, they have a wide range of products that you can always talk about and their network is tried and trusted. ⠀
Jumia and Konga have affiliate networks that I cannot vouch for (if you've used them you can comment below) and there are quite a number of other high paying affiliate networks online. ⠀
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A lot of bloggers/YouTubers and SAHMs in diaspora use these affiliate networks to earn millions. I kid you not, it's huge and this is kinda sorta the model for network marketing.


5. INVESTMENT: 
Returns on Investment(s)
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We know that investment is a marathon and not spring and in order to invest you have to save because let's face it, investment is not exactly cheap! But you can begin to grow your reserve so you can take advantage of opportunities when they come! Start saving, no matter how small, gradually you'd save enough to invest in something that gives you passive income, that way nobody can tell you nothing. So,

Start saving 
Keep eyes out for opportunities 
Get financially intelligent, read books, listen to youtube videos on the subject
Track your expenses to maximize your savings


[url]Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com[/url]
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As a Christian family, one of your values will be to transfer the knowledge of Jesus to your children. They need to know God's word to be able to achieve that and I say that any child that can tell me "leave me alone" can recite the Bible.


I started teaching simple Bible verses to my son at bedtime, one every 2 weeks or 3 (no pressure) the goal is not for them to just know how to recite but it's for them to have the word hid in their hearts and as they grow older and curiosity spikes we can then educate them about God, his word, his son and everything in-between.

I have carefully selected 30 simple Bible verses that you can recite with your children, at bedtime, in the car, on the road, in the shower, while taking a work, literally anytime! So simple that my almost 3 years old now knows some bible verses and can complete them when we start reciting.
Remember, the goal is not to do a quiz for them to see if they 'get' it. The goal is to keep putting the word before them and KNOW that as they grow older they have God's word hid in their hearts.

Some days they would be interested and other days they won't, don't sweat it! Being *Insert your childs age* is fine!

[img]https://1.bp..com/-q5c0cpsyz1s/Xh99TZWZuyI/AAAAAAABZxk/RnNILaqoOdA6VXa6u6GuJjbLR6Bo2A4HwCEwYBhgL/s1600/Homeschooling%2Bbasics%2B%25282%2529.jpg[/img]

Click the link to download all

https:///oqGT12UEDP3pimt58

Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/thecuddleblog

One of the important aspects of raising godly children is prayer.
Most of our children cannot go past "Thank God for Mummy & Daddy" in prayer and while it is a good start we have to continue to teach them HOW to pray.
Here's a simple way to do that;

1. Model prayer to them: Don't do a child's version prayer when you are praying for them during bedtime because you want it to be simple and I am not saying be speaking in tongues but model conversations with God, talking to God and not just "Thank you for Daddy and Mummy" they will do as they see. Teach the Lord's prayer: When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, the Lord's prayer was his response. Your 2-year-old can repeat after you as long as they can tell you to "leave me alone" they can say God's word or say a prayer. This is the model of prayer and we have to let them know. 
2. Let them pray: Let it be part of their morning and evening routine to pray, give them the room to pray and don't always say the prayer for them, let them learn and refuse the urge to 'correct' anything, as you continue to model how to pray they will continue to learn. 

3. Give room to listen to God: This wasn't part of my list but the holy spirit dropped this in my spirit right now and I have to start doing this. One of my own major problems is actually settling down to listen to God's heart, how about if I start incorporating it for my child to let him understand that prayer is a 2-way communication. Of course for younger children, you can't expect much but just model it and watch how they understand the concept as they grow older. Have some silence after talking to God to listen to what he has to say, older kids can write down what they hear from God too. 

4. Be consistent and let God lead you: Consistency is key, you cannot pray today and not pray tomorrow, habits are formed by consistency, remember we are laying the foundation for the future of our children. Let God lead in everything. I hope these tips will help you teach your children to pray! 
Here's to raising godly children because that is what God wants. Malachi 2:15 

Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/thecuddleblog

As a sahm before you start a business here are some of the things to consider;

1. Examine your why: I know there are different categories of sahms - The ones who have no choice because it’s a cheaper option for their family, the ones who their husbands pay them for it, the ones who are unappreciated by their spouses, the ones who can’t get a job - and because they want to just ‘make money’ they start a business. I want to let you know that you are not obligated to start a business because you are a sahm but if you feel that you want to do it, you need to examine your why to make it a worthwhile venture. Business is not beans and it requires serious commitment and consistency. So, examine why you want to start if it is “just to make money” I will tell you for free right now, It is not enough.

