TWO-MAN BUSINESS

Episode One - “Me and My Oga”

Hi, I am Edwin Babatunde Alexander, the second guy in my Bosses one-man business, or “TWO-MAN BUSINESS” like I call it.

What do I do…? Hmmm… I do everything for my Boss, from his Personal Assistant, to his caddy on the golf course, I am his business partner, his Driver, his nephew, his son, his errand boy, also his competitor and every other act I need to play to make our “Two-Man Business” successful.
For the records, I am never going to quit this Job unless I am sacked. Why? You will know in the course of our gist… but I can never be sacked. Why? Who else will “work his butt out” for a boss that never thanks you the way you want to be thanked. All you get is.

“Eddy my boy we are going places”.

”Aren’t we there yet!". I will ask with my inner voice, I better not let The Boss hear me, else, I will be in for another long talk about sacrifice and hard work and a promise of a brighter rewarding future... The guy is truly from a family with a high level of “political haemoglobin”.

… Talk of the devil.

….Excuse me, “abeg oga dey call”.

Hello sir;

“….Hey, Eddy my boy, how was your night son? You will be going to SKS Consulting today; I have called to inform them my partner is coming over. I want you to get this contract talks over with and make me. Huh… Make us some money…This people wanna do business with us, they just need to trust us a little more and I trust you can do that. Wear one of those your elegant suits and give them your charming “Fine Boy” smiles son…., “shebi” you know the chairman of SKS is a very young lady? So you know what to do Eddy my boy.. We need this money o… Okay, bye, call me when you have won us some “chedazz”.

You see?

What kind of boss calls you up early morning and doesn’t allow you to even reply to his “how was your night?” Only my smart, stingy, egocentric, arrogant, ignorant and “Pain in the Butts” (PIB) Boss.

Anyway, I plan to do well at SKS Consulting today, so The Boss won’t ask me those heart breaking questions when he see’s my expenses list For the day, I need this money “baje!”, Boss never pay for five months and Anike’s folks have been asking to see their handsome, intelligent and smooth son in-law ooo…

Expenses:
(1) Transportation– #105,000 (executive car hire)

(2) Lunch – #32,500 (with SKS chairman’s P.A)

(3) Tips – #19250 (sks’s gateman, secretary and chairman’s driver)
Total– #156,750.

Guys, this list make sense abi?

Okay guys, duty calls…. Catch you later, but before I go “how much dey my wallet sef?”

#465 naira… Correct! It’s going to be a great day