2. Business can make you lose focus on why you became a sahm - don’t let it: This is if your reason are your kids. Business is a growing baby and requires so much attention and if you are not careful it can take your focus away from your kids. Don’t be underANY pressure to do your business like the Instagram coaches advice (keep it in your left pocket because someday it will be useful) because your realities are not the same, the choices you made are not the same, so focus on your own focus.

3. Go all out but take it slow: Look at business as a marathon and not a sprint. Go all out in the sense that when you are planning for your business, look at it like it will be a global brand someday (if that’s what you want) but take it slow in the sense that you are not rushing when your kids are still in their early years to be in all the stores nationwide(you get?) know your season and be willing to cut back on the “success” without feeling any remorse.

4. Know that starting a business is not the only way to find fulfillment in this life: As a sahm we are always told to “go and make money” and whatever you do might eventually make money or become a business but you will already be fulfilled doing what you love doing.If you have some savings, you can explore investment opportunities, you can start a blog talking about what you love love love, you can volunteer for a cause you are passionateabout, you can start a podcast, read books, have a bookclub etc.

I hope that these tips will help you as you go along on your journey!

Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/thecuddleblog

I recently used the “Ask me a question” tag on Instagram and the only question I got from 2 different people is “Why don't you show your son's face?” I will give my reasons in this post.



The short answer to it is; The Internet never forgets



But let’s go to the long answer:



As much as we absolutely love our children and want to show them to the world, we need to see them as individuals who although might be little right now, have a future.



There are 2 ways to look at it, Privacy & Security.





Let’s start with Privacy:



We were not born in the age where our parents could plaster our lives all over the internet for the world to see. Now, Imagine this. Someone just has to type your name in Google and your baby pictures, video of your birth, your childhood, the food you ate, didn’t like all over the internet. How does that make you feel?



I still struggle with “How much is too much?” especially when you do choose to blog about your motherhood experience and I will share more on that later. Let’s go back to this privacy thing.



A situation happened earlier in the year where a 9-year-old girl found her mums article about her online and saw all the images she had been posting of her since she was a child and expressly told her mum to please stop posting about her online. Her mum refused but she said they came to a middle ground (Read more about it here)



Was daughter making a fuss? Was the mother right?



As an individual based on your personality, your worldview and experiences you don’t mind sharing your life but can you say the same for your child? When this mother was sharing her child's life online, she did it based on herself and the child is now old enough as has decided that she doesn’t want it. How are you sure your child will want it?



Children don’t understand the internet, until we explain it to them and I believe until we do (giving them the benefits and consequences of it) they should then give their consent if they would want that for themselves or not.



It would interest you to know that even if you delete something, the internet never forgets. It only takes a determined person to find it.



Another example is of a mum who shared something about her son online, she has deleted the original post (on the surface internet) but a screenshot of it still exists with the picture of her son and unless the person who posted that screenshot deletes it (It will always be there on the underground internet though), it would be there for when her son grows older and googles her name. Find the article here



Our children are entitled to their privacy, just as we are entitled to ours and make a choice as to what we want to post, when we want to post and on what platform. We should give our children the same choice.



On Security:



There are bad people in the world and around us and as much as we would like to “God forbid” everything, it is there. I was watching one Instagram celebrity on snapchat a while ago and while she was careful not to show the name of her sons school while showing herself dropping him off, I caught a glimpse of a friend of mine who was the boys teacher and by knowing the creche she was in, I could easily find out the school she took her children to. I am not a bad person and I don’t wish any negative thing happens to her but do we all vet everyone that views our children's pictures? Or videos online?



Another perfect example is a blogger online who wished her daughter happy birthday with pictures of her only for her to see her daughters image on a guys page calling her “boo” she tried to report the image, the account and Instagram didn’t take it down. Imagine her horror! She doesn’t know this person from anywhere!!!!!



Images from your account can be downloaded and used, It is just not safe! She has since removed all her family pictures online.



Another analogy I use is, you know how you feel like you know some celebrities because you see them often on screen? That’s what happens when people see your children that you share online, everyone will greet them like they know them and children don’t know who is ‘bad’ and ‘good’.



Many things can be deduced from a single image and from series of your images, 2 and 2 can be put together.



How can you protect your children online?


Don’t call them by their real names online; not because you don’t want people to know their names but in future, if someone types your child's full name, it won’t bring out their life history.


Don’t show their faces; Again even if by chance they find out the pseudo name you gave your child online, there won’t be a face to the name and anyone that is not close enough to you or doesn’t meet you in this life won’t know what your child looks like, most especially if you are in the public eyes - they can have a normal life.


If you are not a blogger, any vital info of your child shouldn’t be out there; School, class, what they ate, where they play etc. This can be deduced by things like school drop-offs, uniform pictures, showing your trip to somewhere. Simple things like that.


Ask your family not to post their pictures and if they HAVE to, have the control: Let them ask for permission, give them the picture you want to be out there IF they have to post it and tell them not to tag you! Think about it, no one will really go and be searching for grandmas name to find your child.


Keep your account private: While this is not necessarily effective in my opinion but it is a level of care because there is an extra layer of security on your account but know that your pictures can still be downloaded.


Just don’t post their pictures. Simple. I know, we all want to talk about our kids that’s why we have a family Whatsapp group. Lol. If it’s itching me too much, I post to my sisters to see the wonders their nephew is doing.




If you are a blogger this portion is for you;



I still struggle with “How much is too much” when I share but I have my goal in front of me, which is to encourage, inspire and build a community of stay-at-home & Homeschooling mums. I weigh the picture(faceless) or content in light of this goal and I ask myself, “will this picture just bring me likes and comments?” then I don’t share those that fall into that category.



How can a blogger know exactly what to post about their kids;


Know the long term consequences of sharing online and decide which you can live with


Be aware that your child can in the future tell you to stop posting about them, think about it and make a decision on what to post based on that.


Know that in some cases, some information cannot leave the internet. So, be guided before you post.


Be aware of all the risks and possible “weak points” you might have most especially if you have a larger audience and take extra caution.


If you are working with brands, let them know the boundaries (upfront) when your children are involved and be willing to let go of any opportunity that doesn’t respect those.




I understand that this might sound “too serious” and you may be in the “It’s not that serious gang” (Just like me a few years ago) but we have to understand that we are indeed responsible for our kids and their well being and we would be the first to be hit hard when something we took lightly isn’t so light anymore.



P.S: If you are a blogger and you have a URL you want to ‘erase’ from Google, use this link. Thank me later.



What are your thoughts? Should it be this serious?



Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/thecuddleblog

One of the things that I see so much of and notice is that most homeschooling mums are former
early years teachers and because of that most of the content I have seen don’t cater to the
regular mum who just sees the need to homeschool her child(ren) for whatever reason. When
you hear “Homeschooling” we probably think it only teaching your kids Maths and English at
home but in my journey to home educate my son, I have seen that it is a whole lot more than
that. That is what I hope to shed more light on in this article;
Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

● Know that it’s a long term commitment & find strength; For you to be reading this article
it means you have made a decision or planning to make the decision to homeschool
your child. When we make the decision we have one focus, the education of our
children and we have to keep that focus on every day because there will be hard days
and there will be days you feel like you are not doing the right thing but with the focus in
mind, it will give us the tenacity and will power to move forward. Commitment is what is
going to keep us moving forward on the days we don’t feel like it. Just like a Job, you
have to show up ‘everyday’ for your child(ren) because you understand that their
learning is important to you.

● Be on the same page with your spouse: This is a very important part of the process.
Most homeschooling families the mother is responsible for the homeschooling process,
most of it is based on the mother's philosophy of education, research on the curriculum
to use and just informs the spouse or significant other as against, both partners sitting
down to define everything involved and making the decisions together. In the situation
where he is 100% involved, he can be a sounding board for ideas, help in making the
decision for the curriculum to use, he can take your home education session
occasionally. The truth is that we all need support and isn’t it absolutely amazing when it
comes from your spouse.

● Check the Laws of your country: In Nigeria, from the research, I have done,
homeschooling is permissible, however, there are some things that need to be taken into
consideration. How long do you want to homeschool? Are you in it till university level? Or
just for primary education? Your answers to these questions will determine if you should
be ‘worried’ about the laws in Nigeria or not. I am putting in steps to find out more on the
laws but from the information I have, you can’t register for common entrance except
through a school but if it is for WAEC there is an option to register a private student. The
whole information is sketchy because all the information I have are from online sources
that are not verifiable because there are no clear standards in this country, however, I
am working on finding out more official information. In the USA there are clear laws,
requirements in each state all you have to do is search for the laws of your state to figure
out what you need to do to ensure you are doing the right thing.

READ MORE BELOW

Read More: https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2019/05/homeschooling-101-getting-started-with.html
Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Instagram: www.Instagram.com/thecuddleblog

It is possible to homeschool in Nigeria, I am currently doing it and I know a couple more people. Depending on the age of your child, I have an article for simple homeschooling guide...

https://www.thecuddleblog.com/2018/11/homeschooling-in-nigeria.html?m=1

You can send an email to me if you have any questions
thecuddleblog@gmail.com I'm also @thecuddleblog on Instagram

When I started my journey as a stay at home mum, one of the things I found out that was very challenging for me was the fact that I found it very hard to stay productive in the midst of changing diapers, a fussy baby and trying to entertain a baby. There was little or no chance to be productive and at night when you feel that you could be productive, you had to sleep.



I went round the circle for a couple of months and I found out that I hardly and rarely got anything done and when I did, it was with a struggle.



Here are my tips to help you be productive;



Put in the work: I know that you are extremely tired and exhausted from all things that you do during the day but you need to know somewhere at the back of your mind that you need to put in the work. If we keep hiding behind tiredness and exhaustion (Which is legit) we wont do anything else aside taking care of our children and the home but we also want to be productive and do things that will develop us as women and not be on the same level during our stay at home periods.





Set time aside: Set a block of time designated as your “working hours” this time is dedicated to doing uninterrupted work to make progress. No multitasking, pick one thing and finish then move to the next. I set my block of time after my child has slept and I dedicate those times to do the work I need to do and move on.



Get armed with the right tools: Now that you have adjusted your mind to know that you need to work hard, it's time for the right tools. Let’s start with your environment. Ask yourself, what is making me unproductive. Clutter? No designated space? Noise? Deal with that. When you have a decluttered designated working Space, you will become more productive. What gets you in the right frame of mind? I listen to music (I have a playlist) and I get in the mood to do some work because I get so pumped. So, what gets you in the right frame of mind? Music? Affirmations? What other tools help? A journal to document what you want to achieve for the day, to-do lists and follow through.



Get rid of the distractions: This days one of our biggest distractions is our phones. I put my phone in another room when I need to work. I know some of us need our phones to work, you can block off notifications, put it on airplane mode, turn it upside down. Whatever, is distracting you should be done away with for the block of time.



Reward yourself when you achieve your goals (no matter how small) You want to create a system where you are expecting your reward for smashing your goal for the week. I kick back and catch up on my shows when I do achieve my goals.



Review at the end of the week or the beginning of the next week; You are reviewing your productivity level and your work system. What were you able to achieve in the week? Why was I able to achieve it? What was I not able to achieve? Why wasn't I able to achieve it?? Which work system is working? Which isn't? What fuels my productivity? What doesn't? Am I making progress towards my overall goal? These are questions you want to answer weekly.



Rest! Take a day off! Just rest because body no be firewood.



It is only with discipline that all of this is achievable. Stay disciplined and be productive! In my next post, I will share my practical list of what keeps me productive.



So, tell me, how do you stay productive today? What are your biggest challenges with productivity? let me know.

Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxV06-6LHRqXqj6tZGhjEig?sub_confirmation=1

Feb 9th, 2017 - 33 Weeks

Wow, it's just amazing how it felt so far but right not, it's here. We have just 7 weeks to go and honestly, it's getting more difficult by the day as everywhere hurts. Lower abdomen, tight tummy, really everything... walking, bending... SIGH

I'm just trying to keep a positive outlook and attitude towards everything. The last doctors appointment was indicating that you are not in the right position yet, so I have been bouncing on the birthing ball and rolling on it as I hear it help encourage babies to turn. I am trusting God that it will all workout. I will know by next week"


Symptoms;
The 3rd trimester was hands down my least favourite. It was a constant battle. It was harder to sleep, harder to get things done, I had more aches and pains and generally not very happy with it. My tummy became very tight which meant that I felt every turn the baby made and it was painful. Lower abdomen hurt and I had back pain. My doctor asked me to take camomile tea for the sleep but it didn't make much of a difference. I would soaked myself in a bath to help me feel lighter and ease the aches but it was soon back as soon as it was time to sleep. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I was one step closer to meeting my baby.






Doctor's Appointment;

By the 28th week, I had to go for my doctor's appointment every 2 weeks which was abit much, I understand that it is necessary but waiting for over an hour just to spend 5 mins with the doctor every other week coupled with antenatal visits in that condition is not exactly easy. I had an issue once, I had to do a glucose tolerance test as a routine but I saw another doctor (not the one I regularly see) when my result was brought in and I guess he misread it, the incompetent doctor then concluded that I failed the test and I needed to see an endocrinologist - I had never heard that word before that day - mind you this endocrinologist appointment will cost me extra money and the doctor had immediately told me to book the appointment. I decided to seek a second opinion. I went for the glucose tolerance test myself (before I was referred by the hospital) not only was the test cheaper when I went myself the result was also better. Apparently, the hospital didn't inform me about the rules before I took the glucose test and once I saw my regular doctor again, he said it was fine and I didn't need to see any specialist. I learnt that in this country, Hospitals, especially private hospitals are looking out for their pockets first, seek a second opinion and a third if you have to before you take anyone's word for it.




I wasn't very happy about needles. Imagine I took the test 2 times.
Physical Changes;

I saw my body change in ways I never knew was possible. The miracle that is carrying a child, is out of this world. For some funny reason I felt less body conscious because I felt like I had an excuse to have the extra pounds and I also felt proud that I didn't look "too big". Which only showed my discipline through the very long journey.





Maternity Shoot;

My husband is a photographer and I am glad he did my photoshoot. I had one of my best friends plan the shoot and she got me props (She wanted the hawaii themed shoot) and all. I wanted a glam classy look but the dress didn't quite come out right so we had to improvise. I would share pictures in another post. Planning this was so much fun but I had to sit on the floor a couple of times during the shoot because I was TIRED! Lol. It helps to have snacks.

During the shoot


I had to deal with a cold sore for the 1st time in my life


Weight;

I gained an extra 3 kg and I was 66kg by my last appointment before the baby arrived. I gained a total of 10kg through out the pregnancy which was not bad at all.

My heaviest - 65kg

I know that some people have it easy and some people don't, I would say I was somewhere in between because I didn't enjoy all the phases. This 3rd phase was harder because it was my first time and I didn't know what to expect and my mind wasn't prepared for it. The only thing that kept me going was the joy of knowing that there was a little human I was going to meet that would change my world for the better. Do I enjoy the pregnancy journey? No! but I know that I would get pregnant again (By God's grace) in the future but then I know what to expect and I would better prepare for it.


Pregnancy Diaries Series so far:

Pregnancy Diaries Series so far:
https://www.nairaland.com/4811725/cuddle-blog-pregnancy-diary-1
https://www.nairaland.com/4820492/cuddle-blog-pregnancy-diary-2
https://www.nairaland.com/4820526/cuddle-blog-pregnancy-diary-3



What was your 3rd Trimester like? Would you want to get pregnant again?

Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxV06-6LHRqXqj6tZGhjEig?sub_confirmation=1

"Nov 2016.
1
Strength
I wonder what makes strength
is it the energy?
the emotion?
or just the ability to do what I don't feel like doing?
or is there more?

5
Bent
This has got me bending
bending over backwards
Things I never felt
Emotions I've only read
and I won't have it any other way
because it births you.

4
length, 126.
For now,
For tomorrow.
For now, because there is so much
bending I can take.
for tomorrow, because there is so much
more to look forward to.
You. "




Pregnancy The cuddle blog


I won't exactly call myself the poster girl for fitfam community but I tried my best to eat healthy and exercise during the second trimester. The 2nd trimester starts from week 13-week 27 and by this time I was stronger and motivated enough to start exercising again (not like I did a whole lot before). I would visit Youtube and type in "2nd trimester pregnancy workout" with these there were appropriate exercises that helped a bit with the back pain I was experiencing.

Symptoms;

Most of the symptoms I had in the first trimester disappeared at this time but I still had backaches, i was extremely obsessed with tracking cuddles size on the Ovia and Nuture app (Android and Ios) I was using and it was great.


Baby Bump?;

I also didn't start showing till about the 5th month and I could still wear my old cloths. I officially had a bumb at 20 weeks. I continued to go for my monthly doctors appointment and my bi-weekly antenatal classes which was kinda fun but I wish it was something that was also compiled in a printed handout that I could read at home.


Pregnancy Blues;

Gender Reveal;

At week 20, it was about time for us to go for Anatomy scan - this scan reveals the gender of the baby and I 'felt' like I was having a girl, my husband wanted a girl but felt we were having a boy and we went into the appointment with our fingers crossed. The technician kept asking us to guess while he already knew the answer and didn't tell us till after all the examination. It was a very very long 30 mins.

We were so excited when we found out we were expecting a little boy. Since, there was no luxury of a gender reveal party (who gender reveal epp?) I went to our family whatsapp group and made them guess and almost everybody guessed right.
This was one of the exciting times during the pregnancy.
Gender Reveal

Weight gain?

By the end of my first trimester I think I just gained about 2kg and 5 kg by the end of my 2nd trimester. I was very conscious of the fact that I didn't want to gain so much weight and I am glad that I had healthy weight progression. One thing that helped me early on was the fact that I read that I am NOT eating for 2. The baby will get whatever he/she needs from me regardless. So, I didn't necessarily increase my portions and I indulged in my cravings moderately. I weighed 55kg before pregnancy and I was about 62kg at the end of the 2nd trimester, which is not bad at all.










Maternity Style?
Half way through the 2nd trimester, My bumb was visibly bigger and my cloths smaller. I had to pack up my cloths and I had to sew some Ankara gowns and I also got some cloths from a close family friend who was also pregnant at the time with her 3rd child, so she gave me some of her old maternity cloths and It definitely came in handy. My 'new' wardrobe consisted mainly of;

Leggings
My old Jeans - I leave it unbottoned
Pinafore - Like the one in the pic above
A-shaped Gowns
T-shirts
More leggings
I could get away with not buying new cloths because I work from home and I know that I won't be able to if I was going to an office.





At the end of the day, this was hands down the time I enjoyed the pregnancy the most. Next week, I would be sharing my least favourite time in this beautiful "pregnancy diaries series" Catch up on the series if you've not below

Pregnancy Diaries Series so far:
https://www.nairaland.com/4811725/cuddle-blog-pregnancy-diary-1
https://www.nairaland.com/4820492/cuddle-blog-pregnancy-diary-2

What was your 2nd trimester like?

Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxV06-6LHRqXqj6tZGhjEig?sub_confirmation=1

After the euphoria of finding out we were expecting our first child faded, We were hit with the reality that comes with pregnancy. Google became my friend that stuck closer because we hadn't announced to anyone except family which meant I couldn't talk to anyone about it yet. I started dealing with all the symptoms I was having which was Nausea, irritability (I couldn't stand staying in the kitchen), tiredness, food aversion.

Thankfully, I didn't have to go out much because I work from home but I had to give myself the extra boost to get any work done.

I started my antenatal appointments at 13 weeks and I did the routined anomaly scan which is supposed check and measure something around the neck for down syndrome and it was the highlight of the first trimester because I got to see the baby for the first time.

"September 5, 2016
Today, my app says 10 weeks and 2 days. Cuddles is the size of a tart kumquat - If I know what that looks like or even know what it is... I think it translates to still really really small.

For the first time yesterday(Sunday) I puked my guts out. I think it was the folic acid I took later at night with water but it definitely wasn't nice. I am so glad that I don't go through that everyday like some people do, although I felt a huge relief after throwing up last night.

The better part of today had me feeling nauseated and drinking the ginger ale sure made me feel a whole lot better. I really felt good afterwards.

The feeling sucks and I can't wait for it to be over, we have 2 more weeks to the end of first trimester, that I am excited about. It will soon be over. It's been over one hour since I drank the last ginger ale and I am already feeling nauseated - Crap!

Cravings? I am only craving Ofada rice but nothing else even remotely tastes good. I can only really eat the ofada because of the pepper. I am looking forward to when I would enjoy a meal again"






Upside of this Trimester: Seeing the baby during the ultrasound and experiencing the teeny weeny sized baby move around and realising that YOU ARE HAVING A BABU for real!!

Downsides: Asides the symptoms that pregnancy comes with, I started to understand -a little bit- the responsibilities that having a baby comes with, it was no longer about me but what was also best for the baby, from the food I ate and making sure I took my medications. I started to feel inadequate, it dawned on me that I am going to be a mummy to someone that will depend on me and my husband for everything. It was so overwhelming but I spoke to my husband and he encouraged me through it.

Lessons learnt

It's not what it is: I learnt that when they say "Nausea" they don't mean throwing up and when they say "Morning sickness" it actually means "All day Sickness"
Google is really your friend: From finding the best apps to answering all my weird questions, I don't think I've used google so much in all my life.

Things that helped me survive:

Help - I had someone that helped me with Cooking, cleaning etc.
Ginger Ale - This helped alot with the nausea
Ovia Pregnancy App - I knew what to expect at different times - On Android and Iphone
Journaling - Writing was therapeutic
Pregnancy YouTube Videos - Sometimes, it's just better to watch people's experiences.

Check out How we found out https://www.nairaland.com/4811725/cuddle-blog-pregnancy-diary-1

What is/was your first trimester like? What symptoms do/did you have? What helping/helped you through the process?

Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
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Thanks for clicking. I decided to share my Pregnancy diary, lessons I learnt in each of the phases and it will be in 5 parts. How we found out, 1-3 Trimester and Birth Story. I hope you enjoy it.


Before we got married, we talked about having kids and our desire was to wait a couple of months before we tried, that was the agreement but God had other plans.

We were not trying and we were not not trying. To be honest, I was terrified of getting pregnant because I knew the responsibility it comes with - or I thought I knew - after the first 6 months, we already had family concerned for us but we were not worried at all as we had been working on ourselves and getting to know each other better to focus on. Looking back now, I am glad we had that time before we got pregnant.




You know how every month before you see your period it just feels like you're pregnant, I had those moments, I would make my husband buy me Pregnancy tests and they would all be negative and while it was a relief (because I felt I wasn't ready) I felt abit of sadness that it wasn't positive, when our marriage was approaching the one year mark we decided, as advised to consult. My Aunty and her Husband own a fertility clinic and I spoke with her, tests done and everything was fine, that was all that we needed to hear, we went back to our worry-free life.



My period was delayed, I honestly didn't think much of it at the time because over the course of the last year the cycle had changed but after like 3-4 days and no period, I decided to take a test, this time without my husband didn't want to stress him just incase it was negative because he was more excited than I was. I was restless through the night and at 4 am, I stood up and went to the guest room so I wouldn't wake him up, took the test and waited.



I saw the 2nd line and I started hyperventilating. I didn't know how to be excited. It hit me that I wasn't really ready. I had thought that if it was positive I would do something nice to tell my husband as our 1st wedding anniversary was 2 days after, I couldn't wait. I went into the room immediately, woke him up, showed him the test and he was super excited, and I was there crying. He started making fun of me for crying, we stayed awake till daybreak. We prayed, talked, he made fun of me some more and imagined how our lives was going to change.



The next 2 days was our wedding anniversary and I wasn't going to believe the test until we did a blood test, so we did a blood test to confirm, it was the best anniversary gift anyone could ask for!



2 lessons that this experience taught me;



1. 9 months is a long time; You'd get excited about your pregnancy and quickly remember that you won't give birth in the next one week. You will take one day at a time, you'd deal with all the 'perks' that come with each of the trimesters but the good thing about the 9 months wait, if you feel you are not ready, it's a good time to start getting used to the idea of a new mini human in your life.



2. Get checked out after a year; If you've been married for a year and you're not trying to prevent getting pregnant, get checked out. Fortunately for us, we didn't have any issue but I have a friend of mine who decided to get checked and found out there was an issue. She did the necessary tests and took medications and now she is expecting her first child. Imagine, if she didn't get checked out? She would still be "Waiting for it to happen". The earlier you discover, the better.



Here are a few of the resources that helped me out after I found out I was pregnant

Ovia Pregnancy - Android and Apple App

Nurture - Android and Apple

Google - greatest search engine ever

A Journal



How did you find out you were pregnant? What do you think of relatives putting pressure on newly married couples? Let's talk.

Blog: www.thecuddleblog.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxV06-6LHRqXqj6tZGhjEig?sub_confirmation=1